Wow - lots going on here, but in response to your reason for posting . . . . I can understand how exhausting it can be to deal with a roller coaster relationship with a birth mom - I've been on that ride for 10 years. I've been the one she wants to talk to because my DH is an "a$$", and then suddenly been 'your b!tch of a wife' whom she won't even say hello to. I used to beat myself up trying be 'friends' and keep the peace. We are now at the best place in our relationship we have ever been at, but I still wait for the other shoe to drop. Truly, if you love your SD, you have to let it go. You have to understand that her trying to make you miserable stems from feeling miserable herself. It's harder then many can imagine, but you have to find a way to rise above it. I don't mean to look down at her with pity over her miserable existence, but to remember that when she gets nutty that there is something in her life making her so unhappy that you feel the brunt of it. Then list 5 things to yourself that make you happy about your life, and don't let her nuttiness take those things away from you. Chances are you will never be friends in the sense of the word we all think of. But, you can be civil. If you open the door into your life by inviting her to the lake and such, though a wonderful gesture, it only gives her a way to slam the door in your face. Keep civil, but keep her at a distance. If you maintain that distance she knows what to expect. When she tries to be 'friends' just be polite, keep the conversation to a minimum and the contact minimal. When she tries to be nasty do the same. If she sees that her behavior does not ruffle you, she'll look for someone else to make miserable. Remember, misery loves company. My biggest piece of advice - don't say "we're through trying to be friends with you just don't say anything to us and we'll say nothing to you." You are then letting her know you're affected by her. Instead, say nothing. Be civil. Be consistent. Take the high road. As a side note, never let yourself or your husband be bated into discussing anything other than the weather in front of your SD. A nice response to keep in your back pocket is "I would like to hear more of what you have to say at a later, more appropriate time. Please call or email me." Then walk away. If exchanges can get nasty, do them in a very public place. Or better yet, a police station.

I prefer Disney to Knotts. We usually get the Park Hopper passes so that we can go to both Disneyland and California Adventure (which is just across from Disneyland). It is also whale watching season until the end of May in LA. They are seeing record sightings of humpbacks, fins and migrating gray whales this year in the South Bay of LA -- anywhere from 25-40 per day. There have also been quite a few pods of orcas. The hub of all the whale watching is the Pt. Vicente lighthouse in Palos Verdes, where you can watch the whales amongst the observers who are there from dawn to dusk counting the whales and observing their behavior. Or, you can charter a sailboat out of Redondo Beach for some up close action. The whales don't usually make it up toward Santa Monica -- too far into the SM bay. Just a few days ago, there were a group of humpback whales breeching and fluking at Redondo Beach while surfers and beachgoers gawked. If you are looking for a place to stay down there, I like Terranea -- it's on the water near the whale watching action and they have a nice spa and excellent French restaurant, Mar'sel. Here is a link that might be useful: Whales in the south bay This post was edited by pipdog on Fri, Jan 23, 15 at 0:46

The nothern Ca coast is perfect for a road trip, with many sights along the way. To make it easy on yourself, fly into the small Santa Barbara airport(if possible), and rent a car from there. Santa Barbara itself is a lovely, wonderful, bustling little village with plenty of shops, great food, the pier, and of course the magnificent beach! Oh, and USB is right on the ocean. You'll only be about an hour(a gorgeoous drive!)from San Simeon where Hearst Castle is located, but you would need to book your tours online beforehand~we dId two, one after the other, but don't recall which. I swear the views from the estate are a look into heaven! You will also be close to San Luis Obispo, a great little village with a ban of fast food chains. There's a tree~lined street you can't miss, which is reminiscent of a scene out of Gone With the Wind with the mighty Oaks and also the college with it's gorgeous grounds. I can't remember how far you will be from Solvang, but it's a short drive and well worth seeing this bit of Sweden-in-America! Monticeido and Summerland, are other small villages worthy of a bit of time, and close to each other. As an aside, i'm also somewhat of a 'food snob' and was happy to learn the majority of the small restaurants along the way have their own organic gardens and if not, the produce is bought locally from organic farmers/farmers markets. It's definitely a trip i'm planning to do again, and will take in Monterey and Carmel, possibly as far as San Fran/Sausilito. As for San Diego, I lived there for 27 years before moving to Austin, and it can get crazy on the freeways. Parking places at the beach are rare, restaurants can be a 2 hour wait, and if there's a baseball game, traffic can be at a standstill in every direction. The Del Mar Fair is in late June ending on July 4th, but two weeks later horse racing season starts~all this creates more traffic, etc in SD. Just a heads up, as it can become frustrating(and overwhelming!)and may be more than you bargained for. Just something to keep in mind if you plan a visit. Looking forward to your decision. You've been given some great ideas!

BB, I was just thinking of posting an update, so perfect timing. Yes the blasted post is gone baby gone! Here is the bathroom layout that ended up working the best after mocking up several different configuration. I actually will be able to fit up to a 48" vanity. The vanity and toilet bump back into the bedroom wall. Shower opposite with angled wall toward the entry to it. I am loving it! Ecko has already made herself at home on my couch mock up! This view is taken standing at front door. Here is the new bathroom layout. That line in front of vanity and toilet is that header beam above. I'm thinking about a flat ceiling with soft lighting over that area. But on bedroom side, that wall will go straight up to the angled ceiling. TV is going there. Not quite centered to bed, but good enough. Still a lot to do, but we are thrilled with everything. Everyone who sees it wants to move in! Thank you my GW fam! Pretty soon, I will be asking for finishes help!