>> I feel like no matter how much time we spend, it's never enough in the end. Does that make sense?

It makes perfect sense to me, Pawprint.

I'm so sorry for your loss of your dear father. I can feel it inside as I read your post. And yes, whether it's a human loved one or a non-human loved one, grief is grief.

On my part, actually nothing runs in my family. My family members have tended to live a long life. But still ... as you said, it's never been enough. I miss them terribly.

In the meantime, I try to be open and expressive to my living loved ones so that they know how I feel and so that I don't have to wish that I had done so.

There is nothing in my family tree that shows up from one generation to the next. I have heard that some things skip a generation. I have not seen anything from my parents that would show in my sons. But, they are still young.

With some deaths, it feels like there is never enough time but others I have welcomed with open arms.

My mom's family, everyone dies of cancer.

My paternal grandmother passed from multiple myeloma and my paternal grandfather has advanced Alzheimer's, his is one that will be welcomed.

He doesn't know any of his kids or grandkids anymore, "he" is gone and has been for some time, only his body remains. We were never close to begin with so all I will feel when he passes is relief.

When it is someone we are close too, it is harder though. I would have loved more time with my grandmother but I was ultimately happy for her that she was no longer in pain when she she passed.

I was close to my husband's grandma as well but hers was also not a sad death to me. She was 101, had an amazing life, an amazing career, touched and influenced so many people. She was tired and ready. She had done and seen everything she wanted to.

I'm sorry you are having such a tough time right now. Hold your family close and never wait to tell them how you feel.

Cancer runs rampant in my family, lost my dad, brother, sister, two nephews, numerous aunts and uncles. Mom died with Alzheimer's, don't know wich is worse.

The men in my Father's side of the family all dies from heart problems. Years ago most only lived till they were in their 40's. My Dad lived to be 55 & both of my brothers died before they were 60. I have lots of health problems but my heart is very strong.

My Mom died of brain cancer & I had lung cancer. My Aunt had TB when she was 22 & my other Aunt got arthritis when she was 28 so I guess I take after my Mom's family. I have arthritis in almost every joint of my body.

When I lost part of my lung to cancer not 3 months later our beautiful pit bull got cancer & lost one of his eyes.

Yah, it was filling out doctor paperwork that got me thinking about it. We all have to go, one way or another. Per my family history, my odds are cancer, Alzheimer's, or heart attack. But I could be hit by a bus tomorrow...

I think what bugs me about my dads passing is that I said goodbye for the "night" not "forever". If that makes sense. But I did say goodbye, some people aren't that fortunate. He was in hospice so I knew it would be any day, just didn't know what day.

It breaks my heart to hear of so many loved ones passing before their time due to these terrible illnesses. Most of my family have been blessed with long lives....only my sister passed on early, but she had multiple problems and lived long past expectations, and I was so glad that she did live to be 70 and the last 25 years were the best. I count MY blessings and credit my continuing good ? health to exceptional medical care. Every Day is one to live well, love well and put a smile on someone's face.

Both my husband and I come from very healthy families who live a long time. We just hope our money doesn't run out before we do. That is a concern with both our moms who are 88 and still going strong. My dad did die of cancer at 65 (much too early) as a result of smoking, but his mom also smoked and lived into her 80's.

My mom does have the beginnings of Alzheimers and truly I hope she quietly dies in her sleep before she loses everything.

I'm sorry you're missing your dad so much. The miserable feeling does ebb with time.....and I guess wondering when we'll see family members again has to do with faith. I wish you well.

Geez...my family has gone the full gambit. Cancer...heart attacks...etc. I guess the thing that runs throughout is the toilets lol

Nothing that stands out. yes we have had cancers (skin,bladder,breast) but other than a grandmother's breast cancer which she beat way back in the sixties most could be attributed to lifestyle choices. Time spent outdoors in the sun, chain smoking,diet maybe. Both parents had arterial/heart problems but both were lifelong chain smokers. Father lived to 90 eating bacon and eggs daily and chain smoking after bypass surgery. He had several mini strokes and still smoked. He could have gone another 10 years but made a conscious decision to die. Mother died of an embolism post surgery when she was 78.

