I think we should all think about it. Even at a younger age. I sure never thought 30 or so yrs ago that I'd be in such bad shape at retirement time.

I decided when I moved over here that it was time to go thru everything and get rid of what I could. Give away, take to GW, ship a few things back to the kids and gkids. And at least start organizing other things. I've done some of that but not near enough.

And as I've replaced things here I think of my hands - and legs. Lever handles, 1 handle faucets (when they're changed), vinyl plank floors (easier to clean, not a dust collector since I'm in the desert). Things like that.

Anything that will make things easier for me - or someone else if I have help.

It takes so much longer to do things now. A trip to walmart (not 5 min away) took me over an hr the other day. I only shopped on 1 side of the store and only spent about 20.00 (so I didn't buy much). By the time I got home and brought in 2 bags (fridge stuff) I was so tired.

It would be better to have no steps rather than the 4 I have... desert land isn't usually that much to keep up but when we have a lot of rain, stuff springs up. in summer it'll turn to fire fuel, so it has to go.

I'll probably buy some long handled gizmo for someone else to use to clean windows outside.

It's something to think about if remodeling or replacing anything in the home. Think easy to use and low upkeep.

I think that getting older is a major reason many people downsize- it is for us. We are in our 60's, and in pretty good health, but I can see what lies ahead. We planned our new house around aging in place. We have a lot of land, but will have very little actual lawn to take care of. The woods are so pretty that we don't really need to make improvements. The outside and inside finishes are very low-maintenance. By the time they need replacing, we'll be too old to DIY anyway.

I'm building our house, and it has gotten me in good shape (I've lost 40 lbs. since I started!), but the aches and pains remind me daily that 'm not a kid anymore.

When we bought this house,manufactured home, new to us we made changes to it so it would be easier to live here as our forever home. My hubby is still with me but he was diagnosed with pancreas cancer Jan 2013 and went through the chemo and massive surgery and slow recovery for the last two years. He is just now starting to be able to help around here again. So for the last two years I have not only cared for him I had the burden of everything even the bills which he has always taken care of. And all other paper work that came at me and believe me there was a ton of it.

I am 65 he will be 75 in April. When we moved here June of 2008. We did it all by ourselves. On the last day moving in I gave out and fortunately there were guys here building the shop for Joe and one of them helped haul the couch in. It was so heavy. It is also gone from here now. No more moving that brute. If I get to the point I can no longer take care of myself I will have to hire some one to help me. You never know when this could happen but I do not for see it for awhile. Like you working so hard in your yard. I do try to stay active and strong. I feel it is important and especially important to be able to take care of my hubby. Always praying for the cure trying to stay positive. But you just never know until you know.

Oh my...this is our situation, exactly. We're being forced to move (unless we have a last minute pardon this week) by the mortgage company, due to my husband's illness/bankruptcy. So, as he recovers, it makes sense to downsize from 80 acres to something smaller.

While my mom is more the age to consider downsizing, a change in circumstances can strike at any time. I've gotten to the point, where I just want to take our horses, our cats, ourselves and a few precious items (okay furniture and at least a few of my dishes and books) to a new place.

It would have been more difficult a few years ago...but I'm actually looking forward to letting things go. I guess this would be me, right now. LOL

I agree. Everything can't be so important. A friend sold her home and moved out of state. She lived in her home for about twenty Years. Just watching her have to go through everything from the attic to the basement, made me look around my own home. Although my rooms aren't cluttered per se, our attic, garage and basement are filled.

It's overwhelming to think about what we will have to go through.

I always feel there is no time like the present to start in on it. Just one box or corner or shelf at a time. Deal with everything on/in/around and then do another area. Do the easy parts first. Then move on to the spaces you know you will have emotional issues. I think I am also trying to talk myself into this as I just said to a friend I need to tackle the loft once again. I have done it over and over and each time I find more stuff that can go away. Think of it as peeling layers off an onion.

We definitely considered aging in place in our last two home purchases. One-storey, easy access. The current house has a basement, but it's storage only. And the house is small enough I don't know that we could retrofit the baths for wheelchairs, but I'm hoping we're a ways from that, yet.

Although is was daunting, and it exhausted me, the process of shedding the extra stuff from our old home in our old state was definitely liberating. Our house is small, simple, easy. We can stay here indefinitely.

