Cut square footage. Build the old fashioned way. Instead of building 3000 sf at once, buid a central 1500 sf structure, and then do 750 sf addition later when it's mor affordable, and another 750 sf addition later again.

Condense your wants into one or two, and focus on needs only.

Put all of your essential living requirements on the first floor. Make the kids bedrooms small. Include an 8x10 room that you will, in the future, convert to a staircase which will open up an entire 2nd floor attic, under a steeply pitched roof, into which you can build more bedrooms, bathrooms, media rooms, etc. Then back on the first floor combine 2 small bedrooms into one.

Another variation, instead of a 2-car garage, build it for 3 and put a steep pitch roof on top. This creates lots of volume up in your attic. The important point here is that widening the garage involves minimal marginal costs, same with increasing the slope of the roof.

Both suggestions involve designing the structure of the house to incorporate space that can sit unfinished for now and which can be developed piecemeal as circumstances warrant.

With your 4 young kids approaching the leave for college stage your demand for square footage is temporary. However, planning for the return of college grads is wise. In 2011, 85% of college grads moved back home and stayed for a while. The Census Bureau reports that 19% of men between the ages of 25-34 are now living with their parents and that 59% of men between the ages of 18-24 do the same. Young women, it seems, are willing to pay any price to live apart from their parents, which explains why their rates are much reduced compared to those of young men.

You wanting to expand your space to accommodate visiting children and grandchildren is definitely giving you leeway for the newish phenomenon of boomerang kids, in that most adult children would be happier in a more spacious bedroom than the tiny kid's bedroom they had as children.

Ditch all the tile and wood floors. Stain the concrete slab yourself. Flooring can come later, and stained concrete looks great. Super easy to acid stain DIY.

I have 5 kids (all still at home) and we are just starting our custom home build. We left the bonus room over the garage unfinished for now with the plan to finish it later. I've also found some great deals on Craigslist. I saved about $2000 buying a display model hutch that a cabinet company didn't want. It's nicer than the one I was going to buy. There are quite a few people on here that were able to score deals from online retailers for fixtures etc. We will be doing some of the finish work ourselves (tile, paint, installing wood floors) but we are also owner builders and I know that's not always possible for everyone.

In my personal experience, "we'll do it later" on counters never happened. We started with laminate and said later we'd do granite and never did. Realized later that laminate functioned fine and ended up selling the house. Some simple ways we saved was not doing a steep pitch on our roof. Less space to heat and air condition, less materials used. We also coffered our ceiling up to 10 feet. We honestly could have done and 9 foot been fine, but I wouldnt have gone lower than 9. The higher the ceilings, the more cost with materials the more you pay in utilities. We started to buy things on our own instead of adding them to the loan. If you do multiple stories, you'll pay less on foundation costs. Concrete is expensive! We did painted cabinets instead if wood stained bc you don't have to use a fancy wood. I wanted painted in the beginning so that was a plus. If you are thinking long term living, do wide doorways and consider accessibility. Cheaper to build that now than remodel later.

Are the four children who are still at home young . . . or are they about to head out to college in the next few years? How many bedrooms /baths do you feel you need for these "full time" children?

Fast forward to 10-20 years in the future -- all your kids are out of the house, but you want to be prepared for their visits: What kind of bedroom facilities would you like to have for them? For example, two bedrooms with queen sized beds . . . plus a bunk room for grandchildren? Or would you rather see an apartment over the garage? Or a couple small bedroom-only cottages out back (which would be practical in that you wouldn't have to heat/cool them all the time)?

Something you didn't say, but I suspect it'll be an issue: You
mentioned being able to put all these people to bed -- how about feeding
them? Do you anticipate having a large table for the whole crowd?
Space where folding tables can be set out? If so, where are those
folding tables going to live most of the time? Or an expanding table?
And if your main table is LARGE, are you two going to be comfortable
having your meals at that large table most of the time . . . or will you
want a smaller, more cozy table (or a booth) for the two of you?

I think tying down those ideas -- your expectations -- is a good starting point. Once we know what you want to build, we can be more discerning and give ideas.

