Mary, I had to return my Penguin copy of 'A' to the library so cannot check the pages you mention, nor can I answer Carolyn's question about the times A was in hospital having suffered breakdowns; maybe you can help her out. I would agree with you that the sense of identity and its loss, are probably the strongest themes throughout the book. If one knew nothing about the author if would be easy to suppose he was writing about himself; that he was 'A', but Sebold was born at the end of the conflict at a time when what had happened in Germany was brushed, by them, under the carpet. Despite my parents having several German friends little mention was made of what happened to them (or by them) from '39 - 45'. It was not considered polite to bring the subject up. One friend told them that while living in the Ruhr an area that suffered heavy allied bombing towards the end, her father was in an air-raid shelter and mentioned to another man "Surely we cannot go on much longer." He was overheard by an informer and, within hours, was dragged in front of the SS and locked in prison for several weeks for unpatriotic remarks. Another German acquaintance lost a husband at the Russian Front and moved to her parent's home in the country. The area had been heavily mined by their own troops and she saw her father and only son blown up when their horse and cart ran over one of the mines. She became very bitter and was given the job of caring for us three children while my parents went abroad for a couple of months. It was not a happy experience for us; not that she beat us or was cruel . . . just something in her attitude . . . and we were too young to understand or have any sympathy.

The guy with the white strip is Striptease. You have some beautiful mature hostas there. By the time mine in pots get even close to that, I have to divide them and re-pot because I cannot handle a pot larger than 3 gal. Nuts. (trade-offs for living on a small suburban lot in CA). Thank you so much for those beautiful mature hosta pics. Most of what we see here on the forum is new plants less than 5 years old. Congrats on the Masters. Methinks you get a Masters Degree for growing such beautiful hostas! -Babka

Thank you all for your warm responses! Today was not a good day energy-wise, but it means a lot to me to hear from you. I am both looking forward to and dreading my return to work since just being home can be so exhausting at times that I can't imagine how I will manage actual work. Yikes! I may not be back here until later in the week! Thanks again!

Oh Joe, you remind me so much of myself. Every time something stressful happened in my life, I went out and whacked up the yard. Last year, when I was POd at my older son, I literally hung on a banana plant to pull it down so I could saw it off, then dug up the corm and gave it away, because it had nubs on it that I knew would turn into new trees for someone. Once in North Port, when I was faced with losing my house, I went and took out nearly the entire back hedgerow, and made a pile so high and long that it used up my entire yard trash allotment for the year. After that, I had to stuff as much as I could into my 4 large garbage cans and several 5-gallon buckets every week so they'd haul it off. It's very cathartic to whack things down. I can't blame you for wanting to lighten your load, but someone may have come and gladly dug up that Valencia pride. Too bad it had to go. I'm facing some pretty heavy yard work ahead myself, as I've decided to move to Mexico next year when my lease is up. Can't take the plants with me, so they all have to go, hopefully to happy homes. I may have a "dig up the yard" party this winter and let my GW friends take what they want. You could never bore us. Life is crazy and relationships are hard. I'll always love you both, and hope you do find the woman of your dreams. I know how tough it is being alone, which is one reason I want out of here and am off for another country. I thought Gainesville would be my saving grace, and it's turned into my worst nightmare, so I'm off to live la vida loca! Might as well enjoy that last few years of my life.