Over anxious daughter

6 years ago

My daughter is a wonderful mum to her three young children, although an anxious and sometimes stressy one. I live interstate and see them 2-3 times a year, and have a great relationship with my gc and son in law and daughter. I pitch in and help as much as possible when visiting and don't interfere with parenting. My only problem is that I'm often being disciplined by daughter in dealing with the children, unreasonably....I bite my tongue for a while and then we have a spat! I tell her she needs to chill a little, as does her hubby. It's then I feel like not putting myself in that situation....which is sad because I have so little time with them. Does anyone else experience this and how would you deal with it?! Really appreciated!

Sort by:Oldest

Comments (5)

colleenoz
6 years ago
Before commenting, may I clarify:

What exactly do you mean by "I'm often being disciplined by daughter in dealing with the children"?
Sylvia Gordon
6 years ago
I don't know, she doesn't sound like a loving caring person to me. She sounds like a punitive person who is scapegoating her mother. Just the fact that you use the word discipline to describe her behavior Sims indicative of her stance and of your position. I my own self would be tempted to stay at home and email or Skype to the children and send cards, letters, and presents to the children. I wish you the best.
Related Discussions
feeling anxious
Q
Comments (8)
Probably for the best. For his next appointment make sure he doesn't eat anything past midnight. Don't let them give him any shots at the same time as the neuter. My vet gave my little male kitten a leukemia booster while he was getting neutered, then a couple days after his surgery my little guy got sick and he went 2 days without eating or drinking. I had to force feed him baby food mixed with water the third day. By the fourth day he was finally eating on his own again (if not he would have been at the vet's office). From what I read online the neutering causes a lot of inflammation which starts a couple days later... adding immunizations to that causes even more issues. Just sharing my experience. I'm sure Bat will do fine.
...See More
I am so anxious....
Q
Comments (22)
These ads are brought to you by various out-of-state interests that don't care one bit about Michigan or Minnesota or South Dakota or Ohio except that the states have open US House or US Senate seats that they feel they can buy. They probably couldn't even find the states on a map unless one of them happens to be somewhere they want to put a pipeline or a mine. The worst of it is, the supreme court has approved this unlimited, untraceable, out-of-state money and the wholesale bribery it engenders. I wondered for years why the most vile and unforgivable characteristic a candidate could possess is being a "Flip-Flopper". Which seems to mean someone who would carefully weigh the facts and the surrounding circumstances related to a issue before deciding how to vote on that issue, and if the facts or circumstances change in a significant way then they might decide differently. However I recently realized that if you are shopping for some candidate who believes as you do on a given issue and you then "buy" that candidate by funneling millions to their campaign, and then once they are elected the facts or circumstances change and they vote the other way, well you've lost your "invested" millions that you otherwise could have used to buy another yacht or an island. And that's unforgivable. I apologize to you all for yet another lengthy rant. I too am anxious for the elections to be over, and the annoying ads to end, but I have no hopes that the elections will change anything.
...See More
Want to buy a starter set for my adult daughter in law and daughter.
Q
Comments (5)
Yes, crocheting is probably easier to learn and you don't have to worry about dropping stitches. But I beg you, please don't waste your money on either of those "kits". The one that has 8 "bon bons" gives you about 66 yards per bon bon. And you'll get even less per bon bon for the kit with 24 bon bons. Less than 22 yards, a mere third of the 8 bon bon kit. They would be lucky to crochet a 3" x 3" swatch with one of those. I crocheted this swatch with 66 yards of worsted weight, which is just a teensy bit finer than the DK provided in the kit and an "H" hook. It's about 5" x 7". I crocheted this piece with 66 yards of worsted weight and a "J" hook, like one provided in the kit. It's about 4" x 8". Neither of those pieces is enough to make anything. And I looked at the ebooks they provide in the kit. The only patterns you will get are for children. You would be much better off picking up a 4 ounce (or even larger) skein of worsted weight or DK yarn (maybe a variegated) and a couple of hooks (I'd suggest G & H) and a book that will actually teach them to crochet. You can purchase an inexpensive book that will give them the basics of crocheting. Don't bother with a book of patterns just yet. There are so many free patterns online. Have them learn to chain, single crochet double crochet, and half-double crochet. Let them start off making a chain as wide as they would like a scarf and just go to town, back and forth with either the single, double, or half-double stitch. One hefty skein will be more than enough to make a scarf. Seriously, look at the size of a bon bon. That's not a tightly wound ball of yarn. It's a puff of yarn. That hand could probably compress it to less than half its size. I'm sorry to be a Debbie Downer, but even at half the price, it's a waste of money. And I DO hope the girls learn to crochet or knit and LOVE whichever you choose.
...See More
Anxious about being the noisy upstairs neighbour
Q
Comments (6)
Is your cat meowing incessantly and loudly? Has he had a check up lately- my cat had this thing of running around in an agitated way and yowling weirdly and then he was diagnosed hyperthyroid and put on low starting dose of methimzole He was still doing it but not quite as bad but then recently he had another check, his dose raised slightly and - he's like a new cat. Very mellow, meows only in a normal tone of voice for dinner. 9 is about the age they start developing thyroid problems - extremely common in cats. I regret not having gotten him diagnosed sooner - or his buddy who died recently of thyroid cancer. He too had subtle symptoms that didnt quite match up with whats typical - by the time it got serious and he was diagnosed it was kinda too late - if it goes on for a long time the tumor can turn into aggressive cancer and thats what happened to my poor boy. So thats why Im kind of on a crusade to raise awareness of the importance of getting routine checks for senior cats. Another strong possibility - your cat is bored at night and has learned what will get you up and playing with him! So happy for you you have a nice neighbor - treasure him!
...See More
colleenoz
6 years ago
Yeah, I've been mulling this one over in my mind and I can't think of anything you could do or say that might change things without causing your daughter to flip out. She sounds like a real control freak to me.

As Sylvia says, in your shoes I would just not visit, but otherwise keep all the lines of communication open. If pressed by her as to why you don't visit, you could just say you don't like to be a bother. Let them come to you.
dowlinggram
6 years ago
You are the grandmother not the mother. It is different dealing with grandchildren than it is your own children. When dealing with grandchildren you must follow the children's parents rules. Think back to when your daughter was small. Would you have appreciated someone telling you what you should do or correcting your child and not following your rules? Of course you wouldn't have. If you have a concern talk to your daughter when the children are not present. Don't put it as an ultimatum but as something to think about.

Have you ever given your daughter praise when you think she is doing something right? I praise my son and DIL for doing what I consider a good job and I praise others when I see well behaved children. Being a parent is hard and you are not often given credit for the job you are doing. A beaming smile is my reward for telling it how it is.
colleenoz
6 years ago
Dowlinggram, for some reason Katherine's reply to my question has disappeared. In it she explained what happens, and your reply has no relevance in this situation. Katherine makes no comment about her daughter's child rearing and only finds out what the rules are after she's "transgressed"- and I must say, they're rules no normal person would have thought of. Then she gets read the riot act.

Over anxious daughter

Comments (5)

colleenoz

Sylvia Gordon

Related Discussions

colleenoz

dowlinggram

colleenoz

COMPANY

BUSINESS SERVICES

GET HELP

CONNECT WITH US