When our daughter was 2-1/2 we moved from California to Oregon. Although we knew another family in the town, they were not a factor in our decision, nor were we that close once we got there.

I found we met people through our daughter. I'd go to the park with her and meet other moms in the park with their kids. We made a lot of friends that way.

I would use a lot of discernment with this choice. Why do I want to leave where I am? What am I seeking? What if, God forbid, something were to happen to one of you? How would you feel being on your own in a new place?

After 3 years we returned to California. The economy sucked in Oregon and we had more options back in the Bay Area.

Its a really hard decision. My DH and I are over 50 and approaching 50. Our kids are in HS. We will leave our house when they are in or done with college. And we discuss, almost daily, where we will live next.

We know that our house is too much property in our climate for us to care for long term. Our school district is also best in state and our taxes reflect that. We love our state and we love winter climate. But our house is too much.

I am not afraid of moving and meeting new people, if you move into a community of older people they will all/most be relocatee's too and that will help. We have moved many times, I am very community involved, I can be very social if I have to be to meet people. Think about who you are, how you meet people, and how you will make friends, If you are church going it is great asset. If not, what will your access to the community be. I am heavily involved in the local food movement and that is one port of entry for me, there are others too. What will your "in" be?

My parents did that, moving their main home from Michigan to the Tarpon Springs area of Florida, on the west coast. But, although they had fun for several years, they were a long way from their grown kids and grandkids. It was difficult to manage visiting them more than twice a year, because of the kids' school, our jobs, etc. Christmas in Florida was NOT what any of us had in mind. And, my parents lived in a smallish, 2-bedroom retirement home/community. It made visiting them with kids difficult. Also expensive for some of my siblings. As my parents aged, their Florida friends were dying off and their own health and ability to travel was starting to be compromised. They no longer wanted to travel back in Michigan because it was too hard on them to drive that distance, and they said they were always catching something when they flew or catching some bug from their grandkids once they were there. When my father had to have open-heart surgery, my mom needed some of us to come down quickly to help her. It was very hard financially on a few of my siblings who had to leave their jobs and fly down there, paying top dollar for their flights and taking vacation days or non-paid days.

Why am I telling you this? Because, #1 of what my parents and their friends went through , far from family, as they aged; and #2, before my parents retired to Florida, and before I married, I lived in Florida and worked in healthcare in Ft. Lauderdale. I saw this same thing so many times over the years I was there. I swore I would never move away from my family and close friends when I/we retired.

Just my own one opinion, but one I lived through my parents and their friends.

Plus, our mom was always homesick for her kids and grandkids back in Michigan. It didn't bother Dad as much.

My parents just moved to be closer to my brother. Dad turns 80 this month and mom is just a few months younger. Neither of us (their kids) stayed where they settled after dad retired from the military.

Their health has declined and two years ago my mother was very sick--three and a half months in the hospital total with two separate ICU stays while on a ventilator. My SIL came to my house and took care of my kids while I flew (on less than 12 hours notice) to see my mom because my brother's judgment was that she might not make it.

I ended up staying for two and a half weeks while my kids cried every night because mom was gone. But my dad has serious heath problems of his own and I was truly afraid to leave him alone while my mother was so sick. And my brother has a paying job and health problems of his own that eat up his leave time.

My parents do have some friends in the area they lived in but no one was going to be checking on my dad on a daily basis or bringing meals by or anything. It was so hard to leave with mom still in the hospital but I was out of options for child care for my kids. It was awful.

We offered to buy my parents a house here but they declined (too expensive where I live for them to afford). Thankfully they finally did sell their place and are now close to my brother. This is an enormous relief for both me and my brother.

Dh and I have talked about how we would like to stay here permanently but if the kids move away, we will seriously consider moving close to one of them--if they want us to--before we start having serious health problems if at all possible.

I guess that's a long way of saying I would think carefully before leaving friends and family for retirement.

