Maybe you can use it in another room where it fits in better.

Like these?

Lol Rob. Indeed.

"When in doubt, leave it out" usually works pretty well. Of course hubby gets a say. Not saying that at all. I'm wondering, though, if her husband wants to display it because he likes it (not matching and all!) or because his mother made it, which I also am not saying is not understandable, but if that is the reason, sorry hubs, but it's your wife's house, not your mothers, and wife comes before mom in that case, IMO.

So, if it's because he likes it, put it on a chair next to his side of the bed, or in his office or "man cave", if he has one. If not, pull it out when his mother comes to visit, then back it goes when she's gone. Store it in a blanket box in the living room so people can pull it out to actually use, rather than having it on display. This is all compromise, which it seems to me is needed here.

"Either way, it's something he wants to use in the home. Do his reasons have to matter?"

Yes, I think his reasons matter, a lot (see above post). And I did not ever say his thoughts about it should not be considered. Please don't interpret that comment that way. The OP does not say if her husband actually likes the Afghan or not. I assumed he wants it out because his mother made it, and in that case, no, I think the wife's wishes surpass his since it is her home and not the mother's.

The answer is a compromise, not a veto.

Tibb, I wasn't trying to put words in your mouth. Just trying to understand the line of thinking and (hopefully) further the discussion. :-)

I know you weren't, TR. Not sure why you think that.

Because, Tibb, you said: And I did not ever say his thoughts about it should not be considered. Please don't interpret that comment that way.

Just trying to clarify nicely, that's all. Carry on.

I try to live by this rule: people are more important than things. Also things may around a lot longer than most people...

oh, I see, TR. Yes, I didn't think you were putting words in my mouth as much as misinterpreting what I'd said.

No problem. Translation often gets lost when communication is via the written word.

So true, Tibb. Voice inflection, facial expression - all of it can convey one thing in person but something else entirely when those things are missing and we only have the written word. I often amaze myself at how "well" I think I'm communicating, when it's being received on the other end in a completely unintended way. My DH and I experience this pretty often when we text (which is why we never discuss anything important that way). ;-)

Yes, my MIL (who I don't like) gave us some pottery which doesn't suit the house or my decorating style. Back in the day when I still cared what she thought of me, I bought what I call a transition or bridging piece - a piece of pottery that bridged the gap between the piece that she bought and my own decorating style. It worked.

So.... can you do that? Find a colour that bridges your colour scheme and the blanket that she made and then buy a pillow or a tchotchke that will connect the two.

We had one of those colored afghans at my mothers, made from one of her dear friends. I'm sure one of my siblings has it, just not sure who it is.

For a wedding gift, one of my cousins crocheted an afghan in a wedding ring pattern in ivory. It was one of my favorite gifts and it's on our bed every day. Maybe you could request MIL make you one like this:

https://www.google.com/imgres?imgurl=https://d2droglu4qf8st.cloudfront.net/2014/11/202532/Lattice-Crochet-Cable-Pattern-1_Large600_ID-807133.jpg%253Fv%253D807133&imgrefurl=http://www.allfreecrochetafghanpatterns.com/Crochet-Afghan-Tutorials/Crochet-Afghan-Patterns-Using-the-Popcorn-Stitch-Bobble-Stitch-Puff-Stitch-and-Cluster-Crochet-Stitch&h=720&w=600&tbnid=skGTOZQwhPcwvM:&docid=N1I3EOFI1VA1WM&ei=bpPpVqGjLoWlmwHM6pX4Aw&tbm=isch&ved=0ahUKEwihkpOv2cXLAhWF0iYKHUx1BT8QMwhMKCcwJw#h=720&w=600

1. Display it on his chair, and his chair only. Make him move it every time he has to sit in it.

2. Got any pets? Teach them how to play tug of war....

3. Got grandkids, change them on it. It will have to be washed until it frizzles away.

I agree, wash, wash, wash it. Hot water, lots of soap.

My MIL likes crafting and over the past 40 yrs. we've been recipients of many of the results of whatever she's been into at the time.

I think giving these gifts to family members at birthdays and holidays helps her justify the cost of pursuing changing hobbies. In any case, I promise you they rarely seem to be made with any thought to our decor or interests. For example, when she was into ceramics she gave me a set for serving sake done in a hot pink glaze. I've never drunk sake, rarely drink alcohol and my home is decorated in neutral tones. It seems passive-aggressive sometimes, as in, "Let's see where you put this!"

