It is the cost of maintenance on an aging home along with the feeling of being alone in a house that has caused various older people I know to give up their houses. With aging so many things must now be hired to have done. One thing that is not generally talked about is the decreased income that many people have when one passes away. Suddenly one of the SS payments is missing. For many the way pensions are often written the surviving spouse may not receive 100% of the deceased pension.

What works for a pair may not be feasible for one. When I was going to group this was one of the worries that many of the women had. The suggestion was that before that stage was reached was to find out what each spouse would have as income if the other died. Live only on one person's amount for a couple of months. Then live on the other person's amount. Exclude half of the food and any clothing paying only for the basic up keep, living expenses like toiletries, and one car. Setting aside things like insurance for house, car, and estimated maintenance costs. Many thought it would be easy and there would be no difference in their living standards. For most it was very frustrating and caused some changes in spending habits.

I've owned homes for nearly forty years, but lately I've been thinking about cashing out and renting. My idea is that the cash could pay my rent for a nice apartment for at least 10 years without the maintenance headache and expense. Not sure if I'll ever do it -- I love my little house -- but it's an option to think about.

I agree with Elmer. It depends on so many factors. Location, ability to upkeep your property, pets, personal finances, other investments. So very much to consider. Also whether you currently own and how much equity you may have. Do you have children? Where I live my houses will become my children's inheritance because I/we own them free and clear. We have always managed our finances on a single income. On the other hand I have known older people who take on a mortgage and end up costing their children in the end. Little to negative equity is not a gift to be passed on. Well maybe if the kids cannot qualify to buy themselves and can take over the payments in the hopes the market will stabilize for them.

Share a living accomodation with three or four other singles.

Shared chores mean much fewer for each. And if two can agree on how something is to be done, working together is more fun than working alone.

Eat better - tea and toast wouldn't cut it if making lunch for several.

Intellectual and emotional stimulation delays senility.

Safety - if you fall or have some problem, there are others ready to offer immediate help - even triage: we can take care of it; or call this person's caregiver; or call 9-1-1, right now !

Major reduction in (possibly capital and) operating costs.

Quite likely be able to delay the time when one needs to enter retirement/nursing home - at major dollar savings for each such month.

Following a session of hospitalization, if a patient can't return to their individual living accomodation, lacking someone able to offer temporary care, they may become a bed-blocker. But if they are to return to a shared living situation, the others can take care of the person until it becomes apparent whether they'll be able to resume their share o the chores. If not, the original agreement was that they'd need to seek other living accomodation.

ole joyful ... who rents a farmhouse at much less than he paid in a townhouse in the city, 12 years ago

You don’t specify if it would be rent for an apartment or a house. My cousin and her husband rented a house for a year and the landlord decided to sell it. Within a short period of time they had to quickly find another. The same thing happened again. It really took a toll on them to pack up and then unpack and get settled again. Something to consider if you’re talking about leasing a house.

I rented an apartment for a while, during and after the divorce. I disliked apartment living and was glad when the marital house sold, and bought one of my own. I love home ownership!

A condo might be a nice compromise.

I looked into condos and they have many good qualities. One issue that I considered however is the possibility of assessments, where one might be expected to pay a substantial sum to update or repair the common areas.

I also think that not only are we all different, but we ourselves differ depending on the specifics of our lives. I am not ruling out future ownership, but right now, for me, renting is what I think is best for me.

My plan is to go into assisted living when I'm "older". They have some beautiful ones here, a chain. My DH has been remodeling one for years, so he's there often, has seen what goes on. :0) They have a sign up board for trips to stores, they take everyone on a nice little mini bus. They serve meals. Nice groomed areas for walking, great view of the mountains.

There are senior complexes that only people over 55 can live in. No children allowed to live there (grandkids can visit, of course). You own the inside of the unit, but anything outside (roof, siding, windows, doors, sidewalks, yard and driveway) are all taken care of by the condo board. Yes, you pay a monthly fee for those services like any condo complex but it can be worth it for that fee. You still own the inside and if you've been able to sell your home, you *may* be able to pay cash for the adult complex unit and only pay the small monthly fee. You still have ownership but 90% of the hassle is worry free because you pay someone else to do it. :)

I rent. And I love it. When I divorced about 20 years ago, I received the house in settlement but it was older, needed a lot of attention (as did my extensive garden) and it was just more than my abilities or income could support. Since a long time work position ended as well at about that time, I sold the house and moved to a more rural area where rental properties are far less expensive than in the city (also had family close by).

