Like Imacamper, I will be 70 next week. Arthritis in a lot of my joints has slowed me down some, for sure. And I have struggled with my weight all of my adult life.

I remember when I was 8 and my mother was 28, I wondered how people could be so old. And yet last year, when she died at 88, she no longer seemed so old. Our perspective sure changes.

I gave up wearing makeup years ago, I have dry eye and glaucoma and my right eye would start streaming tears as soon as I put mascara on. Since I have always had white/blond hair and eyelashes, I hated to give it up

My husband is 83, he gardens, roofs, paints, fixes motors, etc. We go out dancing every chance we get. We have slowed down some, for sure. I spend far too much time in front of the computer and the tv.

We are both very happy, and that is the most important thing in our lives right now.

Well, they say it takes 10 yrs to get used to how old you are.

My dear friend who will be 94 next month and is bed ridden still says she doesn't feel old, just that her body doesn't cooperate like it used to.

I painted in a house for sale, owned by a 91 year old man. He used a walker, but mostly for security, not because he needed it. He was moving into the retirement community where his daughter lived. :) He said the past year had been a bit difficult, physically, but the first 90 had been great!! I loved his attitude.

I turned 70 last Saturday and didn’t really notice. Much. I am older than my mother was when she died of cancer. That had been on my mind for a while, but she didn’t really go to the doctor like she should or take care of herself, and I have always been health conscious. It pays off.

I am active, use moisturizers, body lotion, have a ‘young’ attitude, and haven’t colored my hair in 2 years but don’t have much gray hair. So I don’t really look my age to many people. My skin is surprisingly smooth with few wrinkles. I use a tinted moisturizer and sometimes a foundation with more coverage. A little bit of eye makeup if I am going out for the day (mostly blush, a touch of shadow and mascara). But I think it’s genes really. My grandmother and grandfather looked far younger than their years.

I also run a little, walk, work out with weights, take Pilates, garden, we hike often, sometimes kayak. and it seems like I am always on the go with volunteer activities. Yes, I have slowed down. I can’t work in the yard all day like I could in the past. My weight is where it should be.

Eld, I agree with you. Illness and stress are major aging factors. Any time one has a setback in life due to one of these life events, it can cause one’s body to react in a negative way. Chronic illness is the worst, especially for those of you who want to be active and can’t do what you want to do and were formerly able to do. My heart goes out to those of you in this situation and fighting this battle.

How old would you be if you didn't know how old you are?

Sometimes i feel 45, sometinmes (like when I walk and my left knee hurts and I get out of ) I feel more like 80!

I've had a horrible summer and going for an MRI this afternoon. I should have the results in a couple of days so I'm not going to comment yet on feeling old.

Watchme, i rode nearly everyday the first two decades of my life. Over the next twenty I rode several times a week. In my forties it just got to expensive to keep horses. After that I only rode on occasion. Now in my sixties, no way! Good for you! I know what those first times must have been like.

What I'm trying to say is that age is NOT 'just a number'. It's a real, physical process that occurs from conception to death. Our bodies grow and plateau and decline. You wouldn't deny the 'growth' part; it's unreasonable to deny the inevitable decline. This is reality.

How you *cope* with it is something else. Believing that *you* won't have any problems with age because you moisturize or exercise or have a positive attitude is as human as believing that it's always 'somebody else' who gets hit by a bus or gets cancer. Not you.

I was 5" 2" in 8th Grade. I loved it. I was so happy to be that little cutie for life. Oh, but then I grew four more inches, to 5' 6". ! needed *braces*. I needed *glasses*. Oh, woe! My body *changed*.

I stopped being 5' 6" and 130 lbs. at age 75. By then I'd had both hips replaced. Today I'm 5' 4" and struggle to keep above 100 lbs. I'm going to have to have cleaning help. Two years ago a cleaner asked it I wanted her to change our bed. What? *I* do that -- have done it all my life. Oh, but *now* I need my DH's help.

Things Change. We change. I was pretty naive about this. You don't have to be. Aging isn't good or bad in itself; it just IS.

. Believing that *you* won't have any problems with age because you moisturize or exercise or have a positive attitude is as human as believing that it's always 'somebody else' who gets hit by a bus or gets cancer.

