How generous of you to be 'willing' to cover postage for the free plants you hope to score. I didn't see anything listed for you in Rate and Review, or any other forum, so I'm guessing you may be another person who joined GW to see how much she can get. I hope I'm wrong.

Not sure what u mean. I've only had one interaction on here. She mailed the start. I put 3 bucks in a ty card and mailed it back. I would like to get starts and I'm willing to cover postage. Didn't post asking for snide comments. U were new here once too.

I was under the impression if I have nothing to trade, covering postage was necessary. I guess if someone could explain how this works that would be great.

Yes, I was new, and I TRADED and EXCHANGED, not asked for free plants. Some of us actual purchase plants to get started and then trade from there. I had been gardening a long time before I joined. I have given tons of free things to people, but only people who at least bothered to fill out their trade pages and offered to trade something, even if it wasn't what I was looking for.
Generally speaking, it is fine to accept offers of free plants but not to create a thread asking for free plants. The forums grow weak when too many people are out only to get things. Believe it or not, there are people who join GW only to see how much they can get, many join and immediately post asking for free seeds or plants. Some of them don't even bother to fill out trade lists or where they live or what zone they are in, they are in such a rush to get whatever.

I have 6 house plants total and one of those is a start I received off here. I was told this was acceptable. So I apologize if I offended anyone asking for starts. I wasn't asking u to part with ur favorite plant only a sliver of it. At one point my house was full and my trade list was long but after losing my husband unexpectedly in 2012 and moving my 10 yr old and myself to a homeless shelter plants didn't really seem to matter. We r now in our own house but finding an extra $10 to go to a garden center isn't always that easy. I'm taking back my request for starts. I'll continue to take care of the few I already have and be happy with them. Hope u have a great day.

Hello All, The regulations on the Garden Web Forum state that the purpose of the forum is for exchanges or trades, NOT to ask for plant material in exchange for postage. The more polite protocol would be to come on the forum, read the postings, share, let people get to know you. But not just to come on and post one time, as the first person did. So that is why the second person responded as she did. She has gotten burned a few times, as I have. Sure, we all bend the rules now and then, however, the second person was within her rights to post as she did. If someone comes on in violation of the guidelines, then they put themselves at risk of being responded to in a way that points out the error made and how others feel about it.

Joanne

Agree with fortyseven_gw. I find it to be poor Gardenweb etiquette to break the rules and ask for free plants or seeds for postage. There are plenty of SASE offers at any given time. I would like to see newbies on this site become invested members that take the time to read and follow the rules, and become valuable additions to our community. In fact, here is a thread I started in the Seed Exchange to encourage such:

[Attention Newbies thread[(https://www.houzz.com/discussions/attention-newbies-please-read-dsvw-vd~3371179)

I don't disagree with you or fortyseven. If you read everything I wrote I said that. We all agree that her request was not in the correct format.

BUT instead of being condescending, a little understanding might have gone a longer way. I would have supported the reply had it been in the spirit of understanding and education.

Yes we were all new once. I am sure I have made mistakes also. Let's help each other instead of "guessing you may be another person who joined GW to see how much she can get." That is judgmental.

Trust me, Brenda probably won't make that mistake again, but if we are going to let someone speak to HER that way, then we had better appoint someone to clean up the rest of the forum.

People offer postage ALL the time for different reasons. It is all over the forum. I think it is not wrong to "correct" a person,,,,,,but please do it nicely. That is my only problem with all of this.

I feel I have said enough and explained myself as thoroughly as I can. I will not enter this discussion anymore. I do however, appreciate the input. Rosie

brendaspergin - i think you got a bit of extra frustration directed at you, because this issue has become very noticeable since the switchover.... where it seems we lost a number of our veteran members, and suddenly are flooded with posts of people looking for things with nothing to offer. it is quite frustrating, because these forums were very active with many people having a lot of really nice stuff, some extremely rare and interesting plants- and offering it up for trade. now theres way more people that have nothing, and break the stated rules by ASKING for free plants/seeds.

just to say it plainly, it is fine to offer plants/seeds for postage only, it is acceptable to respond to and gratefully receive plants/seeds from other people's postings for postage only, but it is not acceptable to ask for free plants/seeds. if someone is open to sending without compensation, they will state so plainly- it will say for SASE, for postage, usually in the title. if it does not say that, then it is unacceptable to sort of push on them, to have to shut you down.

i think this is not as confusing as it may seem to some, because it seems somewhat common courtesy, it doesnt seem polite to put people on the spot like that....forcing them to have to say no, feel awkward, or whatever else. i think in general, anywhere you go, this would be considered a bit rude. and so even for posts that just shout out to people in general, it is sort of like that.

and most importantly, the community doesnt want a bazillion postings looking for plants with nothing to offer, with few to no posts offering real trades. that would push away our most valuable members, who bring a lot to the table, and be replaced by lots of people who have nothing to trade, this would not facilitate exchanges!

offering postage is not offering a trade/exchange, that is a FREE GIFT, there is no "compensation" in a postage offer. the "compensation" most people are looking for here, are interesting plants/seeds, new additions to the gardens, that is why they are willing to put forward their trades and plants.

so yes, we shamelessly expect "compensation well above postage", we want compensation in the form of other plants/seeds we dont have, for the ones we have more of...

this is worth MORE than money =)

quote brendaspergin ---> I am wondering if I was supposed to compensate well above postage? Some members seem to think so.

here's a link to the rules for the exchange forums.