I have been lucky to find long term rental accommodations that suited me perfectly. The first was a smallish beachfront cabin I lived in for almost 8 years before the owner died and her heirs eventually decided to put the property on the market. There was NO rental increase during that period and all issues that arose - there weren't many - were promptly attended to.

My current residence is the bottom, "mother-in-law" unit of a private home. I have a private entrance, a private patio and garden area and plenty of room. My pets are welcome, my rent is the same as I paid previously but includes ALL utilities except for cable and Internet, so actually pencils out as several hundred dollars a month less overall. Part of the great rental price is due to my tending to my landlady's cat when she is out of town....which she is about 2 1/2 - 3 weeks out of each month.

As others have mentioned, advantages or disadvantages of renting will depend on the specific situation. And mine is petty much ideal for me! My landlady is elderly but in decent health (enough that she is able to leave town each month) and she is relieved to have her house occupied when she is away and that her beloved cat is properly taken care of (the cat moves in with me and my pets while she is gone). And she is very attentive to any repairs that need to be addressed. In fact, dishwasher is currently on the fritz but new part has been ordered and repairman should be along later today to install. And since she is gone so much, it is almost like I live here alone, which I really like as I am a very private person.

Renting may not be the best approach for everyone, but it works out perfectly for me.

A lot depends on the outlook for housing prices and when you think you might want to move again. If house prices are falling, it makes sense to rent. I know a number of people in my area -- where house prices are still 30% below pre-crash levels -- who want to move but are stuck with mortgages they can't cover while they're facing rising maintenance costs, taxes, etc. So they ask too much to cover their mortgage and the houses don't sell. This is esp tough on those who have lost their jobs and can't find other work in the area.

"ole joyful ... who rents a farmhouse at much less than he paid in a townhouse in the city, 12 years ago"

joyfulguy, if you're still living in the place you've described in the past, your out of town "bargain" isn't so much a case of good luck as it is your willingness (or financial need) to pay less but to get less. No?

your willingness (or financial need) to pay less but to get less.

In many apartments that are professionally managed, rent is rent, period. There are some amenities I don't need and would willingly trade them off for lower rent, but that isn't happening. I think OJ is so clever for saving money and finding exactly what he needs, and not paying for more stuff he doesn't.

I owned a place for a long time, but it was a fixer upper, and I spent much time and money fixing it up. If I buy a place again, which I may do in the next year or so, I want a place with minimal fix up. I thought I was in a secure rental after I sold the condo, and I had planned to stay there until I could get into a senior place, but a lawsuit ensued involving the property. The owner lost the property, and everyone had to get out. I got another place, a sweet deal, and I was able to save, but less than a year later the owner died, his widow sold the building, and the guy jacked up the rent. I really would like to own to avoid this state of flux, as rents in Chicago where I live are getting really outrageous.

Scott I hope you find a wonderful home. I too am apprehensive about sudden large rent spikes. But when I sold my home, property taxes were going up, and the city was about to substantially raise, almost double, its water fees. So maybe it is true that sometimes rent prices go up because of landlords that want the most from their investments (as everyone does), but it just as well might be that the landlord himself has higher taxes and costs and is passing at least some of them on to the renter.

I knew a man who lived most of his last 8 years on a cruise ship. (I think it was Holland America.) He was a widower and he and his DW had gone on many, many cruises around the world together, as they never had children, and adored travelling. In his last month or two of life, he became ill and a cousin took him in, until he passed away in Hospice. His cousin said that his elderly cousin had absolutely loved basically living on a cruise ship, and continuing to see the world for those 8 years, rather than living alone in a senior's building. Of course, one would have to have the finances to afford continuous cruising on a luxury liner!

We've seen two examples:

1) Senior homeowner, neighbor. Had been single mother, kids grown and gone. Sold the house - didn't need 4 bedrooms any longer - moved into apt complex. Her timing was perfect: home prices were rising. They rose a lot further, but what she got at the time was more than sufficient for her needs. Also, rents were reasonable and stable.