I can see what you are saying, but I do believe, and I think statistics bear me out, that those who exercise and have a positive attitude have on the whole, less problems with aging.

Of course we all get older and things start to deteriorate :-) No one is arguing that point. But there is a big difference in being old versus acting old and therefore being treated as old!! An active lifestyle and a positive attitude and a willingness to accept and adapt to change can make all the difference in the world between chronological age and mental age. Mentally, I am probably closer to 35 (but hopefully with the wisdom that 70 years accumulates) than I am to my calender age, which is double that.....and I intend to keep it that way for as long as possible!!

During the course of my days, I often encounter people that look like and I consider to be 'old'........only to find that they are indeed younger than I am. But for whatever reason, they just act old, whether it be their dress or mannerisms or their bearing or attitude. That is what I hope to avoid.

A comment about those that exercise. Probably just the people that I know but the people that I knew when younger that did the right things became bionic in their 40's and 50's. Those that just lived their lives little or no sports activities or exercise other than just life have only become bionic in their late 60's-80's.

I feel for you OP, because I am in the same boat with beauty products and cosmetics, and having reactions. I hate walking around with dark circles and bags that can't be even a little concealed because products all cause reactions and irritation.

As an older parent, I started to feel perceived as old when kiddo started school. I remember talking to some of the other K parents and realizing that I was already driving a car by the time the were born... Through the natural course of events, I tend to gravitate toward the group of grandparents who pick up and/or care for their grandchildren. I don't feel young in a grade school setting!

Inside though, I feel no different than when I was 17, just a lot more layers of life. Maybe age is just experience?

My dad passed not too long back at 72. Given many of the very active 70, 80, and 90+ people I've known, it bums me out that Dad didn't get so much time. He was very youthful in so many ways before dementia stole him. I worry that given family history, maybe I'm older than a I realize- with old being a factor of how close you are to your natural death :(

Well I am 85 shortly and not doing too bad still live on my own and cook and clean for myself but have had a horrible right arm ache for 4 days so off to doctor today .Good friends and family keep me going.I am a two time cancer survivor.Lost two spouses one to another woman and one to cancer, have a great sense of humor.Never give up is my motto.

I was carrying a very heavy dresser, DH did not open the storage unit door all the way. We ran into the door. Got the dresser rammed into my face. :0) Sometimes I wear more makeup than other times. lol I also dyed my hair the other day. Exercise makes me feel really good! When I feel good, I move around better, but....I still "look" old. lol Right now I wear a T-shirt and jeans, pony tail and baseball cap.....not much fashion sense, just comfort. It's very freeing, but ages my overall "look".

MarcoPolo stated: Not constantly discussing your complaints can be of help. I absolutely believe that. When I was working in HR, I had an employee who constantly voiced her health complaints and called in sick frequently. One day one of her co-workers came to me and said they just could not take her constant complaining about her health; that it interfered with their worktime because of hearing her complaining. Then the very next day, one of the employees from another department came in to say she did not want to have to deal with my employee because she was constantly talking and complaining about her health issues instead of listening to the reason the employee came to HR. I knew then I had to talk to my employee about this very sensitive issue. I called her in and told her that I had received complaints about her constantly talking about her health issues and that it was very upsetting to others. She immediately wanted to know who. I told her the issue was her constant complaining and it didn't matter who complained. I asked her to try to be mindful and not talk about her health issues so much. She actually followed my instruction. Amazingly, she also quit calling in sick so frequently. I often wondered if she ever realized she had quit being so sick after she quit talking about it at work.

So much of 'old age' is really good or ill health.

I think there's another aspect to it that can make people seem old and that relates to attitudes and habits.

Many things in our society and in our lives aren't as they were when we were younger. Or as they were in our parents' younger years. Or whenever. That's a plus as far as I'm concerned. Many refuse to accept and adapt to such changes. And keep outdated attitudes and practices. We all live in the world of today. Those who cling to older ways and reject aspects of the modern world seem old before their time.

Elmer, I agree. While there is nothing wrong with looking back and reminiscing, embracing the new and not adapting to things in life as they are today can actually prevent one from enjoying the life you have.