I would not make expensive decisions based upon the possibility that the children may return home to live after college. Yes, many kids DO return home, but that doesn't mean they're staying for years and years. I'm fine with my kids coming home ANY TIME for their whole lives, but that doesn't mean I'm going to provide an adult-style master suite for them. They each have a 12x12 bedroom and a shared bath on the hall.

General thoughts, given that you're already concerned about costs and raising 6 children isn't cheap:

- Build a house with a simple footprint. That is, a rectangle or a square is cheaper to build than a complicated exterior with lots of jigs and jogs. If you're saying, "But I don't want a plain-looking house!", keep in mind that you can "gussy it up a bit" with porches, gables, etc. for less money than you can have lots of changes in your exterior walls.

- Build a house with a simple roof. A roof is BIG money, and -- just like the above hint -- keeping it simple means keeping it inexpensive. Well, maybe I should say less expensive. Super-tall European roofs and multiple roofs are more expensive than a simple gable roof with a peak above the front door.

- Keep everything standard size. Standard sized trusses, doors, windows, cabinets, etc. are significantly less expensive than custom this /oversized that. For example, consider carpet: Let's say you've picked out a carpet that comes in 12' rolls (that's pretty standard). If your bedroom is 12' or less, you're golden; however, if your bedroom is 13' square, you're going to have to pay for TWO runs, even though you only need 1' of that second run. Hopefully it'd fit in another spot in the house, but you get the idea.

- Consolidate your plumbing. That is, keep it close together so that your plumbing runs can be as short as possible. This also decreases the amount of pipe that can cause a leak sometime in the future. How to do this? Pick a plan that places your kitchen /your master bath /your laundry "back to back". This means that you only need water to run through the walls in that area. If you can have your upstairs bathrooms directly above these plumb lines, you'll save money there too. Before you decide you MUST have a sink in the mud room, though it's not near any other water, think twice.

- Since you're already thinking of a two-story house, plan to "stack" your walls on top of one another. This support makes building the house simpler. Yes, you can have a great room that stretches across the back side of the entire downstairs, and you can have bedrooms above that great room -- but you're going to have to have some expensive supports across the top of that great room to support those upper bedrooms. In contrast, if you have a great room that's only one story . . . no need to support anything above it. Some people say that two-stories are cheaper because the foundation is smaller; this is sometimes true -- but it's not a universal truth.

- I agree with the poster above who laments having jumped into a house too quickly . . . without really researching and learning his or her "style". I'd make a guess that when people do this, they're typically young and are jumping at what's trendy today -- and then they realize too late that they hadn't really made their own choices. That's very easy to do. I'd suggest that you start collecting pictures of the things you like -- and look for a pattern. For example, I found very clear patterns on what I like in terms of kitchens! And my preferences aren't what's popular today at all. Similarly, I found that as I looked at house plans, house plans, house plans, I'd find myself saying, "Yes, I like ____ enough to give up _____", but a few things stood out as NO COMPROMISE items. For example, I'm fine with a small master bedroom, but it must be on the first floor. I prefer a small kitchen, but it must include a large pantry. The garage can be to the front of the house, but it cannot stick out so far that it becomes the most prominent feature of the house. He'd say that the master bath must have a deep soaker tub. We didn't decide those non-negotiables in a week; it took time and much discussion.

- Finally, I do not support the idea of "we'll change it later". Doing it twice is both more expensive and more wasteful, and it's awfully easy for tomorrow never to come (especially with so many children). I say build what you can afford, and be happy with it. Don't second-guess yourself or measure yourself against the Pinterest and Houzz standards. And do not make yourself house-poor; that's always a mistake.

not sure where your location is, but we tried to save some costs by building a 1 1/2 story home with a walk out basement. We have put the 3 kids' bedrooms in the basement with basic finishes (staining the concrete floors, standard trim package, tub/shower units, etc. for their spaces. We are not finishing the upstairs (we don't have to b/c we are building a garage apt. for my mother so that counts as an additional bedroom for appraisal purposes). But you could do bedrooms on the first floor and in a walk out basement to accommodate all of your kiddos or finish a couple upstairs? Just a thought. We found that it's saving up on cost and will also save on AC (we're in the South) and taxes since the basement is assessed differently.