Staying close to family is important especially as we age. We have an only child, our DD, 1200 miles away and have plans to move near her when we retire in a couple of years. Luckily, we have had a second home in the resort town since well before she moved there 14 years ago after graduating university, so you could say we picked the spot. My only concern was my own mother who lives alone in a large house in a small town about an hour away from where we currently live, but fortunately she has agreed that by the time we move, she will be ready to move with us to a lovely new retirement community with four levels of care independent living to nursing home in our destination and only about a mile from where we will be building. Other than blindness, she is still active and independent and it should be a good fit for her and it will be comforting to have her nearby and safe. She has visited us frequently when we are out there and also loves the small church in town and that helps.

We already have some friends there and hope to meet many more though various interests. When we are in town we have have already occasionally joined up with a very active group of folks in their 50s - 80s -- the Over the Hill Gang (appropriatly named for a ski town) that has lots of planned outings -- from ski trips to hikes to bike rides -- as well as more social activities like happy hours and pot lucks.

It also helps that we have vacationed there for the past 30 years with 3-5 trips a year, so it's not an unknown.

When are you actually planning on moving? Now or in a few years.

My Dh and I are 62 and our moms are 86 and living on their own within 15 minutes of us. Although we both have siblings, we are their primary caregivers and so we won't be going anywhere until they are no longer with us.

I guess you really have to figure out why you don't like your town and if that is fixable or if SC has what the two of you figure is missing in your lives. Are you looking for a short term adventure or a real life change.

I chose to make a move to be *closer* to one of my children/grands~younest DD's DH accepted a transfer to Tx. Within 3 mos, my youngest son decided to make the move, DH's mother about the same time, I came about 7 mos later~ it's now been 7 years. Since then, oldest DD has made the move, and her son will be coming out next month. We all came from Ca, my children/grandson finding work opportunities much better, and also affordable housing~DS bought a new spec house within a year.

Needless to say, we all love Austin! Texans are very welcoming......and the bar-b-q is 'off the hook'. ;)

I've not read other replies. DH and I both retired young. We considered moving all sorts if places, and then ended up moving by happenstance when we fell in love with our current home fairly randomly. We knew no one, and had only been to the town once, to see the home.

Our new home was only 90 minutes away from our old one, but we were surprised that there were still cultural differences. Our kids were young ... All three in elementary school when we moved ... So it was easy to get involved in our new community. Even so, we underestimated how much we would miss friends and the relationships and goodwill we had built up in the community as neighbors, volunteers, etc. I would not take that lightly.

We are glad we moved, but ironically, the things we are happiest about, ie the private schools we found ... was not even on our radar screen as a reason to move.

I spend many hours considering this as the kids are long grown, the house is big, dh has been retired for quite a few years; I am 62 and still working. We live in a very nice area, but do not feel particularly bonded to it or connected with it. It's also an expensive area to be in so other than my job and being familiar and comfortable with it, there aint much holding us here. We do plan to relocate and originally had thought of a more dramatic change in location. Lately the reality of it all has become more apparent and I think at this point, we will still move to another area but it wont be across the country. (we have 2 grown daughters- one lives about an hour away, and the other is on the other coast. ).

I think the BIG thing about relocation and retirement is that it really is quite different from moving when you have a job or kids in school to somewhat anchor you. The repetitive part of the schooling or working gets you with people and routines and even if the people you meet are not your real friends, you have an "in" as localeater put it.

After reading this thread, I had the thought that maybe what would work for me (and maybe others) is to take a year or whatever period of time and "try out" a place. If you love it, great. You have the option of relocating there after really knowing it, or you can decide it was close but no cigar.

Wherever you move, you have to take yourself with you.

Moving to leave a place you don't like is fine. But integrating into a new community with the goal of a fulfilled life takes work. New friends take cultivating and that takes time. If you aren't the type of personality to make a strong and active effort at building a new life, the transition will not be bumpy at best. As the child centric activities are in your past, you really have to honestly know what effort you are willing to expend. If you aren't involved in your community now, why not? And if you aren't, what will change if you move?

We retired and moved to central Ohio to be 3 minutes from daughter and three grandchildren. There's no way we wanted to retire and move a great distance from our beloved family. We agreed early in life that retirement isn't wasting your life away in
leisure; It's about living and sharing all you have with your family
until you die.

