I think (hope) doctors today have the mindset of sparing what organs they can. I've read/heard arguments on both sides of the story. Here's some info from the wall street journal health journal: Cutting Less More doctors are challenging the convention of removing the cervix during a hysterectomy. Here's why: * Pap smears have sharply reduced the incidence of cervical cancer. * Sparing the cervix reduces the risk of bladder damage. * Some doctors say it may improve sexual function. Some 600,000 hysterectomies are performed in the U.S. every year, making it the second-most common women's surgery after Caesarean section. It is done to remove cancers of the uterus or cervix, or more commonly to treat a painful condition called endometriosis or because of noncancerous uterine growths called fibroids. Prior to 1940, nearly all hysterectomies preserved the cervix because it was easier and safer given the lack of antibiotics and blood banks. But by the 1960s, removing the cervix, viewed as a cancer preventative at a time when Pap smears were still fairly new, became standard. Now the tide appears to be turning. In 2006, 9.7% of U.S. inpatient hysterectomies, which account for more than 90% of the procedures, preserved the cervix, compared with just 1.7% a decade earlier, according to federal data. ------- Just sharing that info, not saying they are right. It's something anyone considering a hysterectomy should think about. I'm just thankful that we have alternatives to an actual hysterectomy these days. tina

Hello Fay-Lisa, You've been through so much, you should get a medal for staying as strong as you have and being able to maintain your job and relationship. You are absolutely NOT insane or anything close to it. Many people have that moment in life (or several) in which they feel like they have *had* it. They may not use markers to vent their frustration/anger/anxiety/depression but they do all kinds of other things -- eat too much, drink too much, have affairs, spend too much, leave their families, withdraw completely and so on. First things first, you are doing the right thing by getting all the physical tests out of the way. My first thought after reading everything you've been through is that you might need to see an endocrinologist to have your thyroid and hormone levels thoroughly checked (forgive me if you said you have already done then). If all the tests turn out to be in the normal range, then it's time to consider other possibilities. You may have some kind of chemical imbalance which might be helped with the right kind of medication. This process is most definitely trial and error, and I certainly understand your frustration with the various medications and their respective side effects. I don't like taking them either, but they do have their place as part of an overall approach to tackling and managing symptoms. One suggestion I have is for you to find a *good* therapist -- someone who is very experienced and has training in working with people who may have emotional damage from childhood. You mentioned in your post some unkind things your mother said to you when you were young. I imagine there's a lot more where that came from. Was there alcoholism in your family of origin? Are there others in the family or extended family who have struggled with mental health issues? One psychiatrist I consulted with asked me what kinds of mental health issues there were in my family (I, too, was struggling with terrible depression and panic attacks/anxiety). When I told him there were family members with bi-polar, extreme anxiety, schizophrenia, alcoholism and chronic depression, he said, "well, what did you expect?" The truth is most families have members who cope with these illnesses. A psychologist said that each of us has a collection of genes that contribute to our personalities and temperaments. We just have to work on doing the best with what we've got. You sound like a very self aware, strong person. Please please please do not be so hard on yourself. I am an easy going, peaceful person usually-- but when I have gone through difficult times in my life the anxiety and depression caused me to behave in ways I'm not proud of -- angry, irritated, crying, throwing things, hiding, having major panic attacks where I felt outside of my own body. That's called disassociation and it can happen when anxiety and depression go on for too long without proper treatment. In addition to all this, there is the real possibility that you are now in perimenopause and many of your current symptoms may have been caused or made worse by it. I think I've had every symptom in the "34 symptoms of menopause" list." I've always dealt with anxiety and depression, but this was so deep and dark -- I'm thankful to God that I finally found a competent therapist, the right medication and inner strength to choose to believe in myself and stop condemning myself. This is a choice you can make too and I hope you will. It sounds like you're a caring, compassion, intelligent and very sensitive person. Those are gifts worth celebrating!! It's so easy to slip into that groove of basing your self worth on your job. I'm a decade older than you, and I'm here to tell you, the quality, richness and success of your life is not about what you do to earn money to support yourself. It's about your relationships and your experiences. What do you do to relax and have fun? Fulfilling life experiences don't have to cost a lot of money. You don't have to have a lot of friends, but you do need a support system you can turn to for a listening ear and encouragement. There are many ways you can cultivate loyal, kind and supportive friends. You deserve to have people in your life in addition to your wonderful boyfriend who care about you and will treat you like the amazing person you are. Life goes by so quickly. Take each day as it comes and don't worry so much about the future. As the saying goes, we only live 24 hours at a time. And if I'm having a really bad spell, I take it about an hour at a time : ) Be good to yourself. You might find yoga relaxing or some other kind of exercise class. You might also find a support group beneficial -- it's always comforting to know you're in good company when it comes to dealing with life's difficulties. Think about what makes you the happiest and resolve to pursue these things. Don't ever let anyone make you feel "less than" about anything -- whether it's your job, appearance, hobbies, friends -- all these belong to *you* and if someone doesn't have something supportive or helpful to say to you, tune it out!!! It took me years to learn how to do this, but I am happy to say, it can be done!! Keep posting and let us know how you're doing. I am interested in finding out what the test results will show. But no matter what, cherish yourself and look for the positive things that happen each day -- even the smallest good things matter. God bless you and good luck with your appointments next week!!

