Just an update since I have my rose orders coming in...like Jim said before...things are behind this year with all the rain but I should see the first blooms this weekend...when it's supposedly supposed to be sunny and sunny for a stretch longer than 2 days. The Charles Darwin pot looks quite different as it's topping off with growth and putting the energy into buds now. It will be interesting deciding how to prune him after the 1st flush...still thinking that one over. From 5-24-2011 From 5-24-2011 From 5-24-2011 Her rainbow colored "climbing" roses. Spirit of Freedom is going between them...my only concern is it will be below the north lattice for a while and won't get much sunlight until it fills out more. From 5-24-2011 From 5-24-2011 Not done, but managed to tear out the grass and mulch in the area around the garage....still need a WS2000 cutting to root to place in the empty spot to the right of the hydrangea. From 5-24-2011 This WS2000 has been exhibiting some weird behavior. If you look closer at the darker leaves, they are larger and a little different from the others...I'm wondering if it's a sport or something else...guess I won't know until it blooms. From 5-24-2011 From 5-24-2011 My old band from High Country of Winchester Cathedral...last year at this time it was TINY and I didn't even know if it would survive...now it seems to be thriving and on it's way to maturing. From 5-24-2011 From 5-24-2011 The other WC cutting I took off of the original WC...doing well. From 5-24-2011 The original WS2000 I bought in Columbus...glad it survived the transplant. From 5-24-2011 From 5-24-2011 Another one of the WS2000 cuttings...this one is a little yellow from all the rain. From 5-24-2011 From 5-24-2011 Just Joey, Medallion, Europeana, Double Delight, and Pascali still leafing out. From 5-24-2011 From 5-24-2011 From 5-24-2011 From 5-24-2011 From 5-24-2011 Anybody know what perennial this is?...it's quite colorful and the bumblebees LOVE it. From 5-24-2011 From 5-24-2011 She mustered up some gardening will and tore out the little area that was overgrown with grass and phlox and planted annuals...the 2 roses are doing better as well...need mulch...LOTS of mulch. From 5-24-2011 Lots of weeds and fern needs moved but little Peace is on the left and Graham Thomas is done growing and budded up...kind of funny seeing GT so small. From 5-24-2011 Bishop's Castle seems to be a later bloomer than most simply because it has so many buds on the end of canes that it takes quite some time for the rose to put energy into their development. From 5-24-2011 From 5-24-2011 The little GT on the other side of the porch...actually has a bloom on him. From 5-24-2011 From 5-24-2011 Abe Darby seems to be getting a LITTLE more vigorous now. I just need him to throw out some thick and tall canes that others get. From 5-24-2011 From 5-24-2011 Already ordered all these roses...should be in the mail soon...this is what I'm thinking. From 5-24-2011 What I plotted out....should be pretty full once everything matures. From 5-24-2011 Another one of my mother's unknown roses...it's pink...I know that much. I was under the impression it was a smaller rose based on the growth but it is throwing out some LONG canes...those canes aren't even budded either and are still growing. From 5-24-2011 From 5-24-2011 Queen of Sweden to left of unknown rose and Carding Mill to the right of it...notice how I already have the holes dug out in anticipation haha. From 5-24-2011 Mirandy cutting has no buds yet this spring but....it's rewarding me with some new basal canes which is equally as rewarding. From 5-24-2011 From 5-24-2011 This cracks me up...Double Delight....still the same size it's been for almost a year now haha. I'm sure the root system has to be fairly dense by now, but it's struggling with top growth as the cutting was fairly thin...but it hints that it might grow with some basal buds. From 5-24-2011 From 5-24-2011 Paul Neyron might be an antique rose, but he blooms pretty well. He had a bloom last year as a cutting and this year seems to be doing well. From 5-24-2011 From 5-24-2011 Baron Girod de L'Ain has no buds....and probably won't get any blooms this year even though she is a HP just like Paul Neyron but I know BGDL will need some patience to get established in growth first before I start seeing some blooms. The growth looks really good so far. From 5-24-2011 Sharifa Asma with the newly planted Summer Blue Delphinium...this should be a striking combo of soft pink with soft blue. Sharifa was a Heirloom band. From 5-24-2011 From 5-24-2011 From 5-24-2011 Golden Celebration is quite....dense. Foliage is a little light from all the rain, but it's budded up and ready to go. From 5-24-2011 From 5-24-2011 Evelyn was a High Country band a few years ago. Last spring she was just 2 4ft long canes and nothing else. This is the 1st time I've seen her in a state where she looks like an actual rose bush so I'm interested to see what the effect has. From 5-24-2011 From 5-24-2011 Heirloom rose is leafing out nicely...not an english rose but close enough and it has an interesting color...for $2 I can't complain. From 5-24-2011 Not the soil of the garden...VERY rocky before falling into clay. I want to plant Crown Princess Margareta here but I'm still undecided as the hose is right along the wall so CPM kind of "gets in the way". I'm thinking about running PVC pipe underground and running a feeder hose from the spicket on the house to the hose reel which would be moved outside the garden. From 5-24-2011 A cloudy shot of the side...holes already dug for Huntington Rose and Charlotte...and CPM. From 5-24-2011 Pruning a rose is more like just taking a lot of cuttings haha. From 5-24-2011 A lot of trees have been cut down in the yard but some of the mushrooms still thrive...especially in this wet weather. From 5-24-2011 I dug up the Pat Austin cutting that died...they all looked like this...all had sufficient root systems, all put out growth this spring, then bam....died...so bizarre. From 5-24-2011 Poor picture, but does Evelyn do this for everybody else? When she puts out new growth her leaves are all shriveled up initially before reflexing and flattening out...doesn't seem like an issue, but always found that to be a little odd. From 5-24-2011 It was pretty much a miracle that the sun came out after all the rain and clouds if only for a minute so I took a pic of the sun...that's what happens when you never see it. From 5-24-2011 From 5-24-2011 Some of the salvia that was planted as plugs around Golden Celebration...4 for the price of 1 larger one, so we shall see how they do over time here. From 5-24-2011 And I thought I would finish up with my mother's dogs...which are more or less my dogs since I'm the only one that walks them haha. From 5-10-2011

