My husband and I are pregnant with our first. His parents are not first time grandparents. His half sister has three. I have never meet her or the kids. They moved out of state not long after I came into the picture. I mention this, because I have no idea if the issue I am about to bring up was brought up before.

My in-laws are hoarders. They live in a 30+ year old 2 bed, 1 bath trailer. There is stuff stacked to the ceilings in all rooms. I am a tiny person (I'm under five foot), so I can squeeze in many tight places. The hallway is so narrow from stuff crowding it, I have to walk down it sideways. The back bedroom (what would be the masterbed) cannot be navigated from all of the junk. The walls, bed, floor, and parts of the ceiling cannot be seen when standing at the door, which is about how far you can walk into the room. I have never seen the other bedroom or the bath room. Frankly, I don't want to. My mother in law sleeps on a make shift bed on the floor in the living room. There is stuff piled around the bed. The floor is carpet except for the kitchen. What can be seen of the carpet has never been vaccuumed in years. Trash from inside and outside is everywhere on the floor. Everything else is coated in a layer of dust so thick everything has a dull and grey look. My father in law (when he is there; long story short they are estranged for the most part) sleeps on a "couch". It is stacked boxes and containers with layers of sleeping bags and cushions for bedding/cushioning. They keep cats{{gwi:807}} in the house as well. They own 8 cats, but the number they have inside varies. The least I have seen is 2. SOME are litter box{{gwi:807}} trained. The house has always reeked of cat feces and urine. I have no idea how often they change the litter box or where they store the used litter. The last time I was at their house was Christmas day. The house was utterly swarming in roaches. Big and small. The kitchen was the worst. The inside rim of the hood over the stove was fuzzy (best I can describe it) with legs and antenna wiggling around. Roaches were crawling in and out of cabinets. Over appliances. In the sink and dish rack. I didn't see any crawling in the food{{gwi:807}}, but saw them on the containers the food was in. I was appalled and disgusted. I used my morning sickness as an excuse to refuse to eat anything. I then pretended that my mother texted me for a favor, and that I had to leave. I have not been back to their house since and refuse to return. (That was the first time for me to see or them mention roaches).

Their yard is no less appealing. In the fives years that I have known them, cops have been to their place twice for complaints of the smell from their yard and the junk (mainly vehicles{{gwi:807}} that can only be used as scrap now). The yard smells from the cats, which are kept in a make shift pen. They also have dogs and various birds. As far as I know, they have never been fined for the condition of their yard, just issued warnings. What is worse they have a brand new trailer on their property they have never moved into. They claim it was not what they wanted from the manufacturer and refused to send it back because they fear they will lose the land they put up for collateral for it. That house has been there about 4 years. Over all I have no idea how many years their house and yard has been in those conditions.

Sorry for typing out so much but here is the gist: when the baby comes, they will want to babysit. That is inevitable, since they have been ecstatic from the day I told them I was pregnant. That house is in no condition for an infant, toddler, or even them to be living in. I told my husband if they want to watch the baby, then it will be done at our house, not theirs. They have not brought the topic up to is about baby sitting, but I know it will happen. Long before thoughts of kids came to our minds, my husband and I have been telling them to move into the new house and to clean up the yard. The only time we go over there is when we absolutely have to, which is mainly Easter, Thanksgiving{{gwi:807}}, and Christmas. Sometimes not even then. I am more blunt about the subject with my in laws than my husband is. I have told them time and time again that they better move into the new house before the old one collaspes (the floor has several soft spots too) and get the place cleaned up before they are fined for the mess and/or even animal neglect (they are fed and watered very well, but have not been to a vet in years, the cat pen is too cramped for that amount of cats, all animals don't have appropritate shelter from the elements). I tell them these fines will total in the thousands, that jail time may even be issued. Wishful thinking on my part this would scare them into doing something, especially when they have a grandchild on the way.

This may just be the terrible (haha) pregnancy hormones{{gwi:807}} talking. We try to convince them why they have to clean up. They make a little progress. Then everything goes back to the way it was. Everything we have warned them tends to fall on deaf ears. I feel like they are a lost{{gwi:807}} cause and should just stop all visitations (and communications{{gwi:807}} of need be) altogether. They only live 30 miles away. I'm probably worrying over this more than I should and conflicted over what should be done.

This post was edited by LullabyF360 on Fri, Feb 6, 15 at 16:19