We receive greeting cards from all our friends in Florida complaining about never seeing their kids, grandchildren, missing friends, etc. They regret the move and hate their retirement life because it lacks their family and lifelong friends. Sadly, they are too stubborn to move back home.

It may not work for everyone, but spending time with children and grandchildren is becoming the "best part" of our entire life.

Today's schedule:

Fishing at 10:30

Shaun the Sheep movie at 1.

Hot Air Balloon Fest at 5.

What are you doing with the grandchildren today? :)

Well - I still don't have any grand kids but hopefully that will change in a year or 2.

We love were we are. Geographically it is really convenient - 10 miles from Philly, an hour or so to the Jersey shore, 2 to 3 hours to our place in NE PA mountains, 90 minutes to NYC via local train or bus service. Our town is historic, quaint, reasonably small, has fantastic schools and a great community spirit.

We will downsize in a few years but we'll probably stay in the same little suburb or maybe move to the adjacent one depending on what's available we when decide to buy or build. Our adult children are within 10 miles of us and I'd consider myself truly blessed if they all stayed in the area.

We would only relocate if our kids all left the area. Our family is small, our parents are gone, DH has 1 sister and I have 2 brothers and they are spread out across the country. When we married we moved hundreds of miles away from family and I missed having them near when we celebrated my children's milestones. I think that's the main reason I I want t be relatively near (but not on top of) my kids.

We have adult kids and grandkids in widely separated parts of the country. We have been retired for a couple of years and had been thinking about moving to a place with a fairly mild climate, convenient for visiting, close to good health care, culture, etc, and we needed one-floor living. One of our adult children moved to a city that had all those things and was very affordable. When we visited, we just loved the city and told our DS and his SO that we really wanted to move there. We'd always had a great relationship with DS and SO; had actually enjoyed spending time with them before they moved to that city, and we thought they also enjoyed seeing us. We read many of the same books, just had a good time talking about books, movies, etc. So on this visit, when we talked about moving to the same city, they were enthusiastic and said they'd love it if we moved there. So we went back home & talked to a realtor. We knew he was a good realtor, but he was better than we thought he was, because he sold our house before it was even on the market, and before we even had a chance to tell our kids what we were doing. When we told adult DS and SO about our plan, they suddenly changed their attitude about our moving to their city. They didn't want us to be so close, they said. We were surprised and hurt, and in hindsight we realize that we should have stored our furniture and rented some place. But at the time, panicked because we needed to deal with 30 years of accumulated stuff in less than one month, we took one weekend to find a house in a city that is about an hour away from DS and SO. It's turned out to be a good house; we have wonderful neighbors and we are enjoying the area. It's not quite as affordable as the city where DS and SO live, but it's fine. We didn't know a soul here but it was easy to meet our neighbors, and we have met others in our neighborhood because we take walks all the time. It's working out well. It was just such a shock and I'm still not sure what to think about the sudden change in attitude & effect on our relationships with DS and SO. I guess the lesson is that we should have done a lot more talking about this before we actually did anything.

That is a shock, especially since they verbally said they were on board with you moving.

I do find this sad. What were they afraid of? That you would be too demanding of their time and privacy?

Heather - when my parents were in a similar situation they discussed moving near my brother in Texas. They could leave winter behind and enjoy the milder climate. However they ended up moving 2 miles from me - still here in the snowy north. I strongly suspect my brother's wife didn't want the possibility that as my parents aged she might have to help care for them.

I'm glad to hear that your situation has turned out well and you've made friends in your new area.

I don't mean to be Debbie Downer but something to consider is what if one of you dies much sooner than you'd expect? If it happens early in your move, will the survivor want to be so far from established friends and family? Will both parties be happy in the new locale if they end up there alone? This isn't to say you shouldn't move, just another factor to consider, and it's a real wild card so it's not as though you can really prepare for it.

I know someone who bought their new, retirement place and her husband died suddenly and unexpectedly. She proceeded with the move but she felt it was a bit tougher to assimilate since she was a widow without established community ties. But she's outgoing and a joiner so she made it work but she said had she known (and we never do) she would have stayed closer to family and friends.

Be aware of the unpleasant reality but don't allow the fear of that what-if to paralyze you and keep you someplace you're really ready to leave.

