I have a peninsula, with a 5, 9 and 11 year old. I LOVE that they can park there at night right after dinner for homework hour(s), and I'm right at hand to help if needed while I do dinner dishes, clean up, etc. The peninsula is 90 inches long so plenty comfortable for all three to sit at and spread out their notebooks, etc. While many don't like the aesthetics of a peninsula as much as an island, I really like feeling 'connected' versus having them off on an island (literally) while doing their work. I find it super-productive. We also have a large Farmhouse table with seating for 8 on the open side of our kitchen, so there is plenty of alternative space for larger groups to gather. However, arts and crafts and other projects are at the peninsula, because my granite counters are much more forgiving then my wood tabletop for paint spills, etc.

Not sure what the teenage years will bring, but if anything, I think I'll still prefer the intimacy of the peninsula.

For cooking purposes,(I cook A LOT but don't bake) I, love having the huge run of counter connected to my sink area. If they want to help, I set them up with a cutting board or bowl at the counter without having to have it drip across the isle.

If you are a more independent chef, I don't see why an island would be any better. If anything, I feel like it's more likely that teens will sit around the island while you're cooking at other areas so use the island as a hang-out area while you're trying to cook, IMHO.

Also, wanted to add that many islands have the main sink at a window, opposite the island, which means while you are working at the sink your back is typically to the kids/guests seated at the island. I like that I'm able to have conversation/eye contact with my kids while they are seated at the counter and I'm working at the sink.

Thanks for the feedback so far!

In my current house, our perimeter counters are chock-full of appliances, so we've never used those surfaces for any kind of prepping, or anything, really. I always use the island facing anyone sitting, except when washing dishes. It's my goal to keep counters clear at the new house, but I don't know if I can get into really using the counters. Right now, I imagine I'll gravitate toward the peninsula for everything (the range is right next to it, and we plan to move the fridge across the aisle from it).

If we put it an island, it would be purely a workstation without seating. But I'm wondering if that would be a mistake in the long run. When working there, I'd be facing the main entry ways into the kitchen (main hallway, basement garage, and dining room). Working at the penisula or perimeter counters, I'd have my back to those entries. At the peninsula, I'd be facing the kitchen table, the doorway to the family room, and the french doors to the screened-in porch.

cpartist -- I've been trying to become more flexible in the kitchen... but I have so much trouble with the mess and inaccuracy (overfilling a measuring cup, pouring it from too high so it splatters, etc.). Though my 9yo did make apple crisp by himself this weekend! I just peeled and chopped the apples, he measured everything (and I didn't even double-check). My thinking is that if I can get everything done quickly and without a mess, I can be done sooner and have more social and fun time.

I agree with cpartist. My mom wouldn't let anyone in the kitchen. When I moved out at age 20, I had to teach myself how to cook with "The I Never Cooked Before Cookbook". I didn't even know how to make hard-boiled eggs or fry eggs or how to make boxed Mac'n Cheese. Baking? Don't even ask about my first attempt at making gravy! The spoon was almost glued into the pot. So my kids were helping in the kitchen as soon as they could hold a cup steady and wield a wooden spoon. Don't miss out on the chance to build those memories.

Back to your question - I think whether one has an island, peninsula, separate table, or none of these all depends on the kitchen itself and what works best in the space and for the family's needs. Children and teens usually fit just fine at any of them.

A ruined meal becomes family lore later in life and something to laugh about. Kitchen's can be cleaned up. If the meal comes out bad, pizza can be ordered. Both are a lot cheaper than losing your kids emotionally. Shooing children out of the kitchen also becomes memories but not ones we want them to carry into adulthood. Just saying.

And yes, I know how hard it is not to want to shoo them away at times. I have perfectionist tendencies and had to catch myself time and again with all sorts of things. Save the need to be the "chef" in the kitchen for those times you have company. At those times let the boys set the table for you, sweep the floors, grab stuff out of the pantry, etc. Trust me, I know how hard it is.

The funny thing is that I wish I had the patience then that I now have. Sigh.

BTW: Mine are now 27 and 23. It seems like it was just yesterday that they were your children's ages.

Ok enough on the soapbox. How about posting your kitchen layout for the gurus here to help with as well as you letting them know your needs and wants.

funkycamper -- my love of cooking came from being in the kitchen when I was young, so I really want my kids to love cooking early on... it's just hard to put into practice! The comment I read about teenagers and island seating really had me thinking that things might change a lot as the kids get bigger, but maybe it was more about how parents want more spaces that their kids can share as they get older, since teens retreat so much otherwise.

cpartist -- I do plan to post a layout, but I don't have exact measurements at this point (and won't until we move in). I have the realtor-generated floorplan, which is not accurate, and my photos.

I've never had an island, but I have had teenagers. By the time they were in middle school (possibly earlier), they did all their homework in their rooms, or using the computer in the family room.

