If Noah had lived in the United States today the story may have gone something like this: And the Lord spoke to Noah and said, "In one year, I am going to make it rain and cover the whole earth with water until all flesh is destroyed. But I want you to save the righteous people and two of every kind of living thing on earth. Therefore, I am commanding you to build an Ark." In a flash of lightning, God delivered the specifications for an Ark. In fear and trembling, Noah took the plans and agreed to build the ark. "Remember," said the Lord, "you must complete the Ark and bring everything aboard in one year." Exactly one year later, fierce storm clouds covered the earth and all the seas of the earth went into a tumult. The Lord saw that Noah was sitting in his front yard weeping. "Noah!" He shouted. "Where is the Ark?" "Lord, please forgive me," cried Noah. "I did my best, but there were big problems. First, I had to get a permit for construction, and your plans did not meet the building codes. I had to hire an engineering firm and redraw the plans. Then I got into a fight with OSHA over whether or not the Ark needed a sprinkler system and approved floatation devices. Then, my neighbor objected, claiming I was violating zoning ordinances by building the Ark in my front yard, so I had to get a variance from the city planning commission. Then, I had problems getting enough wood for the Ark, because there was a ban on cutting trees to protect the Spotted Owl. I finally convinced the U.S. Forest Service that I really needed the wood to save the owls. However, the Fish and Wildlife Service won't let me take the 2 owls. The carpenters formed a union and went on strike. I had to negotiate a settlement with the National Labor Relations Board before anyone would pick up a saw or hammer. Now, I have 16 carpenters on the Ark, but still no owls. When I started rounding up the other animals, an animal rights group sued me. They objected to me taking only two of each kind aboard. This suit is pending. Meanwhile, the EPA notified me that I could not complete the Ark without filing an environmental impact statement on your proposed flood. They didn't take very kindly to the idea that they had no jurisdiction over the conduct of the Creator of the Universe. Then, the Army Corps of Engineers demanded a map of the proposed flood plain. I sent them a globe. Right now, I am trying to resolve a complaint filed with the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission that I am practicing discrimination by not taking atheists aboard. The IRS has seized my assets, claiming that I'm building the Ark in preparation to flee the country to avoid paying taxes. I just got a notice from the state that I owe them some kind of user tax and failed to register the Ark as a 'recreational water craft'. And finally, the ACLU got the courts to issue an injunction against further construction of the Ark, saying that since God is flooding the earth, it's a religious event, and, therefore unconstitutional. I really don't think I can finish the Ark for another five or six years." Noah waited. The sky began to clear, the sun began to shine, and the seas began to calm. A rainbow arched across the sky. Noah looked up hopefully. "You mean you're not going to destroy the earth, Lord?" "No," He said sadly. "I don't have to. The government already has."

