Dido, thanks for sharing the exquisite poem. It is indeed hauntingly beautiful and poignant. It is written in the same spirit, I think, as that of a little known poem by Edith Wharton, called "Terminus", which details the end of her affair.

I cannot tell you how to exorcise the poem. Maybe you can tell me how to exorcise "Goldengrove Unleaving"? which rings in my head, night and day. Poetry is like that. I find Hardy amazing and almost think I prefer his poetry to his prose!

I can understand how Hardy could haunt your dreams. I have never been much for poetry myself (though I can never forget Homers poem about Venus), but I have had songs stuck in my head. But I am sure everyone has. For me, the only way to remove the song is to either track it down and listen to it until I have had enough, or hum it out loud until it is OUT of there. Maybe if you said some of it out loud it would help.
I am amazed that you can remember all of that poem! I am doing good just to remember a short passage of a book.
CMK

I recently read that the way to exorcise a song you wake up with and can't get out of your head is to sing another one loudly for a long time. Maybe you can recite another poem--loudly--and for a long time?

Dido; What was happening in your life when you learned this poem? Something may have triggered your memory of around this time or another time when you recalled this poem before? The brain plays odd tricks. I can glance at a clock and think, Oh! Tea break time. I have not had a regular job for nearly 20 years, however, my mental alarum clock goes off for that time I took off at my last place of work!
Poetry seems hard to forget because it has memory joggers in the structure. Rhythms and rhymes and quite short lines!

Possibly an event less momentous than those you mentioned triggered the memory - or a scent or a taste. Perhaps you caught a whiff of some type of perfume that was popular way back when, or saw a long-forgotten childhood book or toy. Wouldn't it be fascinating to truly find out why the poem has resurfaced?

Perhaps they want you to write about them--perhaps those two want more of their story told. I can see them, just after WW I, he's still in uniform, she's in a dull-colored suit-she's taken off her hat and laid it on the center table in the private sitting room the innkeeper has shown them to-he stands looking into the fire, she's at the window, watching the storm.

Cece, yes, I've thought that the story needs opening up and writing. But I think the poem was written in around the 1890s. So what were they doing, in Victorian times, meeting in presumably a private room if not a bedroom, at an inn, when 'never the lovelight shone between us two' etc.? I agree, it might make a fascinating tale.

Annpan, I never learned it - I just had to teach Hardy's poetry for A-level (18 year-olds) and poems stick with me. I used to be able to recite reams more than I can now. But you may have hit on something: a sequence of his poems was written after the death of his first wife, called 'Veteris Vestigia Flammae' where his memories of their early years together, particularly their courtship, haunt him despairingly - though they had been almost estranged for a long time in later years. My ex-husband died about 18 months ago and it was a great shock to everyone - not expected at all. He and I remained very good friends, so I was very cut up about it. I go to visit his grave every so often, and I always recite one of those poems of Hardy as I stand there -

'Things were not lastly as firstly well between us twain, you tell?
'But all's past now, despite Time's derision.'
...........................

It ends:
'....... I mind not, thought life lours.
'The bringing me here - nay, bring me here again -
For I am just the same
'As when our days were a joy and our paths through flowers.'

Could be all tied up, I suppose. I've tried reciting it out loud; and I've tried reciting other poems. And yes, it's very like having a tune that you can't get out of your head.

Mary, I think the Hopkins you mention is another that has haunting potential. I've found myself reciting it sometimes, for no reason....It's beautiful.

Thanks, all, so much for joining in and making suggestions. It's still waking me at nights.....

Dido

Dido, I can't offer any explanation as to why that particular poem keeps going through your head although it could be worse. Think of listening to a terrible bit of schmaltzy Lloyd-Webber or something by Elton John s it pounds through your brain.
I'm sure your 'A level' kids got something out of the Hardy. There can be nothing more dispiriting than trying to foster a love of poetry/literature in young people who have little interest in the subject.
I know that Dido is an excellent reciter of poetry and can make even the most obscure work come alive.

BTW Do you see shades of Chesil Beach in At an Inn?
But in Hardy's case less is more . . . and much better for it.

Vee,

Haven't read Chesil Beach so just went and read a review of it. Yes, sounds as though there are "shades'. But I don't much fancy reading it, though the reviewer was very enthusiastic. And he compares/contrasts it with Philip Roth's work - which puts me off it entirely,

A musician friend has just told me what to do if I get a piece of music raging through my head: he says, sing aloud 2 verses of 'We'll plough the fields and scatter', no cheating (though if you don't know the words to the 2nd verse you can sing the 1st one again) and it will exorcise it. Why? Because, he says, 'We'll plough..' is such an execrable tune. So, for anyone who is suffering, you might like to try that.

Dido

Dido -

Your last post made me smile when you mentioned the song "We Plough the Fields" as it bought back a lot of childhood memories when I was a kid in England. Thanks for the smile!

Maybe try to learn another poem to replace the one you have in your head? Or, as others have already mentioned, perhaps it was triggered by some sensory perception that reminded you of someone somewhere. I like the poem you recite to yr ex-husband at his grave - very poignant. Sorry to hear about your loss though. Unexpected can be very hard to deal with.