Sure, I wish sometimes for a slower pace, and small towns where kids (and all people really) are safer from crime, drugs, and from harm, but we don’t have that anywhere anymore.

So very true, Elmer.

When this list doubles in size!

Outsideplaying...yes, there are...and that is the very reason I moved from where crime was increasing to the quiet, safe small town I live in now...and love it here....so those do actually exist...and I am thankful every day to be here.

When I say age is only a number I am not blind to the fact I am old. I just don't think being old means you stop living or necessarily need to live safer. I lived safe during my prime years because I wanted to be there for my children. I still want to live as long as I comfortably can but age has freed me once again to live my life doing some of the things that scare me most. Within reason. Calculated risks with safety in mind. I'm not ready to die yet. But I am not ready to spend the rest of my life in a rocking chair yet either.

But I see a lot of people my age and even a lot younger than me living a dying life. They have so many fears they are paralyzed by them. They won't go out after dark, they don't enjoy dining out because they are afraid to eat this or that, others do the opposite, filling their empty lives with continuous eating increasing their chance of the very illnesses they fear, they won't go to the beach because they don't look like they did at twenty, they won't go to an event because an hour drive is too far. They don't embrace technology because it's too hard or scary. The list goes on.

I think the main question to ask yourself is, 'Is this working for me, and am I happy with things the way they are."

Sure, I wish sometimes for a slower pace, and small towns where kids (and all people really) are safer from crime, drugs, and from harm, but we don’t have that anywhere anymore.

That is simply not true, and statistics will show some communities are much safer than others. No place is absolutely safe, but one certainly can pick from a range of risk. And when one is older that can be a good choice. It isn't by accident that so many seniors are the victims of crime, they are easier targets.

Of course some are safer than others. But none are completely drug or crime free. As a kid we thought we were safe from everything though. Drugs certainly weren’t on anyone’s radar. It’s like choosing to live in a certain section of a large town or city because of statistics.

I grew up in one and live in a small town but it certainly isn’t without its problems. If you think there is a utopia out there immune from all this, you are wrong.

Last month we reserved a weekend with the grandsons at a state park lodge. At first we were apprehensive, thinking we'd be the only old folks there, participating in the hiking, kayaking, etc. We were wrong!!!! There were many other grands there with their kids, having fun and exploring just like us. That was a pleasant adventure.

Lucille: No place is absolutely safe

Outside: If you think there is a utopia out there immune from all this, you are wrong.

Lucille: statistics will show some communities are much safer than others

Outside:Of course some are safer than others.

Outside, we are saying the same thing.

It’s like choosing to live in a certain section of a large town or city because of statistics.

That is exactly how I chose my current location and I'm happy I did the research. I may be moving closer in to my son, and I'll use the same methods.

Here's a fun story; I had a 94 year old active neighbor. When asked what she would like to do for her birthday she asked to go to the local hospital to volunteer serving meals to those old folks in the 70's and 80's. :)

I've noticed something that could be interesting or scary about age perceptions. In my 50's I starting noticing a few health problems. I rarely visit physicians but when it got bad enough I did finally go to two different physicians for different issues in different years. They both dismissed my concerns with the rational was that I was too young in my 50's to have any "real" problems so they wouldn't bother to do any testing/diagnostics/treatment. Has that been you'alls experience?

Raye the dismissal of health problems in women by doctors of both sexes is very common. Most often dismissed as stress or depression then told to watch what you eat, exercise more, and get more sleep. While those can make you function better it does not address the actual problem. This is one of the reasons that when women have heart attacks and other major problems the cause is found too late.

An aside to this last year when looking at suggested preventive medical things I noticed at age 75 unless you have been diagnosed there are none.

When my mom moved down to be closer to us after she had been diagnosed with Alzheimers at 83, I googled what were the top nutritional/vitamins did seniors need for health concerns. The first thing that came up on just about every website was water. Apparently we start losing our sense of thirst in our 50's and that was something I didn't know. IT's good for our body and our brain.

Thanks, Mailfleur glad to know it's not just me that had this happen.

