I have not lost a spouse but our youngest son, age 7, died on August 16, 1977. (Same day Elvis died.)

This time of year is expecially difficult.

Hugs to you, Carol, for Thursday....(((0)))

Oh Carol, my heart aches for you, truly. I remember you spoke of this before here. Any plans for Thursday?

Also Alisande and others who have suffered this horrible loss. We do not forget that you still miss your dear ones.

I remember my mother having bouts of depression every winter, starting immediately after Christmas. She lost her father in mid-February, and also a daughter, same month but different year.

I "knew" what she was going through, but didn't really understand until I lost my husband one June. Our wedding anniversary is in July and his birthday in August. When you've lost someone, there are so many triggers.

Thank you, Socks. Like Carol, I start to feel it as the month (in my case May) approaches. My daughter died on Memorial Day. My mom died November 9, when I was nine years old. The month doesn't affect me, but the actual date does. I don't feel this way about my husband's date. After 10 years with dementia, his passing was what I call a "sad blessing."

Lost a spouse in December of 2000....our anniversary is in September, I met

him in a September, our daughter was born in a September, and a grandson he

never got to know was born in September. He is "with us" pretty much the

whole month of September. His BD was in October.

Lost my Mom in 2002...her birthday was in December.

Hugs to all who are "remembering" with pain. It gets easier...but not better.

My Mom at age 47 lost my Dad when he was 49. They lost a son when he was just 10. Mom told me many times that the sudden loss of her husband was indeed hard to bear, but the loss of her son was at the time and every day since the hardest. I understand that. It will be 12 years in 3 weeks since the sudden passing of my daughter. Even though she was just 4 years short of my Dad's age when it happened, she was still my little girl. Fortunately I still have my husband to share my grief.

August 10 marked 8 years since my husband died of Alzheimer's. I really wish he would have been taken earlier so he would have been spared the end of that horrible journey. Just thankful he didn't know ahead of time what he had to go through.

Thank you. It will be 5 years on August 24th since my husband died. The whole month of August is hard for me because during that month he was in a hospital bed in our living room on hospice. I never left the house during that time.

Rose, how hard it must be to loose a loved one that way. To sit and watch as your husband slowly slipped away...no wonder that the your hard time lasts for so long as the time rolls around each year. I often wonder which is more difficult. Losing someone close to you suddenly, or as you did, waiting for the inevitable and you can't do anything to stop it from happening.

My husband died of a sudden heart attack February 2001. He was only 56 and I was left with an 11 year old daughter. There are still so many triggers for me and I think the change of each season is especially tough. He loved and appreciated the things each season brings so I guess that is why these times are difficult. I do truly believe that watching a loved one suffer an illness is much harder on the family. A sudden unexpected death is certainly difficult but to me easier than watching a loved one in physical or mental pain.

Any loss of a loved one is unbelievable painful.

Blessings for peace of mind for all of you. So many memories and feelings, good and sad.

I still miss my mom who died 15 years ago. It doesn't seem that long because I keep her memory alive in my mind and heart. We were such good friends. I wonder what she would say about everything that has happened in my life in the last 15 years.

I wish you all comfort and peace.

Susan

I haven't lost a spouse.

My beautiful grandaughter Sammy (Samantha) passed a month after her 4'th Birthday. Both my younger brothers passed. They were born 16 months apart and died 16 months apart.

My mom passed July 2008...gosh how much I miss my mom.

(((HUGS)))

My mother died in my arms 20 years ago on Aug. 18th, despite doing CPR til the ambulance arrived. It shut me down for quite awhile. Having the kids and husband and house to take care of is what forced me out of bed in the morning but I was just numb for a long time. I cannot even IMAGINE losing a child. My heart absolutely aches for the parents who have suffered this pain.

I don't know anyone who hasn't lost a loved one. We all cope the best we can. Definitely pain in our lives, hold onto and cherish the happy times.

I'm very sorry for the losses everyone has suffered.