My mother passed away April 13th 2022. she raised me and my sister, as a single mother. she worked 2 jobs to ptovide for us, but we took her for granted as children. When the mother of my 2 children passed away in 2016, my mother moved in with us. My mother helped raise my daughter(16 now) and my son(15 now) for almost a decade. My mother was more than just my best friend, she was my only friend. i have complex PTSD, and she was the only one that i trusted enough to talk about the war with… she went with me to the VA, when i had to. she gave me strength, she always seemed to understand things that other people either couldnt or didnt want to understand… my dog died about a month before my mother did… 2022 has taken a lot from me and my 2 children… they saw her as a mother, as much as me… i go from feeling numb to feeling deep sadness and loss… i don‘t want to give up, but i always needed her support. she died from cancer, after being on immunotherapy for 2 years… she suffered from many side effects, for most of her treatment. she became so thin near the end that it was painful to see her like that… i was with her until the end, and it may sound strange but i held her for some time after she died and just sobbed onto her… i talk to her still thst she is dead for months, but i still wake up thinking that she is alive… i beli my mother is in heaven, but selfishly i just want my mom back… i miss my only friend… i miss the only selfless person that i ever met… i feel so empty, and i did not think that id feel so lost… she gave me direction when i didnt know what to do… i hope this posts, it does give comfort to know that i am not a

I think if you got a walker you could put it around the stairs and she would be comfortable climbing up the step stool. Especially if you have a big guy on each side. She might have trouble with her balance and that's why she is not comfortable not having something to hold on to. Maybe there is some kind of lift too. Call a pharmacy who sells surgical appliances. You might get some info from nursing homes or hospitals or anyone who deals with the elderly, too if you call and tell them your story.

mommybunny, You are correct in your statement "All my point was is that there are both sides to the story and that in some situations, parents are not as innocent as they portray themselves to be". People (even friends) forget that there ARE TWO SIDES TO MANY SITUATIONS of estrangement. Yes, there surely are some adult kids who are spoiled rotten and turn their back on good parents. But there are also parents who have created a lot of pain, and refuse to be accountable for anything. Keep in mind folks, that just like you never know what really goes on in marriages, nor do you really know what goes on in family relationships. People can be wonderful to friends and people they know, but can create tremendous pain within their own family. To those who jumped on mommybunny, have you lost the ability to rationally look outside of your own situation, and grasp that indeed a parent CAN be at fault in an estrangement? No one is suggesting that YOU are at fault, but that there certainly are situations where the behavior of a parent can certainly have caused some estrangements. If you are not actually capable of considering that possibility, then you have closed your mind to rational thinking. And unless you are actually capable of entertaining that possibility within your own estrangements, I don't imagine that healing will happen until you are ready to do so. Mommybunny, pull up discussions on detaching with love. It sounds as though even though you are an adult, locked within you is still the small child yearning for her mothers acceptance and approval. Yearning to hear a mothers loving words. And for whatever reason, it does not sound as though your mother is capable of being the mother you need her to be. Do not use her to validate how special and wonderful you are. Stop trying to jump through hoops to win her love and acceptance. She sounds incapable of giving it. Not because you are not worthy, but because for some reason, something is lacking within HER. Imagine yourself at a playground sitting on a bench. You see a lovely little girl who is precious. Your heart immediately leaps and you know you could love this child. The mother comes up and yanks the child away and tells her she is a stupid child. But you know that she is wonderful, and you wonder why that woman can not see this beautiful little girl for the gift that she is. Why is she so hard on her? And you wish that you could tell the little girl that she is nothing that the mother says. She is perfect, and you wish she were yours. Just because that mother cannot see her child for who she really is, does not mean that child is not precious. She is so precious, and was never responsible for the failings of adults and their problems. Work on forgiving your mother for not being the mom you needed her to be. Not because she deserves it, but because it will help you release all of the anguish within you. Understand that she is incapable of being the mom you needed her to be, (for whatever reason) and save yourself the emotional distress of replaying her hurtful words, and struggling to get her to understand (and apologize for) the pain she inflicted. I don't imagine she is the type to apologize. There are discussions on line on detaching with love and how it has helped many people. By finally understanding they will never be the person we wish them to be. Many people are not capable of changing. They are who they are. Find peace as you begin to heal. I imagine it would be so healthy if you could find a counselor to help you resolve the pain and anguish of this relationship, and find healing and peace over how unjust this all feels. I wish you well.