I won't be of much help

we use the "formal" dining room as an everyday dining room. I do love to entertain-like, really love-even though last two years were hard in that regard..

we have this breakfast nook space on the other side of the kitchen, kinda part of the family room-but we never used it as such. We put there book shelves since I'm perfectly fine with eating every meal at one table, and also desperately lack space for books

Next house is so small I won't have any dilemmas at all))

I like every space to be pretty and special yet informal enough, so people would love to linger and feel at home. And they usually do. But. They bring their own cooking creations as well lol, if it's a big party. I suspect you're much better cook than me, even though I had some success with certain dishes I love and make for years.

I never had a formal living or dining or dedicated family room until this current house..so I might be influenced by this experience

When we hosted and I was a little girl-I do remember the magic of it..white tablecloth, special bohemian glass, silver sugar pot...everything seemed different and elevated..

We did usually ate in the kitchen though. So moving to the room itself signaled a special occasion.

Wow so many memories..

Only you can really say how you are actually using your home.

If you are not really using the formal dining room, than it's a no brainer. I suspect though that it would be difficult to get rid of your parent's dining set which is why you are asking us this question.

Perhaps it would help if you actually LIKED your DR furniture?

My formal dining room is used for eating 1-2 times a year; the rest of the time that massive table is used for crafts or games or sorting girl scout cookies. You should use that room. If you aren't eating in it, do something else with it!

Fortunately (or unfortunately--I can't decide), nice vintage dining sets are cheap. If you sell your current set and change your mind later, you'll be able to replace the one you don't really like with something that you do like and that fits your space.

In my last house, I turned the breakfast room off the kitchen into a television watching and reading room with a love seat and bookshelves. You should use your house the way it works best for you and remember that a china cabinet can house almost anything...books, quilts, towels, crafting supplies, etc. You may need to add glass-obscuring film or fabric if the items you want to house are unsightly and you have glass doors.

pinkmountain, I think if you're only just talking with your SO now about how to combine things, I would take advantage of the holiday season to have people over and see what works for you and what doesn't, and then talk again afterward to see what you think. For some dinners, use the table by the kitchen, for others use the dining room. And maybe vary the furniture in the dining room, too.

I don't dislike the dining room table, it is just the irony of having three tables for eating at in the house that is kind of making me go "hmmmmm." Perhaps some photos are in order. The house I live in now has the kitchen basically in the middle of the house. On one side of the kitchen is an "open concept" are with a bar/countertop, eating area, and then that opens up into a family room. That's where we basically relax and live. Then, on the other side, there is a pretty much useless "parlor" area that you come into when you come in the front door, and that leads to the formal dining room which is on the other side of the kitchen. Right now the parlor is in somewhat of disarray, but it was mom's reading room and where we entertain a visitor who is maybe not staying long. It will probably remain a reading room/parlor since it is so small. There is a den in the house, which I will use for my office and sewing room, but I am an inveterate project person. I wish I could make the dining room into a "garden room" but the whole house is just so darn dark you can hardly get any indoor plants to grow.

Sadly, I don't have a photo of the dining room! Edited to add that a lot of this has come about because I don't want a huge TV in the family room space but it would work in the dining room. A good TV is very important to SO but I am quite adamant about it not having a prominent space in our living area. I can also make the guest bedroom into a TV room, so the other issue of just having a lot of house space devoted to dining tables also does come into play.

(yes, I can see you're a great hostess..I suddenly became hungry)) Are these deviled eggs? my favorites!)

ok..took me some time to understand what is where. what's really influencing me-your words about huge TV..yep, I'd be ready to sacrifice a lot of things as not to have it in the living..totally with you on that..

Agree with Fun2BHere about multi-purposeness (I hope I spell it right) of the china cabinets..maybe it can go somewhere else?

As for the plants..have you thought about adding a skylight maybe..? the house seems light on the pics btw, but you know it better.

I'm mentally preparing myself for our new home..I think the orchids won't be happy..

LOL, not deviled eggs, Valentine's Day frosted butter cookies! (I got them at an awesome local bakery that specializes in them, I am not that great of a cook). It was my late mother who was the great hostess and since I have inherited all her things, I try to entertain in a gracious way every once and a while in honor of her.

