Annie, I used to have those leg cramps, but it was every month when I had my period. In the 1970's I started reading Prevention magazine, which was not the slick mag it is now, and they talked about calcium deficiencies. One part of it was caused by using non-fat dairy (which I used to do) and they claimed it was necessary for you to digest fat with calcium to utilize it. The other part was an imbalance of calcium, magnesium and phosphorous, caused in part by drinking diet soda (an excess of phosphorous in those drinks leaching magnesium and calcium from your system). I always struggled with my weight, so both those things were part of my diet. They claimed that even calcium supplements, if they contained phosphorous (if you had excess phosphorous intake from soda) would not help the imbalance and your body would not utilize the calcium. I don't know if it's true or not, but what I did cured my leg aches every month. I found a liquid calcium, magnesium supplement (without phosphorous) and began taking it, along with switching to 1% dairy. If I would run out, or get out of the habit of taking it, I would get these terrible aches in my legs at the onset of my period. I remember several times when my legs would start this terrible aching, during my 1 hour commute, stopping at a health food store to get my calcium and chugging a bit of it in the car, then continuing on my way home. By the time I reached home the aching had stopped. It happened enough times that I became a true believer in their theory. So, even if you take calcium, read up on the best kind to take, see if it contains magnesium and phosphorus and if you drink soda, try to find a supplement without the phosphorus. And if you use only nonfat dairy, try switching to 1% for some things and see if it makes a difference. Here is a link that might be useful: one article on calcium supplements

Sounds to me more like depression or another mental illness. If it's been going on for 10 years, steadily, it seems unlikely to be menopause, imo. I could be wrong, but my meno changes have been intermittent with really bad periods of depression and anxiety, and spontaneous return to my normal state of function, and normal periods normally lasting much longer than the depressive ones. See if you can try and get her to seek medical attention. Mrs H

Sounds like it to me! But I recommend that you should always see your gynocologist... and now's about time you should be testing for all the bad stuff that hits women with age. :o)It's fine for self diagnosis... but you should be checked. Preventative medicine is always the best.

In the past 3-4 years, my sister and I have experienced the passing of our brother, mother and father. (I am 49 and she is 52). This was a horribly tumultuous and painful time - care-giving issues prior to my parents' passing were extremely difficult and I personally feel a lot of guilt for not having been there as much as I should have. But my sister didn't make it easy, and even now, our relationship is strained, though I do see a light somewhere out there. Only now, as I have been officially declared in menopause this month (or am I now post-menopausal?), do I realize that both my sister and I were probably going through perimenopause and all its various symptoms, and because of that, we were both going through changes of our own, while at the same time attempting to deal with the premature and tragic death of my brother and the slow, degenerative (both mind and body) aging of our parents. Sadly, my sister still does not wish to speak of such matters, and I am happy to have a best friend to whom I can talk about most any subject. This forum helps immensely as well. Alternating feelings of intense dread, anxiety, rage and sadness were all a part of me during those years, and even until recently. But I have a vague feeling I am becoming more at peace (or is that just wishful thinking?) DH once told me, I cannot feel guilty for something that was the way it was. I meant no intentional harm or ill-will to anyone - quite the contrary - I cared so much, that's why it hurt so much. My sister and I have both made it through (at least I am guessing she has - she doesn't talk about "the change" etc). There are wounds still fresh, and some very old scars - and I pray that one day we can talk openly about all that has happened. If not, so be it - maybe that's the way it is meant to be, but in the meantime - the heart must be open. And finally, after all those times I was so depressed and sad, that I thought I was mad and I felt I wanted to leave this earthly place, I now know for certain that I want to live - fully, and as best as I can - for as long as I can, with those that I love around me. Anna