There is a lot of wisdom here. We bought this home with aging in place as our main consideration because we had an 89 yo father moving here with us. The first floor laundry and half bath are why we moved. Dad insisted on going to the basement to do his own washing, and we really needed an second bathroom with Dad here.

This house had a lot of steps - but all one at a time! It is a 1978 ranch. There is a 4" step up from the foyer, another from the laundry room, and a 6" step down into the family room. There used to be a 6" step down into the living room, but the previous owner put in a false floor and carpet to hide it and when we spent $40,000 fixing the foundation issues he was hiding with this move, we filled it up with concrete to bring the floor up to the same level as the foyer next to it. I had aircraft aluminum ramps for every step in the house bought before we even moved in. Then came the emergency need for the driveway-to-front door ramp when Dad could not walk reliably when an illness made him suddenly blind at age 91. Unfortunately, he passed away at age 94.

Now the bathroom needs gutting due to water infiltration, so I am widening the door to 36" and getting rid of the tub - yes, the only one in the house - to make a roll-in shower for me because I have finally been diagnosed with the collagen disorder I always thought I had, and that means no new knees for me. My ligaments and tendons will not take the surgery well and I would be worse off if I tried to do it. My kneecaps have been dislocating since I was in my mid teens, and I think last spring's MRI found missing cartilage, torn cartilage, tendonitis, severe arthritis and a Bakers cyst. So we are planning for anything that could happen!

When we remodeled the kitchen, we replaced the step down into the family room with a permanent ramp that has been covered with the flooring and is just a feature of the house now.

Nice couch Nancy. sorry to hear about your knees. I would not worry much about the tub being gone. We lived in a house with no tub for 4 years and I thought I missed my tub so much. Then we moved to house with shower over tub and I rarely used it as a tub. Our master does not have a roll in shower but it is a very small step up. It worked for Joe when he was so sick even sitting on the built in bench. We do have a tub in the guest bath. In almost 7 years I think I might have used it three times. other than to shower in.

Loving your long runner rug. Do you remember where you found it? do you have anything under it to keep it from sliding down the ramp or does it have a rubber backing?

My house is very conveniently laid out for aging in place, with three back doors, two of which could easily accommodate ramps. We've had our share of snow and sleet recently, which has made me think about the inevitable problems, even though I'm a healthy and active 57.

I need to do some work on my master bath, so I'm thinking about trying to make it more handicap accessible. My dream has been to have a claw-foot tub, but at this point, I don't know if it's realistic. Currently, I have a tub/shower combo, and I'm planning to convert (if possible) to a walk-in, door-less shower and separate tub.

DD and her young family live with me, and while there is safety in numbers, I don't know how long they will be here. Barring catastrophic health issues, I think I could handle things for another 20 years, but it would be nice if they gradually took over, and eventually let me 'retire'.

We have one of those roll-in showers...and it's wonderful! So easy to take a shower and I'd love to have another if we move.

As for the claw foot tub...why not? I hope to have one someday! My grandmother had one and we rented her house for a while. It was so easy to get in and out of the tub with those high sides. Add a handicap rail or two and it would be even easier :)

Not to mention that if removal is ever needed (say for wheelchair turning room), a clawfoot tub is probably the easiest plumbing fixture to remove. Perfectly practical!

Chris, I somehow missed seeing your comment in there when I was here last time! The runner was bought online, maybe at rugs.com? Not sure, it was well over ten years ago. I do have a strip of rubbery waffle-like anti-slip rug mat underneath it. I really like the runner, it goes well with the linoleum in these rooms. I should go get it, it has been at the rug cleaners for a year, probably! I am afraid to put it back down because I bet Miss Lizzy, my current dachshund girl, will poop on it! My last girl, Bina, used to pee on it. Lizzy likes to pee outside and poop inside in the winter. Sheesh!

The couch is my Craigslist find. A very good deal at $500 for a couch that had really never been used. My Toby has licked most of the dark color off of the seat cushion on that side of the couch! We must have had it 6 - 8 years now.

Though I'm only mid-40s, "all of the above" is one of our major reasons for building.

