It's good to hear from you Audrey. I'm sorry you are depressed. I have heard that a good way to chase the blues away is to talk to friends, and we are here and we are your friends, and would love to see you post more.

Thanks for checking in Audrey. It is very hard to cope when you are in pain. I agree with Moni. Is there a support group that you can attend? Being able to talk with those in your same position can be comforting.

Ah, the children. I am thinking you are not communicating with them just how lonely you are? As you have said, they are busy, and time is flies for them. Maybe a family meeting is in order?

I'm so sorry, Audrey. I, too, think that your kids should be ashamed of themselves. Or spanked!

I hope that you find some relief with medications. I agree that interaction with other people is very important, even essential. So is the routine of getting up, getting dressed, and getting out.

I hope that you are still reading and watching movies. I am a firm believer in the importance of laughter to maintain a healthy attitude. You've got enough humor in your personality to share with six other people!

I'll be thinking of you! ((((((AAA))))))

AA Im sorry you are feeling so low. Stay with the meds--they take a while to become effective and sometimes need to be tweeked. Is there a senior center near you? Many have transportation to take you to the center where you can enjoy others company. Many also serve lunch (for a small fee)so you can not always have to eat alone. They usually have all sorts of interesting classes or just discussion groups. Thinking of you.

I'm sorry you're feeling so down. Trying to be strong can be very exhausting. Have you tried meditation? There are a number of studies that show meditation can be as effective with depression as medications. It's also great for helping with chronic illness. There are a number of podcasts at meditation oasis that may fit your situation including one for healthy body and another for loneliness. There's also one on gratitude, and there's nothing that tamps down depression than gratitude. They are free and I promise, the only side effects are good ones.

Sending you thoughts of comfort and courage.

I'm sad hearing your sad....but if you need anything.... we check in here often, let us know. I wish you could get out more.....? Yoga sitting down with a class maybe...?

Audrey, I am so sorry to hear that you are not only housebound but lonely! I hope the antidepressants begin working for you soon. Is there any possibility of a portable machine so that you can get out of the house?

I'm sorry AAA, it's hard being alone. Sometimes I go a long time without seeing my kids, especially Alex. He was working a lot of hours before our vacation and so I was texting him just before I got off work to see if he wasn't working so we could have dinner together. About once every couple of months, my short work day or last day in a row would coincide with his work schedule or the fact that he didn't just eat. ( : I'm probably getting on his nerves asking so much but it's the only way I'd see him. Hope you figure out a way to see your kids more. Time is so short for everyone. I realized that when both my oldest friends got cancer. All the things I planned to do I'm starting to do now because someday I'm afraid I won't have anymore time or I won't be able to do them physically.

AAA, it is good to see you here, but I'm sad to learn you are having so much trouble. I wish I lived near you, so we could shake things up a bit. Please take care, and know that I am here anytime you need to talk. Love you!

So unfortunate that you're going through a bad patch, AAA. It was lovely to hear from you though and I hope you'll stay in touch. Please don't be reluctant to talk about some of the ups and downs in your life. Most of us have been there at one time or another and hopefully it will help your isolation to be surrounded by caring KT friends.

How awful it is for you right now. I don't know what your ailment is, if you said before I didn't see it. Is this a permanent thing to be attached to a machine 24/7?

I know kids are busy, blah, blah, blah, I am praying that they come to realize that you need them, it seems you don't want to put any pressure on them asking for their time. I'm not saying they're bad, most of our kids aren't, but they do get caught up in their own lives and sometimes need a light turned on for them to see you are in need.

I think they are so used to parents doing for them, they just are blinded to the fact that the roles are reversed. Please call them, tell them you need them more often now.

Also, I hope there's something in your area that you can get public transportation to a center of some kind. You need human interaction. We all do. I am praying things get better for you, I really am.

Cry to us all you want, if I see it, I'll respond. As many others will. Take care honey.

