Stay at an authentic ryokan. I don’t remember where we were at one - we went with DH’s Japanese colleague on a long train ride. I don’t think they’d had many if any westerners there and we would not have been there had we not been with a local. There are others that are more accessible. DH lived in Yokohama so we were there, Tokyo, Kyoto and some out of the way places with the locals. Can’t recall details as it was a long time ago but the Ryokan was by far my favorite thing.

I have been to Tokyo several times, mostly for business, and to Kyoto once. Tokyo is of course a must see, but Kyoto is the city I loved. We did a few day trips from Tokyo but with your time there you could surely do Mt Fuji and maybe the baths in addition to Tokyo. There are lots of ryokan in Kyoto. Just make sure you are okay with sleeping on a mat on the floor. Mat is a bit of an understatement, but you are on the floor.

I know basically nothing about Japan but we visited Nagasaki for a day and it was a very charming place. And important. But far from everything else.

Yes, mat is an understatement - more like a futon mattress. We were completely comfortable but I must admit I was 20 years younger at the time. And yes you are on the floor sleeping, eating, etc. and in our case eating non-western food. Overall I thought it was fabulous but I enjoy being immersed in local culture when I travel.

There are sooo many historic and interesting places around Kyoto, you would never run out of things to see there. You could fly in to Tokyo, do some sight seeing there, then take the high speed train down. Check out Hato Bus tour itineraries in Tokyo - an easy way to cover a lot of ground there. The city is huge and can be exhausting. The municipal building in Tokyo has an observation deck with amazing views. A visit to a hot spring is also an idea, but may depend upon who "we" are and how you feel about nudity.

Hato Bus Website

Tokyo and Kyoto would be at the top of my list. I really enjoyed a guided (in English) walking tour of the Gion district of Kyoto, and an overnight at Koyasan and the walk through the graveyard.

* The Ginza in Japan is a must-see if you like old-fashioned department stores. Definitely time-warp yourself to 1962 with a department-store restaurant lunch (but with tastier food). Picking a menu item will not be a problem because most restaurants in Japan have models of the food they serve in the front area.

* If you are taking a train trip of more than 2 hours, get to the station early and pick up an "ekiden"--to-go packaged train lunch--from one of the stores in the station. You will be able to get a packaged lunch with local specialties (the equivalent of, say, clam chowder in a sourdough bread bowl in San Francisco). Very tasty, not expensive.

* Japanese temples are very interactive and fun for children. Pack some change so that you can make wishes.

* People in Japan carry handkerchiefs and they come in very handy. The souvenir handkerchiefs at gift shops can be gorgeous--definitely put some money aside. You will need handkerchiefs while you're there, and they make great souvenirs for you and surprisingly great presents for people at home. I gave my mother a handkerchief I bought in Japan one Christmas and was surprised to hear BOTH my sisters draw in their breath and say--in stereo--"That is a BEAUTIFUL HANDKERCHIEF."

RG, I am unfamiliar with The Ginza, thank you so much. And when you say "you will need handkerchiefs while you're there"—for the traditional use? Or is there something else I need to know?

GW, Just googled Gion. Love it. Thanks!

3katz, I wouldn't have thought of an authentic ryokan. I'm gonna have to do some research on the mat...

mtn, Mt Fuji is a great idea too, I'm glad to hear it's doable.

Has anyone visited Osaka or Nara?

Thanks for the info!

I went to Osaka and Nara, I believe as day trips from Kyoto. There is a lovely deer park in Nara, and a reconstructed castle in Osaka, and more temples and shrines from small to large. I remember thinking towards the end of my last trip there that I was getting shrined-out. There simply are so many things to see that you can't keep them straight. The most enjoyment I had was in walking down narrow streets and seeing everyday living in Kyoto and elsewhere.

Re: the hankerchiefs, the one protocol I made note of is that you don't blow your nose in public in Japan.

I can't recommend a particular department store for the Ginza--check your guidebooks. My local friend says a Tokyo newsmagazine publishes a guide once a year of the best department store food court to free-sample your way across at lunch. : )

Regarding the handkerchiefs, when you tour Japan, you are forever encountering situations in which you need to wipe yourself off. Your green-tea ice cream drips, you've done a ritual hand wash at a temple and need to dry off etc. Japanese people usually walk out of their houses with a fresh handkerchief each day.

Ryokan sleeping mats - looks kind of like what I have in my overflow guestroom at home

+1 to Kyoto and a Onsen spa town near Mt. Fuji. My cousins really enjoyed Nagasaki, but it is very modern (for the obvious reasons)

In Tokyo, there are many different neighborhoods that are like small towns within the city. Ginza is the glitzy shopping district. Shibuya, next to the Meiji Park (see the shrine) is fully of trendy young people, good for a people-watching Shinjuku is the nightlife district (note some bars operate as private clubs). Roppongi is the "Gaijin Getto" (foreigner district).

We did a day trip to Kamakura in Tokyo, which had some lovely shrines, a giant buddha bronze you can walk in to, and beaches for surfing. We were in Tokyo w the kids on the way to elsewhere in Asia, so it was an easy choice for a quick day trip.

We spent two weeks in Japan last spring, and it was one of our best vacations. Everything about Tokyo is amazing- the shrines, food and shopping! We also spent a night in Hakone at an Onsen, which is a must-do. Kyoto is a beautiful city, and you can visit the bamboo forest and monkey refuge there. We took the train from Kyoto to Hiroshima and went to the Peace memorial and museum.

My trip to Japan was so long ago I don’t have any practical advice but the mention of Hiroshima triggered this memory.

At the end of the museum there is a visitor’s book to sign. Someone before me wrote “don’t forget you started the war.” I was shocked (and I’m still bothered when I think about it). Why was someone who felt that way even visiting Japan? How did they just view the museum, with devastating pictures and descriptions of what happened, and think that it was an appropriate comment?

Enjoy your visit, it’s a wonderful place.