Dear Ava Mapp, your story is unbearable. I understand what you are feeling and a lot of it is just plain anger. This is simply not fair. We depend on these professionals to make the right judgement call. Afterwards they tell you that you have to "be your own advocate." Don't listen to that. I'd say that the only way you might be very sure that you are getting the best treatment is if you have a family member who is a doctor or nurse and checks up and asks questions every step of the way. Even then, they tell you the medicine is an art and mistakes can be made. So I've expressed my own anger here on your behalf and which I have experienced myself. And in case anyone objects that the medical profession is a healing one -- yes, it can be. But it fails us many many times. I am grateful that there is so much good care but there are too many instances like this.

It is true, you are now on a roller coaster. Your husband's spirit is still nearby. I believe that. You are a loving wife and lost a wonderful husband and you need all the sympathy and help that surrounds you now and still it is just a bit of comfort. Please believe that he hears you and God hears you and will take care of him now. You are full of tears and that's how it will be for a long time. I don't know when it will end; for me, it's been only four months and I take it a day at a time. God bless your husband.

I'm so sorry for both of your losses, sending prayers your way. I hope the good memories of your husbands help you get throught these difficult days and months.

Dear Ava,

My heart is with you. I don't know if you will read this, but I pray God's peace to surround you. I also lost my husband suddenly, with no warning, a little over 9 weeks ago. He was 50. I do know the unbearable pain you are experiencing. It is unbelievable that we are going thru this. I am existing by living each day one hour at a time. Sometimes one breath at a time. I have to believe that there is a reason we are still here.

My husband was put on a rather radical diet the week prior to his death. Other warning signs were ignored. A cardiologist visit was not recommended, and I now know it should have been. I have anger toward his doctor, and toward God. I know that is wrong, but I do. My husband was a strong, faith filled believer in God and Jesus, but God chose to not save my husband. I could go on about those details immediately prior to his death.

Somehow we will go on. We have to. You wrote that you have children. That right there is a reason that you will be okay and you have a great reason to live on. Please take care of yourself and try and eat and sleep. Drop us a line if you read this. God bless you.

Thank you everyone for your love. I am still learning to cope I feel extremely lonely even though I have our kids at home. I also have our two grandbabies to keep me busy. They always hug me and tell me they miss their papa. I feel like I am constantly looking for him waiting for him to visit my dreams. I know this is going to be a long process. I just don't like being unhappy I can't find my self.I'm usually upbeat, funny cracking jokes. Now I'm sad and crying daily. I need to find peace , and I know I will in time.

It will take time, I am at just about 4 yrs now and it still hurts an I have bad days. I am very lonely most the time. I don't know if I will ever get used to this "aloneness"

Me neither Joann I feel extemely lonely. I pray that God helps us all in our time of need. I pray that we will find happiness one day.

You know, I have so many friends and I find I can be distracted. Yet daily, the terribly empty moments come without warning. It's a kind of loneliness that is new to me. I suppose that over the years I will experience it in other ways. I asked a friend of mine how she deals with her mother's dementia which is really a loss of the person who means so much to her. She said, "You learn to live with it." I thought this was so wise and simple. You don't 'get used to it.' You live with it. Happiness can come in moments but everyone lives with loss and still we can appreciate the other gifts in our daily lives.