Kathy, Sorry you having so much trouble, but glad the initial surgery is over. I was very lucky with my surgery and didn't have too much trouble afterward. I never had to take any pain meds stronger than a BC Powder, and my surgeon could not understand this because he said grown men beg for meds after the surgery. I know I have a high threshold for pain. My hip has never caused me any problems at all other than the skin over the incision tends to become dry and itchy. I had an unstable back fracture at L1 so my fusion is higher than yours, but I can't bend at the waist either, and also can't turn. I can turn my head, or my whole body, and nothing in between. In addition to the fusion, they added Harrington rods, so I have a lot of area tied off. They had intended to leave the rods about 2 years and then remove them, but I moved, had different doctors, different insurance, etc. and that just didn't happen. I have done really well and can do most things although I may do them in a different way. The first year and a half will be the worst, but after that you will have learned how to deal with it all and not hurt yourself doing it. I tell you all of this for several reasons. I hope it will help you to cope until you are feeling better. I had the surgery in 1986 and had very little pain until the last year or so, except the one listed below. Shortly after the surgery several things did happen to me, and you may have some of the same issues. (1) I had a metal taste in my mouth as if my fillings were melting. LOL I don't know if it was my body reacting to the metal in my back or what, but that lasted about a year. (2) The muscle burning still happens to me across my shoulders. I wonder if it isn't because so many nerves were cut. I would be very worried however if I had pain shooting down my legs as you describe because that sounds like a spinal issue. (3) I had one little spot (and I mean little spot) that hurt and felt like something was poking me with a sharp object. It was on the opposite hip from where the bone was removed. They did nothing on that side. The doc marked it and took xrays and there was nothing there that should hurt. Probably something pinching from the new posture. It went away on it's own. (4)I have had several dentists that would not touch my mouth unless I was on antibiotics. I took a lot. My current dentist doesn't do that, but I still usually ask for one when I am going to have my teeth cleaned. The theory at the time of my surgery was that a bacterial infection in your blood would quickly form along that steel and that was very close to the spine. Mine was probably because of my rods tho because I have 9 inches of steel down each side of my spine. That makes for a long incision. (5)I have screws also and some little things that look like bumper jacks. Every now and then it feels like I get a muscle hung on the wrong side of something. For me it is mostly at the top of my rods, but a screw would do the same thing. The muscle will ache and cramp, but usually if I can relax it will stop and slide back into the right place. In my case it normally happens when I am on my back and have my hand, or hands, above my head. I just lower my hand, try to relax, and wait. It seems to fix itself in a couple of minutes. (6)And there is the cold.....I was never a cold natured person and that is a good thing because when that steel gets cold, you are cold all over. Of course, I have a lot more steel, but when it gets cold, I don't just shiver, I shake. It bothers my husband so badly that he always just tries to put me in a big bear hug to try to help me warm up. I had suffered for many years with serious headaches which went away after the surgery. That was a bonus that the doc didn't expect. Life will be good again, but it will be a little different. Hang in there and it will get better. My thoughts and prayers go with you as you recover. Carol

My parents lived in a CCRC for 10 years and I worked in one for 3 years. I really like the concept, I'll be moving into one in 20 years or so. My parents moved through all the levels of care while they were there, both died in the nursing home (as they should have). They loved it there, and the system worked very well. Does she (or her estate) get all her buy in money back when she leaves? That actually depends on the kind of license it has, the best ones do give it all back (no interest though). She's young enough to get a lot of use out of the place. I would assume for her $900/month she gets a meal a day in the dining room? Usually, at that low monthly rate, she'll pay for extra services as she need them, which I think is a good idea. Make sure she understands what they are. Those extra services might include cleaning service, home health aide assistance, rides off the campus to social events, doctors' appointments etc. She'll probably love it, and have to pencil you into her social calender, she'll just be so busy! Good luck.

