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10 years ago
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what I know and don't know about cedar decks
Comments (4)Mary, I too am in Toronto and am so conflicted by all the info out there. We will have our cedar deck installed in about 3 weeks (actually, I'm thinking of putting it off until next spring). You mentioned that your deck was installed in April and that you probably stained it too soon. How soon after installation did you stain it? I do not want the cedar to "grey", instead I want to seal it and stain it so that it remains a nice cedar colour and just protect it from UV rays. We have a southern exposure and no shade, and the sun just eats away at all our wood....See MoreDon't know what to do about not liking my SD
Comments (4)I'm sorry it took me so long to get back to this board. I thought I would get an email or something telling me that there were replies, so I didn't think anyone had! Thank you both for your insight. I do think what you are both saying is right on the money, except for the jealousy thing. BM uses my SD's bad behavior as way to get more attention. The more she promotes the bad behavior, the more attention BM gets from outsiders. Why are the children with BM? That's a good question. My husband and I have taken our complaints and observations to my SD's counselor (when she was in counseling for a short time). We were told nothing. The counselor took the pages and pages of log I had written documenting the BM's behavior and basically took it under advisement. I have also taken this information to the local Social Services, and gotten no where. They couldn't prove it (the car incidents) and the rest was hearsay. So they could do nothing. Without that behind us, there is no way we would win custody in court, especially in the conservative state we live in. We resolved to be involved in every aspect of their schooling and medical health, as is allowed to my husband by divorce decree, and to me by him. Because if we couldn't control what went on at the mother's house, at least we could make sure that we would be involved with whatever happened at school and the doctor. That way, if we believed that incidents and behaviors that happen there were caused by BM's behavior, we could mention it and have it documented to use in court later if need be. Yes, we did talk to SD about her behavior at Christmas. There is no way something like that would be ignored here. As for discipline, she has gotten some spankings, I guess maybe twice in the last year. Mostly she gets time-outs or stands in the corner for 10 minutes or so. But I think the whole weekend is like a time-out for her because the other kids won't play with her. We bought her activity books, art supplies, reading books, etc, but I know she gets bored with all that and really just wants to play. But she's so unpleasant to be around, the other kids will play with her (because I make them give her a chance) for about 20 minutes and end up telling her to go do something else because she's making them angry. I feel bad for her because I know she has to be lonely, but I can't spend every minute entertaining her either. My husband and I play some board games with her, and we take the dog for walks and such, but then she's like a "cling-on" and we can't get her to go do something else. I'm sorry this is so long, and I hope I don't sound whiny. I'm just frustrated. It's gotten better than when I first posted, because I've had to say that if her behavior gets out of control, she has to go back to her mothers before the boys. I know that's mean, but she had my daughter (who is 12) so upset by the things she was saying, my daughter was literally crumpled up on the floor crying and telling me she had to get SD away from her. That was the final straw. I have guilt, of course, because that just means that SD goes back to spend more time with BM, but I also know that all of this is not fair to me or the other kids either. I'm damned if I do, damned if I don't. Thank you again for all your input. I do appreciate it....See MoreTree you don't know about, with beautiful yellow flowers
Comments (1)Good looking tree in bloom,in leaf,or bare- nice sculptural look. Like a Pseudobombax- Pachyra type tree. Are you growing that? How much cold could it take?...See MoreWhat I now know about Persicarias that the descriptions don’t tell you
Comments (17)I purchased a persicaria "painter's pallette" from Lazy S, and it will be arriving this spring. The colorful foliage was a draw, but I bought this particular variety because it is rated down to zone 3, so I'm not worried about its ability to tolerate our Vermont sub-zero temperatures. Most of the other varieties were only rated down to zone 5, so they would never survive here....See More- 10 years ago
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ravencajun Zone 8b TX