This story is painfully familiar, so I will tell you mine and hopefully it can help you. Hindsight does help here. I went through the same thing with my now 19 DS. He was always an A student, very bright and scored very highly (98th%) on standardized tests. He was identified as gifted in second grade. Socially had some problems all the way through school. He was the "nerd" if you will, not the popular kid! Anyway, his junior year we started to see his grades take a severe tumble. At about the same time, I received a phone call from a teacher who was concerned because he hadn't turned in any assignments and the teacher had warned him. The end of the semester was approaching and rather than fail the teacher was willing to accept his assignments late and grade at 80% instead of the 100%. Better than nothing. I talked with DS to find out if anything or anyone was bothering him and he said no, but wasn't able to articulate why he wasn't able to follow through with handing in his homework. He took his semester exams and scored 96, 98, etc on all of them! He also received a 33 on his ACT exam yet was practically failing in school! Something didn't add up! There was such disparity between his everyday school work and his exam grades. Depression came to mind, but I was at a real loss as to what was going on. Nothing was changing even after speaking with him. I was so concerned and frightened. Ironically, my husband had received an invitation from his boss to attend a fundraising dinner for a private school in our area that educates and supports kids with dyslexia and ADD and ADHD. MY DH's boss gave a very moving speech that night about his own son and the struggles they had had. They had sent him to military school, and also had an intervention of sorts where counselor's actually came at 4:30 in the morning to take him away for treatment. The reality of all this was that their son was not 'bad' or 'acting out', but was instaed finally diagnosed by a neuropsychologist with ADHD. Not something that the parents had ever considered. I sat listening to this with tear's in my eyes because EVERYTHING sounded just like my DS! I started going to websites to learn more. In the back of the program from that fundraiser was the name of a psychologist that specialized in adolescents with ADHD and he was in my area. Until then, I had never considered it because my DS was not loud and hyper but rather passive and quiet. I made the appointment and after some diagnostic tests and talking, my son had the diagnosis of inattentive ADHD. And boy, did he fit the bill! Inattentive is a great word for him. The next step was finding a medication that worked for him and this took some time. Not always easy, but we spent the better part of a year trying to find something that worked. There are lots of categories out there! I tell you my story because just like the night I attended that fundraiser, I had never considered ADD either. In fact, most teachers don't either. They don't always have the time with so many kids to teach. Things DO jump out at me now about him. He is extremely forgetful, a big hallmark of inattentive ADD, thus forgetting assignments etc. I even told the Dr. that when DS was little we nicknamed him "The absent minded professor"! His reaction was "BINGO"! His senior year DS applied to 5 colleges. He was rejected from all but one! Today he is in his sophmore year at Case Western and we take it one semester at a time. So far so good! So, just like the night the angels led me to that dinner or our stars were aligned or whatever you want to think, I hope you will consider my story and start a conversation with your family doctor. You have nothing to lose! Good luck to you and your DD!

Having dh's friends/family over is always incentive for him to help out around the house, but then he acts like he is the hero and does things all the time (and it is such a farce). I can put in 50 hours preparing, but he helps the day of the party and acts all put out from the effort (usually, manning the bbq grill, buying ice and loading coolers and maybe sweeping the floor if I am lucky). Now that our house is shaping up, I see how psyched he is to have his "people" over, so I will get some help at some point, but that will be after I paint everything and refinish the hardwood floors all by myself. I mentioned needing help with WT installation and he said that we should hire that out. We have blown through our budget and then some, so there is no extra cash to pay for anything we can't do ourselves at this point (stuff that isn't already in the contract with our gc). I told him I'd help him put them up, but I see that I should have had the reno done in the summer when he is off from school so that he has no excuses. I work year round, but that does not seem to count for as much.... He is smart to pretend that this work is all because I want it and not because he thinks it was needed (as had been agreed before we moved in before he changed his strategy, lol). This way he can critique if something goes wrong and say that since this project is my idea, it is on me. Of course, when the compliments come in, I bet he takes some of the credit, lol....

I would like to point out that since the thread was started in 2002 I would hope the situation has come to some resolution. Either that or the OP's son is the only 25 year old still in middle school. What you should do is lie to your kid and tell him that grades are monumentally important. That's right I said lie. Grades are somewhat important, and they certainly make paying for college easier. Having said that, knowledge is way more important, I would far prefer my son get a C with complete understanding of the material than get an A with no real understanding of the material. There is a myth about college in general that most parents simply don't understand. Your incredible Ivy league schools have the small advantage of degree portability, but a degree earned from a large state school in the state where you want to work can be nearly as strong. There is a significant amount of research that shows HR directors are biased towards their alma mater, so for example if you want to work in central Ohio then Ohio State is a great choice, mostly because the HR director is statistically more likely to have graduated from Ohio State than anywhere else. The Ivy league only negate some of that. Furthermore, if your son intends to continue to graduate school then even High School performance will not be looked at. Grad schools care about entrance test scores disproportionately, all other factors pale in comparison. When we look at applicants for graduate programs the things we consider are: (1) test scores, (2) work experience, and (3) interview, undergraduate grades only sit in the background to help answer "can the student handle the rigor?". Finally, there is a LOT of research that shows good grades are not an indicator of a successful career and or a happier life. The most significant indicator for success in the work place is participation in an extracurricular sport. The fact of the matter is a B/C student with a strong social life is more likely to be successful than an A student without one. In the end, please make sure that your son/daughter understands the material (please, for the love of god, teach them some math). If they don't understand the material, especially math and english, fix that! Keep their grades as high as you can but don't sacrifice socialization for grades.