She rented for 8 yrs before moving to a senior residence hotel, where she
stayed another 7 yrs, quite happily. At the age of 91 her health began to fail and she moved to a nursing facility.

2) Senior homeowner, MIL. Widowed, house-rich/cash-poor. Sold home, moved in with us (DH is an only child). We discovered she had mild dementia, which slowly worsened over the next 7 yrs. Renting and living alone was not an option in this case.

In year 8 we moved her to a full service senior facility (she was age 84). Because of the house sale she had sufficient funds to live there for decades, if necessary. Facility buy-in was modest but monthly charges were market rate. She would not have had sufficient funds – nor would we have been able to provide them – if she had not sold the house on our advice.

++++

Our own situation is one of a wide variety of options. We investigated a wide range of senior facilities when looking on MIL's behalf, so we know what's available in our own area.

But there are new, for-profit senior facilities opening up in nearby towns, closer to our local family. We have yet to tour them. And of course we could choose to move out of state entirely if we wish.

We didn't buy a home until our mid-40's, so living in an apartment is very familiar to us (we loved it). Rents are high, but so is the cost of moving to a senior facility. Facilities also raise their prices every July 1st. Now, the increase is a more modest 2–4%; but every single facility we investigated, for- and non-profit, ANNUALLY raised their prices – without fail.

There is little point in our selling a SFH to buy another SFH. Tax-wise and price-wise, it makes little sense unless we are moving out of state. Besides, home maintenance is something we'd like less of – much less of, LOL.

So, our circumstances seem to point towards moving to a senior facility after selling our home. Which one is the big question we have to settle!

If you plan to move to assisted living, better look at the price tags now -- and the age and health eligibility requirements. These are not 'continuing care' -- they have no responsibility for residents beyond room and board. Monthly fees will rise. You better like living with a lot of old people.

We hope to remain in our free and clear, Senior-friendly home, hiring outside help as needed -- at least as long as we are a couple. I have become aware, though, that what seemed simple when I was 65, presents some unexpected hurdles at 75. Things change!

There are continuing care places that include independent, Assisted, and nursing home care. Most that I have looked at both here and in Minneapolis you have to do what they call a buy in. Lowest cost I saw when I was looking for my husband was $187K for a shared bedroom arrangement. On top of that there was a monthly fee that may or may not cover a certain number of meals a week. If not covered that is another expense. As you need more help that fee goes up. The way John Knox used to be one fee plus monthly payment was supposed to take care of you for life but no more. Few places will give prices but they are high. Think $200K+ for a small area.

Couple of things to be aware of in assisted living places is there may be a weight limit. 200 pounds in Missouri. If more than one person is needed to assist people are not eligible for assisted living. Many times couples go to assisted living then they will have to split up if one becomes too ill to help themselves. For us the nursing home is much less than assisted living would have been.

http://www.jkv.org/

https://www.walkermethodist.org/assisted-living-communities

I have some senior neighbors stay in their houses, they used reverse mortgage in order to stay in an area that has high property tax and school tax. With reverse mortgage they can stay in their homes as long as they want.

Be very careful with the reverse mortgages the draw is a flat amount. As those high taxes increase the draw may not cover them. As cost of living goes up unless the people that take them out bank part of that money in later years they may be in worse financial difficulty. If you live 20+ years after taking one out inflation makes the original amount cover less.

chisue, thank you. Yes, we're aware of the disadvantages. As for "living with a bunch of old people", it all depends on the facility. Every single one we researched had a very different social atmosphere. Certainly the one we picked for my MIL is not one we would live in ourselves.

But there were three facilities we researched where we would be happy to live. Very active, younger seniors; great cultural environments. The WWII/Lost Generation is dying off.

The oldest Boomers are now 72 yrs old and seniorcare managers are expecting big changes in a very few years. We had several interesting conversations with upper management execs at a couple of facilities about the differences between WWII senior expectations and Boomer expectations!

We're grateful we took the advice at a retirement forum 20 yrs ago and bought LTCi for ourselves. Due to legal classification it's better for us to look into Asst Lvg facilities rather than senior housing.

Those who are intending to rely on home healthcare should note that a study published recently found the largest price increases over the last 5 yrs were from home healthcare costs, due to increased demand and push for higher minimum wage levels.

