When friends ask how you are doing
I always feel it's my job to tell them I'm OK. Because I am OK and because they are worried that I am not OK. Still, I could tell them I am not forgetting and that I am weeping every day even though it's almost a year. I don't tell them. And I don't want to assume that they don't know that. So there is no point in saying anything but, "I'm fine." Most people are worried about provoking tears so if that happens I have to comfort them -- "It's OK."
When my husband went to the hospital, somehow I was sure he'd come home and then we'd work on his other health problems. So even though I was afraid, I blocked it out. The doctor thought he was doing well and he was scheduled to come home but passed away the day before. And since I thought he was coming home the next day, I wasn't properly afraid for him. I didn't say sweet things to him. I didn't worry about him and comfort him. It's almost the anniversary of his passing and now I remember what we were doing last year at this time, getting ready for the hospital, tests, all that stuff. I'll live with that and pray we meet again.