DD texted me the question just earlier this evening asking about breast cancer. My maternal grandmother was probably in her late 60's when she had cancer. She lived cancer free after that til her death at age 88. So I told DD it really wasn't statistically something to worry about. Plus extended breast feeding is thought to be helpful and we have certainly done that. We don't smoke and eat much better I think although I don't fret about food. Just more balanced and less fatty. Not into labeling bad food/good food.

Heart disease runs rampant in both sides of my family. A lot of diabetes too. Mom, sister, and many aunts on both sides with type 2. My Daughter has been diabetic (type 1) since age 10. We even had two dogs with diabetes. (Husband is diabetic too. It is in the water I think.)

My sister and I have a rare form of Muscular Dystrophy that was passed to us from both parents who each had to carry the gene for us to get it. All family members could be carriers of the gene, but it won't result in someone else with the disease unless they have a child with another carrier.

Cancer I am grateful to say has not shown up on either side.

It's likely that many or our grandparents and parents died of poor nutrition, bad habits, and little public health measures or medical care.

My DH was convinced he would die young of heart disease because his father and his father's four brothers all died of it before they were fifty. They also all ate horrible, greasy diets, drank, smoked, were sedentary and overweight.

DH was still relieved to discover in his mid-forties that he was adopted. (What kind of mother lets a son grow up fearing 'his' heart attack?)

Recently DH volunteered to a doctor that he didn't know much about his genetic background. The MD chuckled. "You're very healthy now, in your seventies. That's what matters."

My family has no real trends, just onsie-twosies here and there. My mother had cancer, but her mother lived to 100 and her grandmother lived to 103. My dad had a rare auto-immune disease that eventually killed him. One grandfather had a massive stroke, one had a heart attack. One grandmother lived for 50+ years with MS and just generally died of old.

DH's family has all sorts of patterns. Heart disease, prostate cancer (although nobody has died directly because of it), several cousins with cancer. DH and I watch our weight and how we eat, and are both very active. Maybe we'll be the ones that get skipped. We can hope.

There is something I have been reading about called "epigenetics". It's basically re-training your genes, but what it really is is lifestyle choices. Don't smoke, don't drink alcohol to excess, be fit and active, stay out of prolonged sunlight and you will most likely live a long and healthy life. Both of our families are long lived. My Dad had oral cancer when I was in high school, from a lifestyle choice of smoking cigars. No one has diabetes or heart disease that I know of, although my husband's family has some chunky folks. There are, of course, exceptions. My MIL died of breast cancer 10 years ago. She was a little woman who didn't smoke or drink, not very physically active. The breast cancer was ductal, which is rather rare.

I'm sorry for the loss of your Dad and your puppy. It's not easy.

Other than insanity....I can't think of anything. My brother is 85 and has lung cancer but that is the first cancer I have known of in the family. No high blood pressure, high cholesterol or diabetes.

Diabetes, unfortunately. It used to be the old people's disease where people got it in their 60's. My dad and several siblings have it and are skinny. Mainly they control it with diet and exercise.

One grandfather died at 64 because he was an alcoholic and destroyed his liver. His twin sister died a few years ago of colon cancer. She was 92. The other three grandparents died of cancer at age 82... testicular, stomach, and cervical.

It would take me 10 pages to name everyone in our family that has died from cancer. It runs wild on my dad's side of the family. My grandmother, everyone one of her sisters, both of her daughters, the oldest granddaughter and my oldest sister have all died from cancer. My niece, our youngest daughter and myself are the only ones that are still alive. On my husband's side his dad, two daughters and two of his sister's have died from cancer. His two sons and oldest grandson have all had cancer. There has only been one death on my mom's side. I worry for our children and work really hard to stay on top of things..

My great grandfather, on my mother's side: Mother said he a had facial skin condition. Because of it, he did not shave and wore a long white beard to protect his face. He died at estimated age of 98.