My observation is that many people take reverse mortgages to continue living in The Wrong House. If it was appropriate for raising a family, it's now too big, unsafe for seniors, and *obviously* not affordable without an infusion of money. You take a big financial hit if you initiate a reverse mortgage only to realize belatedly that you are still in The Wrong House.

All care workers are currently underpaid. Whether you are an individual or a 'home', you are hiring from the same pool. I feel the same way about this as I do about SFH vs. Condo. *I* want to decide which person to hire, what I expect the person to do, and what I will pay -- as long as I am capable of making those decisions, with the help of family members.

Don't be too sure you will qualify to enter assisted living when you are 'older'. You may be *too old* to be accepted. Your portfolio may be judged too slim for the place to bet on your continuing payments. You should also expect changes when the place changes hands. These chains are big businesses that are bought and sold; they have shareholders to please.

Assisted living license standards aren't much more stringent than those for a B&B. Few public health departments have enough funding to inspect care-giving homes, let alone these room and board places.

I thought about this thread yesterday when a woman the same age as I am was complaining about the apartment she and her husband live in. The windows are so bad that there is ice on the inside around the entire frames, on the sill and going down the wall and she had pics to prove it. She lives in a good location, her rent is average for the area yet when she showed the pics and complained to the management company, their response was yeah, it’s cold outside. She says they’ll stay because no other place they’ve lived in has been much different....but at least since she rents, she doesn’t have to “deal” with the maintenance of a house.

Maybe your friend would be happier renting someone's house or condo of better quality construction? Or, moving to a newer apartment complex?

I'm not sure how this shifted to a discussion on assisted or senior living :-) But I do have some experience with this, having placed my mom in an assisted living community and having financed a large "senior retirement" corporation in my previous life as a commercial banker.

Senior retirement communities/complexes are those focused on able-bodied and generally healthy individuals above a certain age and just offer private apartments or cottages and various amenities tailored to seniors. They may or may not have communal dining facilities. Assisted living complexes offer additional services that make it easier for seniors that require some help to live semi-independently, including housekeeping, laundry, meals (if they want), monitoring of medicines, transportation and activities.

My mom's assisted living accommodation was an attractive one bedroom apartment furnished with her belongings and with a small kitchenette. She was able to have her small dog with her. She could take whatever meals she wanted in the communal dining room, with guests if she wished, or fix her own meals in her apartment (which she did for breakfast, not being much of a morning person :-))

There was NO age limit - the only qualifier was that one be in reasonable health, although mom did stay there for a short period even after she required more round the clock attention. One didn't even need to be ambulatory........just not bedridden. And there was no evaluation of any "portfolio" or savings - I paid her rent on a monthly basis, just as if she lived in any other type of rental unit. btw, ALL assisted living facilities in the US are regulated and inspected but they do vary in quality.

btw, she also had a reverse mortgage before she became too frail to live on her own. I realize those are not all approached similarly but the point of mom's was so that she had some ready cash available - really the house was her primary asset and her only income was Social Security. It was available as a line of credit she could access when and if she needed it. In the 10 years the reverse mortgage was present she drew on the LOC only a couple of times. So they are NOT just because the house is too big or in need of too many repairs....sometimes it is just to convert some equity into cash.

I state this only to offer some differing opinions from those previously expressed. A lot of broad generalities have been made which may or may not apply in all situations. And provides some erroneous information that may adversely impact one's decision to pursue these options. Research the options for yourself before taking advice like that from an online forum, which may not reflect very accurate information.

Gardengal makes a good point to research yourself concerning the conditions in your area. Her comment about her mother's LOC is a good one as most of the companies in this area do not offer that choice. In the group sessions I was in 5 of the companies that were available were discussed and none, 2009-2014 were mentioned as having other than flat payments either monthly or annually. Having looked for a place for us I noticed a vast difference between this area KCMO and Minneapolis where our niece wanted us to live in what housing was available and the way it would have been paid for.

I often use broad generalities just because things differ between individuals and their needs. Hoping to bring people to think rather than accept things as written in stone.

