Khandi, I agree with you. I told her to look for a roommate (or two). She has two extra small bedrooms but only one bath in the house. But if she took a few hundred of her severance and recruited my husband, her nephew (my son) and a few friends, we sould put a simple bathrrom in her basement for pretty cheap. I know there are ways to make it during times like these. Because I had to make it through tough times. I remember taking a calculator to the grocery store in the 80's (when I had two roommates, by the way...) because I had $30 to spend on groceries! Ya know what? I made some really decent meals for me and my kids on that $30 food budget! She hasn't had that kind of challenge until now. And she obviously is not as resourceful or motivated as she could be. Someone told her that foreclosure was the easy way out and it appears that she agrees. Personally I would be too proud to ever take that way out. I'd go down with one helluva fight. I agree woth you, too Duane, there are jobs out there. One just has to be determined that this thing isn't going to beat them and take what they must until things turn around. Like so many of you have said earlier in this thread, swallow your pride, take any job you can get, it is a quick fix until something better comes along. Geez, I hope she doesn't do the wrong thing..... Linda

This story is painfully familiar, so I will tell you mine and hopefully it can help you. Hindsight does help here. I went through the same thing with my now 19 DS. He was always an A student, very bright and scored very highly (98th%) on standardized tests. He was identified as gifted in second grade. Socially had some problems all the way through school. He was the "nerd" if you will, not the popular kid! Anyway, his junior year we started to see his grades take a severe tumble. At about the same time, I received a phone call from a teacher who was concerned because he hadn't turned in any assignments and the teacher had warned him. The end of the semester was approaching and rather than fail the teacher was willing to accept his assignments late and grade at 80% instead of the 100%. Better than nothing. I talked with DS to find out if anything or anyone was bothering him and he said no, but wasn't able to articulate why he wasn't able to follow through with handing in his homework. He took his semester exams and scored 96, 98, etc on all of them! He also received a 33 on his ACT exam yet was practically failing in school! Something didn't add up! There was such disparity between his everyday school work and his exam grades. Depression came to mind, but I was at a real loss as to what was going on. Nothing was changing even after speaking with him. I was so concerned and frightened. Ironically, my husband had received an invitation from his boss to attend a fundraising dinner for a private school in our area that educates and supports kids with dyslexia and ADD and ADHD. MY DH's boss gave a very moving speech that night about his own son and the struggles they had had. They had sent him to military school, and also had an intervention of sorts where counselor's actually came at 4:30 in the morning to take him away for treatment. The reality of all this was that their son was not 'bad' or 'acting out', but was instaed finally diagnosed by a neuropsychologist with ADHD. Not something that the parents had ever considered. I sat listening to this with tear's in my eyes because EVERYTHING sounded just like my DS! I started going to websites to learn more. In the back of the program from that fundraiser was the name of a psychologist that specialized in adolescents with ADHD and he was in my area. Until then, I had never considered it because my DS was not loud and hyper but rather passive and quiet. I made the appointment and after some diagnostic tests and talking, my son had the diagnosis of inattentive ADHD. And boy, did he fit the bill! Inattentive is a great word for him. The next step was finding a medication that worked for him and this took some time. Not always easy, but we spent the better part of a year trying to find something that worked. There are lots of categories out there! I tell you my story because just like the night I attended that fundraiser, I had never considered ADD either. In fact, most teachers don't either. They don't always have the time with so many kids to teach. Things DO jump out at me now about him. He is extremely forgetful, a big hallmark of inattentive ADD, thus forgetting assignments etc. I even told the Dr. that when DS was little we nicknamed him "The absent minded professor"! His reaction was "BINGO"! His senior year DS applied to 5 colleges. He was rejected from all but one! Today he is in his sophmore year at Case Western and we take it one semester at a time. So far so good! So, just like the night the angels led me to that dinner or our stars were aligned or whatever you want to think, I hope you will consider my story and start a conversation with your family doctor. You have nothing to lose! Good luck to you and your DD!

Having dh's friends/family over is always incentive for him to help out around the house, but then he acts like he is the hero and does things all the time (and it is such a farce). I can put in 50 hours preparing, but he helps the day of the party and acts all put out from the effort (usually, manning the bbq grill, buying ice and loading coolers and maybe sweeping the floor if I am lucky). Now that our house is shaping up, I see how psyched he is to have his "people" over, so I will get some help at some point, but that will be after I paint everything and refinish the hardwood floors all by myself. I mentioned needing help with WT installation and he said that we should hire that out. We have blown through our budget and then some, so there is no extra cash to pay for anything we can't do ourselves at this point (stuff that isn't already in the contract with our gc). I told him I'd help him put them up, but I see that I should have had the reno done in the summer when he is off from school so that he has no excuses. I work year round, but that does not seem to count for as much.... He is smart to pretend that this work is all because I want it and not because he thinks it was needed (as had been agreed before we moved in before he changed his strategy, lol). This way he can critique if something goes wrong and say that since this project is my idea, it is on me. Of course, when the compliments come in, I bet he takes some of the credit, lol....

thanks everyone. last night on the equifax site that rajun posted in SamKaren's post, DS did the 90 day alert. And it was sent to the other two credit companies. He won't be able to get a replacement DL until Tuesday. He has his old license that expired in 2005 in his new wallet. He had the spare key to his truck in his wallet also. Thank goodness the bad guys didn't find that and steal his truck. He drove my car to work this morn. The bad guys charged a redbox dvd. They tried to get a $100 cash advance that was declined, but they DID charge a little over $102 at a (as the chg card co. says..) convenience ret... I'm assuming that is convenience retail, lol So they are doing a fraud report. He spoke with the police department. I'm guessing the bad guys bought gas, what else could you buy for that much money at a convenience store? Beer and gas maybe? DS is soooo angry. Not too many people will match his pic and description on his drivers license! 6'6" 280 lbs. big BALD white guy! scary looking! lol he was in Hayden Lake, Idaho (the home of many neo=nazis) with his summer baseball team a few years ago. And the owner of a little convenience store confronted him and told him to get out, he didn't serve people like him. DS was like, "Ummmm, baseball players?" lol It took the coach and other team mates to talk the guy down and let DS buy dome food for lunch.