I was very, very close to my grandmother, and I saw the physical struggles she went through in her last years. I couldn't "fix" everything in her world, but I did note quite a few things -- mostly small to moderate things -- that could've made her life easier: Steps, door handles, the shower stall.

One thing I'd question: The clawfoot tub. I hear you when you say that a high sided-tub is easier to get into . . . but wouldn't it require that a chair of some sort be placed near it? If so, better plan for space for that chair. I had considered that removing a clawfoot tub (to allow more space) would be easier - and then the clawfoot tub could always be replaced at your convenience. I was thinking that a deck-with-tub would be best. I'd like to hear discussion and thoughts on this topic.

We had a garden tub with a seat at the edge of the tub inside and one on the outside with large area around it. Maybe if the tub had been smaller it might have been good for an elderly person but I felt it was a real pain to use and especially to clean. AND to fill it emptied the water heater and I just felt that was such a waste.

The claw foot tub would take up less room and a bench or chair could be set beside it. Again we planned to age in our house and had them leave out the large corner garden tub. This left us with a large master bath with walk in shower. It all worked very well when my hubby was so disabled after his surgery. At first I did bring in a captains chair for him for more support and I could control him better. YIKES that sounds bad. He needed so much help. Picture a 180 infant. There was lots of space in the bathroom to set the chair in the center and work around him for drying dressing. When he could sit up on his own for longer I changed the chair to a bench. There are built in benches in the shower he could sit on.

shades - I have a garden tub and would like to have it ripped out! such a pain to clean. I've never used it but the dirt sure collects in it.

Steph the people that bought our house with the garden tub did have it ripped out. Made the bathroom so much nicer.

Thanks Nancy I will look for one like it. I love the soft colors.

mrspete, my hesitance to use a clawfoot tub in a remodel is due to the issue of many elderly people losing the ability to raise their feet high enough to step in, even with a grab bar. I'm already seeing this with several older members of my family--my father-in-law recently installed a fairly expensive walk-in tub, for just that reason.

If anyone develops Parkinson's, Lewy Body Disease, or Alzheimer's, they might eventually 'forget' how (lose the ability) to step into a tub, how to get up, and how to instinctively catch themselves when sitting down. My father had a stroke last year--he hasn't regained 100% strength in his right hand and arm, and stumbles more often, because he doesn't remember that he's no longer raising his right leg as high as he did before the stroke.

I think that I'd be OK with a clawfoot tub, or standard tub, for another 20 years or so. I could put in a large, garden window, or what used to be called a coffin door, to make replacement easier, since my master bath is in the farthest corner of the house. Also, it faces the backyard, so I wouldn't be flashing the neighbors. ;)

We took out a 'garden tub' to put in the walk-in shower. It was a terrible tub, really shallow, yet awful to clean.

A claw foot tub is wonderful and much easier to replace. At some point, there is always one of these tubs...which are supposed to be much safer than any regular tub!

We have been thinking of this with each project. When we did the bathrooms, we put 2 grab bars in each shower. We removed the tub in one bathroom and installed shower only with a small curb. Now if only I could find a way to move the laundry out of the basement!

Fortunately the grab bars came with our shower and shower over tub. I find myself using the grab bar all the time. More just to feel secure when I lift my foot up to the bench to wash. Or if I lean over to pick up the soap I dropped. Love the grab bars.

When Joe was so sick he used the guest bath mostly. It worked well because the toilet is between the wall and vanity. The vanity makes for a good grab spot. Also helped for me to stabilize him when he was not really strong enough to hold himself up. That was not planned when we did this house but is very useful.

lavender_lass - "We took out a 'garden tub' to put in the walk-in shower."

was it horribly difficult to get it out? Did it take a long time? What was underneath? I'd like mine torn out but I'm afraid of what will be found under it... yikes - that could be so scary! I'm also afraid of how long it'd be in the 'torn up' process.

My sister weighs somewhere over 425# and her garden tub was also her shower. It finally got a leak and I bought a nice big shower cabinet to replace it with. My brother tore it out, but refused to use the cement board that I bought to put under the shower. He said he never needed it at his house. I said his house was not a flimsy mobile home and he did not weigh as much as our sister! No convincing him. Well, guess who has been taking sponge baths in front of the sink for the past several years because her shower leaks?

So don't forget the cement board under the new shower if you get a fiberglass shower kit. No matter your size, the extra support cannot hurt!

