Aaaaahhhhhhhh! Something similar happened last night w/ our 3 1/2yr old. He's been potty trained since about 3 but regressed the past 3wks and has pooped in his underwear. Since talking wasn't helping I went out and bought 3 more of his favorite Monster shirts (a different one for each day) and hung them up in the LR. I told him I was holding them hostage and each week he went w/o pooping he could pick one out. All wknd. he kept walking past them telling them how he was 'I GOING TO URN MY MONTAH HERT BACK!' (he has no volume control). So last night DS1 (the one that threw the rock and has been grounded) was very good in all ways and manners last night for DH. DS2 overheard DH telling DS1 that he noticed how attentive he was and did everything asked right away and that he really appreciated it. So DS2 pipes in "YOU LIKE ME TOO DADDY?! I DIDN'T POOP IN MY HANTIES FAH A WHOLE WEEK! I A GOOD BOY!" Love 'em to pieces! He woke up to a monster shirt today.

Leave a lite on for him, read to him during the day in his bed, tell him Grandma or Mom needs to lay down and rest and his bed is so soft and nice. Maybe happy times associated with his bed during the day will make the bed less fearful. My son went through a stage of being afraid of the dark. I put a 10 gallon aquarium in his room and used it as a night light. He watched the fish, when I felt the time was right I told him if the lights aren't turned off every once in awhile algae grows and the fish won't like it. Pretty soon he was telling me to turn it off. I never closed the doors in our house for ventilation reasons so there was always some light while we were up and our voices probably help him adjust.

How does your husband feel about taking in just the kids? My BIL and SIL are bipolar. We've seen so much with them! As long as your daughter is NOT taking her meds, she'll never have a "normal" enough life. She'll never get her life back on track. My first priority would be my grandchildren cuz they're too young to help themselves and have no choice but to live this life of hell. Maybe talk to your husband about taking in just the kids for awhile until your daughter gets her life together and starts by helping herself first. It must be really hard for her to do so with 2 kids. That's if she WANTS to help herself! My brother and his wife have full custody of their two grandchildren (3 and 6), been almost 2 years. Their son is a drug dealer (the father) and the mother is a bipolar drug addict. They are not together as a couple and never have been. The youngest child was born a crack baby. The son doesn't do drugs, just sells it. My SIL fought tooth and nail to get both the mother to sign over parental rights. The family has been through hell and is still going through it because no matter what the mother does to screw up her kids' lives, the law is on her side. The father, however, can only have supervised visits cuz of the way he treated the mother. He slapped her once to "snap her out of a fit" while she was high. He has "straightened" her out several times but she keeps going back to drugs. Fast forward to today.... the father is a good father to the kids (actually the oldest is not his bio child but he loves him like his own) and does everything for them. They are spoiled rotten! The mother calls the oldest and tells him lies about his grandmother (my SIL) and tries to get him to spy on them for "ammunition against them". My SIL then tries to explain to him why his mother is acting like this but that she still loves him. The poor kid is so screwed up emotionally that he wants to talk to a judge cuz he says he doesn't know who to believe anymore and knows a judge wouldn't lie. He's had counsellors before too but the mother is just damaging him so bad. So much so that just yesterday, in fact, my SIL went to court to get a court order for the mother to have "no contact" with her kids. She didn't win cuz she didn't have enough evidence. She has appealed. I told my SIL that she should have the oldest talk to this judge so she could see for herself. With Children's Aid, the courts, etc.... it seems that they protect the mother more than they protect the kids. Which is a real shame! It seems that Children's Aid, the court, etc., seem to "forget" that the youngest was born a crack baby! The mother has more drug charges then the father, including other charges, and still the law is more on her side! The only reason why my SIL and brother got full custody of the kids was because my SIL found out that the mother was using someone else's urine for her mandatory drug tests. Just before they were to enter the court room, my SIL's lawyer requested a drug test (hair) right away. Test proves positive and her lawyer told her she'd lose the case so make it easier and sign away her rights. And she did. All the best to you! Check out these sites. It might be helpful. http://www.raisingyourgrandchildren.com/ http://www.usa.gov/Topics/Grandparents.shtml

You must be exhausted! First thing I'd do is talk to the preschool and get more information. Please ask them to speak frankly to you and NOT to sugar-coat things -- that you think there's something going on and you need their help. You said he doesn't know his colors and that he's "behind" -- exactly how? Ask about his speech, social skills, coping skills, fine and gross motor skills, ability to follow directions. What activities does he do over and over again? Which ones does he avoid? Are there any activities that are hard for him or that seem to stress him? Take notes and write it all down. Again, if you get the little spiel about how "sweet" your little boy is and how much they love him, thank them politely, but get down to the nitty gritty brass tacks. I'd also ask if it's possible to observe your son while he's there without being observed yourself. Let them know you're having some discipline problems at home, and since they don't seem to be, you'd like to see what's working so well for them. Even if you can't watch, just hearing about some of their techniques will help. Next, Google 'Disorder of Sensory Integration' or DSI. In a nutshell, it describes a set of symptoms where some children can't handle the types of ordinary sensory inputs (sights, sounds, sensations, tastes, smells) that most people can handle with ease. A typical child with DSI can be driven absolutely nuts by the seams on socks or labels on T-shirts, by the sensation of squishy mud or the sound of the vacuum cleaner. Other children with DSI won't be at all bothered by messy diapers, a skunk's smell, extreme temperatures or have minimal sensitivity to pain. Kids with DSI expereince severe discomfort, anxiety and even pain when confronted by the types of ordinary stimuli that surround most of us everyday. It's the kind of situation that can cause extreme and bizarre-seeming behavior in children that can look like ADD or even autism. The types of severe tantrums you're describing could very well be a child 'downloading' the stress of his day at pre-school in an environment he knows is safe. In a sense, he's having to work very hard to 'keep it together' at school and just falls apart when he hits home and can finally relax. The other thing I'd do is have a long talk with your speech path. Does he/she specialize in children? And if so, in children with special needs? (If not, consider switching.) If he/she has a few years experience and sees a lot of kids with developmental disorders, ask her what she thinks. True, she won't be qualified to give you any sort of diagnosis, but she SHOULD be able to give you an idea of what kind of specialist you may want to consult, or better yet, suggest a name or two.