oh Nora, i feel so bad for you and your dad!and your right, you both need to be together and also your time alone to grieve!! thanks for asking about us, its been like a zoo around here lately, a lot going on!!!! Dh had to have a bunch of tests done to see where the cancer is, if spreading etc. went to dr on Monday, we knew they found a spot or something on his 11th rib, so had to have MRI done on it on TUes to have a closer look, haven';t heard the results of that yet, but might have to have radiation again on that the dr said, but we'll wait for the results. otherwise we were realy surprised that he doesn't have other spots or hasn't spread other than that rib, if thats what it is! he has a lot more pain in hips and legs, etc, but glad for the results he did get!! God is Good! our SIL Darren, had to have his testicle and cord removed last Friday. he's always had problems, but also had a complicated cyst on it too, dr had to make a cut up where a woman's ovary would be, its about 3 or 4" long, but it was as big as an orange the dr said, an he wanted it to come out whole incase it is cancer.Darren's been having a lot of problems with swelling an infection, was to er on Sunday night they wouldn't call dr, for him to see his dr the next day. the dr wasn't to happy they didn't call him!! changed his antibotic, and increased pain meds, but having more problems this morning, DD called the dr but he was in IN at a conference, said he could go to the ER and have another ultrasound done,but we know how our ER is! so he has to go see the dr tomorrow before noon! the dr usually uts a drain in but he didn't incase its cancer, doesn't want air to get to it, etc. pray its not cancer, bad enough he won't have any paychecks coming in! think he is a nervous wreck that it might be cancer!which is understandable! DGD K has been sick since Sat,coughs, throwing up, etc DD tok her to the ER last night, of course there everything is a upper respitory infection, her throat is really red, but didn't give her anything to take. i do't think she's thrown up today though, but wonder if some of it might be her nerves too, as they go to court the 2nd of Aug, about Darren adopting K!! DD is doing pretty good, hands full with her DH and K and the other 2 kids!DD starts LPN courses at Vo-tech the 1st of Aug! have to miss the 2nd day due to the court thing! I'm having a lot of problems with my neck and hand, been going to chiropractor to see if he can help, but hasn't made much difference. He says i have a double whammy, my neck has a herniated disc,degenerative disc and joint disease,spurring, something else but forget with it is right now, both my sisters have the same thing, only theirs affects their right hand!and I also have carpal tunnel in left hand. from below my elbow and whole hand will jsut start tingling like going to sleep,very annoying!!I would have thought i'd have it in right hand since that is the one i use the most and run mouse with!! so go to a specialst the 1st going to start there seeing about the hand. I also had to have a DnC done again an couple of months ago, but no cancer. go in Sept for another ultrasound on uterus. so now aren't you sorry you asked!! LOL so say a prayer for all of us too. never a dull moment around here! the other DGKs and our DS are doing ok though, so thats good! thanks for the prayers! take care and God bless! DianePA

Not happy with being unable to lose a few pounds I've gained or with my lack of motivation to get back to exercising more than twice a week. However on a positive note DH, who has a major sweet tooth and always has dessert around, has decided to cut back on this. He's the model for being fit and trim but after having a stroke his doctor wants him to get his LDL lower and he doesn't want to take medication. He exercises a lot and eats very healthy other than the sweets so he's cut that out. I'm amazed how easily he has just eliminated it. The good thing for me is that now we don't have this around to tempt me which will be very, very good for my sugar addiction and in turn my weight loss I think. Now that I've killed off the dark chocolate covered pretzel crisps the house is all clear of this stuff. I don't have a problem avoiding buying it, just avoiding eating it if it's around. I've also decided I need to eat more protein. I'm not a big meat eater though I don't mind meat. I'm just a big fruit, vegetable and whole grain eater which is fine but not great for protein consumption. I'm thinking if I eat same calories but more protein I'll be more satisfied and not wanting to eat as much. Time will tell. My 57th birthday is coming up in ten days. I'm happy to be getting "old" considering I've had cancer three times. Yippee!! Between my situation and DH's stroke last year, we are very focused on enjoying life and doing things we want to do before we croak. You never know how much time you've got. We truly enjoy every day but for special events, we're going to Scotland in September. I've also just made reservations to go to Yellowstone and Grand Teton in the fall of 2015. We joke (kind of) that we hope we're still around by then. Seems like a long way off but it goes by fast.