Good luck.

I know my parents were pretty worried about what their kids' spouses thought when they started talking about moving to be closer to one of us. My brother and I had both strongly encouraged them to move to be closer to one of us, but they specifically asked that we talk again to our spouses. I know dh was very encouraging they they would be welcome near us and felt that they should move to us. Heather, I'm sorry you had that experience, especially since you did talk with them beforehand.

This a very timely discussion. I retired in December and DH will retire within two years. We plan to move to a less expensive, more retiree- friendly state for taxes, less traffic, etc. Our two sons live close by. One is married, the other has a gf and they will probably marry. They are all entrenched in their jobs which are headquartered here so transfers/job changes are not likely. DD lives in another state and is just starting a new job so she's staying put for awhile. No grands yet.

Yes, it will be difficult to leave the boys, but we don't see them much anyway. They are busy with work and their own lives. DIL only wants to be with her family.....we only see her for "obligatory" holiday visits and then they only stay for two hours. Even if we did stay here, I doubt we would see the grandkids much either. It's certainly not what I envisioned, but I have accepted it. It does make moving away easier.

That said, I also always thought we would be doing the kids a favor by not living close. Their lives wouldn't be disrupted by having to check on mom and dad, help with household stuff as we become more incapacitated, etc. I never thought about them having to suddenly hop on a plane if we were hospitalized, suddenly needed to go to a nursing home and the like. That is something to consider.

Our friendships have dwindled as well in the last ten years. As the kids grew up and moms went back to work neighborhood friendships are now non-existent except for waving as you drive by or an occasional conversation if you happen to be in the yard or getting mail at the same time. We have old friends from college, but we don't see them much either as one suffers from severe depression and doesn't want to socialize. Again, these things make it easier to move on.

I actually am looking forward to getting out of Dodge and forging a new life elsewhere...most likely an over 55 community where it will be easier to immerse ourselves in the plenty of activities offered, meet people and make friends. Only problem is we don't have a clue where yet!

I agree with DLM though.....when all is said and done you have to make the decision that's right for you and not worry about the kids. For some, that will be moving away to their dream climate, town, amenities.....and for others being close to the kids and grands will trump everything else.

I sure wish the Retirement forum was more active to discuss this topic on a regular basis.

Definitely agree with joaniepoanie; we did think that our DS and SO would have welcomed us, but apparently they were just being polite and they just wanted to be in their new city on their own. We sure wished they had been more honest, but we also should have talked with them about it over a longer stretch than just a couple of weeks. We are just trying to put our hurt feelings aside and enjoy our own new life. We've been so lucky to have found wonderful neighbors and we do enjoy living in NC.

Joanie, everything you posted rings a bell with me. One DD is back at home, but that will soon change. One has her own place in the city and is living with her boyfriend. No plans on marrying any time soon.

My DH would love to move to Florida. And, we even bought a house down there three years ago which we are renting out. We now have a rescue dog "inherited" from my oldest. This dog would not be allowed in our Florida home. In truth, my DH really can't relocate for long stretches as he has real estate to manage. There is always something and it wold be difficult to do it long distance. So, for now that house is added to our investment properties.

I have a part-time job that I really love. It is fun, stress free and I work with very nice people.

I'm not ready to give it up. This has become an issue at times with my DH. So we are in a holding pattern.

I have a sister in Asheville. Although we are not interested in the mountains, something near water in NC would be nice. Then we would only be 12 hours instead of 24 away from NY.

Joanie, I really do feel for you with the situation with your DIL. What does your son say? Certainly he sees that everything is one sided. I have a friend who is going through something similar. Even though she has stepped up to the plate and babysits everyday, while maintaining a part-time job, all holidays are spent with the DIL's side and my friends get the leftovers. The DIL thanks her for being understanding. I can't imagine being so self centered that I wouldn't share holidays and special events. To think it is okay to let the other in- laws have nothing? It infuriates me, just to think about it.

I wonder too, if you sat your sone down and explained that you are moving and all the reasons why, things might turn around? Not saying that you still wouldn't move, maybe the relationship would be better.