His son, my grand father, had skin cancer on his scalp and one near his eye. The one near his eye was treated with radon filled needles inserted at the cancer site. He died at age 94.

So far as we know, Mom did not have cancer, but could be cantankerous at times. She died at age 95 from the effects of a fall and heart condition.

Cancer did not get these 3 people; Old age did.

The two men above was fair skinned with blue eyes. They were farmers and spent their life behind a team of mules in the great sunny outdoors. In their day, folks did not connect direct and lengthy exposure to sunlight to skin cancer. Although they regularly wore hats, there were plenty of times when they were hatless.

As a youth, I got plenty of sun exposure and a few sunburns. I am fair shinned with blue eyes. In my adulthood, I held an office job but the damage had been done. In retirement, a Dermatologist said, "I see signs of per-cancerous cells.", and did a face peel. He ordered me to protect my face and scalp. I have been free of skin cancer for the last 3 years.

Marilyn! You beat me to it!

I hadn't thought of it for years, but when I was in my teens, I used to tell people insanity ran in my family.

although I think Amazing Aunt Audrey beat us both; *toilets* run in her family!

As chisue said, so many people used to die of accidents & things that we never think about today.

My grandmother "texas", my father's mother, had 12 children, poor nutrition, & zero medical care.

Babies will suck the calcium right out of your bones, & by the time I came along, she was bent over like a question mark.

She still managed to live into her eighties & died of having lived.

Back in her day, so many things were lethal:

diabetes

infection of accidental injuries (farm equipment, tetanus, & kicks by horses/cows/mules come to mind)

pregnancy & all its mind-boggling possibilities-stroke, eclampsia, toxic (is that the word?) pregnancy, pregnancy-induced diabetes, breech birth, "childbed fever" (infection caused by birth).

I saw a cartoon some years ago, "For Better or Worse". The mother was flapping her shirt & her face was sweaty, & she asked her friend the rhetorical question, "How did our grandmothers get through menopause?"

The friend replied, "They didn't. They didn't live that long."

I usually say that I didn't come from a gene pool, but rather a genetic mud puddle ;)

Autoimmune issues, bi-polar disorder - or rather let's just say mental health issues, heart issues from one side (it is hard to say if cancer runs in that family because all the men died so young from heart attacks) and an inheritable heart valve issue from the other. Type 2 diabetes, milk not coming in after childbirth, ability to conceive at the drop of a hat but trouble carrying the baby to term, cystic kidneys.

My sister got the kidney stones and the skin lesions (possible lupus) but I got the scleroderma and rheumatoid arthritis (which has now been reclassified as chronic infectious arthritis). We both inherited the degenerative disc disease which comes from both sides of the family.

No enamel on my teeth, and my pupils are not centered in my irises. We all have the same weird tiny pinky toe with hardly any nail and a flat - but wide - posterior. Wide feet, but I am not too bad - many on my mom's side have barney rubble feet tee hee!

My father and I both have the same issue that causes low hemoglobin (those blood gas tests and the finger blood ox thingy don't work well for us, and we giggle when the nurses look worried thinking we are croaking).

I am one big genetic defect, man!

Dances.

Sorry family history on my mom's side......heart disease, strokes and diabetes.

Lung cancer and asthma on my dad's side.

Despite my extremely healthy lifestyle I have coronary heart disease and asthma and hypertension.

My mom had a stroke at age 48 and died of a massive heart attack when she was 59.

My brother has strokes starting at age 56 and had a massive stroke and died at age 66.

My sister is 88 and has memory loss and an irregular heart rate at times.

Our family motto is: Greatness runs in our family, but unfortunately, weirdness runs faster!! LOL Aside from that, there is a history of diabetes and cancer.

HEIGHT! !!

Husband, 6'2", me 5'10" daughters 6 ", 6'2". Five brothers ranging from 6' 4" to 6'.

Grandsons both 6' 5". Sons -in law to match.

My oldest daughter at 6 ft. used to tell those who asked (especially men) "I'm five feet twelve!"