Nancy - thx for the info - I'm not that big (I'm not real tiny either) and I wouldn't be replacing it with a shower. I have a separate shower in there and it's plenty big enough for me. at least for now. I won't do anything with it that would take away putting one there in the future tho. I was thinking of putting my full length 3 panel mirror there and a storage cabinet. that cabinet would let me reclaim about a third of one of my closets that I now use for bathroom stuff - towels, wash clothes, tp, Kleenex, meds, shampoo etc

and shame on your brother for not listening to you - that is sad for your sister!

No, it was not difficult to remove. Flimsy manufactured home tub (fiberglass?) so it came out easily enough. Don't miss it at all :)

oh good. What was under it? was putting a floor over where it was a major deal?

This is a very good post! I already live in a small home, on 1/4 of an acre. I'm working on decluttering and getting rid of iron, etc. that DH collected through the years, and is stored in a couple of areas of the property. He's been gone now 2 years and three months and I'm slowly getting things done to suit me better. I'll be 66 the first day of spring. We did everything together, and having to get help, ask for help is very hard to do.

Our minds think we can still do things, but our bodies tell us otherwise.

FlowerLady

P.S. Chris ~ I don't know if I have the right email addy for you, and I couldn't find one here at all, so I'll give the one I have a go. If it doesn't work, could you please come to my blog to get my email addy in my profile and write to me? I've missed you too and thank you for your kind comment on my blog. I changed email addys, lost yours, had to look it up in old files, so hope what I found works. :-)

I think it was just the sub-floor. I didn't take it out, but the contractors didn't seem to have to patch anything.

That's one nice thing about manufactured homes...they're assembled in a factory and are usually pretty easy to disassemble :)

Lavender Lass, I can't exactly speak to the cost/effort of having a garden tub pulled out ... but we did just pull out the tub in our girls' hall bath, and we replaced it with a walk-in shower (equal in size to the old, standard tub). Details:

- They removed the old glass doors, tub surround, and plumbing fixtures. We talked briefly about doing the demolition ourselves -- my husband said jokingly, "I can destroy things", but we didn't follow through with that idea. We decided to pay.

- They cut the old tub in half (so they could get it out) and threw it out in the yard. They told me that someone would probably steal it and haul it away for scrap, but that didn't happen -- at least I THINK the garbage men took it away.

- The flooring underneath was good, but they installed a new concrete shower pan w/ a slope, then nice tile and all new plumbing fixtures and new pipes behind the new tile. They used a standard 3-4" "step over barrier" into the tub.

- Finally, they finished it off with a new shower-sized glass door.

I couldn't be happier with the results, and my girls like it -- they haven't used the tub since they were small children, and if they "get a hankering", we still have a tub in our bathroom.

Total cost: About $2600 ... plus another $150 for tile. We plan to sell this house in another year or so, so I wanted to stay basic and inexpensive on the tile. Our walls are 12x12 in a simple varigated tan, and our floor is a 2x2 mosaic of tan shades -- inoffensive, appealing to buyers, coordinates with the tan tile floor we already had. The shower floor, though smaller than the wall area, made up over half the tile cost -- smaller tiles add up fast! You could easily spend $$$$$$ on tile without even trying. Choosing the larger tiles and a mosaic on mesh saved us money ... because our guys were able to install it faster.

Total time: 2 full days

They're coming back in early summer to do the same thing to the walk-in shower in my bathroom. If they make this into a slightly smaller version of my girls' shower, I'll be thrilled. I'll do one small thing differently: I'm going to have them install TWO niches (or one larger niche) for more in-shower storage; in retrospect, I wish I'd done that in my girls' bathroom.

I had the unfortunate experience of having to deal with an estate of a person that kept everything in a mess - not a hoarder but very very disorganized.

As I worked through that, I promised myself that I would live a de-cluttered life. My husband and I do that fairly regularly; unfortunately we are sometimes too diligent and end up turning around and buying something that we got rid of a few months prior LOL!

My hubby and I are in our 40s, but aging and keeping up was on my mind when we were relocated and had to buy a new house. We had lived in two story Colonials for many years, and hubby liked that style. We were all used to sleeping on a second story, but watching Parkinson's steal from my mother's life, I felt we should buy a house with a bedroom and accessible shower on the main level with a thought that we could be living in this house as we age.