@carol - My Dad's birthday is August 16 which we no longer are able to celebrate as he died in 1994. I was his little girl and still miss him. My mom, although still alive, no longer remembers him.

To all who have lost spouses, I am so sorry. My mom moved into her assisted living a couple of years ago after having been on her own since my dad died. My mom had often talked about being lonely but she was always so busy that it always surprised me when she said that. Just before she moved into assisted living I commented that hopefully she won't be lonely anymore. She said that she had been lonely since the day my dad died and the thing that she missed the most was having someone say good morning to her each day and to give her a hug at the end of the day as my dad always did. That;s what she missed. The gentle rhythms of the day with another person.

My biggest fear is having one of my children die. My brother died when he was 44, a sudden brain aneurysm and my mom was so sad that one of her children had died. She commented at the time that we are and always will be her children. I now understand what she means.

My husband diedJune 7 2017, the date of his sister's birthday. This year was the first anniversary. it has not gotten easier. I keep myself together for our children and grandchhildren. I keep very busy with tending my house and my garden. Right now I'm planning our daughter's weddng on Sept 25.

My husband of 32 years passed away in 2010. This year would have marked our 40th anniversary, and I miss being the most important person in the world to someone. My children love me, and are very good to me, but they have spouses, children, and possible future children, who will always be more more important to them--as they should be.

I had to take my father-in-law to the doctor on my husband's birthday, two weeks ago. When I settled him in the car, I told him it was appropriate that he and I were spending the day together. At 89, and not in the best of health, he had forgotten the significance of the date, but not the memories.

When I lost my mother last year, I felt as if I'd lost my biggest
cheerleader, but I'm sure my siblings felt the same. I'm lucky that my
father is still with us.

Hugs to you phoggie, and to all KT friends who have lost loved ones.

My wonderful husband died April 17, eleven years ago, at 53, from pancreatic cancer. I miss him and his laugh EVERY single day!

My 70 year old mother died suddenly of a massive stroke. Her favourite time of year was always the Christmas season. Because she died on Dec. 29th, I hated putting up my decorations and trying to maintain a festive spirit, knowing that the anniversary of her death was approaching.

But eventually, I began to realize how sad she'd be, to know that her favourite time of year was now bringing me sorrow. So I made an honest effort to instead, decorate with gusto, have family get-togethers, and again watch the Christmas movies on t.v. that we always used to love. It was hard the first few times, but gradually felt 'normal' again, as I began to feel how happy it would make my mother, to see our seasonal 'spirit' return.

I'm so sorry for the losses all of you have experienced, and send you each a virtual hug, on the date that marks that loss.

My husband died 5 years ago Nov. 8th and this Aug. 31 would have been 50 years of marriage for us...it is with tears I say this....

Spotpen222, I am so sorry...sending you a big hug.

It's been almost 7 yrs for me and the pain never goes away.

I have taken comfort in the ritual of Yahrzeit, (lighting a candle and saying Kaddish) which my cousins introduced me to:

The Meaning of the Yahrzeit Candle and Flame

In Jewish tradition, the candle flame is often thought to symbolically represent the human soul, and lighting candles is an important part of many Jewish religious occasions from Shabbat to Passover seders. The connection between candle flames and souls derives originally from the Book of Proverbs (chapter 20 verse 27): "The soul of man is the candle of God." Like a human soul, flames must breathe, change, grow, strive against the darkness and, ultimately, fade away. Thus, the flickering flame of the Yahrzeit candle helps to remind us of the departed soul of our loved one and of the precious fragility of our life and the lives of our loved ones; lives that must be embraced and cherished at all times.

I love my husband 13 years ago in June. Not a day goes by that I don't think about him. We were married for 27 years - this year it would have been our 40th anniversary. I always thought we'd have a 50th and am very envious of my friends who are having those these days. He was only 64 - prostate cancer.

I lost my husband in December, also to prostate cancer. I have just lived the hardest 8 months of my life learning to live without him. We were married 51 years.

Big huggs to all who have lost a loved one and prayers for the parents who have lost a child, the worst loss one can imagine.