I used to find a spot for temporary display and then move things to the attic when I rearranged for the seasons. But now I ask DH if it's something he'd like for his office. If not, it goes straight to the attic.

A lot of cruel comments here and a lack of respect IMO. I would do my best to incorporate it somehow and appreciate the thought that went into it. If anyone goes to the time and trouble to hand-make something for someone, it should not be treated as garbage. If you could post a photo of it, I could possibly be convinced otherwise, however.

You can cause a lot of resentment by not allowing your spouse to have input on the decor of the house.

Those black and multi-color patchwork afghans were all the rage in both of my grandmothers' sets when I was in high school. I lived in fear of receiving one. One of my grandmas made a lot of afghans and gave them to her grandkids, but she had decent taste. Her afghans were cream colored and we all still have them. They've become treasures. We love them even if they don't fit seamlessly into our decor sensibilities. Shallow creature that I am, I'm pretty sure I wouldn't have loved a black and multi patchwork one the same way.

My MIL, on the other hand, had exquisite taste. (Either that or it matched mine almost exactly. Ha.) Everything she ever gave us for the home was beautiful. She wasn't always nice to DH and his sibs, but, wow, she chose beautiful gifts. DH barely notices them. Every now and then I remind him where they came from and we talk about his mom.

You love her and usually like her taste in decorating, so how about simply telling her your hubby adores his afgan, but you are having trouble making it blend into the living room decor and then ask her where she thinks it would work best- could be she meant it for his office all along.

I bought one of those afghans a couple of years ago. On purpose. I saw it hanging in the window of a charity shop in a small English town and I thought it was absolutely charming. I still remember that I paid a whopping 5GBP for it. It's currently draped across the daybed in the back bedroom. So, see? Not everyone thinks they're all that abhorrent. ;-)

My mother used to knit up a storm. She made umpteen afghans as gifts or on request. They weren't joined squares, but varying rows of colors. It was back in the day when throws weren't available in every department store year-round. However, she always asked what colors we wanted. Ours was shades of green and lived prominently in our living room because we liked it and it was useful as a throw. I still have it in a basket of blankets.

I do respect and am touched by work done by hand and would not want to hurt anyone's feelings by overtly rejecting it. Some stuff can be ugly though in the eye of the beholder. There's a suitable place for everything. For me, it's my guest bedroom. :)

I heard one time that the way a man treats his Mom is a good reflection on the way he will treat you. This man cherishes this gift and the time and love that went into it.

While I understand which forum we are on, there are things more important than decor. When you grow old, too old to see Pottery Barn catalogs, it sounds like he will cherish you even if you don't have the latest color on your walls.

If I visited and heard the story behind it as it was displayed, I would see it as a thing of beauty.

I think we have exactly the same afghan! Ours was made by DH's granny. For me it was a bit of a shock because my gran had one too, so it reminded me of her. It lived on the back of the couch, then folded on a chest nearby. You can love someone and not love everything they have made. On the other hand you can become attached to something just because of the person who made it. Does your MIL have an afghan like it in her home? (Sometimes they seem to run in families!) if yes, and it isn't in the living room, can you display it like her's? I'm thinking something like "we have it in our guest room too!"

"You can love someone and not love everything they have made. On the other hand you can become attached to something just because of the person who made it."

Maisie (6b)'s words ring so true to me.

Doesn't everyone have one of these afghans, lol! This is an interesting question because my SO and I often disagree about the use and display of "treasured" items, but it is usually ME who is trying to sneak the tacky tchotchke into the decor. As I mentioned in a previous post, SO and I solved it by him getting to have a "man cave" where all his family mementos reigned supreme (and his color choices) and I got to have my "girly room" where I indulged all my sentimental whims, including using my old doll crib to hold guest towels! My folks had the same issues, except with my dad, it was more likely to be one of his great "garage sale finds" or something he brought home from work (he was a scrap dealer). Mom used several strategies to incorporate the items--stashed in an out of the way location, resigned to designated display areas in less formal rooms, as part of a collection of similar items, and sometimes just "don't ask" prominent display that she had to live with (as in "don't ask what that item is doing there since it makes no sense").

