Ladies, thank you so much for responding and sharing all your great ideas. To update, the party was held on the 20th, and it was a well attended, casual affair. (roughly 65 people, nicely spaced out over 4 hours) I used regular blank invitations, and wrote that my sister and myself were hosting a party for their (70th!) and (75th!) birthdays on such and such date, time and place, as well as letting them know it was "come and go". I gave people my email address and my sister's phone number to contact if they needed specific directions. Then I enclosed a second note that said "We hope to see you there, but if you are unable to attend we know R--- and S--- would enjoy hearing from you with a card or note." (pretty much what Texas Red Head suggested.) Keeping in mind lindac's suggestion that "no gifts" implies you expected one in the first place, I didn't write "no gifts", but that also worked out well, as almost everyone brought a card instead. Actually, the only people who brought gifts were a few of my mother's oldest friends (her traveling buddies) who arrived in a group toward the end of the day. In fact, by the time Mom opened her gifts they were the only other people there besides family, so it worked out fine. I also took to heart what sherrman wrote and made surethey waited to open cards until after we'd cleaned up and were having coffee. Considering they had roughly 60+ cards to open, that was a geat idea. We'd made a video/DVD thing of old family pictures of both of them, and had contacted relatives some time ago looking for pictures. They've been married for the last ten years, and there were pictures of each other that neither had seen, so it was a great surprise. FWIW, we mixed them all up, his and hers, and nothing was in chronological order; we didn't want it to come across as one of those "This was your life" slide shows that are so popular at funerals. The little DVD was about 12 to 15 minutes long on a continuous loop, and yes, people stood around watching, and laughing and saying "I remember that!" it was terrific ice breaker. As guests were leaving, I had them stop briefly out front so T could take a quick picture. Everyone received a print of themselves looking relaxed and happy, and Mom and her husband got pictures of all their guests without annoying anyone during the party by having them stop and pose. It was just a very nice party, and again, I can't thank you all enough for your insight and advice. You're (all) the best. Melody

First of all, congratulations! I agree with lindac; try to avoid putting "adults only" on the invitation. Start by having an invitation that looks adult-y, if you know what I mean. It's not that it's an etiquette no-no -- I mean, so is "no gifts please," but I think it's really the only way we feel comfortable giving parties for ourselves, so IMHO it's okay in your case. But "adults only" has a different feel to me (unwelcoming as opposed to unselfish) and I am guessing to you, too, because you're asking. If you are part of a crowd that typically includes the kids, people may still assume that this party is no exception. So what to do? I'd want to know how many families are invited total and how many might bring kids. They're all your good friends, right? So I'd just talk to or email each of them separately, preferably when you're contacting them about something else anyway. Make sure it doesn't sound like you don't like THEIR kids particularly. Just say something like, "By the way, this time it's just going to be the 'grown-ups,' so I want to give you a heads-up so you have time to get a sitter for Thusnelda and Mortimer." If someone asks, "But can't I bring Thusnelda? She won't be any trouble," you can say, "I'd love to have her, and of course she's always an angel, but I already told a bunch of people that this time we aren't having kids, and they will have fits if they come and see Thusnelda there, so please help me out, won't you? Thanks!" Don't worry about the fact that your own kids will be there. Of course they will; no one is going to find that strange or unfair. I like LindaC's idea of a note instead of an invitation, but it depends on how many you're inviting.

Just please, please be sure that the invitation is CLEAR. I have gotten invitations that were so "creatively" worded that I couldn't figure out to what I was being invited. Make sure your guests know you are inviting them to see you get married, not just to watch the surf meet the sand or "begin your new life together" or "celebrate your love" or something like that -- without having to read the invitation 3 times. YOU know it's a wedding, but a reader might wonder if it's just a reception or engagement party or something. You could have it both ways, actually. Have whatever you want about surf and sand at the top, perhaps in a larger and "beachier" font, and then follow with the details (xxxx surf meets the sand xxxx/ [space] / Please join us as we are married / date / time / place / Jane Doe and John Roe Congratulations!

In my eyes, "At Last" refers to the fact that the (non) hosts are finally able to invite family to celebrate the marriage. For those who are unfamiliar with the song, here are the lyrics: At last my love has come along My lonely days are over and life is like a song, oh yeah At last the skies above are blue My heart was wrapped up clover the night I looked at you I found a dream that I could speak to A dream that I can call my own I found a thrill to press my cheek to A thrill I've never known, oh yeah You smiled, you smiled oh and then the spell was cast And here we are in Heaven For you are mine at last