We moved from a Colonial to a cape cod next door to my daughter that enables us to age in place. The PO's modified the first floor bathroom to include a shower that is easy to get in and out of and has grab bars. The laundry area is in the basement but there are grab bars on the stair well. We will need someone to help with laundry and yard work some day, but my DD lives next door. She was intent on having us live next door so she could take care of us later and hopes we will take care of future grandbabies before that time comes. I absolutely loved getting rid of "stuff" before we moved.

The house i built almost 7 years ago, and *assumed* was my 'forever dream home' is more than likely going to be a real estste listing in the next couple of months, and i' m starting the 'going thru' process. The reason for the move is because my DD and family who lived 5 houses down the street, needed to send the 2 kids to much better school district since private school was becoming too costly. I don't like living 45 minutes away, and having neighbors that all work, as well as my closest friend 45 minutes away. I'm now looking to move closer to the kids/ grands, but never saw this coming.

I have kids in 2 other states, a good friend of 50+ years in another, a sister i'm close to in another, so maybe i should divide my time between them, and forget about the hastles of a house......hahaha. I' ve actually considered renting a townhouse/condo, but DD is in a somewhat rural area, and don't know if there are any in reasonable proximity to where she lives. If it' s 30-45 minutes I may as well stay put.

I wish I could retrain my thinking as I get older. I've always thought of myself as independent, and have lived by myself for the majority of the past 20 years, until my oldest DD (50) chose to leave Ca and i invited her to live w/me in Tx. I also lived within 20 minutes of 3 of the kids when in Ca. Since when does getting older * require* us to feel the need to live closer? Is it ' normal' ?

My husband and i were separated for 20 years, and before he retired all he would talk about was his fear of being by himself. Unfortunately he passed away shortly after his retirement, but came to live with me until the end, never having gone thru what he thought was his worst fear. Have i subconsciously inherited that fear?

Sorry this got so off track.

Yes, you are very normal. People survive by living in tribes, groups, families, communities. Very few of us are truly self-sufficient. And accidents happen! So, it makes sense that we all (especially as we get older) want someone around to talk to, shop with, cook together, garden, assist with repairs, etc.

My husband tells my mom to call him, when she gets home....no matter what time. She can be shopping in the afternoon or out to dinner with friends in the evening. But, she calls :)

She told me she wondered what her friends would say about that (LOL) so she finally asked a few. Every one of them said they wished they had someone, who did that.

Yes, you can be 'independent' and live on your own. Afford to hire repairs done and take care of yourself, financially. But, it's still nice, when someone is there if you have a problem or just want to talk about an exciting day! Or know that same person will drive the 30 minutes to town, to make sure you're not stranded on the side of the road....if you don't call.

Go live by your daughter and eliminate that long drive. And enjoy your time together!

Awwwww lavender lass, thank you for your understanfing and your opinion on this issue. While going thru some things this afternoon, i said out loud, to myself, " I WANT to be near my family"! I think verbalizing, and actually hearing it, made me see the importance on so many levels! DD and i have always had a great relationship, and the distance does hinder our special times together. I have to move faster so i can do what i NEED to do, MOVE! It's a nice house, but still JUST A HOUSE. My family is my world.

We wanted to be near family when we bought our rural property, but they proved to be a moving target. Now, two relatives are deceased, and another has moved from the area we were considering. I have family in New England, but that's just out of the question for us. My BIL tried to stay near his sons, but they have scattered all over the country, none near him now. Our own son lives in FL, but isn't married, and rents an apartment. His job (or a lady friend) could take him most anywhere, so we had to decide where we wanted to live on our own. If we ever have grands, that will complicate things a LOT, though.

I'm mostly estranged from my family, so feel no pressing need to live close to them, but I do feel a need to cultivate close relationships with others (friends) so that I will have that 'tribe' feeling as I age. Many of my friends have moved to other far-off places more than a drive away, but things like Skype and Facetime allow us to call each other for 'virtual tea' and catch up, just as if we are in person. As long as I have that, I think I'll do ok.

Definitely planning on saving up to have 'hired help' as we age though...I want to be the old granny doddering in her garden when Im 95!