What a nice thing you are doing for your mother! I agree, you want to avoid being too wordy, as the information you really need people to know can get lost in there. And you do have some extra info for this event. But that also happens with clever, cute, or original wording, too. So don't go overboard there, either. After all, it's about the party, not the invitation. I might do something like this: *** A Day at the Races in honor of Muriel Throckmorton's 50th Birthday Please join us for [dinner/lunch/light refreshments] and an afternoon/evening of ostrich races date time Ben Hur Race Track address Please pick up your special tickets to the party suite at Entrance B --- Dinner to follow Chez Ritzy address --- Kentucky Derby attire RSVP: copperearth@whatever.com/123-4567 [whatever you want them to use] *** "Kentucky Derby attire" was my best shot at suggesting hats without getting too specific and bossy. If you aren't in the US, maybe "Ascot" or whatever a well-known venue where the women wear hats and fascinators would be. Yes, I did put "50th" in. I hate when people simultaneously celebrate someone's birthday and insult them by saying something like "special birthday" instead of the year, implying that their age is something to be ashamed of. (And, yes, I am over 50!) Either "50th Birthday" or just "Birthday," just please not "Special Birthday."

I can't believe he's almost 3 too...the time goes by so fast. It's strange to think that in less than the amount of time as he is old (did that just make sense?? lol), he'll be starting kindergarten. Yikes! He is soooo funny. The things that come out of his mouth crack me up. He has conversations with himself all the time, it's quite entertaining to listen to.

all your guests need to know in advance is, are you going to feed them a meal? The style of the meal is not something they need to know in advance. Style of dress, yes. (they have to GET dressed before they leave) Style of meal, no. (they can eat when the food shows up) This is not a commercial setting in which people decide to come bcs it's going to be a hot meal w/ waiter, etc. They *do* need to know if there will be a meal, because they need to eat if you're not feeding them. (and if a bride & groom expect their guests to show up in the middle of the dinner hour, they really should serve a meal, which you are.) If you wanted to, you could use the wording that goes: Reception following at LocationNameHere and say instead "buffet reception following at..." Or don't mention the reception on the invite itself, but include a card that says "joins us afterward for hors d'oeuvres and a cold buffet" These are family and friends; if they hear about wedding plans, they'll figure it out.

In response to MountainBreeze.... I agree that its sort of "non-traditional" to ask people to come to a destination wedding that you have no intension of reciprocating their efforts by paying for a meal or cake and punch. BUT I also think that if the guest list is small enough for the people traveling to the wedding you don't even NEED to send invitations. Email, call, have your Mom or someone call... It's always easier to talk to someone about a sticky situation informally than trying to figure out some eloquent way to tell them something they might not want to hear. (you know it comes off impersonal and therefore impolite) Then with the people invited to your reception at home, just make it like a regular invitation...as formal or informal as you want. I mean the economy issues go both ways, but if you go to a family member or a friend personally and say... We can't afford this but love you and wish you could attend; please do if you can afford it as well then you don't even need to worry about half the stuff that I'm sure is on your mind. I have a similar problem have been searching around the web....maybe someone brilliant can help me!! I am getting married in my home town...which I don't live in and neither does my man. We are having a small family wedding with a formal sit down dinner to follow in my home town in Indiana. THEN.... we (my fianc� and I) are coming back "home" to Tennessee to have a follow-up less formal reception celebration with our friends and some of my extended family who also live in TN. Majority of the people who are invited to the wedding are not coming to the Reception in Tennessee. (Why would they it's far away and they already saw us get married?) BUT there are about 50 extended family members (that all live in TN) that I want to invite to the wedding with the anticipation that they will choose to come to the Reception in TN instead of driving to IN. So I was thinking of sending the following: Indiana wedding people get invitations to the wedding with RSVP Cards ( That will Read: Please Reply by X: Accept ____ Decline_____ if accepting: Chicken_______ or Steak________; Tennessee Reception ONLY people get there own seperate invitations to the Reception saying (we were married on XYZ, please join us for a Reception celebrating our marriage at blah blah; Then! Here in lies the problem--what do I do about those 50 family members who I want to invite to the wedding and also give them the choice of coming to the Tennessee Reception? I was thinking of sending them a seperate Reception card (included when I send the wedding invites) that say in a nut shell "in lieu of wedding you can instead attend the Tennessee Reception") Now... how do I word that without sounding like an idiot (see above!) or does anyone of this world wide web have a better idea!!!!! I'm getting married in April of 2011 I've have run out of Freaking Time to be clueless!! Thank you to anyone who responds. StephC.