Sometimes we have a different take on how we are with others. My sister thinks that she is easy going with her son and DIL, and steps back. The truth is, the DIL thinks she is bossy and takes over whenever they are together.(DIL is friendly with my niece, and she told us this when we were discussing why they visiting was so infrequent) As a result, even though they are 20 minutes away, she rarely sees the grandchildren. Looking at this scenario, I often thought of talking to my future- son- in laws, when the time comes, to let them know that it is important for me and my DH to have a good relationship with him and to keep all lines of communication open and not let things fester.

This has been a very interesting discussion. We are the opposite in that we would potentially like to move before retirement, but we would have to take MIL with us. She has no other family here, DH is an only child, and we can't just leave her here. Now, if she found a nice gentleman, that would be different. She is hoping to retire at the end of year, but for now she is working. We really don't want to stay in our current jobs until retirement.

joaniepoanie, I feel like I can't fully convey how awful it was to deal with my mother's health crisis. After I left she ended up back in the ICU and back on the vent. I felt that I could not return as I got the call the night before the first day of school. My kids were still shaken from my sudden and lengthy trip earlier in the summer, I had no childcare options left, and having them miss the first weeks of the school year seemed very disruptive (plus taking them with me would have meant I couldn't be all that much help to my parents because I would have been taking care of the kids). My brother was able to go for a couple of days, but it meant dad was mostly on his own.

While I was there the first time, I did several things to try to get my parents ready for a move (helped dad sort out bank accounts, located options for disposing of a lot of their stuff, etc). But the truth was that mom was so critically ill that she could not be moved. And it wasn't clear what her long term recovery would look like--if she lived--and there was a possibility that she would be very difficult to move ever again. So dad would have been stuck where they lived with no good way to move to be closer to us. Then if something happened to him. . . . Thankfully mom made a nearly full recovery and they were able to resume living in their home and have now managed to move. But there was the very real possibility of a long, slow train wreck that none of us could stop.

As far as time with families, I am sure none of this applies to any posters here. But we have spent far more holidays with my family. At first we lived near my inlaws so we could see them anytime, where we needed paid holidays from work to be able to make the trip to see my parents. Plus, my inlaws would decide to travel on holidays when we were in town so it certainly seemed like they didn't care whether they spent them with us or not--and dh says holidays were never a big deal when he was growing up.

Now we live far from everyone and we have traveled to see my family more. In large part because my mil has tried on multiple occasions to feed my ds food he is allergic to. And not on accident as dh heard her telling five year old ds it would be okay to eat jello pudding while ds was telling her he couldn't eat it because of his allergies. Dh had to intervene and back up the poor five year old. After that I felt that we could not eat any meals at their house because that would mean risking mil cooking with something ds was allergic to and not disclosing it. All I can think is that she thinks I'm crazy and making his allergies up. (I might be crazy but his allergies were diagnosed by his Ped and allergist.). Anyway, for all I know she complains to people that she never sees us and it's not fair that we travel to see my family and not them.

I would think long and hard on this. My sister and her hubby (we are in TN) have a vacation place just outside of Charleston. They are planning to move there in a couple of years. I said something to her about friends and family. She said they could make new friends and she hoped old friends and family would come to visit. Me, on the otherhand, or I should say "we", have no plans to move from this area. It could happen, but it is not in the plans. When we built our home 20 years ago, we built with the intention of staying put. No more than 2 steps at any entrance and one entrance has no steps at all. Basement has no steps, entrance from outside - level area, etc. We both grew up in a nearby city and have friends and family (immediate and extended) in the area. We are both involved in community activities and have a church (and church family) that we love and are involved with. We have roots. So far, we have not had any "itch" to leave this area that we love. We are in a beautiful area, we love the outside recreational opportunities, we love our mountain view, the fairly mild/short winters, etc. While we do not have children, our best friends do and they have "adopted" us. We are family. We don't want to leave these things. I think it would be very hard on us to move somewhere new and leave friends, family and a home we love behind.