How do I leave the forum?

Brenda, I would not leave. On another forum I was in your shoes not about postage but because I offered my opinion on my soil mix that works for me. Apparently it was not the "right way" to mix up soil and holy cow, I was chewed up and spit out. I just chose to never join that particular conversation again.

You have been offered a lot of advice on how to to this the correct way. Take the good advice, learn from it, pull up your bootstraps and continue on. Use this as a learning experience.

Look at the posts, you actually have been supported. Good Luck! Rosie

If leaving the forum is what you want, you just did - by default and by never posting again. I hope that doesn't happen based on this one post. But the cause for the uproar by many may simply lie in semantics. Words, phrases, intent...once they are "filtered" by the internet and "cleansed" of all emotion, are open to any number of interpretations by those who read them. I've had it happen many times before (believe me!) and it may happen here.

I think many on this forum (including me) read the words "I'm willing to cover postage" as this: "If you have something I want, I'll do the very least I can to get it". I also understand those who think otherwise, but I'll offer this..

I have attended the Central Alabama Plant Swap for over 15 years, and the very first thing I stressed is that "EVERYONE has SOMETHING to TRADE", even if it be your first-born child or your mother-in-law. If you think otherwise, please take the time to read the Exchange Page of someone with which you hope to establish a trade with. Many (me included) are willing to trade for as little as a bag of manure, a trinket, a stone or piece of ironwork. Driftwood, picture-frames, glassware - anything that states "my intentions are good".

If we agree to send something for postage it is somehow unnoticed by many that we are agreeing to sacrifice our time to spend gathering, cleaning, labeling, boxing and addressing, then traveling to the post office...just to make sure that some anonymous person with "nothing" to trade can then pay 49 cents to "compensate" us for all of the above and then have the option to trash us on the Rate & Review forum.

Yeah...that's totally fair (dripping with sarcasm). But then again, I guess I got angry in the meantime and negated my original intent ;-D

Peace to all....

brendaspergin, I am a newbie here also, and I don't think you did anything wrong. I, too, know what it is like to be in a financially challenging situation. Most of us go through something like that at one time or another in our lives. It is perfectly acceptable to ask for help in a community like this--which is really supposed to focused on helping one another.

I am sympathetic to your situation and very sorry for the loss of your husband and the upheaval it caused in your family. I am sure this past year has been incredibly difficult for you both.

I don't have a lot of things to share (yet), but I will gladly share everything I have with you. I hope others will try and be more understanding.

I am very sorry you have had a negative experience here. I'd like to help make it better.

Now, please tell me what exactly are you looking for, and how I can help you.

I sure hope I don't get the same response to something I just posted on this forum. I lost my husband in 2010. We had a home in the country and I had beautiful flowers. I had to give up my home and move away. Now I am starting over and I asked for a plant that I was looking for and offered to pay postage. Like her I don't have exchanges yet but hope to by next year. I see nothing wrong with her post. No reason to bash her just because she did not word something right. I was burned several times myself when I was able to share plants, but life goes on. Hope everyone has a great day

Hi, I have not followed this thread since I posted on it, someone liked my older comment, so that got me back here. Two things stuck out, the person who posted that when this Forum switched over to Houzz, MANY people who were regulars left it. They found it too confusing to juggle back and forth between the Exchange Forum but of course, the new person who innocently posted would have no way of knowing that this is no longer a good place for trades for violets. The second is that someone else zeroed in on the semantics. It is difficult to interpret a tone of voice in a post. The writer dashed it off quickly. I daresay some people used this person's post to vent some old frustrations. While some of us have been burned, others have blessed us so generously with outpouring of leaves and plants, that it will balance out in the long run. For those who are serious about getting a lot of violets to start, then go to the Violet Reflections yahoo group, sign up, and join the "Share the Joy" program. Someone will mentor you and send you violet leaves and plants. There is an application process, they probably want to make sure you will be serious about plants. In the meantime, at this time of year, your local grocery stores or home hardware stores that have nurseries should begin stoking their shelves with pretty violets that cost about $3. You can get a couple of those and when they grow, remove a leaf or two to root it. That will give you experience. In the meantime, read the how-to at Optimara.com. Joanne

Hi Lindy! First, my condolences for your loss.

Yes, Brenda took heat. I also didn't think it was warranted, but I don't control every one else soooo,,,,,, my best advice would be to explain what you are looking for and as anyone who has it if they would private message you. Then you are talking only to them. You are NOT on the public forum. And the deal is between the two of you and no one else.

Joanne is absolutely correct. Semantics. And the fact that one has no sense of what the person is really saying without seeing them say it. She explained it well. We just have to be tolerant and not so quick to jump.

Having explained that,,,,,,Welcome to the AV forum! Is it african violets you are looking for? What do you like? Now is not a good time to ship anything but what are some of your wishes? There are a lot of nice people here and even if they wish not to trade/exchange maybe they can help you find it! Good luck and don't be a stranger!!!! Rosie

Rosie1949. Africian Violets is not what I was looking for. A very nice gentleman in Alabama has responded to my request and is sending me what I was looking for. I am just getting my flower gardens started. So until I figure out what I am planting and where it will be hard for me to say. I was a member when it was Garden Web and I am not crazy with how the new system is. Hopefully next year I will be able to provide seeds and plants to trade.

No problem Lindy! Good luck and really, once you get used to the new forum you may like it! Took me a while, but now I am very comfortable with it!! Rosie