Details on one episode. I went to a doctor here after a possible DVT while traveling and on that trip I did receive a prescription from the European physician. The American doctor told me that me my legs were swollen only because I'm in his opinion "too fat" and too young to worry about DVT's.

As for the "fat" my BMI was at 21 at this time, overweight yes, but not "fat".

I agree that no place is really safe to live. Although when it's stinking hot I walk my dog at 10 PM the three miles around our route in town. It just would take one sociopath to attack us. Look at Mollie Tibbetts living in this small safe town and now she's dead.

When I was younger every time I tried to exercise the only thing I could do afterward was sleep. I always knew that it was not normal. Eventually I had a sever cold in my chest. Doctor took an xray and it showed a spiderweb of something surrounding my lungs. Until then my tiredness had been dismissed as depression. Many times I have heard other women talk about how for various problems their problems were dismissed. One of the things I have noticed is when a man has a problem they are sent to a specialist where women are seldom sent.

With swollen legs I would worry about problems other than DVT if you still have the problem occasionally.

No where has ever been entirely safe. Things happen and because of the who, what, and how they happened only the people connected to the event know about them. Drugs have always been a problem. People have been kidnapped, killed, or sold probably since the dawn of time. It is just that people and news sources are more open about crimes that people think they have increased. No one outside of the small community that Molly Tibbits was from would have ever heard about it 20 years ago.

"I rarely visit physicians but when it got bad enough I did finally go to two different physicians for different issues in different years. They both dismissed my concerns with the rational was that I was too young in my 50's to have any "real" problems so they wouldn't bother to do any testing/diagnostics/treatment. "

It sounds to me like you went to two very crappy physicians. That's a BS explanation to a patient's complaint. Too bad you apparently didn't have the chance to see better ones.

As for health practices, everyone should have an annual physical. I hope you know now to do that.

I agree that those were crappy physicians, actually one was a physicians assistant. However is this the norm for today's medicine?

I'm not the kind of person that goes to a doctor for minor issues so I didn't expect to be dismissed in that way. With one experience I would say that was just an bad visit. With two similar experiences I see a pattern and wonder if there's a minimum age before a doctor will take a patient seriously. Directly relates to when is one considered old.

As for the chance to see another doctor, when insurance only has one practice per specialty that's not possible. Their website only allows searches within a 100 mile range. And yes, it's a big name national insurance company through work.

Maifleur - fortunately the medicine from Europe took care of the swelling. What happens when I travel long distance next time... ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

"With two similar experiences I see a pattern and wonder if there's a minimum age before a doctor will take a patient seriously. Directly relates to when is one considered old."

No, I'd disagree. I'd suggest the pattern you are seeing here is consistent, it's what two crappy physicians did. Good docs pursue any comments, even if coming from a 5 year old.

It's important to see a physician regularly, especially as we all age. The best example - do you see a dermatologist regularly? A high percentage of those who went through childhood before sunblocks became common in the 1980s will develop cancerous or pre-cancerous spots on their skin. Life threatening risks can be avoided if identified and removed on time. If not, well then, there are consequences.

I agree these physician's attitude was not what I grew up with and not what I would choose to accept.

Here's my question Elmer, in light of the treatment I've received or more accurately not received, what is the purpose in seeing a physician who does nothing?

Or, should I hope that at some point in the future I will be old enough to end the physician's response of "well you're too young to have anything wrong" dismissal.

There is a real reason to see a doctor regularly. There are health conditions that can only be found through what is considered routine blood work. Think several of the treatable cancers, diabetes, or high blood pressure. As you age a DEXA test is important to see if you are loosing bone mass. Loss of bone mass can be slowed by weight training with heavy weights but you would not know if you had it without the test until your bones break or your spine is unable to straighten. I think it is not age that many doctors dismiss women but only because of their sex. Probably because a woman notices changes in her body and wants to find out the why early where most men would wait until they have a major problem before going to the doctor. Sometimes being early means the symptoms are too slight to detect by just a casual exam beyond the bias of some doctors that think women run to the doctor for "just any little thing and really want just someone to talk to". Had several of that type in my life when I was trying to find out why I tired so easily.

