"I think we are just incompatable".

"I love him dearly".

Huh? Come on .... what do you love about him?

You said that you've been with him for 3 1/2 years and you got along only for 6 months when you first got together. Why in the world are you still together if you've not gotten along for 3 years??? You got along for 6 months and haven't gotten along for 36 months? And you're still together? Seriously?

I'm not intending to be harsh, but doesn't it strike you that this is really odd? Break up, for Heaven's sake!

Agreed. You may love each other, but you're not good for each other. Your relationship has devolved into something sick. That's not good for either one of you. Time to say good-bye.

Sounds to me like the doors of communication are closed. If you feel there is more merit asking strangers what they think than your bf, then perhaps that's a clue to open a dialogue... not with know-it-all's, but with your bf. Then, if after discussing it with him, you feel there is something still not working, talk to him about it and tell him that without change in the relationship (from both of you) that you are thinking about moving on.

If the two of you can't work it out, then you can both move on with minimal pain. Be honest with both... yourself, and with him. He will need to do the same. If neither he, nor you cannot, then you'll just prolong the problem.

"know-it-all's", rgreen?

Know-it-alls, suzieque.

Interesting. I hope you're including yourself in that description. OP asked for feedback; she was given it.

I do indeed Suzieque. I do indeed. Yes, she asked for feedback, but how are we qualified to offer advice that will affect the lives of 2 people we do not even know?

If she was in a life threatening, or a physically dangerous situation, then by all means, she should be encouraged to find help... which usually comes from removing herself from the abuser. If she is a victim of psychological abuse, then that too would warrant immediate action. However, she has expressed no such concerns.

The only thing that was given is a one-sided description of of her feelings at a moment in time. Both of these people have 3 years invested in this relationship. To read 1 paragraph and offer life-changing advice is the epitome of arrogance. This issue concerns 2 people, not just one.

Perhaps they both can use communication training. While both people could benefit from such education, often one side needs to learn to stand up for themselves more than the other.

It's very possible that these 2 people can work out their problems, get married (lol, my own morality, that if given the chance, I would encourage... although each must make their own life-choices) and be very happy. It's also possible that splitting up could be the best decision. However, if the latter, then all effort should be taken to preserve the dignity, and the emotional security of both these partners. Telling one person to drop the other without inclusive dialogue is, at best, calloused and short-sighted.

I agree, you can't expect to get meaningful advice on ending a long-term relationship based on a one-sided short paragraph on a web forum....

I'd agree with you, but then we'd both be wrong. ;-)

I've probably said too much on this already, but... lol

It's ok to vent, and people spend good money to vent to therapists who may, or may not give you good advice. Sometimes talking to complete strangers, anonymously, is fine. Just realize that unless what you are really looking for is someone to echo and confirm what you have already decided, but need more self-esteem to follow through with, that us know-it-alls, have no investment in your life.

It's easy for us to say 'just dump him...', but if that's what you wanted to hear, then show yourself and your partner the respect to work it out for yourselves.

And, really, those who have commented here would probably all tell you to set some real goals, and if they aren't met to a reasonable degree, then stand up for yourself and follow through with your decision.

Ok... I've said far too much already lol... just like all info on a site like this... take it with a grain of salt.

"It's not the mountain in the distance that conquers you, it's the grain of sand in your shoe."

So many relationships founder on the rocks of everyday communication. I think that's why people post here and say, "I love him/her dearly, but, this little thing he/she does is making me crazy".

Why not try to get some counseling to clear up the communication before throwing out the whole relationship? Couldn't hurt and even if this one can't be fixed, better skills will certainly help with the next one.

Good luck!

Can an old fart chime in?

Everybody is on their best behavior during the first 6 months of a relationship, but we can't keep the façade forever.

He has had SEVEN JOBS in 3 years. WHY??? Does he quit or does he get fired/laid off? Could it be he just doesn't like what he's doing and doesn't know what to do? Look up "career counseling". For BOTH of you!

Talk to his parents. Has he always been argumentative, or is this something new?

I'll tell you right now this boy ain't happy! And until he figures out why, you're not gonna be happy either.

Sit down and make a list of all the good things he does. Not what you want him to do, but just what makes you love him? Then make a list of the bad things he does. Changing jobs, no respect, etc.

Then use the four most dreaded words any man can hear. "We need to talk". You need to get to the bottom of why he is the way he is towards you. If he refuses to do anything about it, go back and take out that list. Study it real hard. Then decide if you're better off with him, or without him.

You say you love him. But do you love the man you're with, or the man you wish you were with?

So many women think - oh if I can just change him it will be ok. NOT! You can't change a man. He has to change himself. And if he doesn't think he needs to change - well, that's the way it's going to be. PERIOD!

If you know something like "shirts on a dresser" is going to cause an argument, why did you even mention it in the first place? If he's had a lot of job changes in the past few years, he has enough on his mind. Just put the shirts away and forget about it. Avoid commentary about tedious and irrelevant things. Pick your battles.