My mom passed away last month after 7 years of my full-time caregiving here in my home. Over the years, her Alzheimer's progressed dramatically and I had no outside help. Only my husband to relieve me sometimes when he came home from work so I could go grocery shopping or for a walk. I was told I could not do it alone, that you have to have visiting nurses come in or else it was impossible. Through the grace of God I took care of her til the end. I was holding her hand when she passed, and I miss her terribly. The last 3 years of her life she was like an infant. She couldn't walk, talk, was blind, incontinent and had to be spoon-fed baby food. I had to move and turn her in the bed but fortunately she was only about 80 pounds and kept her free from bed sores. A couple weeks after Mom passed, Dad came to live with us and he also suffers from dementia. He requires full-time care as well and I take it one day at a time. There is no guarantee that I can see it through till the end all by myself but I am trying. He wanders at night so we have a bed alarm to alert us if he gets up. Therefore, we don't get much sleep! He has fallen a few times in his confusion because he is so unsteady on his feet. He is starting to become incontinent and cannot dress himself. Being a full-time caregiver is the most difficult job I have ever done but my reward is in knowing that my parents are/were safe, comfortable, and where they wanted to be, with family. I also babysit my grandchildren (ages 6 months up to 4).....so my plate is full.

I'm not one to give advice, just encouragement and hope. It CAN be done....but it is at times a monumental sacrifice. Hubby and I can't go on trips, we have little time to enjoy each other, we are tired, and stressed. But after losing Mom last month, I feel remorse for all the times I felt 'trapped' in taking care of her. It really was a privilege. I go forward now with a different frame of mind. As much as it is difficult, it has an eternal reward. I don't normally post on forums other than gardening ones but your post caught my eye. I wish you the strength and courage to do whatever you decide works best....there is no wrong or right choice....and there are no perfect caregivers. Take care.