I said goodbye to Tasha today
With a broken heart I wanted to share that my sweet, sweet Tasha crossed the rainbow bridge this morning. We rescued her when she was only 10 weeks old and had a wonderfully too short 15 years to spoil our Princess who never stopped being the baby. We were so blessed - it was not until her final days that her age finally caught up with her and she succumbed to kidney failure. Our precious vet, who has been working closely with us since Sunday, came to the house and helped our baby make the transition so very gently and peacefully and for one final time, I held her in my arms so that she could feel my heartbeat and whispers in her ear of love and release - the most difficult gift of love we can give at the end. My heart is broken, but grateful for every moment, every walk, every demand for cookies, every snuggle and every so much everything else. Our house feels so empty and our boy Sam, whom she picked out, is grieving right along with us. He stayed close by during our last rough night together and laid next to her when she crossed the bridge.
Our lives will never be the same, but you sweet Tasha are worth every tear and all the heartache that I have now because you brought me so much pure joy. Until I see you again my forever baby - mommy loves you,
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Comments (23)Thank you again so much. I cried long and hard this morning after everyone else left for school and work. The house is dreadfully quiet. Last night I woke up at 4:30 a.m. because I'm so used to having to get Casey up to go to the bathroom at around that time. It will be a while before I can sleep through the night again, I'm sure. Annz, what you said has helped me immeasurably to know I did the right thing. I was really thrown for a loop when the vet began discussing treating her and I've been plagued with guilt that I didn't think harder about giving it a try. I must have known in my heart that she was too far gone and that it was inevitable that the end was near either way. But hearing your words comforted me so much. My sister (the only other person I know personally who is as much a bonafide animal-crazy person as I am) told me essentially the same thing. She owns a pet-sitting business and they have had anywhere from 4-7 pets of their own (they, too, have had to put a couple of their pets to sleep during the past couple of years). She told me that renal failure is extremely serious and that Casey was so fortunate to have lasted as long as she did. It helps assure me that I did what was best for my girl. You're all right, though -- it really does just hurt like crazy. It almost takes my breath away at times. I'm grateful that I've been able to spill my heart out here, as I really have no one else who quite understands my grief, other than my sweet sister. In an odd way, I feel like the experience is giving me something, though. I hope this doesn't sound strange, but I've been grappling with feelings of guilt for all the things I didn't do for Casey (should have cleaned her ears and teeth more often, should have gotten her groomed more often, should have taken better care of her, should have walked her more, etc.) I suppose it's all a part of the grief, but it's pointed out to me not to take others for granted. There are a lot of things in my family life and even with friends, etc. that I realize I've been taking for granted, being "too busy" is really the excuse. I'm oddly comforted by the notion that I have the opportunity to stop taking these relationships for granted and really show them how much I care. I don't want to have "regrets" where anyone else is concerned. I don't mean any of this to sound strange. I know Casey had a good life and she absolutely knew she was loved. I just feel like maybe her legacy is to remind me how much I love not only her, but so many others in my life. I'll get through this one day at a time....See More
ladybugfruit
7 years agoThank you so much for all of the kind thoughts. The house just doesn't seem....right. Funny how grief works - I couldn't stand for her bed to stay ( donated immediately) but still have not been able to bring myself to pick up her "chicken towel" or food bowl. I know it's all part of the process and that this ache in my heart is part of what makes life so very precious. Joy is all the sweeter when one has walked intimately with sorrow.
Our sweet Sammy doesn't like spending as much time out back anymore - he goes to potty but doesn't linger too long - it was his job to escort the Princess around the perimeter when out back. He seems very lost without her. Sad with us.
She rescued Sam.
She was the last of our 4 rescues that we couldn't say no to, and when we lost our Ridgeback in Oct 2011, we felt it was only appropriate that she chose her new companion. It was a unique situation because we could not take her to adopt a pets due to her health ( she had a disease when young the left her unable to to be vaccinated without lethal results). We connected with a rescue that brought several dogs to us for Tasha to meet and she ultimately chose our Sammy boy - who had no clue how to dog. She had no problems showing him the ropes and they were thick as thieves.
As Sunday rituals go, Tasha ALWAYS knew Sunday - it was park day. In more recent days we didn't always make it that far, but we always went that direction and the days we did make it - we always walked the trails. She loved it - Sam hated it.
We have tried to keep routine normal for Sam - and so, with honor in our hearts this morning, we turned left instead of right and made our way to the park. Sam knew this was a special walk of sorts this morning and as we made our way in, he headed for the trails, where he stopped and sniffed more than he has since her passing ( she taught him to smell everything!! Kinda funny coming from a sharpei - she was trained by a beagle) It was bittersweet.
We are all missing her. Thought I would share a few more shots of my lil girl ( and her boy Sam)
Ninapearl