We eat most of our meals together at the dining room table, and that's where conversations happen. When you make that a habit when the kids are 5, it continues into and through the teen years.

DH is the cook in our house, I like to bake but don't do it very often. Neither of our sons was that interested in helping out in the kitchen (except for required setting and clearing the table). They are in college now; one loves to cook, the other loves to bake.

We bonded with them in so many other ways: camping, skiing, fishing, playing board games, watching movies. At age 21, they still enjoy hanging out with us.

I used to have a peninsula, and currently have an island; after the remodel we will have a slightly bigger island. Both work for me as long as there is seating included. I loved having my kids do homework close by while prepping for dinner, or eating their breakfast while I finished up school lunches. I also liked having them involved in cooking, which was something my mother never allowed when I was growing up. I agree with AnnKH- at some point around middle school homework gets done in their rooms. My youngest daughter is a senior in HS and she will hang out at the island (when she feels like it) to chat about her school day or discuss college essays. I love this time with her since she will be leaving soon, but also because the rest of the time she is barricaded in her room!

I much prefer to have people (kids or adults) sitting OUTSIDE the kitchen at a raised bar / peninsula.

Does island seating become more important as kids get older?

not in my house. My twin sons are 13. They have most of their homework on their school issued iPads and need/want privacy. When I am quizzing them for tests we are doing it in the family room. Very little studying goes on in the kitchen these days.

About 4x a week we have dinner together if it's a good week because of sports and other activities. That is at the table, not the island which I find uncomfortable.

We have already raised two daughters and they loved being in the kitchen with me. I had fantasies that my boys and I would do the same. They never had any interest in the kitchen, unless it was throwing stuff at each other. So, they got shooed out on a fairly frequent basis as well.

Sooooo, nope island seating might be skipped altogether in my next house.

I have a 4 year old girl and will have a closed off kitchen when we build. My DD likes to help me cook, and I love helping her which will continue.

I learned to cook from my grandma who was an amazing cook and just had a long L shaped kitchen. I think it really depends more on the personalities. My grandma was a delivery room nurse during WW2 and has the patience of a saint. She loved it when I wanted to watch/learn from her and she would share stories from her childhood. My mom not so much because her U shaped kitchen felt very cramped, and her persoanlity is very different.

We do eat together at the table for most of our meals which will continue. I also had to do homework and study in silence so I dont know how DD will be.

I just posted a long message on Texas_Gem's thread about training your family to use the kitchen, but the short of it is that, because his household had very traditional gender roles growing up, nobody insisted my husband help with the cooking or anything else domestic. When he became an adult and lived alone, for total lack of any relevant knowledge or skill, he ate nothing but frozen, processed junk. Whatever could be microwaved or purchased already assembled. He wound up with dangerously high cholesterol before the age of thirty, despite being young, lean (a miracle of genetics, given how he ate), and active. Just his eating habits were THAT BAD. Worst I've ever seen.
He also spent an extraordinary amount of money eating out all the time because he had no other option.

It's been such a lesson to me. Making sure your kids learn how to make complete, healthy meals (every step, including shopping for the ingredients) before they leave home is up there with making sure they know to brush their teeth and wear helmets and spend money responsibly. REALLY important, basic life skills.

As a parent of teenagers, I'd actually value more a kitchen that really comfortably allows for more than one cook in the kitchen (two complete prep areas, each with sinks, lots of counter everywhere and wide aisles) most of all. Island/peninsula seating is nice and social, but it's designed to keep visitors in the kitchen OUTSIDE the work zones and sitting. That is a nice feature, but if you're concerned about what is best for older children/teenagers, I'd be more focused on making sure there is room for them INSIDE the work zones.

As a parent of teenagers, I'd actually value more a kitchen that really comfortably allows for more than one cook in the kitchen (two complete prep areas, each with sinks, lots of counter everywhere and wide aisles) most of all. Island/peninsula seating is nice and social, but it's designed to keep visitors in the kitchen OUTSIDE the work zones and sitting. That is a nice feature, but if you're concerned about what is best for older children/teenagers, I'd be more focused on making sure there is room for them INSIDE the work zones.

Perfect answer!

My husband is also an avid cook, so we'd already plan for a multi-cook kitchen. He is remarkably patient with the boys and already involves them in making stuff from waffles to fresh pasta. I also grew up in a household where men didn't do anything in the kitchen, including refilling the ice cube tray...and want to make sure my boys know how to cook. I just keep waiting until they're a little older. Well... I guess they're older NOW! My son really did an incredible job with the apple crisp. I should go through more of my recipes and show him other things, especially in the new kitchen.