Connective tissue disorder--- everybody suffers partial or total dislocations pretty often. Necks are unstable. Partial paralysis and being prone to falling. Mast cell disorders causing odd food sensitivities. I'm in much better shape than my siblings.

Other than that and diabetes we are a healthy bunch.

Cancer, cancer, cancer!....stokes, arthritis, but the one I fear most is ALZ!

Thyroid diseases tend to run on my Mother's side of the family, in both female and males. Mom came from a very large family, and everyone of her brothers and sisters had a form of thyroid disease. Mom's Mom also had thyroid disease. Many of my cousins on Mom's side have thyroid disease. Myself, my son, and my daughter have thyroid disease. Problems with that little bitty gland cause so many bad things with the body - hair loss, dry skin, shakes, weight issues (either too much or too little), eye problems, constipation, gallbladder issues, just name it.

My sister who is 17 years older than me has lived with heart Arrhythmia all her life, has had inflammatory breast cancer and another type of breast cancer and this year battled with lung cancer. My other sister 10 years older than me died of breast cancer in both breasts that spread after she had a double mastectomy, my Mom's sister had breast cancer which eventually spread to her bones. My 29 year old niece was diagnosed with thyroid cancer last year and had her thyroid removed. My Dad died from an enlarged heart, my Mom had Alzheimer's but died from pancreatic cancer. My sister and I both have high levels of uric acid in our bodies which causes gout - mine flares up in my knee and the side of my foot and flares up immediately if I eat mushrooms, asparagus, cauliflower ( my favourite things to eat). My Doctor said it was genetic. Except for the high level of uric acid I don't think any of these things run in my family but are caused from other sources. My Mom smoked for most of her life, my oldest sister smoked for a long length of time before quitting and my sister who died was a casual smoker when she was younger and my Aunt smoked until she quit when she was in her 50\s. Both my sisters were diagnosed with cancer around the age of 50. So far I have been lucky and I think for me it is because I have never smoked unlike the rest of my family who has had cancer. haha what does run in my family though is that most of us are night owls just like my Mom was. We call it our family curse. My sister, my nieces, my brothers and myself. I

Interesting read. Dad died at 86 of a heart attack during the night. He was diagnosed with diabetes at age of 80 when he had an appendicitis attack. Don't ever remember him going to a Dr. before that. Death certificate states high B/P but don't recall him taking meds for that, only oral tabs for his diabetes. Mom died at 91 with pneumonia. She was in a nursing home at the time, she really went downhill after Dad died and was no longer able to take care of herself. She had CHF but it was the pneumonia that took her life.

Oldest brother died age78, not really sure of the cause. Sister died age 76 from cancer. Brother died at 83, malnutrition and CHF. Mainly he lost all interest in life when he could no longer ride his beloved Harley and the last several years he lived with us then just lost all interest and quit eating, had to persuade him to eat and finally had him put in nursing home and only lived a couple of weeks before dying.

Remaining brother is 95 and relatively in good health and very alert and active. I am 79 and in reasonably good health, taking no meds except a daily aspirin and some vitamins. Broke my wrist about 6 weeks ago and now wearing a splint but still able to get things done.

Paternal GF died at 62 as did my Pat. GM, four years apart. Both died before my Dad got married. Paternal GGF died at 79, Pat. GGM died at 82

On my Mother's side, my GF died at 77 after he fell on the ice on his farm and suffered a stroke. Mat. GM died at 85, most likely from old age as she was still active and alert and up until a couple years before her death was keeping the books and running the office for her son's business.

FIL died at 75 with heart problems and MIL died at 86 with uterine cancer. She was still running a boarding home for the elderly up until a year or so before her death, many residents much younger than she was. :)

Would say our family have a pretty good background.

Should add that one brother, the 95 year old, did smoke some in his 20s, but not since and none of the rest of us ever smoked. My Dad smoked a pipe until he was about 60 but quit and Mom never smoked. No drinking except an occasional beer or wine but no problem drinkers on either side.

suicide