I think the best way is to have a family compound or an in law apt. You can stay with someone you trust. I can see that coming back in the future since senior living is so expensive. My previous backyard neighbors thought about apt living, but she hated living in a small space and it was expensive. So she and her husband stayed in their 5 bedroom house until she passed. They were wonderful people.

Unfortunately not all family members have their elders' best interests at heart, summersrhythm. There are many cases of elder abuse out there- you can't always trust your family.

Even if I had family I too have seen too much elder and other abuse by family members. If spousal abuse is as wide spread in all of its many versions think how much worse when those abusers have an elderly person to practice on.

Both elder and family abuse are tragic but I think you're overstating the prevalence of both.

A family compound is exactly what we have and I'll tell you why.

In 2008, my grandad was diagnosed with Alzheimers. He lived alone as my grandmother had passed a few years earlier. We all knew he would get to a point where he couldn't be alone. The breaking point was when he tried to make iced tea with bleach instead of water.

My parents moved into his house to care for him in 2010.

Two weeks later, my husband's grandma had a disturbing incident which made all of us realize she could clearly no longer live alone. My husband's parents who had recently retired moved in with her.

They lived with her until she died, she only spent the last few weeks of her life in a nursing home due to illness. She was 101 when she passed.

My grandad ended up ultimately having to be moved to a special Alzheimers ward in 2013 and he just passed last year. If my parents hadn't been willing and able to move in with him, he would have been in a nursing home or assisted living facility for far longer.

This sudden upheaval took an enormous toll on all of our parents which we witnessed first hand being the only children/closest relative on either side that also lived here.

We all decided we didn't want to have to go through that in 20 or 30 years when our parents were the elderly ones. I purchased my parents large home and we built a smaller home for them on our property.

We are close by, next door neighbors. Since we have done this now, when my parents do eventually get to the point where I need to be checking on them and helping to manage their care, it will be natural since they are already used to seeing me all the time.

Neither of us will ever have to be in the position of having to relocate our home. My husband and I have already taken over the maintenance of our large shared property.

It's a win win for all of us. Pooling our resources on one shared property is financially beneficial.

Multigenerational family living arrangements in close proximity works for some but not for others. It wouldn't work for us, neither with our own parents (several hundred miles away from whom we moved when in our 20s) nor with us with our kids (the majority of whom live thousands of miles away from us and will likely remain so).

The best relationships come from affinity, not proximity, and sometimes do much better WITHOUT proximity. We're very close with our kids, much more so than our friends seem to be with theirs. I think the distance helps.

Taxes_Gem, glad to hear family compound works for your family. We purchased a country property last year, it has 2 buildings, just over 6000 sq ft. We thought it could be a nice weekend home plus rental. And this Christmas we found out from a neighbor, it was built as a family compound (2nd building), but due to a divorce it was never used as a family compound. I think it would be nice all the family living together like in the good old days.

My daughter (only child of the family) jokes that when she's responsible for me and my siblings, she'll buy a big house and put up a fence high enough to turn a human. I tell her, add a couple border collies to keep us all in line and I'm in :-)

I don't know if this has been addressed but - if your health deteriorates or if you reach to be 90, do you really want to be getting an increase in rent that you can't afford and then be forced to move? Do you have family who will be able to help you manage that move?

We will own until we either die or choose to move into assisted living. The one thing we will avoid at all costs is being a burden to our two sons.

I've debated this for several years now. I thought about going back to an apartment and then went into a couple and instantly remembered by I disliked them enough to buy a house. I thought a condo might be a compromise until I started looking at the costs of HOA. People often forget about that little bill. For the HOA costs I can EASILY hire people to mow, repair and maintain and pocket the rest. I AM ready to move to a smaller place and smaller area but there's disadvantages to both of those too. I'm looking for the right place. Missed on a couple I wish I saw earlier but there's a lot of houses out there. I'm not desperate. I like the house I have so I'm not in a big rush. And considering the net cost of living here, that in itself is a big advantage.

One of the best things I did was to sit down and list the things you really like and dislike about your current living situation and over time, update it since priorities and likes change. Things you like about the place, things you dislike, things you wish you had and things you wish were different. Put priorities on them. One example for me is, over the years I've really found the value of an attached garage. Obviously an apartment and most if not all condos won't have this. So, would I give up having someone to call to come and fix a leak and hope they show up for the ability to walk to my vehicle in rain or snow and stay dry? List your costs/expenses. Consider what taxes would be, tax increases and assessments vs rent increases, etc. It can be very enlightening. Don't forget to include availability of bus/taxi service, proximity to stores, medical care, restaurants, etc. As I age, the importance of many of these change too.