I think that accessible multi use space is far more important now with two teens than it ever was when they were young. What most people here don't seem to focus on is how little time teens are home and the need to work around their schedule. Due to lots of practices/sporting events/etc, my kids are not usually home at traditional dinner times. We often eat in shifts but I do make sure no one eats alone and seating in a kitchen would be huge for that. A kid could eat and work on homework/talk about the day/etc while the adult is cleaning kitchen or getting stuff together for the crock pot in the morning or whatever. I have a galley kitchen so no seating in the actual kitchen, but I have a large table just at the end of the galley and my kids spread out there and eat/do homework/tell me about their day. It would be nice if it were actually IN the kitchen so that I could make eye contact with them more. Whatever the seating situation is, I would lobby for easy access and lots of room to spread out dinner and homework together.

My two teen sons sit at the island frequently.

It is definitely part of their morning ritual. I am on one side sipping my coffee and quizzing them about whats happening after school. We make sure everyone has the needed supplies, forms, clothes, etc. while they sit and eat their breakfast before taking off.

After activity snacking occurs there too. I will pop out of my in-home office to see one or both of them sprawled there.

My boys often do their homework there, or at the dining room table, or in their rooms- it varies. The junior is more likely in his room.

You need to spend significant time with your teens. Whether they're sitting at an island or not is entirely irrelevant.

I have (uncomfortable) island seating plus a breakfast table just steps beyond (yeah, not the best plan). My kids seem to divide their time equally between the two. Or they just stand near the island.

In our new house we're not planning island seating -- just the small table. Instead we're going to have more storage on that other side of the island.

You need to spend significant time with your teens. Whether they're sitting at an island or not is entirely irrelevant.

^this! The home we raised our kids in had no seating in the kitchen except the stool I sometimes perched on while working. This didn't limit our conversations a bit.

Growing up, we had a breakfast alcove. There never was an island. The thing is to make sure you have meals you share together, a few at least each week - and what you are sitting at makes no difference whatsoever, so long as you all are sitting and can hear each other.

I grew up having family meals, and continue to do that now with my kids. They're not into sports or anything, so we always eat together. My husband gets home too late to join us, hence the move. Hopefully he'll be able to join us most days in the new place.

In the new house, there are three stools at the peninsula plus room for a table that seats 6-8 right next to the peninsula. Then our dining room right next to the kitchen, with another large table for 8-10 people. No lack of seating! But I wasn't sure if there was something different about island seating in particular.

Thanks, all!

We had bar seating when I was a teen. I never felt as comfortable seated there compared with a dining table. My kitchen was remodeled three years ago for a retirement home where I live alone. Bar seating is still not my thing, but boy am I glad that seating at the peninsula was included. Both the grandchildren and their parents seem to prefer the counter stools. Also, it's nice visiting with friends and family when I'm cooking or cleaning up yet the peninsula keeps them out of the kitchen.

My son is three and a half, a keen eater, and also keen to help out making something. On a day that I am a bit rush preparing, he is not allowed near the kitchen, but that's different when it is a relax afternoon on the weekend.

When there is no visitor, the breakfast bar is where the action is. His stool is the same model as ours except that his is 74cm tall, and ours are 63cm tall (Ikea Henriksdal). The plan is to keep cutting his stool 1 - 2 cm a year until he his tall enough for the same height. For half of those dinner rolls, he was helping out rolling into a ball, like a play dough at day care.

Chanop -- great pic! I was never really able to let my older son help when he was little because he has special needs. It's really only this year (he's 9) that he's able to do things even close to properly. If I'd given him a rolling pin before now, he would've swung it around until it broke a window or a nose, or bashed a knob off the range, etc. We could never predict what he was going to do. He also could not follow directions at all ("No" meant nothing to him until about a year ago).

I guess that's really what stifled my desire to have my boys in the kitchen. Older son was just too difficult and unpredictable until now. And now, my younger son (6) is a speeding bullet! He vibrates and can't sit still or keep his arms in place. They're always waving around, knocking things over.

But your post reminded me of something both my boys have been GREAT at for the past year: making homemade corn tortillas! I roll the balls, and they take turns using the tortilla press. Somehow, there's never been a struggle having them help with that.

And...we do that at the island.

I never had an island while my kids were young, and now that we have one, the kids are college age and older. I find that I prefer cooking alone and so for me, the island without seating is going to work fine. We have plenty of room at the table.

I think that in some configurations seating at an island can be quite a problem. It's one thing to have the kids doing homework at either a peninsula or the island it is another to have them in your way. You've described the configuration as narrow, with a table nearby, why can't they be doing their homework at the table? I don't think that the importance of island seating increases with age I think that at all times making sure that seating does not interfere with the flow required in the kitchen zones is extremely important.

We've never had seating at the island, instead insisting that everyone sit down at the adjacent table together for meals at least once a day. Seating for meals where you don't actually look at each other seems like a bad idea. I'm a big fan of learning by doing, so our kids were encouraged to get on the other side of the island and cook, not just watch.