Talk about the situation with your husband. Develop your own position as unified parents of the child in question (and as your own family unit). This is so that you and he are going to reinforce each other _even_ when there might be 'jealous feelings' or whatever on the part of the grand adults. They might naturally feel closer to you or to him and might then try to go to one or the other of you when they feel slighted or hurt. It's one thing to soothe them because hurt feelings hurt, but they shouldn't get to vent anger over your (either of your) partner's decisions to you. People just have feelings. Everyone is an individual and their brains and moods are all wired together just a touch differently. They might feel jealous. If they have strong feelings they don't like or which they notice are not conducive to the kinds of human/family relations they want to enjoy and maintain then they should seek counseling on their own behalf so that they can improve their situation. There isn't really anything you can do about their painful feelings. You can be as diplimatic as you like. Maybe they don't realize it, if they get to sounding like your child's presence is an object for which they all must compete. Gently asking if they mean to sound that way can give them a chance to explain what it is they are intending to sound like. On the phone you can enforce your own limits about any venting you will listen to before hanging up (they can be invited to call back when they can speak in a civil/communicative manner without venting). Just be prepared if you set a limit, to enforce it consistently and repeatedly (they will probably 'test' this new situation). Issues between or within the grandparents are between or within them, and not you. Try to pull yourself out when/if they try to put you in the middle. An example of this which could be going on is a 'jealousy' of proximity. The grass always appears greener someplace else. All the grandparents undoubtedly love the grandchild and want what's best for that child and their family. If some grandparents live a lot closer, that's something grandparents who live further away might envy or feel jealous about. It can seem like the closer ones could or can always do anything and be close without even having to plan. That may or may not be reality, but when living further away and wishing to live and to be closer, it feels like something that could be going on... when stressed, maybe it feels like something that _must_ be going on. People who are depressed sometimes tend to thinking and feeling in this way. If any of the grands could be experiencing depression they need help and advice from their doctors. identify what you know, in terms of the facts and try not to interpret (go through the sequences of events as they occurred and as they occur rather than ascribing 'jealously' because there could be a lot of other things going on); then identify how you feel about the different things; talk to the pairs of grandparents individually or together (individually allows you to personalize the same basic info, but together illustrates for everyone in a tangible way just how equal every one is)... the most important thing though is for you and your partner to be solid and clear between yourselves as the parents (and family with your child)

I've thought about it with mine too, but realize that people can what if it till the cows come home and it really won't change things. Most people who have pets dread their loss, including me. I tend to get attached to animals and probably more than I should and know how hard it is to lose them. And I know better than to think you just "replace" one any more than you replace a friend, but that's not to say that if a friend dies you won't allow yourself to have another friend. Fact is, we don't know when they'll die. Our pets could outlive us! And considering the quirks developed in my friend from her traumatic past I really wonder how many people could take her in should something happen to me. (BRB) OK, I'm back. Had to take a little "time out". She just came asking if I'd play "red dot" with her a little bit. When a 10 year old critter wants to run around for a while, I won't turn her down. Plus she can use the exercise. Convince yourself to limit worrying about something over which you have no control. Also convince yourself that you're not "replacing" her. Each human or critter friend is different and unique and don't be ashamed that, like people, you have favorites. That doesn't mean you don't care about each. That I rescued a cat who was literally hours away from "the needle" is not an affront to the memory of my dead dog or other dead cats. I still have the memories of them and I wonder if I don't have a couple of them hanging our reminding me of them. That tennis ball was in the cabinet and the dog biscuit in the middle of the floor was not overlooked by me for all these years. Excuse me, I have to go. There's another "red dot" request.