To be fair I have been planning a build for a few months. I too wanted to build a cost effective home and started looking. Most of these things I knew but a few were interesting learns. I have come up with a few hints. I will ditto some of what mrspete said.

(1) Roof changes and roof peaks are magical to everyone who doesn't have to sleep under them. There is probably no bigger waste of money in a house than a home with 14 roof peaks (my soon to be neighbors btw.) Roof peaks add nothing to the inside of the house, make reroofing so cost prohibitive that it is probably more cost effective to sell the house before it needs a new roof, drastically increases the chance at leaks and all this with a significantly increased cost. Hey but your neighbors will love it.

(2) Bump-outs are great for builders, framers, masons, roofers and probably a few other people walking around your job site. How else could you add 16 sq.ft. to a house for only $10,000? You really can't, I guess it is either a 16 sq.ft. bump-out or add 100 sq.ft. The first thing I do when I look at a house plan is straighten out the back and side walls. Unless you are running into a problem with spans it is usually cheaper to extend the entire back and side of the house to the bump-out than it is to do the bump-out.

(3) Talk to an engineer or consult a truss company about the spans before you look at plans. They will love to hear from you and will be especially happy if they find you are talking to them before the architect (you may even get a discount if you call architects idiots a few times in the conversation.) We found a clear breakpoint in our material cost, up to a certain clear span our material cost rose steadily and at a certain point they really jumped up.

(4) Under roof space and basement space is absolutely the most cost effective space in a house. Under roof space for future expansion doesn't get any more expensive than planning where your future staircase will go and using attic trusses. The cost is minimum and since the attic square footage is above grade it will add significantly more value to your home than below grade square footage, and do so cheaper than even basements.

(5) And lets not forget basement. Put one in, plumb a couple of baths and profit if you ever need to finish it. Even better if you can get away with it is to stick the garage in the basement. Since roofs and exterior walls are more expensive then eliminate both surrounding a place to park your car. I have heard the costs of a 2 car garage realistically ranges from $25,000 to $50,000 depending on how you use the space above it. Stick it in the basement and that cost drops to $2,000 to $3,000.

(6) I almost hate to put this on here as someone is going to go postal and in full disclosure this is a money saving tip I am only looking at as a reference point on my build. I lived in Dubai for a few years and my villa (which cost a metric ton of money) had Ikea kitchen cabinets. They have been the best cabinets I have ever had. One of the simplest things is the cabinets were on legs that were metal, and the kick plate attached to the legs and could be removed. Not something I would have thought I wanted or needed, however, when I came back to the U.S. a small leak in a window caused me to have to redo my entire kitchen as the cabinets sat on the floor in the water. I am not saying they are the greatest thing in the world, I am only saying that for the same kitchen layout one builder quoted custom at $29,000 Ikea priced at $6.900, and that is before one of their famous 20% off cabinets sales. They will hurt you at resale but $22,000 is not something to sneeze at.

Mommabear you have received such great advise here. I find that we are in a similar situation as you, so let me offer some suggestions...

--we have 4 children, all recent college grads, BUT when we started the design process, 2 were still in college. MY perspective has changed drastically in 2 years time. At the start, I could not even to begin to imagine that I would not have a child living at home; in fact I wanted to be sure that none of my children felt "pushed out" of the nest simply because we were building a new house. So I made certain that the architect knew that our plans needed to include "a pillow for each head"....so everyone definitely has their space, but as mrspete states, there are no master suites for everyone.

--as you stated, this is your forever home. And if you are like us, this is probably your "dream" home....you sort of graduate to finer fixtures and details. Don't mistake that for "grander, larger" details. You can refine and upgrade and do all those wonderful things that you work hard to save for, but the physical space does not have to increase.

--simplify the roof. For us that meant lowering the pitch rather than simplifying the lines; although I am sure we could have saved more if we had simplified also.

--by re-orienting the porte-cochere and garage, we saw great savings by eliminating the need for a large retaining wall.

