Hi Berniceann, My mother passed away on 8 June this summer. I miss her a great deal but I truly feel I will see her again when it's my time to go Home to God. I felt like you are now when my dad died young from cancer at 59. I was 21. Everything felt horrible to me. Time is a healer. It took me 2 years to start letting go and thinking of my dad at peace and no longer suffering. I agree with getting some help. At the very least can you talk to you doctor about this? Call and book a long appointment. I feel for you. My Mom was 81 and unwell for many years. This time I found myself grieving before she passed on to be with my Dad. I grieved for her loss of independence, zest and being the Mom I knew when she had better health. Your Mom would be very sad to see you feeling this way. If she were here would she not want you to get some help? Did your Mom have a favorite perfume, soap? Sometimes that helps. There is a great book called Echos of the Soul by E. Bodine. A friend lent it to me and I found it very comforting. It may be available in your library. Please keep talking to us. We are here for you. Are you an only child? Is there another family member you can talk to? I can be contacted through my members page if you want to talk. I understand your pain and I know depression. There is light. There is love for you. Please email me if you would like to just talk. I'm a great listener. Hugs to you, Peggy

tos~ How she and her best friends have maintained their friendship, despite the miles, is a source of amazement to all of us. They have a very special relationship and they are all so close. I was just speaking to one of the other mothers last pm, and we both continue to marvel at the strength of their bond. They make it a point to spend lots of time together whenever they can (when she's here for visits). My stepson is best friends with the 2 older brothers in the families, and we adults are friendly as well...have occasional cookouts, pool parties, etc. Although, I think the kids friendship has fostered the adult/family gatherings.... As far as her friends in NC...the majority of her non-school time is spent in dance class, so she is friendly with the girls she dances with. But she says that she really doesn't have any super-close school friends that she "hangs out with", etc. She rarely has sleepovers or talks of anything she does with other kids there. Mostly she is at the dance studio...she's a very accomplished dancer. Lack of good friends there was actually one of the things she discussed when she brought up the idea of coming here for high school. So tos, it's your turn....are you a step-parent? Are you a NCP? What would you have told your daughter in the "hypothetical" situation I posted?...seriously WWYD? Like you, I have no intention of EVER divorcing, but I can "imagine" what I'd do if I were faced with a similar situation....so, please, tell us what you'd say. For the record, my DH fought the move in court. Michigan is a no-fault divorce state, and spousal infidelity has NO bearing on custody, whatsoever. Michigan is VERY pro-mom, despite the fact the courts say they have no "gender bias". Essentially, the only time a mother does not win custody is if she can be deemed "unfit", due to drugs or extreme circumstances. Even homeless mothers win custody here...since we have many women/children shelters, etc. It's really disturbing that the courts do not really have the best interest of the child as their main focus. At the time of his ex-wife's affair, the children were ages 1 & 4. Since they were babies (toddler) he felt that the kids should stay in their home, and with his work schedule at the time, it just made more sense for her to stay in the house. He got an apartment closeby with the understanding that it would be temporary while they "worked on it". Obviously, the outcome was different than the plan. Trust me, if he could have changed the outcome of the custody situation, he would have. Initially, they had joint custody, 50/50 split. When she decided to move, she filed for sole physical, joint legal. He fought it and lost. The judge thought that her soon-to-be new husbands job promotion was more important than children having close, easy access to both parents. That was the sole deciding factor...her husbands increased income. So they can use spouse income to decided custody, but they won't use it to calculate child support...go figure...great court system.

Hi Lisa11310, I am sad that your sister is having such a difficult time over this experience. My regrets and condolences to all of your Mom's loved ones and I pray that they may find the peace of heart that they need at this stressful time. As for your wish to hold no gathering of loved ones and friends following your death ... ... don't you think that they will want to have a gathering to honour your memory? After my brother's death, some friends wanted to come from some distance, so they held a memorial service about a week or 10 days later, with a table at the front holding a vase with a single red rose. My father died in a car smash a few miles from the farm where he'd lived and moved away from, 40 years earlier. Some friends, mainly family near where he'd lived for a number of years, wanted to attend a gathering, and his former mother-in-law was to have a 100th birthday celebration on a Saturday about 10 days later, so we held a memorial service on that Friday evening. They held another later, near the area in which he'd lived for the most recent 40 years. Folks in both areas indicated their pleasure that they'd had the opportunity for a gathering to honour his memory. Actually, such gatherings are not morbid affairs, but rather a happy time, for if there's a reception at the same time, many attenders have the opportunity to refer to some happy occasion that they remembered, relative to the deceased. Often the loved ones find such an event one that they look back on with satisfaction ... saying that it helped with their process of healing ... brought some focus to it, so to speak. They held such a gathering for my ex-wife, as well, about 10 days after the event (she'd fought cancer for most of a year) and my brother and his wife flew 1,500 miles or so for that weekend, as did some of her relatives from a distance. My children found that quite gratifying. In all three of those situations, I think that the person had been cremated, not that that fact has much bearing on the situation, I think. I think that many of us like to have an occasion related to the leave-taking of someone that we've known and loved, rather than just leaving such leave-taking being sort of left up in the air. ((((((Sister ... and Lisa ... plus other loved ones feeling bereft)))))) ole joyful

ALWAYS keep cuttings in the shade. Also, remove all the leaves except maybe one tiny one, and cut that in half. There are no ROOTS to support the leaves. The cuttings aren't dead, but take some out of the water and try a few of the suggested methods in this thread, including potting soil and perlite or vermiculite. But first remove all the leaves. Sun is bad for fresh cuttings until they get some nice roots. Even then, once potted, they need to transition to full sun. It's like a fair skinned baby (and these are babies) spending 12 hours in the sun. 3rd degree burns!