I found this! LMAO! (And this is a true story, so help me!) Ahem: "Several years ago, some smarty-pants posted the following recipe: ROAST STICKY CHICKEN 4 tsp salt 1 tsp cayenne pepper 1 tsp thyme tsp garlic powder 2 tsp paprika 1 tsp onion powder 1 tsp white pepper ½ C chopped onion 1 large roasting chicy In a small bowl, thoroughly combine all the spices. Remove giblets from the chicy; clean the cavity well, and pat dry with paper towels. Rub the spice mixture into the chicy, both inside and out, making sure it is evenly distributed and rubbed deep down into the skin. Place in a resealable plastic bag, seal and refrigerate overnight. When ready to cook chicy, put in a crock-pot and do not add any liquid. As the cooking process goes on, it will produce its own juices. Cook on low 8 to 10 hours, and it will be falling off the bone tender. Sounds simple, right? I got a wild hair one Friday to fix it, and then cook it the next day. So, after work, I went to the grocery (no list, mind you, just reliance on my mighty memory! SNORT!) and proceeded to run amuck. I couldnÂt remember just what spice I had, and when I got a good look at the prices, I decided that I had all the ones that were required, and so I just bought a fresh chicy. Got home, got comfortable, Rog was at work, and all was right with the world. UntilÂ..I got to looking for the spices, and realized to my horror that I was missing a great deal of what I needed. Hmmmm get dressed and go back to the store, or improvise? Improvise, it is! No cayenne? I got FrankÂs Hot Sauce. Thyme? DonÂt need no stinkin thyme! I got oregano! Garlic powder?? Please. I got the real thing. White pepper---ahhhhÂ. I do have that. UmmmÂ. No, I donÂt. I do have an empty can in the cabinet, but I donÂt think that counts. So, I improvised, substituted and down-right lied. Got all the spice together, and then started to mess with my fresh chicy, that I paid more for than my stupid car. As I am pulling out the giblet bag, I noticed that it was hard and cold. Not good, as fresh anything should not be partially frozen. As it reposed on the counter, and I was contemplating on whether I should get the bourbon or tequila out (for me), the d@mned chicy tried to make a run for it and slid off the counter. Onto the dirt and grime, decimated frozen peas, and lots of cat hair that make up the daily mess of my kitchen floor. Freakin greatÂnow IÂm gonna hafta shave the d@mned thing before I can use the rub. I pick it up and throw it into the sink, spreading unimaginable gunk everywhere, wash and dry it, nail it to the counter, and start to apply the rub. Lemme tell yaÂthis ainÂt as easy as it sounds. Nothing like massaging a cold, dead chicy, and getting the impression that it actually likes itÂewwwww! And I donÂt know what they mean by "Large Roasting Chicy". What the h3ll is that?? Mine was 6 pounds, and the rub didnÂt seem to cover it like I thought it should. So, into the galleon sized Zip-Lock bag it goes. No, wait. The d@mned chicy is too big and when I try to shove it in the bag, the rub is getting shoved into the grooves of the sealing part, and itÂs not staying on the chicken. H3LL! LetÂs try this again, and dig outta the grooves as much rub as I can, and smear it on the chicy. DidnÂt work this time, either. (Note: Albert Einstein once said that the definition of insanity was doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. Case in point.) I cuss and I fuss, and I finally got the chicy in the bag (BARELY!!), and now, the Zip Lock wonÂt lock. Too much rub in the grooves, and nothing, short of dynamite, will clear it out. OK. IÂm tired, IÂve killed the kitchen, I have spice rub and cat hair all over my face and arms (where they stuck in the chicken juice). I donÂt care anymore. I will be in the local mental facility tomorrow anyway, so why do I care about tomorrowÂs dinner? The chicken won. The rub won. The d@mned Zip Lock (that wonÂt) bag won. They had, until I remember my stapler. My handy dandy, will staple anything, always there for me, stapler. With a maniacal laugh and a smile that would put the Joker to shame, I dug it out of the drawer, and proceeded to staple that d@mned bag **shut**. I was a staplin fool, and I only stopped when I ran out of staples. IÂm sure the neighbors were wondering what was going on as I told the bagged chicy "IÂll get you, my pretty, and your d@mned rub, too!" along with the sounds of out of control stapling. I did eventually get some cheap wine and take a bubblebath, after showering off the remnants of the chicy. Rog saw the poor creature stuffed in the fridge, and wisely chose not to say anything until the next day. The chicy was very good, however, but every time I see a galleon sized Zip lock bag, I get an irresistible urge to staple something."

My sister's son is horrible every year and she never learns. A few years ago he called bawling his head off. He said he was at the clinic with his girlfriend and had to go, he would call her back. He eventually did, still bawling. He said his girlfriend was pregnant and they did not know what they were going to do, etc. My sis jumped into gear. She told him that he could still have all his dreams of college and so could the girl. She said she would help them raise the baby since she was only 45. She would do anything to help them. Call ended. A few hours later he called to April Fool her. He is so bad. My favorite is what my oldest sis did to me. We are 9yrs apart and when I was 19 we became roommates out of necessity. I worked at Macy's. I had a long line of customers, worked in hosiery so they are all demanding and I had a lot of loyal customers. The call comes in. She was on a chair changing a bulb and fell off. She is sure she broke her leg and could barely reach the phone. I told her I would be right there and hung up. I immediatly looked at my line and said, "I am so sorry, my sister just fell and broke her leg. I have to go right now." Being loyal customers they all told me to get going. Just then the phone rang. It was my sis saying April Fools. I held the phone to the line so she could hear them boo her when I told them what happened. Then we all laughed.

Good one! Thanks for the morning chuckle....

Very funny! I have a photo from college of our band tour bus parked right behind a sign that says NO PARKING ANY TIME. I must say though that the goat looks just a teeny bit defiant, don't you think? Donna