--we lowered some windows so that they do not break into the roofline.

--ok, for the biggest cost savings of all......we had been working with our architect and general contractor to bring our estimate down, and we still had quite a ways to go.....so weeks before we were to break ground, we took the drastic (and at the time difficult) step of eliminating our entire second floor....the second floor held the adult children's idealized "suites", the ones meant to coax them home and complete my vision of many happy Holidays with grandchildren, etc.....well guess what, we found plenty of room for these same bedrooms. albeit smaller in scale, in our walkout basement. By rearranging a great room, media room and bar area, we were able to have all bedrooms with large windows. There are shared baths now, but still very private space for each child.

The only sacrifice was my greatly anticipated storage, storage, storage. So now I will "purge" before the move, which will be better for me in the long run.

--good luck with your plans and your choices. And try to remember to enjoy the process.

Here is my list.

Two story, simple gable, use space above the garage, inside maintain I-joists to 18ft cheap spans, avoid steel beams - LVL beams are cheaper and crane is not needed to install them, don't over indulge with windows - you could spend from $6k - $40k. Avoid fancy stair cases - takes long time to build, U shape stairs can be pre-fabs and or cheap to build onsite. May include untaxed unfinished space to be completed later. No two story anywhere.

Don't plan on geothermal: payback is never and modern airsource HP with NG Gas backup will do better, also avoid "high efficiency" hvac like 21 SEER - you will never see it and roi is doubtful, design rectangular shape building to minimize siding, forget foam between joist (except rims) - use polystyrene foam Insulation Board on the outside with 2x4 or 2x6 framing, stackup plumbing and venting for plumbing, modern dryers must be on the right side of washer, Avoid fireplaces and fireplace stacks, no high end facets - moen's are good and you can find trim kits if 20 years later you do not like the look. Save money by not installing Reflectix bobble wrap. Avoid unsecure doors (double doors, large sidelights).

Teams: say NO to fancy anything: plumbing, electrical, hvac, siding, windows, finished trim etc etc etc. Every team gets to bid on scheduler. I don't care if there is an "upgrade". No one is allowed to bid three levels: low, medium and premium. If like hvac contractor feels that furnace upgrade is justified - I pay $500 for furnace upgrade. No site (call) fees.

You've received excellent advice here. Just one more thing I'd note: Several posters are suggesting that you plan to add bedrooms, staircases, etc. later. This doesn't make sense. NOW you still have four children at home. NOW you need the space. Later you'll need less space, as you're not likely to have all the kids visiting at once.

Thanks for all the great ideas! As mrspete points out, we need the space now more than ever. The challenge is to get the most square feet we can with nice finishing, but with some concessions. 10 years from now, our income will be double and we would then upgrade the easily upgradable things.

Changing the skeleton of your home is hugely expensive, changing the clothes is easy. Design the house as you want it to be, all dressed to the nines, and now strip away the finery and put potato sacks on everything. Do you want a big kitchen with lots of cabinetry and expensive countertops? Plan for that space but don't fill it up. Put in Home Depot clearance cabinets or melamine cabinets and only put in an 8' or 10' run with a single bowl sink. Do though plumb for a dishwasher "over there" and wire in for a double oven "over in that corner" and wire in for a blast chiller in "the other corner" but leave all those corners empty for now. Put a light bulb in your dining room ceiling and wait to buy the expensive chandelier.

Do you want tiles on your floors? Plan your floor joists to accommodate the weight now and put lino on the floors to hold you until you're ready for the nice tile floor of your dreams.

Do you want your basement to have hydronic heating? Lay down the pex tubing when you pour the slab and simply don't buy the downstream equipment yet.

The bonus which falls out from this approach is that you lower your building permit and property tax expenses - you can't be charged for a $100,000 kitchen if your blueprints only show a $5,000 kitchen.

What I'm describing will save you money because you're not in fact spending money on nice things for your house. I suspect that this isn't what you're seeking though. You're not really going to save a lot of money by foregoing the tiling of one shower or delaying putting granite on your $60,000 of kitchen cabinets. Sure, you will save some, but most of the money in a kitchen isn't sunk into a countertop, so to save the real big money you need to skimp on actual fundamentals, like lots of cabinets and lots of finish carpentry, you know, all the fine clothes that you put on the skeleton of the house.

