My reply and more to Rosesstink question about long distance driving.
I felt it was better to start my own thread, as this was as much about a surprise for my cousin Jeannie as it was about a longish road trip.
For over two decades after seeing the aftermath of a horrific accident on Christmas morning on I-80 I suffered from anxiety attacks before any road trip. The fear was not about the driver of our vehicle, but about the stupid things others do on the highway and the possible results of those actions. I feared both going with my family or even worse staying home without them. It was horrible for both myself and hubby, who didn't understand my fear. Heck, I didn't understand my fear for years. Once I realized what was causing this craziness I learned to control it, but still didn't want to drive very far on my own. Then.....
You all know about my cousin Jeannie, well she went on Hospice two weeks ago today. Her 61st birthday was the 21st and I very much wanted to spend it with her. Though I'd long sense gotten over the anxiety attacks, I still found it very hard to even think about driving a long distance by myself. Though I did drive 4 hours to Iowa City when she in the hospital last March, it was long and stressful. Home is another two hours away, so I wasn't sure at all how well I'd do. But I love her and this could very well be her last birthday and I wanted it to be something very special. I texted her son to ask what he thought about my coming. He loved the idea and invited me out to dinner on the river with them to celebrate. He thought how I planned on surprising her was great too.
So, I packed everything the night before, got up and left for the six hour drive. I'd forgot to write a birthday message on fb so I pulled over long enough to do so, saying I'd call her later but had a very busy morning ahead of me.
When I arrived at her home I pulled up so she couldn't see my vehicle and called as I said I would. We talked a bit as I carefully got out of my car and walked up her sidewalk, making sure to stay out of her view and talking soft so wouldn't hear me as their front door was open. I then told her how much I'd love to see her today, she replied, as I knew she would, that she would have loved that too. By then I was on her front porch and told her to look out her door. She did, and of course was so surprised to see me. The look on her face was priceless and I wish I'd have planned to have someone capture it, though I'll never forget it.
We spent the day visiting with each other and other family members that stopped by. Had a wonderful dinner on the river before heading back to her house after picking up something she needed on the way home. The next morning she and her hubby showed me the way to some river spots that I had never seen before that were amazingly beautiful and so relaxing as we sat and visited some more. We also stopped at Eagle Point Park, a favorite of everyone at home. I took them to dinner at one of their favorite spots, drove out to see their son's new home then visited an aunt that wasn't able to make it to her house on her birthday before the day was done. I visited my folks graves, popped in to a place where my bestest friend and two of my other cousins work, then visited with Jeannie and Jeff for a couple hours before I headed back home, stopping along the way to visit for a couple hours with my Mother-in-Law before heading home. Poured like crazy my last half hour, but I arrived home when it had slowed to a drizzle just long enough for me to get everything inside with the help of my son and grandson that met me at the garage door.
It was such a wonderful trip I'm planning on doing it again, hopefully next month when the eagles arrive at Eagle Point Park.
Here's some shots I took while home.
Jean and Jeff sitting on a bench at Lock and Dam 13. Its heartbreaking to see how much she's age since I saw her in March, but she still have the sweetest smile and kind eyes.
Eagle Point Park is across the river from where we were in Illinois at the dam.
You'd never guess she is only a year and a half older than I am.
The water is less than a foot in most places in the next few pictures. It's backwater from the dam which made a beautiful habitat for water foul (we saw cranes and even three blue herons) and turtles. Next time I plan on taking my digital camera. These were all taken with my Samsung Galaxy S5 camera. I really missed having the 42 times optical zoom on my camera.
I have to leave to pick up Owen and it won't let me load more in this post, so I'll add the rest when I get back.
