I haven't had a chance to come back to this post until just now, thank you all so much for your advice, empathy and support. I did get feedback from my sister and older brother that they did get calls. Oly, your "you are loved" is definitely a great line to have in my pocket for the next time I receive a phone call. I am pretty confident it won't work but at least it gives me another tool. Ida, Ratherbsewing, Emory and anyone else who suggests trying to be honest, I have tried that tack. I could try again, maybe one day I will. Monica, Ahhh, I see you have been there. That's really the heart of the matter. Your words really hit home. 'I will tell him I love him when he says "I love you" because I DO love him. I'm mad as hell at him, but he's my brother and I love him. I don't like him, but I do love him" Do I still love this sibling? Maybe I don't know what love means? I love my kids- but they are my kids. I love my DH, he is my partner, my other half, the person who will always be there for me. I have 3 additional siblings to the problem person. One, a sister, she hurt me deeply in a dark period of my life when I most needed support. That ended many years of wanting to be great friends with her; I stopped trying to like her then. I do love her. I would give her a kidney, I would raise her children as my own, I would rush across the planet to be by her side if she was in need. I have two brothers I love them both. No questions asked I have their back. Would I feel " the guilt of remaining silent when (s)he says "I love you sis" after she is gone? I don't think so, but if I deny solace to someone who is in pain that is not the person I want to be either.

Chris: Queen of Sweden WANTS to be pruned. She doesn't want to be pegged or trained laterally. She has upright posture and would not deign to flop over a roof. I have two hedges of Queen of Sweden and several more scattered throughout my gardens because she roots easily and is a great rose to fill in narrow spaces. I deadhead mine every week and prune once a month. And she rewards me with a continuous bloom. If you don't want to prune you will have, as someone else said, sky pencils. But she is easy to cut back and this task of love should only take a couple minutes. I don't think it's a matter at all of forcing a plant to fit a spot. Some roses just require pruning to look their best. Best wishes!

Welcome to Houzz. I'm a hard flooring expert...cork actually so I'm not much help with carpet. The only thing I can say is to keep shopping. If you manage to get hold of a (tiny) swatch, then take it carpet shopping with you. What I can tell you is this: COLOUR is much more important in design than texture. I know you like the texture but 1000sf (or more) will cause this subtle texture to disappear (visually). You will go 'blind' to the texture very quickly. That means, if you find a COLOUR match to this carpet, you should SERIOUSLY consider it. At the end of the day, the colour will remain (you will always see the colour) but the minute texture/pattern will disappear very quickly (your brain will filter it out so that you only see the colour). Like looking at a field of rippened wheat, you only see the gold COLOUR...not the individual heads of grain.

It's a delicate balancing act for a couple to merge two different styles. But it can be done--I like everything Sigrid suggested. I'll also add that respect for each other's opinion is paramount. And you both don't need to love everything equally for a room to work. Depending on who uses a room more can be a determinant of whose preference is chosen. For example, I use the kitchen and the living room more, so my opinion and likes take priority over my husband's. But he is in the family room more, so that is his priority. And even though I am a professional, I always take into consideration his likes and dislikes. In your case, antiques and modern farmhouse can coexist nicely. Definitely create ideabooks and view them together to identify what you both like and dislike. And remember, it should be fun, decorating is not life and death!