I'll say that you should put the money into the structure, expensive windows, insulation, pay attention to things like air tightness (gives you a forever dividend on heating/cooling costs) and then go as bare-bones as you can tolerate on the finery. As more money comes into the family finances, then you can upgrade each component to 1st class. Obviously the cheaper the initial components the easier it is to decide to get rid of them. Dumping $2,000 of melamine cabinets is going to be easier than dumping $20,000 of mid-range cabinets in order to install $60,000 of high end cabinets.

Wood-look sheet vinyl could save you quite a bit, and still look great. If you consider how worn the wood will look as well as tile being chipped/broken within ten years, you might want to reconsider putting it in from the get-go. Looks like the real deal.

Traditional Vinyl Flooring · More Info

As for cabs, check out Ikea online, then go to the nearest store. You might be surprised what you can buy and not spend a fortune. The selection is great and if you bring the footprint, they can even help determine how many cabs you'll need.

[cabinets[(https://www.houzz.com/photos/ikea-kitchen-phbr0lbl-bl~l_16)Here's a link........

Serious question: If your income is going to double in 10 years, why not build then? At that point more of your children will be out of the house, and you'll also avoid the difficult issue of "we need LOTS of space now but will need less/different space later".

Good question - we want to have enough room that all the kids can come home and visit with their families someday. My parents did this and it works wonderfully - all 4 of us kids come for holidays, etc. and there is plenty of room. BUT we also have a large family now too - not uncommon to have 9 people at dinner and 9 or 10 sitting down to watch tv together in the evening and we just want more open rooms.

And that sheet vinyl is surprisingly real-looking to me. Good idea - thanks!

Thanks again to those who have taken time to respond - this has been helpful to me.

we used the vinyl plank in some of our house i wish i'd used more some of it is extremely realistic looking and easy to care for and not nearly as "cold" as tile

yes my preference would have been solid wood "heart of pine" but we're talking savings here.........

I know I already mentioned it but I feel it is so important, I want to reiterate it. In my experience there are two spending phases (traps) when building a home.

(1) The design phase - A plan that is designed well, by someone who really understands construction will save you more money with less sacrifice than anything else you can do. We are meeting with the rep from the truss company tomorrow. He will be making some suggestions and throwing out some initical costs for the roof and joists and giving me hints. He was elated that I was going to him before the architect. He already has had some imput on the plans and given me dimensions that are soft and hard limits for us. No matter what sacrifices you make later on, you will never recover from an overly complicated structure or roof. Attached for your viewing pleasure is a roof from a nearby home...

(2) The choices phase (aka..the "it's only" phase) - This is the part where you spend all the money you saved in the design phase... No matter what you do or how disciplined you are, you will find yourself constantly saying, "this option is only x amount more than the cheaper one." The problem with this phase is it makes good logical sense. For example, you may ask yourself should we spend $2.50 on cheap carpeting that we are going to replace in 5 years? Maybe we should go ahead and upgrade to what we want since the marginal cost of the upgrade makes more sense now. The danger is really the cumulative effect of all those small additional expenses. My suggestion is you set an "it's only" budget. Allow yourself to make some choices that are nicer now, this helps you in multiple ways. A $5,000 upgrade budget will get you a nicer house and will actually help you design a house that you are happier with. Sometimes you really don't even know the choices that are important to you until you have to prioritize them.

Anyway, best of luck to you.

Anyone have a ballpark idea what the cost of vinyl planks is relative to hardwood? zippity1?

That is quite a roof pictured above! Wow!

One thing we've been doing (that not all builders will allow, but we're doing a co-build with ours) is buying a ton of materials ourselves. We are buying the cabinets, countertops, lighting, appliances, flooring, and more. Not only does this save money by allowing us to find the most inexpensive source, but we save 10% off the top by avoiding GC attaching his percentage.

BrianS mentioned above that "modern dryers must be on the right side of washer"...