I have two afghans, from both my maternal and paternal grandmothers. Here is a picture from the "girly room" with my Nancy Nurse baby doll on the bed, which creeped my SO out, but I got her the day my dad came home from the hospital to tell me I had a new baby brother. They got a baby and I got this doll that I had been wanting and wanting. She was there mostly as a joke but I think in the next house we get she's going in a more subtle spot! ;) The comforter is covered with some old Depression Era fabric that my grandmother covered it in for probably my mom's childhood bed, and the afghan at the foot was made by my other grandmother. I like to see them color coordinating on the bed! The area rug is an old rag one my grandmother made on her loom. SO hates that old ratty thing, but to me it is a treasure beyond compare!

I love afghans, and bright ones. I love and appreciate homemade gifts. What I want to know is what about the word "afghan" renders normally very competent and tasteful people colourblind? I have seen colour combos on afghans I have never seen anywhere before or since in humanity or nature.

Personally I think it's a suck it up and display it situation for at least a year or two.

I don't know how many hand knitted or crocheted afghans I've seen----and also quilts, for that matter--- that have been crafted with obvious love and admirable skill but in the most appalling colors and patterns! It's such a waste of time and energy to make a beautifully fashioned item that is just ugly. One wonders if it is a lack of thought that keeps the knitter from asking the recipient to choose the colors of his or her gift, or a conceit that believes everyone will love what is given regardless of taste. It's a mystery.

I agree that this item should be kept in your husband's domain, even if it is folded on a shelf in his closet where he will see it daily but no one else will have to. (Obviously I think people are far too sentimental about such things. If anyone gave me something that looked like the robe above I would probably burn it. )

I just hate these types of gifts but love that my family has chosen to create something special for me. For example, my sweet stepson recently made me a lovely wiener dog statue with bun. Bless his heart.

How did I handle it with DH? DH loved the statue. Just loved it. I told him my appreciation for the thought but expressed that as he knows I am bat guano crazy about things in the house. So how about I put it away and put it out when our son visits? He agreed because I am allowed to be controlling about the lack of clutter in my house as long as I admit this is truly a mental issue on my part as I am undoubtedly obsessive compulsive by not embracing his hoarding tendencies.

So when son comes over the statue is proudly displayed. I did mention to dear son that his dear sister has made me a lovely floral display and I do not know what to do with it. This is really my floral display, but if he comes over unannounced and sees the floral display (in wiener dog's spot) I believe he will not fault me with trying to please his sister.

I would admit to kidnapping the Lindbergh baby if it meant I could hide, give away or burn ugly gifts with impunity. :-)

Can you dye it dark espresso or brown? Then use it, and tell MIL that you LOVE her piece and wanted it to be in a color where you could have it in a room to enjoy each day.

I don't think MIL would like it if it was dyed. I don't like those afghans either, but I do appreciate all the time it takes to make one. I think she made it as a labor of love, as most of these gifts are intended. I have done my share of homemade crafts, I don't usually give them as gifts because I know that my taste isn't necessarily the recipients taste. To keep the peace, I'd put it out when she comes over, and put it away when she's gone. A simple compromise, and hopefully, she doesn't come over without calling first (that is another whole issue)

That's a great point. I also try to never give a gift that might force the person to keep it out, out of guilt or pull it out if I come over...or keep it at all....if they hate it. Been the recipient. It's very uncomfortable.

Shopgoodwill.com always has a plethora of afghans up for auction, and they go cheap. Really cheap. If they "go" at all, that is. This one, for example, is currently standing at $9.99 with no bids. I am a knitter - don't do crochet, but I know the amount of work that went into this. And even if using the most garish yarn colors imaginable, yarn can still be pricey once you add up the skeins that a larger project requires.

I have several afghans that both grandmothers made for me. I did use them for many years, but for now they are "resting" in the linen closet. I use as my excuse the fact that I don't want the cats furring them up, but in all honesty they just don't really complement my décor. Both of my grandmothers are gone now, but just knowing that I still have the special pieces they lovingly crafted especially for me gives me the warm fuzzies. (No pun intended.)