These were the only pictures I had of the house right now. I corrupted my camera card and lost a lot of the more current ones. Will take a photo of the dining room tonight when I get it all decorated for Christmas. It's hard to show the odd layout of this house I have inherited. It's basically divided into two sides by the kitchen. You come into the house and you see a wall around the back side of the kitchen and then the kitchen is open on the left and right sides, one to the open concept "great room" and the other to the dining room through a doorway, and the dining room connects to the "front room" parlor. If you're on one side of the house you can't see or hear what is going on in the other. And the whole place is just dark from shade and orientation, (most of the rooms in the house face north and the north side has a covered porch all along it to further shade it. Great in the hot summers but a tad dreary in the winter.) My folks struggled with how to manage that all the while they were living here. It looks light because I have lights on and used a flash. The back side of the house opens to the porch and the backyard. We live out on the porch in the summer and both the dining room and great room open to the porch via french doors.

I've entertained during both summer and winter, and during the summer we ate out on the porch and I had a picnic buffet with the main courses in the family dining area and the desserts and bar all dolled up in the dining room and then both doorways open to the porch. That was fabulous. In the colder months, we "retire" to the dining room to eat and then you might sit there for a while after dinner to talk and drink wine, but you're basically stuck in this small room, and if someone wants to leave the table, they have to leave the room and go to another whole part of the house. It's not that big of a deal, I usually herd everyone back into the family room for tea and dessert so this is really just splitting hairs, but I also do tons of projects, from canning and gardening to quilting and other natural crafts and I have an office with tons of books and supplies that I use for science teaching, so trying to parse out where I can carry on those tasks.

We sometimes turn the dining room into "project central" as I'm sure others do, but there is often mission creep on that, when the project drags on for months and the room gets messy and then all of a sudden you need to use it for a dinner party . . . I'm trying to parse storage which is limited, of all my project items to the rooms where I might actually do the projects. But I guess having FOUR living room areas is no worse than having THREE dining room areas. SO's need for a room where he can watch his big screen TV can be met in many ways. In our old house we had it in a guest bedroom.

For me the determining factor would be, is there a better use for this space?

For instance, I have 3 eating areas in my small house, but each is the best use for the space, and get used. The previous owners of my house used the dining area as an extension of the living room, because they had 3 people in a small house, as opposed to just me living there. My mom on the other hand converted her dining room into a den/office because the room is cozier than the other living areas, and she spends most of her time there.

So if you will get more use out of the room if you convert it, then go for it. If it will just sit unused, then no real point of changing it.

If it's large enough for a few chairs and a nice tv., go for it. You can always use a fold up table to serve buffets. I would eliminate the dining room if it gets such little use.

I think: leave it..you sound too fond of it..and give it some double function maybe so it's used more..which you occasionally do anyway...can your den be turned into a TV room? or a guest bedroom? you mentioned it-but do you like this idea?

(Personally I'd be grateful to be on the other side of the house when I need to leave the table..as opposed to opening powder room door two feet away from where everyone eats..so as a guest-I'd see it as a bonus lol)

I'd think about sound from the tv carrying into the kitchen/other living areas. A guest room to tv den conversion with a door to help buffer sound may be the most sensible idea.

I was thinking we could have a smaller tv in the family room, I would be OK with that. But SO is adamant that he wants a big one and I am adamant that I don't want a large TV footprint in the most used living area of the great room, I find it very jarring.

So here you can see the dining room. The idea is we would put our futon where the two armchairs are, and the TV could go on the wall above the commode where the sand dune picture is now. I like the dining room but you can see how it is closed off from the other rooms. In the summer it isn't so bad because the room opens on one end to the porch. I am still trying to figure out what to do with the french doors in the winter when they become a big black hole every evening since it gets dark so early. The blue carpet and vertical blinds will go no matter what we do with the room. SO is planning on installing a wood floor in there. You can see the hallway leading to the little parlor too. Another thing I am noticing is because we have a gas fireplace in the great room, I tend to want to eat in there in the evenings because it is cozier. But other times of the year it is nice to doll up the dining room, as you can see in this photo from a dinner party I had last year at Hannukah,

I think wood floors and drapes you love will make it even more special to you. which might make you more reluctant to turn it into the TV room..:)

how big is the TV? because recently I learned 32 inch is considered small..:)

(The plan does make sense to me..it's a formal part of the house..small parlor, then dining..frankly, I'd want to lounge closer to kitchen and stuff lol...also, more inside the house, where I'm less seen..if it makes sense..but everybody's so different.

