First, "rude" isn't the question, Second, this isn't strictly a custom build, or you would have an architect designing your own plans to give, in full, to a GC to execute. Third, this is your money. I'd simply send a letter, registered and return receipt requested (cheap) to let the builder know that this relationship doesn't work for you.

Why are you so concerned about the builder's feelings, especially having laid out your discomfort with the relationship? A poor communicant, on the outside, will continue to be that.

You are working on floor plans with a builder, who isn't an architect. Nightmare # 1. One part of a big subdivision profit center. Insist upon a line item bid estimate with all costs. That includes the builder's fee. My guess is that you'll be told that they "prefer to just roll it into the whole costs" which is a big, fat red flag.

Any contractor in this arena knows EXACTLY his costs, for nearly anything. Knows exactly his profits, from your allowance selections. Will take corners on all of it, and do the cheapest thing possible ($$ into your own home) and do whatever he sees fit, within expediency.

No. Your aren't "that client". Just somebody smart with a lot of questions. It's as hard to write as it is to hear. But this one isn't for you...

EDIT: PLEASE don't sign any contract without review from a real RE attorney. A good one will tell you that the best time to iron out details is BEFORE you sign, not after, and will augment your contract to actually include you, the client. Most of those contracts that come from builders, BTW, are written by the State Builder's Association, and completely tipped to the builder,

I'm sitting here laughing (I'm sorry though because I know you are not) because we did the same thing. We ended the first relationship, paid him for his time/design, scrapped that plan altogether and worked with an architect to get just what we wanted. Only then did we approach other builders, and I am so glad we did things this way.

And regarding communication, you are correct to place it high on your priority list. We are a month away from moving in and I can promise you that communication will NOT get better as time goes on. If it's an issue now, it will be a bigger issue in 6 months.

" . . . we did pay him to draft our floorplans."

Are you going to hire an architect to build the house?

"I chose a floorplan I found online"

Did you check their copy right policy?

You could pay the online company to make the changes to the plan, then shop it to the other builders.

As it is, it is unlikely the builder will let you have those plans.

Yes, end it with this person and move on. Lesson learned.

Good luck.

Yes, end the relationship with a letter. This is not going to work. If you must give a reason, poor communication. You are correct that communication is very important. If he isn't good at this stage, he won't get any better later. Go talk to the guy that was interested. Really good advice to find a real estate attorney before you do anything else. Great idea to move down the street to supervise the build. Nobody loves your money as much as you love your money. Never worry about being that client.

If he's this bad BEFORE you sign the contract... don't count on any improvement after...

If you have any doubt, then read my saga because even when you think it's good in the beginning, like I did, things can deteriorate quickly.

And yes, forget the online plan and work with an architect to create a plan that works perfectly for you and your family.

When I was looking for an OB-GYN in preparation for having a baby, my mom told me "You don't have love your podiatrist or your eye doctor, but you should love your OBGYN!" Where the stakes aren't as high in the building business, you have to be able to trust your builder to return calls and follow instructions. Don't start this "pregnancy" with someone you don't trust!

Go with someone else. Don't go down the road of communication being an issue. We have had some ups and downs in our build but one thing that is consistent is communication. I don't always like what they are saying but I always know they will reply and loop me in. I never feel ignored or not heard.

I should also mention that the house plan we settled on (and LOVE btw) was an "online plan" (Frank Betz) and we hired his firm for our changes. So don't interpret my comment above as a recommendation that you scrap the idea of using an existing plan if you really love it. In our case it has worked out wonderfully to go that route.

I do highly recommend that you work with the plan's original architectural firm to make your changes though. Even after framing started, we had to consult with them on a couple of issues - he even re-drew a section of the roof plan for us based on how our framer was doing things. It was vital to our project that they were available as a resource and intimately familiar with their plan. Had we taken that plan to someone else for changes initially, that knowledgeable resource would not have been there when we needed it most.

@chicagoans , thanks for the great resources. I found Part 1 very interesting, but sadly it seems like the links to Part 2, Part 2 Continued and Part 3 aren't working.

They are there (somewhere). Search my name in the search box...! :-)

No, no......NO! Find another builder.

I will echo what others have said....if the communication is poor now, it will not get better the further you get into your project. Prompt communication is KEY when you are building a new home. Also, if you are overly concerned about this builders feelings now, that pressure will only build and become greater when you have to “complain” or bring up concerns with the build or problems with communication. You will feel like you are being a nag and nuisance. Building a new home is challenging enough. You don’t need the added stress of a builder who is lackadaisical in his communication as well as one who seems to be dismissive to your suggestions or gives tired lines like “that’s not what we normally do” or “that’s the way we do it”. If that response irks you now, when you hear it for the hundredth time, you might want to punch the wall.

@Laurie and @dbrad and others... Agreed! Run away. We turfed our first builder and have not looked back. So glad we reset.

Move On. Do not pressure yourselves about when you break ground, and only do so *after* you have vetted every aspect of the house over time.

Hire an architect to draw your plans. You can tell him what you liked and didn't like about stock plans, but let him draw your house to fit your needs and your lot. (Do not rely on anything the architect tells you about building costs. He's not building anything.)

Put your plans out to bid. This is where you'll see cost *estimates*. Your actual cost will be much more.

Do not think that the architect or the contractor will be *building* your house. You will have to check on every sub's work every day. From the start, the lead carpenter is going to be *building your house*. He will probably need to tweak the architectural plans to make it all come together. This is common because, as I said, architects don't swing the hammers or have to make Angle A fit against Angle B in the real world.

Almost none of the cutie-pie builder plans are live-able 'as is'. They usually have five different architectural styles pasted on a 'box', drawn in some story book setting. They short on natural light and go long on elaborate porches that nobody has used since the advent of air conditioning -- but that cost an arm and a leg to build and to maintain. Look at the living space. Look for windows on at least two sides of most rooms. Ignore anything labeled "bonus room". Think about orientation on your lot -- how light will strike each room during the day or how some aspect will enhance or block the light.