I have been following this thread with interest as I am debating about senior apartment, condo, or look into townhouses. I live on a 160 acre farm and I'm getting to the point of wondering if I really want to continue with lawn work and upkeep. Plus the fact that I don't need or use the acreage. I plan on looking at apartments and other options in the spring. Another factor is how long it would take to sell my place.

cynic brings up some good points to consider.

marylmi, my goodness 160 acres! It would be lovely to have dirt bike trails! :-) Rent the acres out to the farmers, you'd have some extra income.

mary, any larger towns or cities nearby to consider that would give you access to more activities and stuff going on? Or maybe such things aren't of interest to you?

That's one of the trends of the current population of newly seniors, to reverse the migrations from earlier in life. From cities to suburbs when kids came along, then back to the cites for activities and services when retirement years come.

Summers rhythm,. I do lease out the hayfields but yes, lots of possibilities for someone younger.

• elmer, yes that is what I would like to do is move closer to town where I could be more involved, especially in the winter but summer too.. The city I would move to , while not huge- (about 10 or 11 thousand population) has plenty of activities going on that I miss out on because of weather leading to bad road conditions for me out in the country. I have a lot of investigating to do starting spring!

I do not know how prevalent they are in other sections of the country and builders may have stopped in this area but for a while patio homes that were connected in a pinwheel fashion were a hot item for seniors. They were basically houses connected with a common wall in the middle. Most had a driveway and a patio that were considered part of the residence and maintained by the resident. Surrounding areas were maintained by property management. Most were in areas where a developer did both purchase and rental properties although I have never seen a rental patio home in any of the developments that my husband drug me to.

Had to look up the term "patio home", that was a new one to me. If those are built in my area, I think they're called condos or duplexes. Duplexes aren't usually part of a common area association but there are neighborhoods with blocks of the same construction. A senior community is a particular type of development (of course) and I guess the construction could be in that style, it's not something I've ever looked in to or been to.

These are not as such senior communities although for some you have to be a certain age. The ones that are closest to me as I stated are built in a pinwheel design. They added some last summer but before that they were 3 to 5 single story dwellings that were attached. In some areas of the country they could be called a townhome except most of those in this area are two story. They used to start at $325K were part of a development done by Garney and Company. There are other lower quality ones sprinkled in some of the suburbs. The type of home I am talking about seldom come on the market as most are very nice.

I'm sure terminology differs from place to place. In my area, the word "townhouse" suggests more than one level (two or three) and relates to newer construction in condo form. With or without common walls. In other parts of the country, "townhouse" can be used sometimes to mean "row house" as on the East Coast where, especially in cities, there are single owner urban structures of several levels, with common walls, that can be a hundred or more years old.

I think the patio homes come closest to what we call condos whether they are one or two story. Haven't seen them in a pinwheel pattern but their back patios do often back onto a landscaped common use area. In California the real estate people like to use townhouse as a descriptive term for a two story condo but it's still really a condo.

Duplexes and triplexes are generally built in straight lines and have their own fenced backyards. At least all the ones I've seen. I suppose in some cases they may leave the dividing fence off to make the yard bigger.

Marylmi, if you move closer to town, the houses would be close to each other, you’d have a lot of noisy neighbors, plus it’s not as quiet as countryside, people mow their lawns twice a week ( have nothing to do), We purchased a country property as a weekend home last year. What a big difference. It’s so quiet and peaceful in the country.

"people mow their lawns twice a week ( have nothing to do)"

This says it all, to reach the opposite conclusion of what you're suggesting.

Elmer, I like country living, hate the lawn mower noise in the suburb. My suggesting is stay in the country.

Marylmi, check out this thread: https://www.gardenweb.com/discussions/5086093/wrong-move?n=7

Here is another idea, if your kids are nearby, build a family compound. So you have family with you 24/7. :-)

Summersrhythm, I love the country too. Lots of pro's and con's for sure.