I would tell him you feel let down.

People need to be demanding. Way to much slack given to the contractors for promising and then not delivering.

No. But then I always did complete and detailed drawings and specifications. And I was on the job site frequently.

Maybe he tells everyone that?

I think not. We were a PITA in many ways. That's for sure. (We weren't told that; I just know.)

But I think we weren't the most demanding.

We compensated over our quirks with our other wonderful qualities..))

And though we had a lot of customization going on, well, relatively, which meant more waiting etc-we weren't like some other lady builder told us about, who couldn't choose some tile for a year..because she changed her mind so much.

He had many very affluent clients, we were definitely "budget ones"-and we had this huge project, complicated and all.

Some things were kinda not anybody's direct fault..like rapidly growing construction boom plus us being further away from most teams, plus real bad traffic in the area..when folks spend more than 2 hours to get to you in the morning, (and later more than 2 hours to get to their families)-you start seeming more demanding by default, after some time.

I think the relationship gets strained as you get closer to the end and the build is not getting done on time and is way over budget. We absolutely paid attention to every detail in construction and reviewed every bill for accuracy. But the reality is, even with a well respected builder, we caught a lot of mistakes usually before they became a problem. The truth is this is the builder's job, but it is our home so I am not going to apologize for caring. We did our best to be respectful and flexible when issues came up, but we had frustrations as well. In the positive, we always paid on time.

"The relationships seem to be more likely to get strained as you get closer to the end."

just wanted to quote it one more time))

well in our case everything was so stretched in time "closer to the end" was half a year before the end

but I still find it to be very true saying

as for being your own GC..two months of my life went just into convincing my stubborn DH we shouldn't do it..given his full time job, too many responsibilities to list, and him sleeping 2 hours a day unless it's weekend..

this build (rather gut remodel plus addition)-it did us in. It's been two years and we're still recovering. And some things, they're impossible to bring back, and frankly no house is worth them.

if he was our own GC..I think we'd end up in some facility..

I don't think I was my KD's "most demanding customer ever", but I was a customer who knew exactly what she wanted and expected to get it. Fortunately, he was a very easy going kind of guy and pretty much allowed me to call the shots. We were both thrilled with the results in the end, but it took some major effort to get there. I know most of his customers are far "easier" than I was - he shows them 2-3 things, they chose 1 and that's it. I spent weeks looking at probably every single cabinet pull available in the western world until I found just the right one and ordered them myself. He liked them very much and when he had to bring a door with the pull on it, to his shop for something, his designers were oohing and aahing over it and begging him to tell them where he found it. He just laughed and said I had found it!

I guess I'd describe myself as a person who expects to get what I paid for. If I pay for Ikea, I expect to get Ikea; if I pay for Hermes, I expect the finest.

One of the questions we asked of our architect and builder while interviewing was regarding this specifically. I wanted to make sure they knew we wanted to be very hands on and that I would like stop by the build daily as it is on my way home from work. We found the right combination and it has so far been a great experience. I think being up front with them has been helpful.

We built our house ourselves, and my husband is a builder -- a very demanding one, of himself and his crew. I can probably safely say that he was the most demanding builder I've ever experienced on a personal project, and I was the most demanding client he's ever experienced. So we're fairly even and have a pretty nice house to show for it : ) .

Like beckysharp, we built our house ourselves and I was pretty demanding of us :-)

I think builders sometimes forget that a lot of people who are building a house are sinking their life savings into their dream home. They have spent years planning and saving and a lot of times are building a "forever" home. I'm sure most builders look at your house as just another job and don't realize the emotional and financial investment the homeowners are bringing to the table. I say be demanding! LOL

I'm quite sure I'm not. I'm unwilling to pay for perfection, so I don't expect to get it. Whether it's my time on a DIY project or money flowing to a contractor I expect the cost to double as you go from 80% perfect to 98% perfect, double again as you go to 99% perfect and so on-- with perfection being 1) unattainable and 2) lost within the hours of moving in. (Case in point-- when we moved into our previous and only brand new house one of the movers flooded the toilet, which overflowed causing the hardwood floor to buckle. So much for perfection!)

My expectation is for "pretty darn good", but I've done enough to know that stuff happens in construction, and reality intervenes. Fix the important stuff and retire a year earlier or spend a few months in Italy with the money you save by not attempting perfection.

I had a (male) contractor walk of my last remodel job on me and quit because he was furious that I (a girl...lol), after having had a new home and several other remodel jobs done for me previously, had corrected his framing crew when they improperly framed out all my door openings. Somehow, HIS framing crew didn't realize that a 3/0 door meant a 3 ft. (36") door and they framed it 32" because they thought 3/0 meant a 30" door. This happened for every door in the remodel area.

So yeah, I guess I am demanding since I refused to change my door order to compensate for his bozos' lack of knowledge. I think this guy really had a problem with a "chick" knowing anything about construction.

Our contractor made a point of complaining about how demanding his clients were. It was part of his act.

@shead, in defense of your contractor it is generally poor form to correct subs directly. Better to talk to your builder and let them handle it.

@opaone, I wouldn’t have had to if the guy would’ve picked up his phone. The framers left saying they were done and the next round of subs were coming the next morning and this botch affected them. For some reason, I had the sub’s # so I called him. The poor form was barging into my home and getting in my face about it in front of my children...ugh. I was actually very nice about it with the sub.

I've learned so much from all of you! My husband and I have been the contractors in our remodels but with this new house we have a builder. And I HAVE WARNED him that I really want to be a big part of it. We are only in the wall footings stage, so we are just starting. Our builder told me that he has heard it ALL and nothing I might ask is a dumb question. I told him I would be the first one to change his mind, so he should be prepared. He has nicely told me that I was overthinking a couple things but surprisingly I did find an error (made by the architect) that I was questioning him on. Guess I've decided to not wait to ask questions, especially about items that can not be easily changed. The main thing the builder asked was that I tell him of my concerns first. (He does answer is phone or respond quickly to my delight) . In Sheads case, only knowing what I've read, I would have done the same thing. Doorways are a pretty big thing. Time is money and her contractors subs for the next day would possibly be wasting their time and her money, if every single door had to be redone by the previous subs. In my case, I probably already know some of sub contractors or their boss because we live in a rural area next to a very small city. If I don't know them, I've probably crossed paths somewhere! If my contractor didn't respond within a few hours, yes, I would be looking for their number. Sooo, I hope I'm not the most demanding customer, ah, it could happen.

Pretty sure I am not. But we've known each other for years. I do know what I want. But I'm willing to do all the leg work myself and line things up with all the necessary contact info, when I want something out of the box. And, in the process, he's learning about some new resources he didn't know about. ;-)