it is a very weird place in life to be- older and thinking about retirement yrs... :(

my hub still wants to work for a few more years, but we talk about what we want to do, and really have no idea! we have moved a fair amount with my husb's job but we have never lived near family- my sibs are all spread around the country and hubs family live near each other, but always many miles away from us. my hub is not a cold weather fan, so we know we will have a place in a warmer climate. ideally we will have 2 places, with at least one being nearish to at least one child. but, none of my kids are married yet or settled in any way, so it is impossible to plan at this point!!

we never lived closer than a 5 hr drive to any family(and never were closer than a 12hr drive from my parents) while raising kids, so my kids never had a super close relationship with grandparents, etc... we always had a guest room and my parents would come and stay with us at least twice a year for a couple of weeks and we would visit them at least once a year, but i know i would like to live closer to at least one kid and hopefully future grandkids... even if we are within a 2-3 hr drive, that would be nice! close enough for day visits when we are younger and an easy drive for the kids when we are old... so, my thought at this point is we will have a house near at least one kid, wherever that may be and hopefully a second place in a warmer(or cooler if the child is in the south) climate... i would definitely consider moving to an active 55 and older community that has lots activities all the time. i also would like to be near a vibrant city...

at various times of our life we have said we need to retire near certain close friends, but who knows if that will happen-- when you relocate so often friendships change...

my parents lived ~12hrs from us when my mother was dying and i spent over a month and a half with her at that time... thankfully it was during the summer and she passed away before labor day-- before the kids were back in school. it was hard. i brought my youngest down for a week or so during that time-- he was in early middle school at the time-- i thought it would be a good experience for him, but i think the whole experience turned him away from thinking he wanted a career in medicine!! he got to the point where he felt nauseous every time he would go visit my mom-- from the hospital smell he says. don't know if he'll be in the front of the line when it comes to caring for us in our old age!

As an add on~moving to be closer to family doesn mean you sacrifice your own life/lives. Finding things to fill your time may not come easily, but it's absolutely necessary since you don't want to depend on them as your means of 'entertainment'. I decided to rent a space in an antique mall since I always had an 'itch' to have my own business. This satisfies me, yet I don't need to take part in the running of a business, but at the same time have the time in 'hunting' for inventory, satisfying the shopping 'itch'.

Traveling has also become a 'necessity', making 3-4 trips a year, with 1 or 2 small road trips, out of state or a visit to a different part of the state. The reality is, staying busy is the key to staying happy. ;)

I'm glad I finally found the GW folks! I've been a member for many years but haven't posted much. Msmagoo, here is my experience in moving around without knowing anyone. I apologize in advance for the long post.

After many years of the rat race in a large city, my husband was able to work remotely so we moved to Wyoming where we had vacationed for years. I was your age at the time. I had wanted to move to New Mexico but my husband convinced me that Wyoming would be the better place. So, I quit my job of many years and we moved.

We lived in a small town with a great art community. Our neighbors were very friendly and I met a dear friend in pottery class and through her met other people. I was a little bored not working but we had a good time living there. After about 7 years, we (especially me) grew weary of the food situation. We were at the end of the line for produce and the restaurants were dreadful. Organic food was nowhere to be found.

So, I got a wild notion that we should move. Thought we would have time to really look and make a wise decision as to where to go but our house sold in a few days! We, again, considered NM but ended up in the Pacific Northwest. I wanted to rent by DH insisted that we purchase. So - we bought a house and never really got settled there. There was organic food and wonderful fresh fish but.... it just didn't work out. We met only a few people and the gloomy wet weather was very depressing. So, back to the drawing board -- we, again, considered NM, then moved back to the Southeast to be near family and rented to figure out where we wanted to be. Our rental house went up for sale but we had not decided where to go - so we just panicked and bought a house in the neighborhood - a gated golf community with mostly retired people. Wrong decision - and I'm still looking at NM houses on the internet, LOL. If someone told me I would be living on a golf course in the South 10 years ago I would have thought they were crazy.

DH is now retired and I've not worked in quite a while. We have no children or pets =:-0. We are both bored and are totally out of our element. I've not made one close friend in three years and I rarely see my sibling who lives nearby.

I know - Bloom where you're planted and all that. But, for me, being in the right place with like-minded people who have similar interests is very important. I also have a hard time with the high humidity -- what was I thinking?

