Christmas

emma

How many of you are spending it alone? Compared to 33 Christmases with his kids before my husband died I like to spend mine alone or maybe with Sean Connery. I have a friend who feels so sorry for me and asks me to go with her to her son's and she just does not understand...........I don't want to! She brings me a dinner which I don't eat, especially the chicken and noodles. Ugh! I do not tell her I toss it.

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eclair

I understand. I'd rather be home alone, too. How do you get out of going with your friend? Do you tell her you just don't want to go, or do you make up some excuse?

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emma

On Thanksgiving she said she wouldn't take no for Christmas, but I told her no then and she just laughed. She must have realized I did not want to. It is very hard for me to say "I do not want to go". She did not call and if she had brought me dinner I would not have answered the door. I had my blinds closed which I normally don't do. I hate to feel like a charity case and that is how she made me feel. I am normally not a liar but if she had called I would have made up an excuse.

I think I am a social recluse. I do get out for shopping and to browse when I get cabin fever, so I am not a total recluse. I also take road trips. Would love to find someone that like to do that.

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marylmi

The first year after my husband passed away I just wanted to be home by myself and it just felt right for me. Since then I have been going out to eat on holidays. This year there was three of us, all widows. One lady said at first she would most likely stay home & I didn't push her but the day before Christmas she called and wanted to go out with us.She thanked me for thinking of her (her husband died this past summer) and said she enjoyed it. Emma, why don't you ask your friend sometime to go out to eat other than a holiday? Just a thought as maybe she is lonely too.

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emma

She has a husband and family and I have invited to eat out with me. I think she would enjoy it, but she never goes.

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eclair

EmmaR, you and I have similar lives.

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emma

I had never been free of responsibility in my life until my husband died. It was so nice to go where I pleased, eat when I wanted and buy a new blouse without someone looking over my shoulder. I've traveled extensively to Kenya, Botswana, Peruvian Rainforest, Alaska, Panama Canal, on and on, but now I am in a rut. I still do road trips occasionally, but can't do nature walks anymore. Sorry, I am having a pity party here. I need a cat. LOL

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christine1950

Emma, I'm a little late reading your post but you could be describing my friend & her husband. I was never married (my choice) nor ever had kids so i have no family & when my friend says "but we are your family" I want to scream at her, they would not take no for an answer on Thanksgiving and they left me no choice but to lie (I hate liars by the way) on Thanksgiving morning I told her I was laid up in bed with my bad back. I had a wonderful day with my pets and made a delicious turkey & all the trimmings. She didnt even ask me about Christmas, I think she got the hint finally LOL...

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emma

Christine, I think it is hard for people with family to understand that we had rather be alone. By the time I was 60 years old I was going through major burn out regarding cooking, cleaning and putting everyone in the family before me. Now I am free to do what I want for the first time in my life. I haven't cooked a real meal since my husband went into a care home, except breakfast a couple of times a week.

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