I add my voice to the others, first in telling you I'm so very happy to hear from you and second, that I'm sorry your situation is difficult and you are depressed. Life these days takes our kids away and keeps them away--they are very stressed out themselves and are expected by their employers to work ridiculous hours. Though we miss seeing them more, it's understandable. I won't give you any more suggestions as there are good ones here, but will remind you (ha! I lied,) there is almost always a transportation system sponsored by your city or county that is equipped to get you out and home again. It would probably be a little scary, but if there are caring people at the other end (senior center?) perhaps it's doable. Ok, I'm done. It's sooooo nice to hear from you!

My mom who is 87 and is physically healthy but has worsening Alzheimers while still living on her own could have posted that sign. She called yesterday to say she is ready to move into some type of seniors center, she's lonely and tired of doing it all.

Kids are one thing but mom wants her own friends with whom she can share stories and do some "aches and pains" commiserating.

Amazing Aunt Audrey - I hope you get your energy levels back and that you can figure out a way to get out and about.

Way OT and in defense of children - let's not make this a kid bashing thread. I am a kid and we do the best we can. I am 63 as is my husband and although we are retired there is no happy retirement for us as we both look after our elderly mothers. This is not what we envisioned but we do the best we can. I have a 55 year old sister with a 10 year old - not what she envisioned either. She does the best she can as well. We sure as he!! don't need to be made to feel ashamed and sure as he!! don't need to be spanked.

Audrey, I am so sorry for what you are going through. Hugs!

I have a family member and two very close friends that have severe depression. All three tend to isolate themselves. Isolation is one of the issues associated with depression. Besides medication, what is really important is communicating your feelings. I understand though that it is often difficult to explain how you are feeling to others. It takes a few weeks to notice the effects of anti-depressants and adjusting dosages is sometimes necessary or trying different meds. Your depression is likely intensifying your physical issues. Your doctor can recommend a therapist or group therapy.

I know you said your kids are very busy, but have you truly talked with them about what is going on? I only say this because as parents we often do not want to burden our children with our issues. We communicate to them that all is well, even when it's not. My advice is to have a heart to heart with your kids and tell them you need their help. We all need a little help from time to time.

Best wishes to you, Audrey. Fight your way back to more activity and better feelings, you seem to be the spunky sort.

blfenton, you situation deserves kind feelings from outsiders too but I wouldn't rule out kid bashing. Sometimes it's warranted, just as sometimes parent bashing is warranted too. Family relationships always suffer from history and baggage, good and bad. There are times when one can just suck it up and follow the Golden Rule, other times not. I know myself, I had both experiences (one of each) with my two parents.

Good luck to all.

I'm sure glad to see you here. You've been given a lot of good advice so I can't really add to it, but will give you a big hug. (((((((((Audrey))))))))

I'm sorry you are struggling so. Loneliness is horrid, and I'm glad you reached out here. Would you ever just say to your daughter how much you love her visits, and could she come twice a month? Is that when she brings the dog?

I know when a person is depressed, it's difficult to have enthusiasm for anything. How do you keep yourself busy? TV? Would you be interested in trying something new? People here love to color and share their work. We have some fantastic jigsaw puzzlers. Maybe puzzles? There are some fun and addictive computer games too.

You are not a crybaby. Sharing your struggles can help.

Hugs to you.

Audrey, is Taylor close by? Sometimes the grands "get it" far better than the kids ever do. I've spent so much time by myself, that even when I have an opportunity to socialize, I find I have to force myself to get involved. Just keep forcing yourself. The rest will come. (((Audrey)))

Sad for you. Maybe tomorrow will be just a little better.

I'm sorry, AAA. I wish they'd see what we do as far as you're concerned. My mother is 95 and in really poor health, mentally and physically and my brothers can't or won't find the time to fly in for a weekend. It's been 3.5 years for one and 1.5 for the other. I hope she doesn't realize it. Love you, lady!

It's really work fighting to keep up your spirit when everything seems to be going badly. Exhausting for sure, that's enough to make depression loom. I agree you must find places you can go to be with other people. Senior Center or a church group there's usually resources around we just need find them.

