I have a similar situation in my family. My aunt and uncle divorced after nearly 40 years of marriage. He remarried, they were all civil, my aunt continues to attend family events. My uncle's second wife was accepted by the family (she's now deceased.)

She will always be my aunt, regardless of the etiquette.

I totally agree with Annie. I have two aunts like that. Actually, they married the same man (one is divorced, the other stayed with him until he died). Hm. At any rate, I'm still involved with both of them and love them both dearly. I'd be kind to all and if someone's nose got out of line, it'd have to be their insecurity. After all, kindness can never be wrong. Love is love. You love him, and that's what matters.

When my aunts divorced their husbands, good terms and bad terms, I still considered them my uncles. They were my cousins fathers, after all.

My sister & her husband divorced years ago. They have 2 children together. I will say it's the most amicable divorce situation I've seen.

My kids (grown) still refer to my exBIL as Uncle B.

We invite him & his wife to certain events that we include his children in. They usually come as well. Even my sister (his ex) attends, and they all get along.

I agree w/Annie. Follow your heart.

My (paternal) cousins still consider my mom their aunt, one of them calls her a couple of times a month. My mother and father divorced in 1960! You are still his niece.

I just went to the funeral of my former brother-in-law. That's how I refer to him. He remained a loved member (if not present in family activities) of our family even though they divorced more than 50 years ago.

If you still feel close, then showing your feelings is very appropriate.

I really liked your last few lines, Rob. What she said, Idstarr. :-)

Just because the status of their relationship changed, doesn't mean your love and affection for this man ceased to exist. If anyone asks, I think it's completely appropriate to refer to him as your uncle. If you feel you need to clarify further, you could always say you were related through marriage

My condolences on your loss.

Don't overthink it. Whether you love him or hate him, his relationship to you was as an uncle. He didn't divorce you, he's your uncle with no further explanation needed.

I agree 100% with Annie, Well said.