Seems like your husbands was doing all the thinking! I commiserate as I too have a strong willed husband.

I have a cousin who moved to NM. She is 30 miles from Santa Fe. She is divorced and the joke there is, "How do you meet eligible men in NM? The answer is move. That aside she has made many friends with the women in her neighborhood. However, the heat and dryness is getting too much for her. She is always wishing for rain. She put her home on the market and so far no takers.

I don't know. Maybe if she could have afforded to be in Santa Fe things would be different.

I am truly amazed that you moved so many times. Just the thought of packing up my house is truly overwhelming even to think about, let along doing it every few years.

MY DH and I are struggling too with our next move. We have had quite a few neighbors sell their homes and then decide! A bit too risky for us.

Ellen, I'm sorry your cousin isn't happy in NM. Some areas there have had a lot of rain this year. Has she decided where to go next?

I'm a little amazed myself about our moves. Packing is the easy part - settling in the hard part. My hubs really wasn't pushy about where to move - he just made good points and I didn't listen to my gut. I think he would have been happy to stay in WY. We both worry about hurting each others feelings and, as a result, don't communicate very well.

rgrs, my cousin would like to move back to upstate New York. Although she visited NM a few times and felt a strong pull to go there, it was not the right fit for her.

Everything depends on her being able to sell her house. It's an odd situation. She is on an Indian Reservation and owns the house but not the land, if I have that right. Maybe this is common there? At any rate, no takers, so she took her house off the market for now.

That is a complicated situation - I hope things work out for her. Upstate New York is beautiful. In the meantime, maybe she will run into Henry Standing Bear or Sheriff Longmire - they are both single :-)

What great post. We are thinking of where we want to live down the road. My parents have passed and the one sibling I am close to lives on the east side of the country. We are 4 hours from my husband's family and still only see them a couple of times a year. I want to be near my children when they are grown, but who knows where they will end up. We love the water and want to retire near it. My husband could take a job offer and we would be relocated by the company, which would be wonderful. But we aren't sure where we want to go, just somewhere warmer than the Midwest and near water. I guess I feel like I don't want to infringe upon my children or in any way limit their lives. I want them to travel and explore anywhere they want to go. I feel like if we choose a place that we acclimate to and love, they will find us. But then how will we feel if/when one of US passes? I would think so very lost. We have lived in our current city 10 years and have established friends. We have relocated due to hubby's job several times and this is the longest we have stayed anywhere. Starting over in a new city in our early 60's? I'm just not so sure. I hope we figure it out as it gets closer. So much to think about and plan for.

My perfect semi-retirement home would be no real home. I'm bugging DH about spending a couple years in the Peace Corp. Then doing what my son and his wife are doing now, teaching English overseas. Where? Wherever will hire an older couple. About the only places I don't want to go on the planet are wherever there is a war zone so just hire me and I'll gladly pack my suitcase. An alternative, while we're still fit enough to do so, would be to take a bicycle trip around the US, slowly meandering wherever we get an itch to go with no real itinerary except for following the good weather. If health isn't strong enough for a bicycle trip, then in our car with a little teardrop trailer behind us, with bikes on top for day trips.

Eventually, we will need to settle down when health or simple aging makes it difficult to keep on the move. Hopefully, our travels will introduce us to areas to consider. This may not be in the US.

We've lived in the same town most of our lives, not counting a few years when we were young adults, and while we've traveled, not near enough. We are itching to see what else is out there.

funkycamper-we've talked about doing a crosscountry bike trip! tho, I could never get my husb to ever meander--itinerary and goals are a must for him!

Oh, there are times when my trips are almost planned with military precision, lol. When you're traveling somewhere you know you might never get to again, particularly overseas, we tend to do that. Although as I've gotten older, I do throw in an unplanned day ever 5-6 days or we wear out. Or maybe that's the day we take a long train trip elsewhere so we're mainly sitting and consider that our rest day.

I'm hoping the cross-country trip is more when we are retired on nobody else's schedule so meandering would be just fine and dandy! Would love to travel around the world that way, too. On bike or via backpack, I don't care. Sell the house, weed down possessions to a small storage unit, and go! :) Yes, I have wanderlust.