I have not read the book, but I've had those thoughts myself. Does everyone? Sounds like it, if there is a whole book full of them.

Generally mine occur either when I'm on a long drive on empty highways and the mind wanders, or when I'm weeding the garden. Talking to my younger self I begin by addressing specific incidents, "that is a really good decision, stick to it", or "don't give up on that path so easily" or "he may be fun but don't take him seriously". Then I offer comfort "I know it looks really bad and you can't see the way out but I'm here to promise you that it does get better". Sometimes I move on to formulating general life principles for the earlier me. Then I realize that all I did before, even the stupid mistakes, led to me being where and who I am. Since I like rather like where and who I am, I guess I ought not change a thing in the past. Except perhaps I would offer the hug and the reassurance that it will get better in time, because it did.

Rosefolly

I read this last year and liked it well enough, but I didn't love it. I keep a book list on Bibliophil.org and looked back on my review, which read in part:

While most of the advice these women offer to their younger selves is not surprising or unusual, there are small moments of great wisdom tucked in here and there. My only complaint would be that the majority of women reflect the peer group of the author - late 40s to early 60's - just a little too heavy on the Boomer side. There are a handful of younger women here, too, but the balance is Boomer generation.

I think I must have been looking for some wisdom from my own (only slightly younger) age group. Definitely worth reading, but I'd look for it at the library, first. Just IMHO.

Rosefolly, too true. I look at myself in the mirror and talk to my younger appearance about how old we have grown, as well as wishing my younger self could only have known how well life would turn out in spite of the sags and wrinkles.

There are a series of life insurance (I think...) commercials running right now with a similar theme-the one that gets me is the woman waiting in the hospital while her husband has surgery-and her older self comes and tells her how much they will love Italy-so she knows her husband survives.

>, as well as wishing my younger self could only have known how well life would turn out in spite of the sags and wrinkles.

Ayup. I couldn't wait to get older and not have to deal with the usual teenage angst, the not feeling right in my own skin, the insecruities, the indecisions. I got to the point where I felt it would never end. Once I got old enough to think about those years objectively, I came down to one conclusion, just one thing I'd tell my younger self - the older I get, the better I get. I turned 50 last year, think about my younger self, and wish someone could have told me then how wonderful I'd feel now.

I have to check out this book, it sounds like I could have written it.

I wish I hadn't spent so much time obsessing about my looks and worrying that I wasn't thin enough, beautiful enough, fill-in-the-blank enough. It is very freeing to be older and have that pressure released. I should have spent all that time learning another language or doing charity work like teaching kids to read. But...I still can!

Coming from a UK generation that was so totally repressed both at home and at school and putting up with it I have considerable admiration for people who think/speak their minds and have the ability to stick to what they believe in (I don't mean in a rude or aggressive way).
We were so heavily under the thumb of adults we didn't bother overmuch with what we looked like, what we wore, how thin/pretty/glamourous we were.
This was, of course, before the teenager came into being, 'pop' music was in its infancy and really no-one cared what young people thought/felt.
On reflection it spared us from a great deal of angst, but it hasn't helped to produce a happier complacent old-age.

Agreed. I justed turned 48 and I am in a much better place in my head than in my twenties, everything seemed so URGENT and now I have a more live in the moment, whatever happens, happens attitude. I try to tell my kids (17-23) to relax, sometimes they can, sometimes they can't.

My advice is similar to all of the above: Don't be so severe and strict with yourself. Set goals, guidelines and boundaries, but don't feel that you have failed in life if you didn't meet the highest goal, or keep within the narrowest guidelines. The true definition of success, beauty, and education (both personal and universal) is far more broad than the one you wrote for yourself at age eighteen. Tunnel vision is great, if you live in a tunnel; in any other setting it can cause more problems than it solves.

As an end of the year reward, today at school we watched Meet the Robinsons, a Disney film-and there was a good message for my little cherubs-actually, two. The first was "You can learn a lot from failure...from success not so much." The other was "Keep Moving Forward!" This is certainly the time of life messages, what with graduations and the beginning of the June wedding season.

I've been thinking more about this thread. If we could somehow talk to our younger selves, would those younger selves even listen?

No doubt we'd be delighted to know that we were still alive in 2008, but at 20 or so we'd be horrified to see how old we look now. And while I think we'd listen to our future selves more patiently that we'd listen to other adults such as parents, I suspect that we'd brush off the most important advice. It would not be what we want to hear. Because we had not yet had the experiences that taught us those lessons, we would not be able to accept them.

At least, this is probably the way I would react. Perhaps others absorb wisdom more gracefully. I have always had to learn everything the hard way.

Rosefolly

Rosefolly-

I think I agree.My husband is disabled and even though the doctors explained everything to us at the beginning I was sure I could handle it no problem. Well, there have been challenges and many unexpected consequences and definitely times when I wish I didn't have to deal with it. I wonder if I could turn back time if I would still make the choice to continue? I don't know. It seems like we humans have a strong sense (maybe unrealistic) of our capabilities and we go ahead and do things that we shouldn't despite the best advice.

This reminds me of another book, "Eisenstein's Dreams" by Alan Lightman. It's about how different our lives would be if we didn't remeber the past, if our days were only a few hours long, if aged differently, etc.

"I have always had to learn everything the hard way." Me, too, Rosefolly. And I don't think my younger self would have listened at all. Who was it said, "Youth is wasted on the Young."

One of the most memorable little books I ever read was "The Precious Present." (can't recall author). It's theme was that the Present time is really all we have. Pointless to waste time regretting our all too human errors in the past, and futile to attempt to predict and control our future. It really made sense to me.

I have learned that, being only human, we all have regrets for past follies and we are all seeking mercy and forgiveness.