Doyou have anyone that comes by to help you like a care giver? My best friend lives in Oklahoma city and that's what she does for a living. She makes so much difference in the world's of those people's lives. She visits with them, she makes food, she cleans up a little and often takes them on outings. They absolutely adore her. Most end up calling her granddaughter. I would be happy to have her contact you if you are interested or don't have someone doing this for you. You need outings.

Stayhealthy and try to find things to give you some happiness. We are here.

I'm 2200 miles from my ailing 84 year old mother. I wish every minute of every day I could be with her while she goes through chemo and radiation. I don't really care what the history is with your kids, at some point in life none of that matters and having busy life is no excuse, we all do. Shame shame shame on them for not being more sensative and less self centered. If they only knew how freaking lucky they actually are!

lukkiirish....to an outsider, you would appear to be one of those "kids" who doesn't have time, is insensitive or is self-centered to people who hear your mother's story. Wish you were there all you want to, but fact is you're not! Stop brow-beating on other people's kids...please.

You have no idea about me or my mother's story Linda, but I can guarantee you she is not left alone or without. Honestly? I don't really give a hoot what I look like to you, you're welcome to your opinion, and so am I and it is IMO that it's a sad situation for AAA that shouldn't be.. Maybe you're offended because you're just one of those kinds of kids?. I always worry about regrets after it's too late.

AAA, can you stop by every day? Just say Hi or something that's happened that day. My daughter is busy, too, but I will not ask her to visit. If she wanted to she would.

lukkiirish - you're doing the same thing that you are accusing justlinda of and that is that according to you some children should be ashamed of how they are treating their parents and all of that without knowing their stories. You too, know nothing of those stories and to assume that the children are self-centered or have too busy of a life is offensive.

Anyway - out of here as this is not the thread for this discussion.

Audrey, I'm so sorry you are hurting and alone. You know we love you here and are willing to listen if/when you want someone to listen. Give the anti-depressants time to work but please let your doctor know if they don't after a period of time so she can adjust them or try something different. What works for one person doesn't always work for another. Love you, girl.

Audrey, I hope each day gets a little better. Just wanted to let you know I'm thinking about you today. Hugs!

Audrey, I know just what you are going through. I am in the same place. I do have friends who take me to Church and we have a Women Alone group at the Church once a month.I don't drive so what bothers me the most is having to ask to go to the store.My cousin and her husband have been doing that for me and they seem to be okay with it.They take me to the doctors appointments and to the grocery store.They say that they are happy to come and visit me and Daisy.Tom takes her for two walks while he is here and Sue says she likes to go shopping.I am grateful to them.It is just so hard being alone day and night.I have never lived alone and I keep my CD playing so that it is not so quiet. I do read and try to find things to keep me busy.Do you have a pet? I don't know what I would do without mine. I will keep you in my prayers.I have been on this site for many years and am grateful to be able to come here. The people here are so helpful and caring.

No I am not, not even close. AAA says her kids are close and only visit once a month if that....because they are too busy? When I lived close enough to commute and my mother was in need (and even when she wasn't), I was there every single day without fail regardless of what I had going on, 2 jobs, kid to raise and so on. Now finances and my own husbands cancer battle prohibit me from going as often as we'd like, but that doesn't mean I wouldn't if that weren't the case, it's all about intention Blfenton.. I know you don't have the best of relationship with your mother, maybe my comment just hit a cord?. Maybe it's just food for thought, like I said, no regrets in my corner, can you both say the same?

I lived the closest to Mom, and we saw each other all the time. My brother lives an hour or so away. He called every week but just came to visit during occasions (Mother's Day, Father's Day, Christmas, Easter, Thanksgiving; that kind of thing).

I was speaking with a friend recently, and she told her daughters not to call several times a day, to back things off. That is so that when she's no longer here, they won't take it as hard. Interesting concept.

Hang in there, you are in my thoughts.

I'm sorry you are having such a tough time of it AAA. I hope this is just a rough patch and you have lots of sunnier days ahead. Thinking of you.