We left $2. I have been a waitress, and I loved the job because I like people. We live in California. This restaurant pays $9.25 per hour (minimum). The woman tossed the change on the table and ran off.

I know wait staff work hard, but so do we. I don't like someone trying to manipulate or guilt us into giving more than we choose. Tonight, we ate out (it's been a long week), and we left $6 for a $30 meal, which is what we normally leave, 20%.

I would have posted sooner, but I was at work several hours after the end of the school day. I also have a very long commute (though fairly typical for Southern California).

I hope you're ashamed. I also hope you take the appropriate denominations IN YOUR WALLET for next time. No, I'm not a server and have never been...unless you count serving my family meals. In my opinion, you were very unfair.

First off: Snidely's post really pissed me off...but I am going to bite my tongue on that one.

I am with Redcurls: $2 was a total insult and you never said you had bad service so the server deserved 15-20%. Did it ever occur to you that the restaurant was short on small bills or that was all she had in her bank (if she carries one at that restaurant). And they get paid $9.25 an hour? Never heard of ANY restaurant paying over minimum wage for a tipped position. What chain is this? I am going to send any servers I know there.

If you are going out to dinner maybe you should think about having some cash for the tip ahead of time. DH and I always pay for our meals with credit, but tip only cash. We make sure we have 5's and 1's (and yes sometimes we give $10 or more).

The nice thing to do, especially if the server did her job well and was pleasant to you is to go in and give her $10 and tell her Merry Christmas.

Wow - 9.25 an hour? That's a very good wage, comparatively. I, too, would be curious about which chain it is.

No reason to be ashamed. A tip is not mandatory. The waitress did not do what was expected of her. Then she disappeared. There may have been reasons for her not to have given change, but Alice and her dh are not mind readers.

Tipping has just gotten way out of hand.

I don't totally understand this phenomenon where waiters and waitresses are put on a pedestal. Yes, it's a hard job, but so are other jobs. Like other jobs, if you want better pay, you need to at least meet or exceed expectations in your job.

This post was edited by adellabedella on Fri, Dec 12, 14 at 8:54

I thought that tipping of waitstaff was to help compensate for their low (below minimum) wage.

Redcurls, how judgmental of you. However, your attempt to shame me does no good. You don't know me personally, and you were not there for the events. You simply know the portions that I shared here. Furthermore, tips are not mandatory even if customary. For your information though, I did remind my husband that we keep extra cash in the car for just such situations. We could have easily left more, but we decided to leave less than usual for the reason stated above and others I did not choose to write here as to not muddy the question further with more details. The service was poor, and I'd explain further, but people like you want to be right, not understand. Please, feel free to go on judging; it won't bother me in the least.

I would have been more specific when asking to break the $20 bill. Ask for 1 $10, 1 $5, 2 $2's and a $1. That way you're covered and you don't have to ask twice. Or you could have just left $1 tip because you didn't get the change you telepathically asked for. :)

This post was edited by debby_ab on Fri, Dec 12, 14 at 9:37

"we decided to leave less than usual for the reason stated above and others I did not choose to write here as to not muddy the question further with more details."

so you posed a question & withheld information that would have affected the answers?

Why did you make the post?

I don't have anything to add other than I'm surprised at the low wages restaurant staff might earn elsewhere.

Washington does not allow a lower minimum wage for tipped workers. Waiters, valets, other service workers are paid a base hourly rate of at least $9.32, no matter what they make in tips.

"These jobs often don't attract intelligent, career minded individuals who care about what they're doing. It's usually the opposite."

Really Snidely? My son is one of those people. He's worked all through college, during the summer and on breaks he works 6 to 7 days a week, depending on how much time his employer will give him. I also thought 20% was customary these days? When I go out to eat with him he usually over-tips. So, normally anymore I will pay for the meal and just let him leave the tip. He knows what it's like to get little or nothing after waiting on people.

T.I.P.S. = To Insure Prompt Service

So....no prompt service = no tip! Of course, there are other reasons, i.e., pensioners with enough cash for the meal, beverage and tax but not enough to cover a tip, attitude of server, etcetera.

You did not specifically ask for her to break it down in smaller bills so she probably didn't think about it.

"She tossed the change on the table and ran off". Obviously she was very busy but what did you want her to do, stand there with her hand out?

I also think it's a whole different question when you start adding other details that you didn't include in the OP.

And yes Snidely, I was one of those less than intelligent, non career minded individuals that put myself through four years of college waiting tables and tending bar. Good thing no one told me at the time that I was stupid!

