I just watched Babette's Feast last night, due to the recommendations on this forum. Wow. It's way more than a food movie. It's very deep. It'll have me thinking about it for a long time. I just read some of the history that surrounded it, which explained much about what was going on. Thanks for the recommendation, (even if I was a little slow to act on it.) Sally

Sounds interesting. I love Bryan Cranston back from his "Malcolm" days and of course "breaking bad". It's a really close tie to me between BB and Game of Thrones as to which is the better show, but I gotta say nothing so far has compared to the BB finale. We did sign up for HBO now just to watch GoT, and haven't explored it much. But this sounds like a movie I would enjoy. I was just a tot when LBJ was president and I know my parents didn't like him, as they were Republicans.

I am sorry you are so tired and worried. Sounds like you have a lot on your plate. Your question is how to deal with this without blowing up at your DIL and DS. First and most important, go get counseling yourself or with your husband. The counselor will help you figure out how to set boundaries and how much to give of yourselves. Second, take time to exercise, get plenty of sleep and eat healthy foods. That old adage about flying with children...put the oxygen mask on your own face first so you can help them with theirs.... You will be able to do more for the children in the long run if you stay healthy. Third, your grandchildren have 2 loving grandparents who live next door, a nanny, and 2 parents. They have a network of people. Their love network doesn't look like what you wish for them but they have one. They are loved, they are cared for. Stop focusing on what they don't have and start looking at what they do have. I'm not there, you are, and your concerns may be entirely or partially valid. Having said that, they are 5 and 2. Soon the 5 year old will be more and more involved in school, activities, etc. The 5 year old will go to school all day, then have music lessons, sports activities, friends over, etc. That doesn't mean she won't need you or her parents, but she will be busy. The money your DIL makes will come in very handy for college, extracurricular activities, etc. As the grandkids get older you probably won't be needed nearly as much and that time is probably closer than you think. When that time comes, if you have damaged your relationship with your DS and DIL you will wish you hadn't. Also you may find that your DIL is better with the children as they get older. The comment about DIL not allowing anyone else in the family to be a leader in the family is not germane to this discussion. Your son could still have tea parties with his kids, take them camping, build block towers, bake cookies with them, play soccer in the yard. DIL is not stopping him from that. Stop letting those leadership thoughts live rent free in your head. As you said yourself, your son could make different choices, he doesn't, and that's on him, not his wife. I don't know, only you do, so I could be very wrong. I suspect you are enabling your son. I think that because you said he was checking his phone a lot during the day. If he was at home with the grandkids, were you over there taking care of them? There is a fine line between supporting and enabling and a good counselor will help you figure out if you have strayed over into enabling territory. A counselor can help you figure out if part of this is because the family doesn't look like what you expect with your DIL running a demanding business. My husband was building a business when our children were 5 and 2. He would have went on an 11 day trip, returned and went to work the next day and no one would have thought anything about it. He worked long hours then 6 days a week, and on Sunday went to church, came home and napped. He came home every night, gave the kids a bath, ate something and went back to work. This is a tough time for a young family and sometimes that can spill over onto the grandparents. I'm not dismissing your concerns or saying you're wrong. Just one glance at my husband with his little kids and even a total stranger could tell he treasured them, enjoyed them, loved them with his every breath. It's probably not the trip that concerned you but the way your son and DIL interact with their kids when they're present. The generosity issue is a good one to bring up in counseling. I'm not sure why you would want your DS and DIL to be financially generous with you. You have stressed that material things are not your focus, that you make decent money, so not sure why you feel a loss if they don't give you expensive gifts. Perhaps because your DS and DIL give expensive gifts to people they value and you feel not valued. A counselor could help you learn to let that go. Invest in exercise, getting plenty of sleep, eating healthy and counseling. That time will be well spent, and the sooner the better. It may take time to find a good counselor who is the right match for you, so get started now. You may have to try more than one. I hope you find something that helps. Best of luck with your grandchildren.

I loved Hidden Figures (saw it last weekend). Awesome movie. I'd consider A Dog's Purpose, the trailer looks great. Even though I am a cat person. I know nothing about The Comedian. No desire to see LaLa - I don't like movies about show biz, but that may stem from a school roommate years ago who played the soundtrack for "Funny -- ha ha - Girl" about 50 times a day, and I was too much a milquetoast to break the dang thing. To this day: if the topic is show biz... I'm so outta there you won't ever even see the dust trail!