I'm not sure I know what this means. I just bought a brand new set of high-efficiency Maytag appliances, my washer is on the right side. The dryer door is reversible with just a screwdriver. Maybe that is true for front-loaders?

Unless you want to limit yourself to electrolux front loader, the washer should be on the left.

I own electrolux "dishwasher", and one star rating is too generous. My Electrolux refrigerator needed two month to be repair out of the "box" [Main board, icemaker, lcd panel, ice valve, etc] - so I am less than likely to buy another lux appliance.

mamabear vinyl planks probably cost about half what hardwood costs

if you're going for bamboo the difference wouldn't be nearly as much (i don't even know if bamboo is considered hardwood)

sorry i just saw your question

That roof is unbelievable. What a waste.

Yes, front loader washer/dryers work best if the dryer is on the right. Why? Because the doors are not reversible (at least mine aren't), and no one wants to lift the wet clothes OVER doors every time.

I looked at Luxury Vinyl Planks yesterday at Lowes, and I was surprised at how much I liked them. The prices were $2-2.50 . . . was it per square foot? Since I wasn't seriously buying, I'm not really certain.

I agree with bry911 about being cautious about adding on, adding on, adding on -- there's always something a little better -- but you probably can't have EVERYTHING you want.

"We want a large house that kids can come back with their kids some day to visit."

A small main house for two plus a guest. but with "pavilions" you can add later via breezeways, and a bunkhouse for the grandkids to camp in would do it at less expense than having it all under one roof now.

mrspete our vinyl planking is by Karndean and is a "heart pine" color that i can't find anymore
if i had known how much i would like it, i would have done the entire house in it (no slate although i like it-i just like the planks as much)
we were going with the "at your grandmother's house" look and it does accomplish that
the cost was less than 5.50 per square ft ...installed

I don't know what name brand I was looking at Lowe's, but by the time it's installed it'd probably be somewhere in the $5 sf price range, just as you said. Unless I learn something negative, I think we're going to do the whole house in this stuff -- maybe even the bathrooms, though I'm a little iffy on that detail.

i would have done bathrooms too (i used slate in one and marble in the other
mine is very nice, but i love this vinyl planking and it would have saved a bundle..... it's also much warmer (on the footsies) than the tile, marble or slate
my daughter has it in her bathrooms and she love it too (no lift problems or deterioration of any kind)

How long has your daughter had this product in her bathroom? You know what I'm getting at: I'm interested in how long it's held up for her.

mrspete the planks have been in my daughters house about 5 years -- they did the entire house themselves they chose a dark color kids are now 10 and 13, lots of overnight guests, leaking shower plumbing (house built in 1963 and it should have been replaced first but they weren't in to fixing things that weren't broken at the time) kitchen developed a leak in the dishwasher----everything's still in place and looks fine they chose a very smooth finish, and really could have done a better job scraping up the original glue from the old tile-so they have a spot about the size of a quarter that looks like a small lump is under it --- it's not loose just not smooth and having a very smooth finish it shows more --that's been there from day one
i've seen no scratches or wear on the surface. their product came from either home depot or lowe's
while i liked the flooring in her house, i hadn't really thought about putting it in our build i didn't want dark flooring or the smooth finish then our builder suggested looking at it in a couple of other homes in the area and then sent us on to the flooring store.......

Excellent information. I think I'm sold on this product, though -- like you -- I don't want dark tones. Not a problem though; just yesterday I saw some nice mid-tones that I liked.

You've received some great advice. I would add that to get the most from your square footage try to have areas do "double duty" make them work for more than one thing....an example would be a bathroom that is fine with a lower ceiling to have a loft bedroom above it. or beds that pull out from a raised floor to accomidate overnighters. And use the vertical space in rooms to your advantage for storage, etc. Do consider that if the kids are not moving back in that for their weekend visits a hotel room may be more cost efficient than heating/cooling/maintaining their spaces everyday.also have the option of a "bunk room" (galley with bunkbeds each side). You have lots of options and I wish you the best.