Alice, I probably would've done the same. Many, many, many times that has happened to us. We either wait (again) for her to show back up, go get change and come back again or are forced to leave the larger tip. I would be much more inclined to leave $10 by CHOICE, not force. We are good tippers, at least 20%, and I do carry cash and try to have a bunch of different denominations because I do not enjoy being put in that situation.

In my opinion (for what it's worth) a good server knows to bring change that gives you a choice as to what to leave.

>> In my opinion (for what it's worth) a good server knows to bring change that gives you a choice as to what to leave.

Agreed.

To solve the issue, just pay for meal and tip with credit card. That's what we do.

kathsgarden, congrats to your son for his hard work and work ethic. Same for you, magic az. Both are examples of people working in restaurants without having a career desire to do so.

I think those who see a position as a temporary matter in their lives don't devote themselves to learning and conducting themselves in the same way as those trying to build a lifetime career. In addition to the hard workers supporting themselves while getting an education to do something more challenging, restaurant jobs often attract others who may be in a "just passing through here" phase of life.

Not all, but many. If you haven't noticed it, or known people or people's kids that were so situated, I'd say you weren't paying attention.

We prefer to pay the bill with a CC and leave a cash tip so that the wait staff gets the entire amount and gets it immediately. However...I am rethinking the security of letting a server take our CC away from the table -- to possibly 'clone' it.

What a world! A few creeps have ruined it for everyone else. We used to *trust* one another.

Chisue, no one takes the card away anymore. They bring the debit/cc machine to our table and the card never leaves out sight.

A number of our waitresses make change right then and there with money in their fanny pack.

jasdip, the little machines so common in Canada and much of the rest of the world are rare in the US. But that will be changing soon.

In US restaurants today, cards are removed from the table to be swiped in an immobile device near a register or computer input screen.

Chisue, this practice presents zero risk to you. In the coming year or two, US banks will be issuing cards with chips in them (again, like the rest of the world). With or without a chip, the risk for unauthorized charges belongs to the bank or the retailer, not you.

Sylviatexas & MagicAZ, I made the post because I can and I was curious what others might have done in the situation posted. I did not ask for advice, opinions, or thoughts on the exact specifics of our evening meal. I simply supplied some details.

However, if you'd like, I could take the the time to write out every detail. Would you like to know that we asked the person who sat us where the restroom was located or that my husband left the table briefly after ordering to wash his hands? Would it be helpful to know how many ounces the beverage glasses are and how much soda I typically consume during a meal out? Would it matter what exactly we ate and whether we wanted grated cheese or fresh cracked pepper on top? Do you feel deceived that I now tell you the exact cost of dinner was $38.75 and not $39?

Exactly how detailed should MY post have been to make YOU happy? I wasn't asking for you to tell me what you think I should have done. I was asking what you would have done. That was the point of the post.

"I'm just curious what you all would have done."

BTW, the reason I shared what we choose to do was because people asked.

As a former waitress and bartender, and co-owner, Snidley, your comments are ridiculous. In Texas servers get paid $2.13 an hour and are taxed on tips whether they make them or not. Many chains make them pool their tips, so, if a server gives outstanding service they have to share with those who don't. Then you tip the bus people, the hostess, and the bartender. I am not and have never been a stupid person with no ambition, I have given professional service to every job I have ever held. Including teaching children I taught after college. And, Alice, it is the holidays,what is two more bucks? If you had the correct money in the car, why didn't you go get it if you didn't want to ask to break a bill? Sorry for ranting, just had to pay bills too many times and taxes on money I earned and didn't get to keep.

I think we can dispense with reducing it to the ridiculous;
no, nobody cares whether you went to the bathroom or if you asked to be seated by a window.

No one asked for any details that wouldn't be germaine to the amount of tip one would leave.

'I made the post because I can and I was curious what others might have done in the situation posted.'

but you what you said later casts a different light on the "situation posted".

Your original post *does not mention dissatisfaction with service*.

Only later did you claim that you weren't happy with your service, which is critical for anyone to know how to answer what he/she/they/we would have done.

You posted that the server brought back 2 $10 bills @ 2 $1 bills, & asked what we would have done in the situation.

& most people said they'd have asked the server to break one of the tens.

Since you now say that you weren't happy with your service, would it have made any difference had the server brought back 22 one-dollar bills?

no.

so why did you post the thread?

Since the question posted was "What would you do?", I'll answer you:
I'd have left her a 15% tip.

Knowing how physically, mentally, & emotionally demanding it can be to wait on other people, to be at their beck & call, & to have to try to keep orders & money straight, & to do it for more than one group of diners, & knowing that any server could be a newbie (everybody has to start somewhere, some time), I'd have left the 15%.

