Observations and thoughts I must remember ......

15 years ago

I think these are such a funny thing.....or a funny think !

I must remember them for future use !! :0)

Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.

I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on the list.

Dolphins are the only creatures smart enough to train people to stand at the very edge of their pool and throw food at them.

If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.

War does not determine who is right -- only who is left.

Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.

I thought I wanted a career; turns out I just wanted pay checks.

A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don't need it.

I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.

A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.

A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you will look forward to the trip.

Money can't buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to deal with.

Some cause happiness wherever they go. Others whenever they go.

I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure

You're never too old to learn something stupid.

If you are supposed to learn from your mistakes, why do some people have more than one child?

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Comments (8)

vickitg
15 years ago
Love these. I recognized a couple of them, but not the rest. Where did you get them?
lemonhead101
15 years ago
I really laughed at the grandfather/car wreck one, and the parachute one is spot on!!

Fun to see these again... every now and then, they make the email rounds...
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Yes william I see RC cola at wallyworld here. I always like my RC w/peanuts also. My brothers likes yohoo (hope that is spelled right). One of my all time favorite things was banana moon pies. One year my children ordered me a case of moon pies from the company, ha. We all got a good laugh out of that one. Had them in the freezer for quite a spell. I do remember the size of the candy bars changing, as well as the penny candy counter. We each received a nickel an had such a hard time deciding how to spend it. Yes I also was told that about the 50's as well. I grew up in the 60's. There are so many things that have changed in the world. I think gardening is a one true constant for me. My grandfather was the one who helped developed my love for flowers and gardening. Every sunday we would go to visit. The turn to go up the drive was always so beautiful. The grass was always mowed and the flowers, he had so many different kinds. I remember thinking that a rainbow had touched his yard. With the row of maples in the fall you just could not take your eyes for the view. He was a bee keeper so he had plenty of help w/pollination. As a treat he would cut us a slice of the comb. We had homemade ice cream a lot back then. Sounds like your husband has met some interesting people. The closest I can to interesting was transporting (?) for our government. Never knew an don't want to. I have enough trouble sleeping at night. Has any of you ever written any of this down for your families? I keep meaning to write things down for them to have, just never get around to it. To busy planning my next dig in the dirt day : ) Bonnie
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phyllis__mn
15 years ago
Love them, but particularly the diplomat one!
yoyobon_gw
Original Author
15 years ago
I think the one that tickled me, because I didn't expect it, was the grandfather observation.

We need a good laugh every now and then...:)
veer
15 years ago
yoyo, for those of us who can't remember what we had for breakfast here are a few thoughts sent from one of my US cousins so you may have already seen them ... or seen them and forgotten.

A Few Good Senior Moments

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An elderly gentleman had serious hearing problems for a number of years. He went to the doctor and the doctor was able to have him fitted for a set of hearing aids that allowed the gentleman to hear 100%
The elderly gentleman went back in a month to the doctor and the doctor said, 'Your hearing is perfect.. Your family must be really pleased that you can hear again.'
The gentleman replied, 'Oh, I haven't told my family yet.
I just sit around and listen to the conversations. . I've changed my will three times!'

------------------------------------------------

Two elderly gentlemen from a retirement center were sitting on a bench under a tree when one turns to the other and says: 'Slim, I'm 83 years old now and I'm just full of aches and pains. I know you're about my age. How do you feel?'
Slim says, 'I feel just like a newborn baby.'
'Really!? Like a newborn baby!?'
'Yep. No hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my pants.'

------------------------------------------------

An elderly couple had dinner at another couple's house, and after eating, the wives left the table and went into the kitchen.
The two gentlemen were talking, and one said, 'Last night we went out to a new restaurant and it was really great.. I would recommend it very highly.'
The other man said, 'What is the name of the restaurant?'
The first man thought and thought and finally said, 'What is the name of that flower you give to someone you love?
You know.... The one that's red and has thorns.'
'Do you mean a rose?'
'Yes, that's the one,' replied the man. He then turned towards the kitchen and yelled, 'Rose, what's the name of that restaurant we went to last night?'

------------------------------------------------

Hospital regulations require a wheel chair for patients being discharged. However, while working as a student nurse, I found one elderly gentleman already dressed and sitting on the bed with a suitcase at his feet, who insisted he didn't need my help to leave the hospital.
After a chat about rules being rules, he reluctantly let me wheel him to the elevator.
On the way down I asked him if his wife was meeting him.
'I don't know,' he said. 'She's still upstairs in the bathroom changing out of her hospital gown.'

------------------------------------------------

A couple in their nineties are both having problems remembering things. During a checkup, the doctor tells them that they're physically okay, but they might want to start writing things down to help them remember ..
Later that night, while watching TV, the old man gets up from his chair. 'Want anything while I'm in the kitchen?' he asks.
'Will you get me a bowl of ice cream?'...
woodnymph2_gw
15 years ago
Vee, these are priceless! LOL ;-)
rosefolly
15 years ago
Loved them all. My favorite was the one about the ice cream.

Rosefolly
yoyobon_gw
Original Author
15 years ago
It reminds me of the story of an elderly couple....
After riding for several minutes, Arthur becomes disturbed by his wife's erratic driving. She nearly missed one light and now has gone through a stop sign.
Irritated, he says: "Lucille, you just went through a stop sign !"
To which she replies: "Oh....am I driving?"

Observations and thoughts I must remember ......

Comments (8)

vickitg

lemonhead101

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Observations and thoughts I must remember ......

Comments (8)

vickitg

lemonhead101

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