Yet another gift question--joint B-day party

7 years ago

I've been invited to a friend's 50th birthday party. She and a friend with the same (or close) birthday are throwing themselves a joint party. I've never met her friend.

I know what I'm getting my friend. But what do I get the co-honoree? Am I obligated to get her anything? It seems tacky not to, but I've never met her.

I suspect a lot of guests will be in the same boat, and it won't be weird to get something personal and substantial for my friend, and something token and generic for the co-honoree. What do you guys think?

And in the universe of token and generic birthday gifts, what do you suggest? At my own recent birthday party, I can tell you that I received wine, champagne, and flowers, particularly orchids, in abundance. I got more wine than I am likely to drink in 5 years, and more champagne than I'm likely to drink ever, so I don't think I'd go that route. What do you give under such circumstances? Maybe I'll make candied nuts and put them in something useful and decorative.

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Olychick

7 years ago

last modified: 7 years ago

A nice card wishing her a happy birthday and some words about sharing your good mutual friend and being able to celebrate with them both. I wouldn't want a gift from someone who doesn't know me, or me them, and I can't imagine anyone being offended that you just give a gift to your own friend.

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Comments (10)

Fun2BHere
7 years ago
I'm surprised that the invitation doesn't specify no gifts. I think I would give my friend the more substantial gift at a different time and skip any gift giving at the party. Do you think they will actually open gifts at the party?
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eld6161
7 years ago
I have never heard of such a thing. Yes, they should have specified no gifts. That they were celebrating this milestone and wanted it to be all about friendships and important women in their lives. (I'm assuming this is a ladies event?)

I like Oly's idea of a card with a few heartfelt words. It feels odd to me to give an actual gift to someone I never met.
morz8 - Washington Coast
7 years ago
last modified: 7 years ago
I've been 'half the honored' at a joint birthday party many times. I share a birthday with my SILs second husband. For several years, I didn't know his/their friends well. It's a dinner party without emphasis on gifts, but cards (always) and something simple (sometimes) like a gardeners hand lotion, or book, have been presented to me from the 'other side'. I found that thoughtful without being overboard, in no way expecting more or different from people I was spending an evening with, socialize with only in group settings and not on a closely personal level.

I used to work with this man, and always shared 'my' cake with him at the office on our birthday. Now I find myself still sharing my birthday with him all these years later ;0)
cawaps
Original Author
7 years ago
Thanks for the responses.

When I had my 50th birthday party, I wasn't thinking about gifts at all, so it didn't occur to me to write "no gifts" on the invite. But judging from the number of gifts I received, most people think a gift is obligatory for a birthday party, no matter the age. I suspect that my friend's situation is similar--she didn't write "no gifts" because she's thinking "party," not "birthday." The guest list is expansive, not just "ladies." Family, friends, husbands, kids are all invited. Come to think of it, gifts may be completely overwhelming.

Nonetheless, I did get something for my friend, so I will do at least a card, and maybe a token gift, for her friend as well. The evite had a slide show of the two of them going back to 1987. It was very cute and sweet.
carolb_w_fl_coastal_9b
7 years ago
last modified: 7 years ago
I would bring cards for both to the party and either send or hand deliver the separate gift to my friend either before or afterwards as a surprise.

OTOH, you might enclose a gift card in the birthday card to the friend...
MtnRdRedux
7 years ago
I agree w Carol.

At first I was going to say, 50 scratch off lottery tickets, my go to for strangers bday, but I think nothing.
sushipup1
7 years ago
You are not expected to give a gift to a stranger. A card is nice, but not a gift.
joaniepoanie
7 years ago
I would just bring a gift to my friend. I don't think a gift or card is necessary for the stranger. I would find it odd to to receive a card or gift from soneone I didn't know at a birthday party.
yeonassky
7 years ago
I would bring something for the party, wine perhaps and a card, and call that your gift to the stranger. Then give your friend her gift when the chance arises.

Yet another gift question--joint B-day party

Olychick

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Fun2BHere

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eld6161

morz8 - Washington Coast

cawaps
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carolb_w_fl_coastal_9b

MtnRdRedux

sushipup1

joaniepoanie

yeonassky

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Yet another gift question--joint B-day party

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cawapsOriginal Author

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cawaps
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