One thing I wanted to add about LVT. Make sure that the plans you take to the bank to get the construction loan don't state that the flooring is hardwood. You wouldn't think it would be a big deal but you don't want anything going sideways just because you had HW on your plans.

How many bathrooms have you planned for? How are they configured? Depending on what you have planned it may be a way to save money.

You keep talking about your kids but you seem to be ignoring your needs. If you're hoping to have grandkids come to this house it sounds like you plan to age in place. Have you made the right decisions to make that possible such as putting your bedroom and bathroom downstairs, making sure that your downstairs openings are wide enough for a walker or wheelchair if necessary, reinforcing the wall where the master bath toilet is for a possible future grab bar, etc. It's cheaper to do some simple prep work now than to redo it later during retirement when you might be on a fixed income. Houzz has a lot of great Ideabooks with advice from experts on how to do this.

I forgot to mention that another advantage to putting your regular living space and the master suite downstairs is that you can zone the whole HVAC for the second floor separately and only really cool and heat it to comfortable temperatures when you have overnight guests once all of your kids are gone. You will save quite a bit on your gas and electric bills during your later years when you need to cut costs that way.

x2 on lowering/simplifying roof lines.
and minimizing bump outs.
these two things will save you money.

best of luck.

The biggest drawback for you here is your viewpoint that a home that you build now can both house a large family, and be suitable as a etirement home in 20 years. All on a budget. It can't be all things at all stages of your life.

Build the large budget home you need now for all of those kids, and then look at doing a vacation home down the road that can serve as a getaway now, and as a retirement home later. Kids will be happy to camp out in sleeping bags for a lake home for a few weeks every year. And you can address any deficiencies that it might have for retirement by the time you get there.

I think Sophie makes a good point. What you need NOW doesn't really mesh with your 20-years-from-now plan. You say you expect to be better off financially in the future. It does make sense to build, buy or remodel for what you need NOW, and look at the future after your kids are grown.

Thanks for the thoughts. I don't mind having a large retirement home. My retired parents have a new 5BR/4BA home that we kids all come back to at holidays and I love it. In addition, we are building on land that's been in my husband's family since the 1830's so it's a forever home. :) For purposes of my question, forget I mentioned why I'm looking to upgrade in 10 years. Just generally wondering what types of interior features are easily upgraded later.

My, very opinionated, answers to you question.

1. Get your exterior walls right.
2. Get your ceiling height right.
3. Don't save money on joists.
4. Overplumb a little bit, do rough ins if you want to add space later.
5. Try to anticipate future electrical needs.
6. Make sure your HVAC (especially ducting) is planned for present and future spaces.
7. Try to avoid any future drywall work.
8. Everything else is flexible.

Most things in the interior of a house are fairly easy to upgrade. I guess tile can be a bit expensive, drywall is really just messy, not that expensive.

The problem you run into is the marginal cost and wasted cost delimna. Do you really want to put in cheap flooring for $4 per square foot, when good flooring is only $3 more? Plus when you tear out that $4 per square foot floor you are really going to be just flushing $4 per square down the drain.

The two ways to avoid this is either upgrade to nicer stuff now or use stuff so cheap that you minimize the wasted money, I mean find $1.75 per square flooring.

If youre doing a cash build, do the minimum that it takes to get a certificate of occupancy and still be functional. Painted plywood subfloor or the cheapest 50c vinyl flooring that can be found. Primed walls, and an unfitted kitchen with a sink cabinet, a range, and some yard sale armoires for storage. Have one functional bathroom finished with vinyl floors, acrylic tub and surround, and the cheapest Habitat for Humanity vanity that you can find. Cheap carpet everywhere there isn't vinyl. No moldings. Hollow core doors, if any doors at all.

Then ive your life as a construction site work in progress. Make it your hobby. Finish out one of the baths that you roughed out one year. Put in hardwood one year.

By the time it's done, you won't need the space that you've finished. So, the design should be about being able to close off one wing of the house. Or a basement. Upstairs is harder to do, but can be done.

Pretty much anything can be done if you are a DIY cash build and willing to live in chaos and discomfort. If you need a loan from a bank, can't DIY, and aren't into self denial, you're in trouble.