As a human being, as a consumer of the service she provided, & as a person who knows how servers are paid (or not paid), I'd have given her the benefit of the doubt, & I'd figure that any diner would do the same.

Sylviatexas, clearly you wanted me to give a different scenario than I did. I was under no obligation to give you the specifics, especially since I was not asking what you'd have done in my specific situation. I wrote the OP, and I got to decide what was in it.

If you can not read my earlier response as to why I posted and understand my words, I am afraid that clear communication cannot be reached between us. I am simply bored with attempting to make you understand, and I am disinterested in explaining my actions any further. For me, this thread is now a "dead horse" as far as my own postings, but I may peek in to read, if anyone else chooses to add more.

Based on what you wrote in your first post my answer would be to ask the server to break the $10. Your post did say that your DH asked for change in order to leave a tip. I guess by asking that and hearing no negativity in your post regarding service, I assumed you were leaving an appropriate tip, as would I.

" I was under no obligation to give you the specifics, especially since I was not asking what you'd have done in my specific situation. I wrote the OP, and I got to decide what was in it"

Oh Alice! You did ask what someone would have done in your specific situation! That is the title of your post for goodness sakes!

You do not like what others have said and now you are defensive. I personally do not think anyone was rude to you, they just stated their opinion. If you don't want to know what people think then don't ask. And you did ask!

Trying to turn this around on the people who did not support your decision is just petty. You never once said you were unhappy with the service until people disagreed with you. Up until then it was simply a matter of not having the exact denominations to leave a tip. Seems like you are trying to justify your decision to stiff the waitress.

Waiting tables was one of the hardest jobs I have ever had.Unless your service was horrific, and you never mentioned that was the case, tipping $2.00 was just mean.

And frankly I think that if you cannot afford a proper tip, you should just stay home.

Snidely, I don't really consider generous tipping to be overpaying. By definition, overpaying is paying more than an amount due, and as tips are completely discretionary, I don't think it fits. I know that 15%-20% is traditional, but in our household we always tip over 20% if the service is fine. It's usually only a couple of dollars but to someone working hard on getting themselves through college, I know it's appreciated. I have tipped lower for bad service, though. I think 10% was the lowest I've gone and that was only once.

I think waiters and waitresses have a hard job that is often underappreciated. Even if there are mistakes, especially if they result from them trying to balance excellent service with covering the high amount of tables that management dictates in the name of lower operating costs. I am much more willing to overlook an empty glass if I can clearly see they are running around really busy. That's management's fault, not theirs.

There are also benefits to being a generous tipper, especially if you are a regular. I enjoy those benefits.

I dread dining out with cheap tippers. If we split the bill and the service was fine, I always add a higher tip on my portion to make up for the lower one on my dining companion's portion as I don't want the waitress to get stiffed.

Alice, as others said, if you don't like the answers...don't ask the question. You are getting really defensive (as in guilt in MHO) and I personally think way out of line on this including your reply posts. Merry Christmas....stay home and eat this holiday. :)

Alice, I for one "get" you! :) I don't find you defensive either...just explaining your post. Some people like to find anything to argue about. Enjoy your weekend.....and go out for a great meal! (just take some cash in different denominations with you!) :)

Oops. Thought i was on the hot topics forum for a second.

I wouldn't take the insults personally. It's just the way the Internet has become. They do not know you from Adam. I completely understand asking your question as you did as you didn't want to skew the answers by giving YOUR experience. THAT wasn't your question. You didn't ask what we'd do if we got crummy service.

Personally I hate to tip and do it only out of obligation. Others use it as a prestige symbol. Think they are impressing with huge tips and "look at me...I tip so big...I'm really well off" LOL! You do realize that in other countries people don't tip and think we are bonkers for tipping someone to do their jobs...right?

In other countries, waitresses are paid a LOT more, though, and don't have to live off of tips. That's the difference. Only a few states require minimum wage for waitstaff.

I wonder how that low wage for waiters ever got started in this country and how can we change this insanity! I'm well aware that waiters make just a few dollars per hour at most restaurants. Doesn't make it RIGHT!

Arkansas girl, I'd like for you to look up (in Google) what waiters in Arkansas are paid in salary by their employers. Go ahead, it'll only take you a few seconds.

I'm a latecomer to this thread, and I assume the OP's issue has been resolved, so I won't address it. But as several others have done, I do want to address Snidely's comment: "These jobs often don't attract intelligent, career minded individuals who care about what they're doing. It's usually the opposite."

Tell me, Snidely, is "intelligent" linked to "career minded?" I don't think it should be, but if it's not, you're saying these jobs don't attract intelligent people. Either way, you state clearly that the jobs are unlikely to be held by those who care about what they're doing. So much (snobbish) presumption on your part!

