Take a deep breath. This might be easier for us to read. I am a desperate mother of a 3 year old and everything I do doesnÂt work. He refuses to talk when IÂm around but if IÂm not there heÂs talking with no problem. HeÂs a good boy for everyone else. He can be at grandmas, his uncleÂs, or his godparents, even my fiancéÂs motherÂs house and he talks and he listens, very rarely pitches fits (which is all the time when IÂm around). As soon as I walk in he starts acting up, not listening, getting into things that he knows heÂs not supposed to get into. He wonÂt ask for anything, he whines all the time no matter how much attention I give him. It seems like its never enough. I work with him on his word books, he still acts like he canÂt talk and I know he can, its so aggravating. We have tried everything we can think of. He has a naughty chair when he is bad; he has to sit in it. That doesnÂt work, he keeps getting up or screaming, and we have a "neighbor" that lives upstairs from us and has called CPS on us because of his fits and his screaming fits. we cannot move at this moment because of how bad the economy is. But now because of CPS and their threats we are afraid to punish him and I know he knows that. These people came in my house and told me in no uncertain terms that I could not punish him in any way. The only thing I can do is give him a timeout, and IÂm sorry but in my opinion TIMEOUTS only work on a small fraction of children. My fiancé spends as much time with my son as he can because his biological father isnÂt there for him, (he knows my fiancé as daddy heÂs been the only daddy heÂs known for way over a year and a half). His behavior is out of control and its me and I donÂt know what to do anymore. I just want him to listen and talk. I feel its my fault cause after his "father" walked out on him I think I overcompensated. I would watch my son stand in front of my living room window looking and waiting for that ***hole to show up to come get him (sometimes up to 3 hours). He would just blow my son off and not come, no phone call, no nothing. Because I felt so bad for my son I lacked on the "rules" and now its come back to bite me and I donÂt know how to correct it. I NEED HELP!

thank you for your thoughts. my son does have some health problems. he was born full term but was born jaundice which was not the same as typical newborn jaundice which occurs several days after birth. his hemotologist said that his bilirubin was not severe enough to cause cerebal palsy but he may have been more sensitive to it which could have caused some brain damage. the jaundice was caused by the fact that he has hemolytic anemia. so his hemoglobin is always low (normal is 12-15, for his first year of life he was around 7-8, sometimes lower) he required blood transfusions at 3 weeks and 5 weeks. but he is really doing the best he can possibly can be doing. his hemoglobin went up after his first birthday and is now 9.6. as with most people suffering from anemia he sometimes can be sluggish especially when he is sick. but he has been healthy lately and numbers have been good so he is much more active. i am just really concerned about him gaining and loosing skills. his pt was the one who suggested going to the developmental pediatrician. hopefully they will get back to me soon with an appointment. the guy is so busy that he has a team that you talk to first and they decide if the child gets an appointment. also early intervention is giving me a hard time about evaluating him for speech. i might have to wait until august to get him evaluated at his comittee meeting. so i guess we will see. if they still give me a problem i can probably go through my insurance.

I have read this whole thread as my son is also having similar problems. He didn't crawl till after 1, he didn't walk till later, he always made gibberish sounds with little words. He didn't start putting words in sentences till he was almost 4 and its still only a few words. He has a small attention span unless its something hes really interested in. To get him to cease doing an activity usually results in him getting very upset over it and us having difficulty calming him down. He can get rather loud and hysterical. He will keep doing behaviours he has been told specifically not to. Of a morning before we are up he will just screech & make bird noises out the window, he makes beeping noises like his grandfathers van that backs out and throws things & just general bad behaviour until we get up. If you ask him a question he will just repeat a couple words back of the question at times, if its one he knows hell answer. He had trouble making choices he will decide one and then when given that he will want the other and get upset over not getting it. He will say hello to people, look at them and us and smile and laughs, sometimes he just gets the giggles. I don't know how to toilet train him, he goes to school next year and he just doesn't know when he needs to go, he will pee if put on the toilet but that's it, there's no regularity to when he goes. He loves to sing & do action songs like clapping etc, loves TV, he knows and recognises both numbers and the alphabet, knows shapes, colours, knows his name and can spell it as well as his Nan's and pops and dads. He cannot write it, doesn't take an interest in drawing can draw a circle and a line and the letter L but that's about it. He has been attending daycare since before he was 1 as he is an only child and we have no friends with children and don't go out a lot. They referred us to a speech, physio and OT therapist who he has seen a few times a year. He is progressing but very slowly, he is way behind other children. They also put him into an early intervention group to try and get him ready for school, he loved the activities, he loves being around other kids he just doesn't interact with them. They find him strange. He has now been referred to a team to see if he is on the spectrum, they have done a part evaluation of him and are referring him to a developmental psychologist in January before deciding their diagnosis. He also has trouble with toe walking and W sitting. He refused to feed himself off and on for awhile until i took to counting to 5 and if he hadnt taken a mouthfull I put him straight to bed without finishing, he now eats his food thank godness for now especially if mummy starts counting. This is all new to me, I am a first time mum, I was an only child and also used to toe walk so did my mother. I have little experience in knowing what's normal for kids at what age so this has been tough. Its been tough realising that a lot of parents are having conversations with their kids by now and telling them things and are able to teach them things about the world etc and I have never had that communication with my son. Yes I am afraid of what putting a label on my son will do but I don't feel qualified to help him alone. I am worried about his future and am hoping he will continue to develop. He is a happy little boy mostly he loves to smile and laugh and sing. He loves cars and trains and anything electronic, going out anywhere is a great time for him. He has no problem with strangers or new environments, he loves to explore and learn how things work. Just don't leave him with a book or a picture as he will rip it up in tiny pieces even though he's been told repetitively not to. When he was younger he used to like opening and closing doors.

If he is unwilling to see a problem or seek help (in his parenting skills as well as his daughter's behavioral problems) then I would walk away. Love is not enough to make a relationship work. It takes work and your first priority needs to be your daughter. (it's a bit disturbing that she is 4 and lived with him a year and considers him 'daddy'. Where is her bio dad? Personally, I think it's a mistake to introduce kids, especially girls, to men and allow them to think of a BF as dad when there is clearly issues with his parenting and there is no long term commitment like marriage. Girls need a daddy but not just anyone will do. But that's just MY opinion) From your post, you are no longer living with him, not married to him and he is doing nothing to fix the problem. Some of the symptoms you describe are indicative of a child that is being sexually abused. I'm no expert and I would not run to the authorities but if I were in your shoes, I'd be alarmed/concerned and look for other signs. The primary problem is definitely with his parenting (or lack thereof). The child's behavior might be a result of his parenting and/or abuse/other disorder. Does mom have a BF/husband? Someone needs to look at why this child's behavior changed so drastically and progressively worse and it should be her parents. It's not your responsibility to fix this. If nobody does anything, then I probably would refer it to children's services so they can investigate and get the girl some help. When she is old enough to be in school, an official that sees that sort of behavior should also report it. (I was going to say they will but they don't always)