I don't want you to feel like I'm criticizing you so let me speak about myself.

There are plenty of physicians in my area and in the region in most directions. I have no toleration for BS nor double-talk. With healthcare, dealing with the worst costs as much as dealing with the best, so I want the best. My primary care physician can be one hour away if travelling at rush hour. I go there gladly, she's a prof at one of the top medical schools in the country and she's awesome. Other services at the same medical school are the same distance and again, I go there gladly. My phone calls are returned quickly, my questions are answered promptly, and when she's not immediately available, someone else gets back to me. After each encounter, I get a satisfaction survey. I see physicians who are national experts in their field, not nurse practitioners or physicians assistants. It costs me only a bit more time, no more money. I get test results and the doctor's comments the next day, often the next morning after an afternoon test. If I have questions, I get responses immediately. A few months ago, I got results in the late afternoon and in the evening, I sent the doc a question. It was at about 8:00pm. I expected to hear back the next morning but I got the response at 8:15pm.

My experience isn't the same as everyone else has but it's not that unusual, from what I hear from most friends.

That's the current standard of medical care I experience. I live in an urban/suburban area, not in a small town. If I did live in a small town, I'd drive to wherever necessary to be seen by better docs.

Your medical care is your life, it can affect your life expectancy and quality of life. I hope you have time to find better care. Don't go back to those losers or the practices they work in because if that nonsense passes as an acceptable level of care, you need to do better. Good luck.

Elmer - your experience is what I used to have, a wide choice of high quality physicians.

Not only does today's insurance limit access to but a few physicians but it also limits accessibility by region. So with your example of dermatologist, they might list 5 options but they are all in the same office. So if the physician in that one office is the only one that covers the service that you need is a bad choice there are no other options. As to going out of region it's no longer covered and here's the kicker
- even when there are no providers of a particular specialty in the region.

That's the reality of today's insurance that a great number of us live with.

But enough about insurance let's get back to the original topic about age.

My medical care is similar to Elmer's, except my doctor and facility is two miles away. Medical exams, dermatology, lab work can all be done at one location in one appointment. Lab results appear same day! With a thorough explanation and advise if any is needed. None of the BS about coming in to see the doctor about your labs.

I too have messaged my doctor via MyChart and always receive same day, and most often a few hours for response. I too live in an urban/suburban area.

Before we relocated here, we belonged to the Cleveland Clinic Network. We're accustomed to receiving top notch medical care and refuse to settle for anything else, especially at 67 years of age.

Insurance isn't a concern, since Medicare allows you to see the BEST doctors at the same price of less competent doctors.

Raye Smith, I almost feel like I could have written some of what you posted. I have a lifelong history of being disregarded by doctors to the point that I almost never bother to go. I'm almost 50 now and have had unusual health issues since I was a child. I've never found anyone to take them seriously, and address those concerns, so stopped going much and just got on with living my life as best I can. The doctors I have access to don't seem interested in a whole lot more than doing whatever routine test comes up on the age chart. A few years ago I was in at the doctor's office for some of those routine tests and complained about a lingering cough- the physician suggested I try making another appointment as that is not what we were here for today.

We have presumably good medical insurance, we pay a mint for it, even through DH's work. Around here finding a doctor's office that is accepting new patients is extremely difficult. At least through our insurance we have access to a larger practice, but I still haven't felt considered after all these years.

Sorry to get off topic, but your posts stuck a chord with me.

I feel your frustration.

Qua- thanks for speaking up, it's sad but nice to know that others have had similar experiences, so sorry that you've had those same frustrations. Yes, I've experienced that same issue of few local (within 100 miles) physician accepting new patients. Many of the retirement plus age people in this area rave about what wonderful healthcare there is for such a small town. They have access to the better doctors and a broader range of services. With the necessity to frequently raise the entrance age for Medicare I don't expect to ever have it.

As for the doctor requiring another appointment - that's an insurance rule. I remember years ago taking some supplies over to a K____ S_____ women's clinic that was finishing construction. They had a long row of tiny cubicles and in each one was a large sign stating that patients couldn't ask questions during a "well-woman" exam, a separate appointment was required for all questions.

