macv - I would have been happy to pay the designer to draw up the details, but she pretty much wanted to be done with the project. We had a meeting with designer, builder & us just before we went to contract to go over the plan. I had a list of questions room-by-room and many of them had to do with the trim details. We kept being told that we would work all of that out as the build progressed. (Plus, the designer had snarky comments & a few eyerolls about me and my lists. I'm sorry, but lists are a good thing and make it easier to communicate and manage a process.) On that early trip to SC, we met with lots of suppliers and made choices to go the ARB. We specifically asked to meet with the trim carpenter to get a feel for how the details were handled. We were put off. Asked to meet him, again, when we were there for the MEP. Put off once more. mdev - Polite? Moi? I'm flattered that I come off that way. Even 20 years in Texas has only put a thin veneer over the Jersey girl core. I just have learned to hide it pretty well. I think DH was afraid to take me up there on this trip because he knew I would go all "Hoboken" on the builder's sorry butt which is just what he needed. Oh, well. Yes, the builder is trying to make us feel bad, so we cave. At this point, I'm so over that. I haven't even gotten to the various tile fiascos, but we are getting the line of "It will look just fine when the shoe molding is on." Well, if is doesn't look fine, it will be even more money, time and trouble for him to fix it then. Oh, and I do send e-mails with the various issue and problems listed out in bullet form and the rationale for what I am saying. I get complaints that my e-mails are too long and complicated. So, when there was a problem that need a lengthy explanation, I wrote it all out to document the issue and put an executive summary at the head of the e-mail. That still got ignored. So then I decided that I should write e-mails that have no more than 2 sentences. Those got a response, but many of the the action items were never executed. pps7 - we've done all kinds of sketches and renderings. We even sent off a sketch for a platform for the W/D to sit on in the laundry room. The master bath has 4 windows in the gable over the vanity & DH had to do all of the coordination to integrate what the trim carpenter and the cabinet maker were going to do. Over two months before the trim work started, I modeled how we wanted the bedroom fireplace to look and sent them renderings from various angles. When the fireplace was trimmed, it looked nothing like my rendering. We don't even think the builder showed the pictures to the carpenter. Same story with the pediment for the opening to the great room. I guess I should have modeled the coffering, but I'm not sure it would have changed anything. Ya know, I appreciate that a custom house is a bit like what I do because each project is different and it's not like a tract house builder who turns them out by the dozen with only slight variations. That's why coordination and planning are crucial to producing a good final result. Oh, yes, we've had our share of change orders, but I've done my darnedest to contain costs and even save money on other areas. The builder made a comment to us that his office manager said he would be owing us money by the time we're done. I think that irks him. Thanks for the comments - Jo Ann

Fabricland had tons of stuff but nothing that would work. The fabrics were very upholstery like and not suited for a child's room. They did have some specifically geared towards kids but those were only 84". @mlweaving_Marji, what you said makes perfect sense. Although I will have to come up with a new plan as I won't be able to sew anything together. Even if I attempted it, I don't the time. We go from 6:30am until 10:30pm every week day, and have one day's worth of free time on the weekend which is used for grocery shopping, cleaning, etc. I could look into a seamstress but I wouldn't expect it to be cheap here. 2 years ago I got straps shortened on a top (nothing fancy or difficult about it) and it cost $25. The top was only $50. Ha ha. Hemming pants costs $20. We installed the rod yesterday and hung the panels and they definitely need more width. Even if they are directly over the window/frame, light creeps through the sides. And it looks like it needs more width. The silk ones are really nice though and nice quality. Unfortunately, Pottery Barn screwed up and one panel, even though it says 96" is 84". Sigh. So no matter what, something has to go back which is going to involve extra shipping costs, etc. Since I have to go through that gong show, I could see if I can scrounge up enough to purchase more panels of what I already have, but if I can't put them up without being sewn together, that doesn't help me much either. WHY do they make panels so narrow? They are designing 2 panels to fit a 36" window? Our windows aren't even overly large for the room and they are wider than that. If they made them wider, they would still work on narrow windows but also work on wider windows. This post was edited by silvercanadian on Mon, Nov 11, 13 at 12:18

I don't really see how you can oversand the wood. Just sand enough until it is smooth and then caulk it, only filling the gap and wiping away the excess caulk with a damp cloth. You could use some wood filler or something, but all fillers are brittle and will eventually crack/fall out, which is why caulk is usually a better option. Sometimes the carpenter doesn't care much where the seam falls so there is no stud behind the seam, which is why the crack in the seam reappears.

Agreed with the previous comment: You likely need to sand the entire thing, using a consistent final grit everywhere, and begin again when temperatures are above 50 (ideally even warmer than that). It's possible to match stains, but if your stain is coming off of the entire piece, I think you're better off starting over. You didn't mention what type/brand of stain or solvent(s) you used. I'd guess you used either a gel stain or a wiping stain if it's still coming off. If that's the case, next time you stain, wipe off all excess with a clean rag before the stain dries. (Stains and types of stains are very different - then add in different types/hardness of wood and results vary a lot.) In the meantime, if you absolutely cannot wait for warmer weather and do not have warm space to do this, I'd suggest cutting a piece of plywood (sacrificial) and covering it with contact paper. Alternatively, get a cheap piece of prefab formica. Good luck!