I just want to say that NONE OF US are alone or crazy. My story is long... PMS started as a young teen and I had no idea what was going on. It eventually led to self-medicating, then to a slow and painful lifestyle of extreme addiction. Going on three years sober I'm grateful that I am now able to feel and understand my body to some degree. However (in a nutshell) since I hit my 40s - I'm now 42- the PMS has WORSENED. Not only the familiar severe anxiety that I have struggled with since a young teen but this horrible nausea that persists for up to two and a half weeks out of every month. I just started a birth control pill about a month ago and I'm praying that it works. I wish there would be more medical attention given to women's bodies and hormones and potential relief for some of the symptoms that are so debilitating. I have so many great things to be thankful for but I still don't feel like I can function at 100%, at least the hundred percent that I expect of myself! Thanks for listening. BTW I feel solid spiritually and I have a very healthy diet and exercise routine. Those help, I KNOW!! Any encouragement or suggestions welcome️

Hello j9sgarden, so as for other symptoms I also had discharge that I thought was Bacterial Vaginosis. I don’t do well with antibiotics and I heard this can also rectify itself. It just was not. Also I had lost my sister this past summer and had to move in with my mother and brother to help us all cope with her loss. So my issues took a back seat. We were all grieving. I started noticing the cramps were getting worse. I was getting flooding during my period for a couple days which I also researched on the web happens to some women during perimenopause with the hormone fluctuations. I was getting my period around every 45 days or so. So there was just a lot of stress in my life and I started researching doctors and finally settled on one though I was so apprehensive and nervous about the appt. Of course the morning I was to go my flooding/period came on full force. The doctor was amazing and still wanted to do a pelvic exam. She spotted the large mass right away and sent me directly to the ER. I was there 15 hrs had 4 pelvic exams and flooded through each one. It was not a good day. They ended up doing a biopsy while I was there. I was beyond frightened during all of it. They basically said it was cancer and a large mass but needed to find out what kind. Since then it has been a roller coaster ride of scans and procedures of not knowing exactly what I was facing. I still have a PET SCAN on the Nov 26. This week we set up and prepare the radiation treatments. I get the tiny tattoos they use to make sure they get the exact areas to treat. I will get radiation 5 days a week for 5 weeks. Every Monday of those 5 weeks I will also get Chemo. The chemo increases/helps the radiation work better. There are 3 different nausea drugs taken on different schedules to really eliminate nausea. They say I may lose some hair but it will be minimal. My chemo drug is Cisplatin. They will also do some radiation internally but start doing it from the outside first. It will fry the ovaries so I will immediately go into menopause. I hope this sheds some light on symptoms and what made me finally go to the doctor. Any other questions I am glad and open to answering. But like I said please just find a Womens Clinic and check any and every concern you may have. Mine was cervical cancer your may not be. But a dedicated womens clinic will make sure you get a thorough examination. Take care ladies.