Comments (16)
rosesstink
8 years agoRelated Discussions
Drive-by posting and other niceties of asking questions
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Comments (10)Thanks so much for all your wonderful suggestions. The soil is a sandy loam, not sand hills. It is a bit on the alkaline side as with much of the soil in our area needing a ton or so of lime every few years to maintain a good agricultural balance, so, should do well for the acid loving plants. Thank goodness the deer don't seem to like our roses and azaleas so far. They have not generally been a problem in our area. Of course, one never knows, they may very well take a liking to the roses and azaleas. We have quite a few wild muscadines and while the deer to love them, It would appear to me that we have plenty of wild ones that it won't be too bad sharing some cultivated ones as well. With the fruiting trees, they would really be more for the deer than for humans. Our consumption needs are very light but we do really love watching the deer and turkeys. BTW, I'm not so much seeking free advice as simply open discussion. I know the landscapers in our area (very limited) and I know their plant selections well. Mine tend to be a bit more diverse than theirs. Most of our landscapers, all 2 or 3 of them, tend to use primarily the old evergreen stuff. Not exactly to my liking. I am familiar with the problems associated with Bradford Pears and have seem some of them locally. However, the wife wants some so it is likely she will win that one. I will have to give the evergreen tree business some thought. Notice from the photos that the southern and western boundaries are Pine Tree plantations. We live in the heart of pine plantations. If I choose an evergreen, it will have to be something like leyland cypress (we have already planted several cypress on the north side of the pond) or maybe a different type pine. An uncle about 2 miles away has some which have a more northern or mountain look which have trived. I believe they are white pine, will have to check more into that. Again, with respect to the deer, I have lived in the area 50 years and they don't seem too partial to the roses, azaleas or camellias in our area. Who knows, they may wind up liking ours but if they do, we'll probably enjoy watching the deer. I like man of johnofsedona's suggestions and will continue to think about plant selection and group composition. As for as my goals, I like the varying heights, different forms and flowers for all the seasons. I like the varied island look. There are a few homes in the area which have similarly long drives with limited islands and there are ones which have long drives lined with pears or other plant material. I prefer the islands. I suspect we will include different varieties of naturalized daffodils as time goes on. We MAY also add wildflowers but probably not as we prefer a little more "clean" and organized look for the drive. We WILL have a wildflower meadow, probably near the pond on the north and east area there. I'll do some more thinking this weekend. Thanks for your contributions. The pictures in the link above should give you some idea to our tastes and the area. Sincerely, Joel...See MoreA question about long trips with a baby...please help
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8 years agoeld6161
8 years ago
riosamba
8 years agoUser
8 years agoUser
8 years agoThank you Errant. I was truly good for both of us. I think for her hubby and son as well, since they enjoyed seeing Jeannie so happy.
Just realized I never posted this last night. I have not idea what distracted me.
Here's a few more from that trip. These were taken in Eagle Point Park, where we used to have all our family reunions. Sadly they are going to tear down The Lodge (circa 1930) and rebuild a modern version. I just hope they design it to fit the park as it nears it's hundred anniversary. The Castle was built a few years later with funds from the government to put folks to work during the depression. They also built a thousand stairs down the very steep cliffs to the river, but my Mom and aunts warned us kids to never go near them as by the time we were around they were deteriorating. I've seen pictures and boy it would have been something I would have loved to have done in my teens.
The road around the park is winding and was planned by having a tractor follow two men as they walked through the gorgeous land.
River views from across The Lodge View Parking, looking down cliff.
Trees my brother and his boy scout troop planted when he was just a kid.
User
8 years agoThank you Rosesstink. I think you are right about that. The more I do it, the easier it will become. I have to admit that it was much easier since I brought my iPod and listened to Dan Fogelberg all the way. His music soothes my soul and calms my heart. On the way back I couldn't get it to work until I left Des Moines. I couldn't believe that I missed that the Belkin thing wasn't completely plugged into the iPod! The rest of my trip home was much calmer.
Wow! I'm Happy and I know It, I didn't realize we were both from eastern Iowa. That will always be home to me.
We were not far enough north to be across from Dubuque, but plan on traveling further later this month if I get a chance to go. I have to work around our grandsons schedule and go on days he's with his mom two days in a row.Thank you Ellende. I was very happy that I made the trip too. It was good for all involved. Even my other cousins and bested friend were touched by my coming home for Jeannie. All who know her love her and were happy to see her so happy. I'm a changed person after seeing how strong she is in her day to day living with cancer and knowing her time is limited. Not that all our time isn't limited, but when your body is as ravaged by disease and chemo as hers, you know your limits are a lot closer than you'd like.
Riosamba, thank you so much for the comment about the picture of us. I love it so much. Jeff took one of us in March too and it shows how that last round of chemo aged Jeannie. As happy as I was being with Jeannie, I think the picture taken recently shows a difference in me too. Those six months were pure hell worrying about her. Each time the phone rang and it was Jeff, I was afraid to answer. Now that I've seen her strength building since chemo has stopped I'm comforted in how better she feels. We tried to tell her, but with the help of chemo brain, (it really screws up ones thinking and memory) she thought stopping it was giving up.
SheilaAus, thank you for checking in and commenting. I wasn't sure about posting more about Jeannie, as I didn't want to bore anyone with so many posts, but when I saw the thread about traveling, I thought I'd share. I'm glad I did.User
8 years agoHere's a side by side of her from March and September. Makes you think twice about chemo. I know it does me.
LynnNM
8 years ago
outsideplaying_gw
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