Thank you so much for all of the thoughtful responses. For those of you wondering ... It is very much in the vein of the afghans nosoccermom posted, although somewhat more random in its color blocks. While I am flummoxed by what happened to my M-I-L's usual extraordinary good taste, I have no doubt that this gift was made with love. I do not have to worry about M-I-L seeing the afghan as we live five hours away by car, with no coordinating airports nearby, and she is 81 years old -- we visit her now, not the other way around. It's just hubby and his preferences I need to deal with. (And mine.) I've tried moving it to the man cave/sun porch where things are a little more eclectic so it blends in better -- but he keeps dragging the darn thing back to the living room, where he likes to display it on the back of the sofa -- the one that sits in front of a giant window so the entire neighborhood gets a good look at it every time they drive by. While I appreciate all of the advice, I think the ones I've found most useful are those that reminded me that people are more important than things, and the suggestion to ask her to make another one for us in more appropriate colors. << This might actually work since the dog likes to look out of that same window. His black hairs show up strongly on the color blocks and his white hairs stand out against the black. You guys might have found the answer!

You know, the first pic I posted reminds me of a Mondrian, so maybe you can see it in that light?

Or even decorate around it?

So glad you're coming to terms with the afghan. I feel for you, though I'm also envious that you have a great relationship with your MIL and that she generally has good taste ;)

I was just yesterday complaining to a friend about the latest round of hideous clothing my MIL bought (unsolicited) for my kids to wear for Easter. My taste (simple, quality) couldn't be more different from my MIL's taste, so just about everything she buys for my kids makes me cringe. I can't stand polyester, super-frilly, trendy items, but if it makes my MIL (and kids) happy I just suck it up... and occasionally vent. She loves to shop, so also buys lots of things for us that we don't need. Even my DH doesn't care for the many tchotchkes she so generously gives, and there's no way we could display them all without covering every surface of our house. They're not homemade though, so that makes it easier to donate them once we admit they're not going to get used.

MIL's mother (DH's grandma) on the other hand, was a VERY prolific with her sewing, knitting, crocheting, and quilting, so we have no shortage of sentimental items from her. One afghan drapes over a Morris chair in DH's office right by the front door, and I don't like it (or think it "goes" with anything), but it brings DH joy so at least it serves a noble purpose. The one that gets the most frequent use is a HUGE one she made for DH during his college days (in the 80s) in a country blue and dusty rose pattern that matched his comforter at the time. Thankfully, it fits nicely into a bench in our living room when it's not in use, but it's our go-to blanket for chilly evenings in front of the fire. We used a patchwork quilt (ugly purple and gold printed squares) she made for him on our master bed for years until DH decided he was ready for a change. And we have more homemade throw pillows, blankets, throws, aprons, and baby items (no babies anymore) than I can count. At some point we need to donate them and hope they find homes where they'll get more use, but I'm sure we'll still have plenty of our favorite homemade items that remind us of his grandma.

My favorite thing she passed down to me was teaching me to crochet :) Though I haven't made time for it in years, I loved crocheting baby blankets for friends when I had more time (before kids), and I've taught my daughter who now enjoys crocheting little things. When I'm an old(er) lady with an empty nest, maybe I'll get back into it and make things for my kids and their spouses... Hopefully things they'll like or at least find cozy :-D

but he keeps dragging the darn thing back to the living room, where he
likes to display it on the back of the sofa -- the one that sits in
front of a giant window so the entire neighborhood gets a good look at
it every time they drive by.

Reminds me of A Christmas Story. ;)

My mother in law just passed away last week, funeral was Saturday. She made us several quilts and coverlets over the years. Father in law built a wooden quilt holder that holds several quilts, it's a stand with 3 rails to hang the folded quilts over. So I can put the various quilts on it as a means of display without them being in the way or overwhelming. Perhaps something like that would be less offensive to you but still allow him to have it available. I cherish all of her lovely handiwork. I am not decorating with that style either but I don't mind displaying it in her honor. I get lots of questions and comments about the stand and the quilts all positive.

Quilt rack

Here's a modern take on one similar to mine for a very reasonable price.

"display it on the back of the sofa -- the one that sits in front of a giant window so the entire neighborhood gets a good look at it every time they drive by"

If you've ever seen A Christmas Story, it totally reminds me of the scene where he put his award, the "leg lamp", in the window and she tries to hide her face with her hair as people are passing by.

I always kept and cherished everything my mother made for me, even if it was not to my taste - she liked to do needlepoint at one time - and I found places for even those items, even though she was much further away (central Texas while I was in San Francisco). Once as a child I was not eating lunch that my mother had made for me, and I told her that I did not like it, which made her cry. I never made that mistake again.

