Step-grandkids

11 years ago

My husband has 4 grandkids, all live in another state. The 2 parents seem to take for granted that I am absolutely crazy-wild over these, kids, most of whom I have met once or twice, and that I am dying to have them for long periods of time as houseguests. We tried it for a week (which was 10 days long) what an ordeal! 10 days of trying everything possible to entertain a moody 13 year old girl and a hyperactive 10 year old boy. And neither the kids nor the parents even said "thank you" one time.

Now the other parent wants us to drive for two hours to pick up the 5 year old, wrangle her all weekend, then drive back, in rush hour traffic, very early Monday morning to get her back in time for preschool. Really? The mom does not work.

I'm trying to feel some positive emotion for these kids, but the fact is, the more I get to know them, the less I like them.

Featured Answer

blueheron

11 years ago

It seems like an imposition to expect you to do that. The younger generation of parents expect the grandparents to take their kids off their hands for weekends or longer. The grands raised their kids and shouldn't be expected to take care of their grandkids on a regular basis. Unless they want to.

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Comments (7)

User
11 years ago
You're being used for free sleepover camp.

Tell these imposing parents that it's simply not possible to take the kids for more than a weekend, or whatever.

Tell them you won't drive to get them.

Don't let them bully you.
Beverly Hills thanked User
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blueheron
11 years ago
You can tell your SD that you're not up taking care of a 5-year old. Don't apologize, don't explain, just say it's not possible. PERIOD.
Beverly Hills
Original Author
11 years ago
Yes, I have done that - you should see the manipulative email she sent me - trying to guilt me into doing this. I am, technically, not even related to either the parents or the child and I have met the mother once and the child three times. Maybe I am being selfish, but I worked hard to earn my retirement and I don't plan to spend it doing other people's work for them.

I was a single mom and had to work all the time. When I had free time, I loved spending it with my daughter and never tried to put her off on relatives for a weekend or a week. Now, SD does not work, never has, so I advised her to treasure these early years with her child, because that goes by very fast.
User
11 years ago
Good for you! You're being very strong and it's important to define the relationship now. SD is a pushy broad who apparently doesn't like her kids very much.

I hope when she sees that you're not a pushover, she'll learn what your boundaries are.

Stay strong!
Beverly Hills thanked User
blueheron
11 years ago
No, you are not being selfish. Don't let her guilt you. Just continue to say, "That won't be possible." It seems to me that your SD can't wait to get rid of her kid whether palming her off on you or sending her to preschool. You were right to tell her to cherish her time with her child. I'm sure that went over light a lead balloon...lol
Beverly Hills thanked blueheron
grandmamary_ga
11 years ago
We had one step grand daughter who is now an adult. 5 Grandchildren plus the one. The step grandchild never entertained herself. She Expected to be entertained. At that time having no younger kids as our sons were adults and married we had no idea how to entertain her. We only saw her on weekends. We tried to be good grandparents and attend her school events as much as possible but they lived on the other side of town and it took us a long time to get there. I don't think she knew how to play by herself. Yes we had things for her to do at our house but that involved us too to play with her. Now she has 2 daughters of her own and lives away from us. I hope her own kids can play by themselves or at least entertain themselves.
Beverly Hills thanked grandmamary_ga

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