Here's another example, I was in a minor car wreck but had a possible broken bone in one hand and leg. The clinic would only take one x-ray per appointment.

I have a similar experience as quasi.

In my case many many doctors later with no answers and no results. 30 + years of migraines that weren't even touched by any of the medication. Side effects which would have floored an elephant. I've had to wean myself off of drugs many many times. The doctors didn't want to help they just wanted that drugs to do the job. So I had to take my life into my own hands so I could have a life after migraines. I studied and researched everything about my illness. I read every Medical journal and even went to Medical libraries and researches drugs old and new anything related to migraines. I looked for nutritional answers and lifestyle and health related answers. I had to be my own advocate; no choice. Doctors aren't always on your side. Or apparently even know how to help you.

Elmer and others are very lucky!

My son had the same experiences and we are watching my sister go through the same thing. Our system isn't the same for everyone even though it should be!

My best advice to you is to not give up. Keep trying to find a good doctor who will listen to you and help you move through your problems. At the same time make sure you are taking care of yourself nutritionally physically emotionally and mentally as best you absolutely can. Those are in the end or what helped me much more than any doctor did! Even though I feel that way for myself and and now starting to have no hope for my sister and son if you can find a good doctor like Elmer and others have you will have your own self as an advocate and them as an advocate. I think more than one person working on maintaining your health is much better.

I do wonder about what people think Medicare does. Part B only pays part of any charges you need either a supplement or an Advantage plan to pay the rest. Almost all insurance companies now use what are called preferred/in network or out of network providers. Some only cover certain areas and if you have any medical charges outside of that area unless they are of emergency nature they are on you. It all depends on the company and not Medicare.

Raye I have heard the same thing but generally it was not the insurance company but the doctors office either wanted additional billings or the person who codes the bills to send to the insurance company, coding those long list of numbers, did not know the code and was unwilling to learn. Luckily I had as a friend someone in charge of this cities ambulance billing area and gave me codes that would go through. Do not give up.

I had migraine like pains. Was told they were depression and given pills. Turns out years later after I learned some biofeedback for pain I had a pinched nerve between my neck and shoulder that only deep pressure point massage found.

I still think, although most men will disagree, that doctors treat women poorly and discount real health problems that if the woman was male they would be sent to the nearest hospital.

I don't consider a discussion about how to be healthy off-topic. It's a pretty broad topic I brought up as it is. :-)

I agree Maifleur it is harder to find the right Dr as a woman. So sorry you had anything remotely associated with pain. It is a real well pain.

I think that doctors go with the research and there is more research on men than on women even today. So it's not entirely their fault. That's why I suggest people keep trying to find a doctor because some doctors seem to look beyond the research. Many of my friends have found doctors that have helped them for their illnesses but my sisters and I and my son have not been that lucky yet!

I do hope more people come back and post to the OP's subject matter but I will put my 2 cents in on doctors listening to women. I am a woman and my doctors listen to me. I expect them to and if they didn't it would be adios.

When I lost my hearing suddenly the specialist I was sent to was great at his field of medicine but had an abrupt and very condescending bedside manner. I was stressed out and dealing with sudden total deafness. On the third visit I let him have it. I went into almost a complete meltdown. I told him in no uncertain terms that I was not a child and I was not some elderly person with cognitive issues. I was deaf, not stupid or incompetent and I needed to be a partner in my treatment, not some passive experiment.

Well after my outburst we became a great team. He gave me all the options and we decided every step of my treatment together. I developed a great deal of respect for his skills. I lost him due to an insurance change but I still miss him to this day. You can't expect people too treat you as you wish to be treated if you don't let them know. My primary, when I told him the story, responded that it is easy for white coat ego to take over and it was patients like me who keep doctors grounded. So speak up.

How old is CONSIDERED old? It depends on who is doing the considerin'. When I was a child I thought 40 was ancient. In my 40's it had to be the 80's. Now that I am .....quite a bit older than 40....Old is other people. I am in denial. Thank you.

Yes, the older you get, the next stage seems "young" to you. If something happens to a 70-year old I now say, "Oh, why so young?!"

For me right now as someone who is 64, old is someone in their late 90's.