I went back to the tree to just snip off foliage so I could take better pics and when I went back eggs and little black eggs were gone. Maybe some beneficials ate them.

Sitting on the tops of plants and waiting for winged prey to come along is typical for these, in the rain forest even hummingbirds are on the menu. If they are native there in N. J. you should just leave them to hatch and continue to be part of the ecology in your garden. The male dying during or after mating is the same as may often happen with spiders - the male's life is pretty much over by then whether killed by the female or not. If nothing else winter is approaching.

They are a species of Hemiptera. I am not familiar with that one. They cause a lot of damage to plants. They are clumsy so you can spray them off with water. The nymphs I think will have a hard time climbing all the way back up. The adults will be right back unfortunately.

I would guess a virus like TSWV. The bronzing that looks "scribbled" in some places is characteristic of some of the strains. With viruses, plants are often infected while plants right next to them are spared for no discernible reason.