One of my daughters, my son, my daughter-in-law, and my granddaughter all worked in restaurants to put themselves through college. All four worked as servers at one time or another, and two worked behind the line as cooks. Those two were offered higher kitchen positions--both in good restaurants--but since one was a music major and the other an IT major, it was something they didn't want to pursue on a permanent basis. Still, they obviously did a good job. They cared about what they were doing, and it showed.

My granddaughter has her bachelor's degree now, but she still works in two restaurants because jobs in her field are scarce.

It's true that "better" restaurants give more extensive training to their servers. They also look for people whose demeanor reflects the image management wants to project. They don't want the wait staff stumbling over the pronunciation of menu items, etc. But even chain-restaurant servers know that being reliable employees and keeping customers happy are their top priorities if they want to keep their jobs and get decent tips. Maybe you don't realize this, Snidely, because you avoid these kinds of restaurants.

I always tip 20%. But my kids, the former cooks and servers, often tip more.

rhizo, I have no idea why you are telling me this. I already said that I know they are only paid a few dollars per hour. BTW, I don't live in arkansas! Why are they allowed to get by with that is what I'd like to know and how that got started?

"is "intelligent" linked to "career minded"

Maybe it is in part, or one is an indication of the other in either direction. I don't think intelligence is necessarily related to the years spent or the diplomas accumulated in school. But you can't get away from the fact that part of intelligently planning for one's future is to have a realistic occupational goal and then preparing for same.

"put themselves through college" and "they didn't want to pursue on a permanent basis."

Exactly. What they did can be a true source of pride for themselves and the family, but as I thought I'd described, for them and many others, these were temporary jobs. I don't think someone who does something temporarily has the same attitude about it as another who's looking to built a long-term skill with that employer. You're welcome to have a different view.

Snidely, in your own little world please imagine that there are no restaurants because all people decided to go to work other than being a server and a good percent of them cannot find a job in their field so are not working at all. Guess you would have to eat every single meal at home. :)
Please do.

Some people are assuming that a waiter makes a mere pittance. I believe some here would be surprised at how much money some waiters make with their tips. They may even be making more than YOU! I believe a lot of people do not continue this work because it's too physically demanding not because it doesn't pay very much.

arkansas_girl, you are correct. I know many people who wait tables or tend bar and regularly bring in several hundreds of dollars in tips a night (like $500 on a good night). Some are people who ditched their 'careers' to stick with it because they made/make so much more money in tips.

This post was edited by party_music50 on Sun, Dec 14, 14 at 6:39

I would have put the bill on a credit card and left 20%. Or I would have gotten off my butt and gone to the cashier to ask for change. Or I would have left 10.00. What I would not do was leave 2.00.

I learned a lot as a waitress. I worked for tips and also banquet. My banquet job taught me what all those utensils were for, how to set a table properly, how to fold napkins in elaborate shapes, how to pore wine without dripping it. I could go on but you get the picture.

It was only recently that people who receive tips have to show their tips on income tax. 90% of waitresses, hair stylists, etc and other people who receive tips just declare their base income and a bit of tips. No way do they declare all of the cash they receive.

I knew women who worked in good restaurants and bars and they raked in a lot of money in tips.

This was a chain restaurant, & the bill for 2 dinners was just under $40.

Servers in those places aren't "professional" waiters who are likely to make good incomes.

They're likely young people trying to support themselves or pay school expenses.

"Professional" waiters work at places where dinner for 2 would be $150 or more, & where no diner would dare leave a chintzy tip.

which has...what?...to do with punishing a harried waitress for forgetting or not realizing that she should have brought smaller bills.

Actually, sylvia, that would require us to post off-topic. If you want to keep posts to staying on-topic then we should each only be stating what we would do about tipping in the situation posted by the OP. If staying OT is the rule then it's going to get pretty boring around here pretty quickly. :p

If you had all kinds of bill denominations what would you have left? $7 or $8 dollars? Does $2 or $3 extra really mean that much to you?

Wow. "Can't we all just get along"?

This thread sure has got some peoples ire up. And yes, there are some negative things posted and not full information was given. But really, folks. Does this have to turn judgmental?

I'm not feelin' the love here. We don't have to agree, but we can disagree and still be kind.

Suzieque

Yeah a bunch of mean old meany know it alls.... :)

Cluck...Cluck....Cluck - Hark!
What is that noise?
Why it's the OLD BIDDIES at it yet again. Oh, wait a second, didn't we already have a go-around with that one already? Different name, same tune!

wow. I'm not clear on the reason (or target?) for the 'get along', 'old meany', and 'cluck cluck' remarks, but it's definitely not interesting.