The cabinets I think were Cypress. I live in Louisiana & I have the remodel plans from the person that built the pool house addition & they call for cypress. That is a wood that is native to here but, the grain is much like an oak so maybe it is cypress or maybe it is oak. Anyway, there is definitely a grain to it. DH and i argued about the primer coats & how many to put. I won that won (not that it got me anything) because the ones I did don't show any graining with 2 coats of primer. The ones he did do. So if you have thick coat of stain and/or any top coat on oak, you have to sand really well first. Then 2 coats of primer are a must - IMHO. I can see the grain in the ones that DH did and it drives me nutso. Like the underneath of the upper cabs for example. If he had sanded better & done 2 coats of primer, I don't think you would see it since I don't see the grain on the other surfaces. Who knows though because they were custom cabs, the cabinet guy could have used other woods too. They are 8 years old. Don't be afraid though. It is a lot of work but, if you follow the advice on this forum, the result is worth it. The cabs are not that shiny, it's just the lighting in the pool house is not great. They are very pretty. To the poster that asked about DIY cabs, there are some, mostly though people rip out old and put in new. I think that totally depends on the age of the cabs and the condition. If you can save what you have you are technically "going green". How in vogue is that? If they are nasty and have no character to them, then you have to start over. I have seen several posts for people that re-did therofoil or whatever it is called. It is more detailed what needs to be done but, nonetheless, less than new cabs are. I have friends and have seen many posters whose cabinets were $75k. Wow, that's a ton of money. So if you can figure it out, use what you have! Go for it. A little at a time is fine too. If you hate your cabinets, paint them. There are many posters here that have black, blue, brown or white cabinets. All look good. If you can use what you have then a little paint is so cheap compared to new. To be honest, I have the same types of cabinets in my kitchen, laundry, DD bath in my 1950s/remodeled in 2000 house that are 8 years old. All of those cabinets, I will either paint or have painted professionally, the wood is not really nice enough to restain. The ones in my Master bath & guest bath that are original to the house and then painted from 1950, they are out. They are just flat front wood nothing cabinets. There is no saving those. Anything in the last 20 years thougth might be savagable. There are so many options for colors. I can post some colored cabinets from my inspiration file if you would like to see them. that will show you paint grade cabs that are just beautiful.

"the child may very well not ask to speak to his mom because he knows there is a rule that he can only speak to her once a day around bedtime" Nope, not the case. Unlike BM, my DH is the caring and rational parent who has his son's best interest at heart. He would never, EVER tell SS "you are only allowed to talk to your mom once a day."" SS just gets busy living with US and doesn't seem to think of talking to mom. Much like when he is with BM, he doesn't call DH except in the evening, close to bedtime I think Marie you are attributing qualities your 11 year old DD has, and comparing them to a 7 year old boy. Sorry, but boys don't seem to like to "chat" on the phone as much as girls do. I can already see that diff. between my DD and SS. Also, a 7 yr old is really not "into" talking on the phone much yet. Maybe when SS gets older, he will want to talk to BM or his dad more often---but for now, it is simply not an issue. I think you are giving the BM in my situation way too much credit here. She is not the caring, "involved" parent you are describing. I could go on and on about the times she has continually NOT put her child first. She with-held visitation for THREE WEEKS last summer because she was pissy w/my DH for taking her to court. DH talked to SS on the phone throughout the weeks sporadically, and SS sobbed one of the times, crying that he wasn't "allowed" to see dad. AWFUL. Many times now when his mom calls now he asks his dad if BM is fighting. Slowly but surely, he is begining to see his mom is WACKY. It's to the point that SS tries to listen in on DH's phone convos b/c he thinks BM is causing problems. Last week, BM called him, and at the end, she asked SS to put his dad on the phone, and SS said "no because I'm afraid you're going to get mad at him." He knows. This woman is irrational and insane. She sent her current DH to the hospital last winter b/c she got drunk, and ripped the phone off the wall, and chucked it at his head---he had to get stitches. The year before last, she was fighting w/her DH, and I guess he stormed out of the house, and IN FRONT OF HER SON AND HER STEPDAUGHTER, she took a KNIFE to the blow-up Frosty the Snowman in their front yard. SS "laughs" about it occasionally, but DH and I both know it's a defense mechanism. Talk about terrifying for a child---to see a parent that out of control. Last Christmas Eve--it was DH's night, but BM begged him to let her have SS until Christmas morning. DH consented. Well, guess what SS did that night? He spent the evening w/his stepdad at his stepdad's parents' house while BM stayed home gettgin plastered. She called my DH and me a gazillion times, sobbing about how she wanted a divorce, hated her life, etc. Nice, huh? You can sit there all you want and say that she is a caring, involved mother. Yeah, she loves her son, I will give you that--but she is an alcoholic with serious mental issues. We will do what we have to do to protect OUR FAMILY from her behavior and her antics. A direct line of communication to SS is not needed and actually, is very detrimental to our family. And, truth be told, to SS. DH wishes BM had LESS influence over him than she already does. Unfortunately, until she really screws up, joint custody will continue---but that does not mean BM needs to be in constant communication w/their son on his father's time. The woman has some serious issues, and everyone knows it---the former GAL, the current GAL, the judge, our attorney, and heck, even BM's own family knows it. We have a letter ON FILE in our court case from BM's cousin stating that she has a serious drinking problem. If we ever go to trial, this cousin will testify on our behalf.

Update: I tried 2 samples. I settled on Havana Tan and Carlisle Cream and Bare Essence. The latter is Color Stories and could not be made at the hardware store so I skipped it. Havana Tan made the short list as my "warm" one to try because it had the LRV that I was looking for. However, it was AWFUL. Way too peach. Ugh. Carlisle Cream -- the "safe" choice -- was also disappointing. A sample looked ok in one part of the room with no cabinets or counter. But up against the cabinets and backsplash area, the pink came through. So I hit the books again and went back to that other elmira-white/muslin discussion. I studied those numbers in encycolorpedia and I think Elmira White could be a contender. It is lighter than I originally wanted but I decided I will repaint and brighten up the woodwork for contrast if necessary. The trim is currently China White which turns out is kinda dark. If I use something like WHite Dove or Simply White, these lighter beiges will look better. I didn't want to paint trim, but it is an option. And a lighter beige will help brighten up the room. The other possible ones are Temporal Spirit or Natural Linen. They seem really clean with least red. White Sand keeps popping up too. What's really interesting is now that I see how warm Carlisle cream really is, I can put a contender color chip next to it and quickly get a good sense if it is warmer or cooler.

Acrylic is the current most common finish with California custom homes. BM or SW colors can be mixed for more but will not look exactly like the flat paint chip as the texture reflects light different & there are mineral grains in it. Acrylic is a tough stretchy material that will likely last longer than paint. We painted a lot of smooth finishes 96 to early 2000s until this material came online locally. Paint over smooth stucco is an easier touchup, more expensive due to the extra layer but likely won't last as long. Production builders often paint textured stucco finishes to save $$.