next house, i'm making the "formal" living into the library-TV room..I can't bear TV right in front of the entrance, and I like some separation too, and the "formal" space is long-nice size for bookshelves and all...but I know that I'm sacrificing this closeness to the kitchen and dining..the lounging will be less loungy so to say..not the amazing layout we have now..also it will be right off the entrance but to the left side..upon entering the TV won't be seen..but I'll be seen, watching that TV lol..and the window there is hard to dress, well, relatively

on the other hand..people will always use rooms where food and entertainment is. wherever they are. I learned as much. My guests rarely leave the dining at all)) But we also come from that kitchen culture..eat in kitchen where you can sit all night and talk..

unless it's a really big party, when people form groups, and dance, and some stay overnight-they all just stay sitting in their chairs, can spend hours like that. Just talking and talking. Amazing. Luckily (in that regard) next house is smaller, living and dining is very close..I'm thinking to lure them to the couch with drinks or something..:)

(why I'm so amazed I don't know since I sit myself so much in this dining room talking and talking..I mean, typing and typing..:)

I'm confused as to the dilemma. Is SO moving in? Are you moving to a different house? Is he bringing anything besides a big tv?

We entertain, but we're very informal kind of people. The old house had a separate dining room and we had to put a lot of effort into getting people to use it. Our friends would just congregate in the kitchen/family room and forget the dining room was there. The new house has 1 table area next to the kitchen, but it's open concept. Our daily meals are eaten at the kitchen island. And we've already used our table more in 1 year in this house than we did in 13 years at the old house.

It sounds to me like you could use your kitchen eating area for large gatherings and put the tv in the "dining room". You just then have to decide what to do with the furniture?

A sketch of the overall layout might be really helpful. We could then visualize your space and brainstorm making the layout work a little easier. But, yes, by all means make your home work for the way you really live day in and day out.

Sometimes things from our relatives are important to us to keep, but it's okay if they are not. My dad was in the (long) process of fixing up a boat to take our kids fishing when he passed away. We decided not to keep the boat. As much as we loved my dad, the boat was his dream, not ours. DH wisely observed that the time we spent trying to finish Dad's dream was time that we wouldn't be using to pursue our own dreams, and there is only so much time to go around. That decision will probably work out a little differently for each person.

We did a lot of flip flopping of spaces when we moved in to this house until we found what worked best for our family. The "dining room" was way too small, since it was only the size of a breakfast room, about 8.5' x 8.5'; that became our library with a tiny table just big enough for four people.

The big, beautiful space at the front of the house that the previous owners used as their living room became our family dining area. There are 9 of us and we eat almost all of our meals together at home, so having room for everyone to eat comfortably was important to us. We also built a pair of closets into the dining room for much needed storage.

We kept the family room at the back of our house as our only living room and it includes the tv. We also tucked a small sitting area with two comfortable chairs in the bay windows of the dining room, so there still is a quiet place to get away from the tv or conversation in the living room. It's working pretty well for us.

Well, we're trying to figure out what SO will be bringing. Right now he is focused on his honkin' big TV and the cabinet that he got for it. I thought we would get a "modest" size flat screen TV and put it between the windows in the great room, but yes, I now have been told that 40 inches for a TV is too small. In his defense, watching movies and sports on the TV is a big hobby for SO. I am OK with watching whatever I want to watch on a smaller screen, but it is an area where we are going to have to compromise. In our last house, we had the big TV in a guest room which was SO's "man cave" and we can do that here as well. I'm not sure how long we will be in this house. Right now I am living there part time as I continue to sort through mom's things. I actually like a lot of her things but I am still parsing what I will use and not use. I've already sorted out a lot of the dishes and kitchen and dining room things. I'm just trying to figure out how to get more utility out of every room in this small house, and with that dining table in there, it seems hard to figure out how to use the room for other purposes. I had a small office corner in my dining room in my last house, but this dining room is really too small for that in any kind of meaningful way. Right now the commode has linens in it with tea stuff on top of it, and the small dresser between the two arm chairs has scarves, gloves, hats, etc. in it, with wine stuff on top of it.

I think making a drawing of my home layout might be beyond my skill set, although somewhere I think mom has a copy of one but not sure I have time to find it.

Laughablemoments, you kind of hit the nail on the head with what this little "parlor" is in the front of the house. With most of the other living space being "open concept" I think the intention with that small parlor was that it would be the quiet get away space, and I know mom used it for her quiet reading space.

The sketch wouldn't have to be to scale or anything fancy. Just a series of boxes with labels as to which rooms are what, where the porches are, and maybe where the approx window and door openings land in the walls, but even those are optional. : )

I have a big holiday thing at work coming up that I am in charge of so it will be next week before I could get anything scanned and posted.