Sensational post, Len - just the sort of thing I'm looking for :) To answer your questions/observations: Q0. first up where in qld is alabama? if i might ask. A. Its a little known suburb of Rocky :) OK, I tried to change my preferences, and was rewarded with an error from the web server. C'est la Vie. Q1. plant data base, i reckon a good data base is going to take a lot of room on a web site that is if you are going to list the many plants that we can grow here in the sunshine state. so adding plants growths in stages will make that so much larger. for the main i think viewers will be looking for identifiacation and planting and care help. A. I agree that the majority of users will want the text relating to plant culture, but I also envisage providing *links* from the main database entry to allow them to view photos of the plant at different stages of its life. Personally, I find it frustrating trying to envisage the 'true' size of many plants from the label, and the '12-month' estimate is something I think many people would value (granted, conditions and growth rates vary enormously, but I think you know where I'm going with this). Q2.. sounds like a lot of work to manage A2. I absolutely agree, and its part of my reluctance to make this available to the outside world. There are a broad range of issues relating to security that I havent even touched on, but that goes with the territory. Removing the need to maintain all but the most basic membership data (name, username, location and email address) will minimise my concerns in this area, but I dont want to spend my days weeding out SPAM etc - hopefully, we are dealing with a better class of people :) Q3.. for me gardeners are well serviced with forums not long ago an aussie garden forum dissapeared due to lack of interest if i can put it that way. you are in a native plants forum here and it isn't over patronised a good crowd here though. A3. My broader aim is to help gardeners in their attempt to fuse natives with exotics - correct plant choice, companion planting and so on. This wont amuse the local provenance diehards, but it may just lessen the resistance to something with the word 'Native' in the masthead, and we might see more lillipillies and Austormyrtus alongside Gardenias and Camellias throughout Oz. I cant predict whether the site will have a longterm future - I can only put it out there and hope that people like yourself are prepared to give it a go. Q4.. faq's yes they are always handy for all gardeners but they need to be relevent to the point answers and the search engine for the faq's need to lead people to the answer they may be looking for many search engines like this for me just don't hit the mark unless you type in exactly the topic line as the author of the faq's has put it. A4. The whole search engine thing is a big topic - you can customise Google to have it restrict its search to your site, and I'm confident that...

Hybrid vigor (heterosis) is a measure of the degree that a hybrid plant will outperform the average performance of the 2 parental lines. The theory is that the more different the 2 lines are, the stronger the heterosis. In the case of roses, the heterosis may be expressed by growing more vigorously. It is not surprising that the Austin roses express strong vigor because he has been using very diverse materials in his breeding program, making crosses between roses of the various classes of old garden roses and modern roses, which are genetically unrelated. Most of the Austin roses that I grow are own root. I also prefer own root to grafted, as the plants will usually last longer. I have seen grafted roses begin to weaken around year 12 or so; I think it may have something to do with the breakdown of the cells of the plant right at the area of the graft. I have seen others make similar comments on this site. Several have mentioned the roses at Mission San Juan Bautista in CA that are way over 100 years old, are still growing very vigorously, which I have seen as well. If I am growing a grafted plant that I am very fond of and want to have more than say 10 years, I will root a new plant and replace the grafted version with it. I do know that, for whatever reason, some roses do not grow well on their own roots, (a long forgotten Austin rose, Ellen, comes to mind); Prospero also seems to do better for me grafted than own-rooted). Based on my experience, I think that percentage that don't do well on their own roots, may be 5% or less. Heirloom Roses has been selling own root roses for over 3 decades and there are not many really popular roses, that you can't get from them as an own root plant. But my observations in my part of CA, may not hold true in all areas, especially in some of the colder areas with completely different environmental conditions. Rachel: Regarding William Morris: I have one grafted and 5 own-rooted WM rose plants and they are all doing well. But I live in an area where most everything does well and grows quickly because of our very long growing season and very bright sunlight, a consequence of our arid summers. I am growing some own-root roses that were 'stuck' in November and some are already 3 feet high! WM is no longer on patent and is no longer in the DAR rose catalog. If you are interested in WM, I may be able to help you. Please email me at tomatobreeder@hotmail.com Susan Lyell tried in the summer of 2017, to root roses at her facility near Nashville, TN. She has a business selling cut flowers (including roses and other species) which I presume is doing well. She concluded that it would take too long for her to produce own root plants in a reasonable amount of time in her climate, but intends to continue her cut flower business. She found a cooperator in Santa Ynez, CA who is going to produce roses grafted to Rosa multiflora, which Susan said would not be available for 2-3 years. It is my understand that most commercial nurseries sell grafted roses that are 2 years.