OTOH, I would make clothes for my mother - silk and linen blouses and skirts plus rayon house dresses, and she would complain that the silk blouses had to by dry cleaned and that the linen blouses and skirts had to be ironed, but eventually she found that it was not that difficult to iron linen, and I purposely designed them so that they would be easy to iron. She asked me to make something out of polyester and I absolutely refused. When I was younger, she had a maid who did her ironing for her, and she never wanted to do it herself.

Darcy, I'm glad you got helpful responses that helped reframe your view on displaying the afghan. I'm sorry that my post above was a knee-jerk reaction to a completely different situation where the giver appears to dare you to not display something she made.

But I am wondering if your DH grew up in a home where a handmade afghan was always draped over the back of a sofa (I saw that in many homes growing up), so that in addition to his wanting to honor his mother's gift it actually means "Home" to him.

My DD married someone whose parents & grandparents hung pictures of family members all around the living rooms. Mismatched frames of weddings, HS yearbook pictures, dept. store baby photos with fake backgrounds, etc. lined all the walls of the home he grew up in and those of his extended family. He was initially quite bothered when my DD didn't follow suit in their home. He came to terms with it, but in his mind hanging the photos everyone gave you was just something you did that made a house your home.

I guess I am lucky that my MIL didn't do sewing or crocheting! I can just imagine what she would have given us. Her taste in decorating was not mine. I guess for some people, they just assume if they like it, everyone else must too. My mother did crochet some baby sweaters and blankets for my kids, and I treasure those, the kids are long since grown up and mom has passed on, but I knew then as now that those were a labor of love and very special to me because of that.

I have things in my home that my mom had made and gifted to me and the same with my MIL to DH or me. None of them fit or match my décor, but I display them as I will forever treasure the love and sentiment behind them. I could never tell my DH he could not display the things that mean so much to him and likewise. For me it's the personal and treasured things that help make a house a home.

Sounds like you've come to peace with having the afghan out. Before I read that, I was wondering if your DH would be good with having the afghan in your master bedroom?

My MIL once gave me a plastic goose with clothes to dress it in. I put it on the front porch twice when she came to visit; after that it went to a neighbor's garage sale. Not a hard decision since she didn't make any of it.

It's nice that DH loves his mom....but DH should cut the cord. He should consider how you feel about your home. I have the last quilt that my grandma ever made. It's not made perfectly, it's hand-tied and not my style. I still love it and it means a lot to me. But, I don't have it on display. It's folded with the other blankets we have and I bring it out when needed during the winter months.

"He came to terms with it, but in his mind hanging the photos everyone gave you was just something you did that made a house your home."

Basic training for spouses :-) My DH had some rather extraordinary ideas about furnishing a house himself.

I'm late to the party but this thread sure has been an interesting read! Can I say that I totally get why your husband loves that afghan? I'm a crocheter and believe me when I say that a handmade afghan is nothing less than a true gift of love. Not only do they take many many hand aching hours to make, they can also be quite expensive to do.

I have special memories of my grandmother teaching me to crochet when I was 10 or so. She once made us a blue ripple afghan that we loved and I can still remember how all of us kids would fight over it. Now that I have nieces and nephews, I wanted to keep the tradition and crocheted ripple afghans for those family members. My husband liked the first one I made so much, he insisted we keep it. It doesn't match our decor at all but as Turquoise Rose so eloquently said, the quirky things can make a space feel more homey. It works in that regard for us and I'm hoping that it also rings true for my sisters homes as well. (They were made in each families favorite colors but don't necessarily match their decor)

Might I add that it's only an afghan you're dealing with, if you could see my living room you'd understand why I say that. Our living room is rectangular in shape and in one corner we have a huge sized recliner that is facing my husbands reading table so he can watch streaming tv and read on his monitor. In my decor world, it's a monstrosity that is completely out of place, but in my husband's world it's his happy spot. It drives me crazy inside, but since literally every other space in the house is to my liking, I suck it up.

My afghans:

The one we kept

For one sister and her family:

My mothers

find a pretty basket to house the rolled up or folded afghan, it will minimize the offending colours and in time you won't notice it.

Luk, your post reminded me of Frasier's dad Martin's chair on the show "Frasier." Don't know if you ever watched that show, but the character had a very high end penthouse that he shared with his dad who had his old ratty recliner right in the middle of this very stylish decor. Lots of funny episodes about the offending recliner. It was certainly a "look" for the place!